Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The C word...

College seems to be a topic where some individuals get shy to speak about or something that should be left alone and not spoken about. Some of the reasons that may come to mind is the difficulty of visualizing where the future may take us. Since the future is merely an idea and is not something quite set in stone yet, pretty much anything can go. In circumstances like these we are forced to make decisions and not doing anything about the future is a decision a lot make because we have no clue what to do with the remainder of life. In the beginning of my freshman year in high school I had no plan as to what I wanted to achieve in my life, every time I were to be asked I simply lifted up my shoulders and recited the "I don't know". Some people had a scattered idea but it was better to have something to start with than nothing. Until my junior year in high school is when I had enough. To not be able to give an immediate or a solid answer for me was embarrassing. Here I am a bright kid with a passion for learning and then not to be able to name one college of interest or career to a family member, counselor or friend? I had to change that and by taking little steps into the wild is probably a good way to start.

1. Attend college presentations. 
I understand that there will be times that a college presentation may not be of little to no interest of yours maybe because the college does not sound right or of the location but you should at least take an advantage of what is being offered at your convenience. The college adviser set up and planned this presentation not for themselves but for the students to open up their minds to college. Now I do not know how much time and effort the college advisers place for their students but starting at their title as College Adviser should allow the idea that their main focus is to assist and guide students to a college. To help find a college that the student could be compatible to. These presentations can be broad since they are limited to time but attend a few of these and slowly jut down which ones were eye catching to you then go research or call for more information. A dedicated student are like brownie points for colleges and to see that you have set an effort to gather more information is by far marvelous.

2. Talk to your college adviser or counselor.
Like I touched upon, college advisers or counselors are educators too except they specialize more based on the student. Grades, the counselor know. Test scores, the counselors know. What you had for breakfast, alright so not everything about you but they do know a good chunk of your academic life. You are pretty much out in the nude so what is there to hide? I have a little secret to tell you... they also went to college. THEY ALSO WENT TO COLLEGE! Of course they have been in your shoes, some point in their life they had to apply for college in order to get their job. Bonding with your counselor will make this transition so much easier and less stressful trust me they will keep you in check. Trust your counselor or trust in an educator that will help you strive and break you from your fears of attending college.

3. Be consistent and open minded. 
At some point my oldest brother looked straight into my eyes and told me to apply for colleges. Apply to as many as you want that interest you and the rest will follow through. Do not repeat the mistakes that were committed by my brother where he only applied to one college and crossing his fingers that he will get in. When D-day came, he was declined and was stressing out as to where he would be going to college. The blessing was that a close family friend recommended him to a college that they had graduated from. Now in 2015 he will be graduating with his bachelors in Aerospace Engineering. Besides the point, be open minded but do not get discouraged if you are not accepted to one of your choices. This is why I want all of you to apply to at least five colleges. Just five. Easy, right? If you want to apply to more, be my guest.

4. Financial aid to the rescue!
Depending on the college you have applied to there will be numerous amounts of opportunities to get financial support to assist you in college expenses. By far one of my main reason of college is being able to afford it. Any scholarship that you are eligible for, you should really consider filling it out. There is money everywhere even in places you would doubt. See if they are any chances of being a student worker in your upcoming college that will provide any necessities or money to pay for college. There is also grants available which is basically free money so I would take full advantage of those too.

College at the moment for me is a surreal idea to think about but to be accepted is like confirming that surreal idea. Just know college is worth it so instead of being intimidated by them embrace them with full force. There are people out there to help you out, you just have to find them.

Which colleges have you applied to and what major did you have in mind?

xx Chavelita

Monday, December 29, 2014

Discouragement is the devil

Raise your hand if you ever encountered the sensation of losing faith in what you believe in? Or to have this feeling that no matter how hard or how much you work to strive for success you still feel stuck? Well I'm going to be straightforward with you all, it's the worst. We try to pick up our loose pieces but we drop them as soon as we see someone else finding the success you were grasping for. Well the only way to get through discouragement is to actually tackle down the problem. I have my waves but the way I manage to get through them is to remind myself of the accomplishments that were completed. If I were to get through those, what makes the the next problem any different? At the moment it may seem like you're climbing up a snowy mountain, never ending and tiresome, clueless as to where you will end up to be. The atmosphere so thick that you cannot see in front or in back of you but you keep pushing forward because we have this mentality that we've made it this far that to give up seems like a waste of effort. 

To friends I've been telling them to believe in themselves. Yes it is easier said than done, but it is a crucial step to take. A friendly reminder from yourself to yourself. Practice it. Preach it. Sing it. Scream it. Do whatever it takes to get that message engraved into your head. Do not throw in the towel just yet if you feel like something is not working out change it up a bit. Pick your battles carefully and plan them out. Do not just plan one out but a good set of three just in case you change your mind or something does not work out that you have a back up plan to soften your fall. 

Be optimistic. Apply your talents whenever you can, try not to take your failures too personally. I cannot promise you that everything will work out because that would be a lie but I can promise you that the sooner you get up the better. Keep the ball rolling and do not compare yourself to others successes because your successes are incomparable to others. Only you know what those successes are worth. Do not let other things or people dull you or of your achievements. If people congratulate you for them bless their hearts but don't let that distract you either. Just like the book Me Before You, “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” (You should read this novel when you have the chance). So yes, live your life and avoid getting stuck. If you do, find a way to get back on your feet. Time is not stopping for anybody so use it to your full advantage. 

PS The new year is coming up perhaps take this time to clean up your plan and tweak it if needed. Change can be refreshing but be careful as well. Maintain a balance within yourself and others. Do not completely isolate yourself from distractions or people but do not get attached to anyone either. 

What are your plans to live life to the fullest? 

xx Chavelita

Thursday, December 25, 2014


First of all I want to apologize for my disappearance, I understand as a blogger I should remain consistent among my work and to be able to provide support for everyone of my reader even if most of you read my blog silently. What ever the cause may be though, please know that my contact information is still there in case any of you need a friend to speak to or advice because of you guys is why I write. Alright aha enough with the mushy talk.

Well the other day I was messaging a really close teacher of mine and somehow the topic of the human race came into discussion from me mentioning that I was going to have my wisdom teeth extracted. Going back through the messages I had told my teacher that there was times that I did not enjoy being part of the American teens statistics. Lately I have been obtaining this sensation that instead of progressing with time that the youth is declining with everything moving at such a rapid pace. To be honest with all of you, I do not have the slightest clue of fixing this situation I and the rest of the teenagers been placed in. Then I thought maybe we are just in a phase. We are in the phase that I would like to use exercising as an analogy. When you exercise you have crossed emotions of feeling sore, you have a sense of pride in the progress you are making, a bit of frustration that the results are not coming fast enough and simply lethargic from all the work you put into your body. Though there will come a time where the exercises that you were once performing are no longer giving you the results and instead they are being counterproductive. The body has basically adjusted to these exercises that the muscles neglect the work which is why your physical education teacher tells us to switch up our exercises in order to produce strength within our bodies.

We are in that transition phase of deciding whether to add more weight or to completely change the exercise so coming back to the human race we are stuck trying to decide what path to take. The reason why we are stuck is that we rather stick to the familiarity than to attempt something out of the ordinary. It is a frightening step to take, believe me because we all crossed this path at least once in our lives. As soon as someone does decide to walk along the "unorthodox" path they are soon put on this spotlight. We try so hard to find new improved methods to move this country forward but we are soon discriminating or creating prejudice thoughts that ruin the image we create for ourselves resulting us in abandoning that route and detouring into our comfort zone. I really wish I had to solution to this situation you have no idea how many times I question the thought process of others and the outcomes of some of the friendships throughout the years.

I just want all of you to know that if you do not like something you are not obligated to follow that trend. In fact remain true to your beliefs and liking because oddly when you think you are alone, there are a vast amount of others who are waiting to find someone they could be compatible with. Whenever we will be ready, a significant breakthrough will shape our generation and soon prove the potential we have. We all share something in common, we all have a brain and with the power of knowledge I believe it is our ticket to success we just need to find a way to connect all these thoughts and intentions together.

What are your thoughts on your generation?

xx Chavelita

Monday, November 3, 2014

The storage tree

Lately I have felt this heavy, not necessarily physically but like this weight of emotions on top of me that has kind of been suffocating for a while. It was not until yesterday when I spoke with my Dad did I realize that there was something that I had to change about myself. For that reason I want to share a story that he told me during our talk.

There was once a gardener and a carpenter. The gardener came to work and first he wanted to cut down some trees to make room for his garden but the machine just wouldn't turn on for him. Moments later he attempted to do another task in the garden but it started to rain that interrupted him again from completing his task. It was bad thing after bad thing, and when it was time to go home his car would not turn on so he asked the carpenter if he could take him home. The carpenter said yes because he had noticed the gardener going through his hardships. As they arrived home to the gardener's house, before the gardener went inside the house he encounters this tree on the side of his house. He touched the tree and once when he was done he invited the carpenter into his house for a cup of coffee. Drinking his coffee he begins to see the gardener playing and laughing with his children as if nothing were to happen. Which the carpenter found strange because didn't he experience a troubling day at work? When the carpenter was about to leave, the gardener escorted him out but before the carpenter could leave he had to ask him what did he do to the tree that made him lose all this anger. The gardener then said, that is the tree where I leave all my problems that has happened to me during the day. The next day I go back to the tree to pick up my problems as I go to work but usually its less problems then what I had left the night before. And with that the carpenter left in his truck.

I have always had this issue of wanting to help people and I also have this bad habit of carrying other people's burdens with me. And I told myself, I need my own tree. I need a place where I can put all these troubling thoughts and frustrations in one place, in that way it does not affect my performance in other things. It is not fair that I was affecting the people around me who did not have anything to do with my situation and it was time that I changed that. I have decided to just stay in this neutral state, I cannot force help on those who ask for it and it should not be my problem because honestly it is not my problem. I am not the one having to live through other people's situations, which is why as of now I should focus on what I have to get through and to get done. If people need help, then I'll help but that is if they only ask me for it. I also struggled to find people who would understand what it is that I was going through and all this time I have been overlooking my family for many years. It was not until my aunt told me that why I was telling outsiders my problems when I have a family who knows exactly what is going on. So guys please, do not take your family for granted because when they say they are there for you I kid you not they are there for you. And if that is not the case, usually those who are there for you, are there for you. Be careful who you tell your problems to.

How have you guys been? I hope you guys are all doing well.

xx Chavelita

Saturday, October 18, 2014

I don't know what to say

A laughter a day they say 
Could keep the sickness away 
To smile and wonder 
Can create such a blunder 
Avoid the mad, the sad, and the bad
And to just be glad 

My tears lose their meaning 
As more and more are seamlessly leaving 
Choked up in my own words
How wondrous a mind can be without cords 
I close my eyes and I count to three 
Soon I escape to a vast land of trees 
If only there was a possibility 
That one day I could expand this probability 

To be open and accept those 
Who are waiting to be close 
But instead they are placed aside 
Hoping that they would soon glide 
So I wouldn't have to manage 
The fact that one day they don't have to deal with my baggage 
Endless fights that keep me awake 
Of what could of been if I stopped being fake 

Pieces of me scream I can do it 
Though other times I'm left with a pit
How can someone be so happy 
But also feel so crappy 
If life were to give us answers instead of lemons 
Would we be content with the lessons 

So many questions 
Yet I cannot seem to get any explanations
So as of now I remain as myself 
And that someday my life will be found on a shelf 

This poem I wrote last night around 9 PM and at first it all started with the intention of writing a poem. The idea didn't come to me until I started writing, and everything just happened to spill. I called this poem, "I don't know what to say" because lately that is what I have been replying to. I have these moments where you have the words at the tip of your tongue and it's not that you're being inconsiderate but the words aren't there. Well these are the thoughts I have when that happens. I have stories, I just don't know where to begin.

What ways do you use to express yourself?

xx Chavelita 

Saturday, October 11, 2014


Anxiety is a weird feeling to experience and mostly comes in the most inconvenient moments. For an example, I went downtown with my parents for the second time. Walking down the sidewalk though I kept seeing people that looked similar to the person I had to confront. Something like this has never happened to me before. Perhaps the only thing that has happened when I reached in this level of anxiety is that I avoid the public so I would not have to confront that person. It was different this time because everyone around me reminded me of that person. Then the lightheaded feeling was returning and the rush of butterflies in my stomach could not stop. My thoughts were scattered, is it possible that as someone gets older anxiety takes a different toll? I am not sure if I should see a doctor for this since I would not be able to explain in exact terms of what is going on with my body.

From these episodes of anxiety I have learned though that the sooner you deal with them, the easier it is to get over them. The damage would not be severe because for one thing I would not want to have foggy thoughts because then I am disoriented with the world outside of me. My tips in lowering anxiety is taking a calm steam-less shower or bath whichever you prefer. Steam actually triggers this sensation of suffocation that makes me more anxious so I am not sure if it gives other people the same reaction. Take a walk. Even  if it is just for a block, it will help clear out your mind and your lungs will be grateful for the fresh air. If you want, take your music along and imagine yourself in your happy place. Control your breathing, normally when anxiety decides to kick in you begin to breathe quicker and you may not be realizing it. Steady your breath intake, don't worry there is enough oxygen for you to take in. The same concept of being sick and losing your appetite happens in anxiety and what I recommend is that to at least eat half of the portion you would normally eat. Your body is your temple, and you need to nourish it in order for it flourish it (no rhyme intended aha). Drink lots of water or maybe drink a cup of warm tea to relax yourself. Lastly take a nap or rest your body, clear your mind for a while or give your thoughts the time to catch up.

I understand that anxiety comes in many forms and severity but it is important to take care of yourself. Take a day off once in a while and avoid having all your stress pile up. Exercise all that anxiety away if you need, have a mini party session for yourself and dance until you can't anymore. Whatever it takes to reduce that anxiety do it just make sure it is legal please. Talk to someone if that may be the case. Anxiety can be a pain in the butt, but you have the power to kick its butt.

What are some ways you do to get rid of anxiety?

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"I don't know what to do"

Every time I hear someone tell me, "I don't know what to do", I break a little inside. If you do not know what you want, then how exactly am I supposed to know what you want? The only thing I could simply do is be your supporting friend and listen to anything that you have on your mind. This seems like a test and frankly I am not sure I am passing it. When I do not say anything the majority of the time is because I do not know what to say. It's like my mind goes on overdrive running infinite amount of circles as a hamster on a wheel. Though I have been thinking, if you do not know what to do I suggest you step back from the big picture. Perhaps you are over analyzing the choices you have that you are not quite seeing them clearly. Sometimes for a question it would only need a simple answer. Stress could indeed be a major factor and there are times you would want to breakdown. There is nothing wrong with breaking down it relieves some of the stress and it allows you to start over.

Some questions I ask myself when I feel this way is, "Why am I feeling like this?" which helps guide my focal point to the issue. Writing down these feelings in private could also shape the cluttered thoughts like for myself I have a journal where I write anything and everything when I could no longer handle it. It is your journal thus you can write anything in it, exactly the way you want it. What I advise you though is that you go and tell someone too. Talking about it with someone gives you leverage and to further organize those thoughts. Usually when someone does not know what to do, they have an idea what they want. They are not completely in the dark or how else would they know how they are feeling this way? This expression is rather tricky and from experience you just have to give it time. Do not ask me how much time you should give yourself or the person experiencing this because it all depends on the individual. I know it may sound a bit rude, but it's the best that I got. I cannot simply go into someone's mind and make decisions for them. I mean I could barely even make own decisions... Though what you can do is let them know that they are not alone in this. Do not force them into making a decision, this is the time where you have to be understanding and have patience for that person. Trust me, I know it is hard to see someone go through this though you still have your life is still continuing. You cannot just push pause on your own life. Do not drop everything for that person, when they are ready they will come for you. Faith is a key factor of dealing with circumstances like this. It is all about playing your cards right on your faith and facing whatever may come up.

What I also think is that perhaps yourself or that person needs to change something in their life in order to find their place. A routine could be great until there is one piece of it missing that throws you off. Think of what will make you content with your life and play with it. If something does not work, exchange it for something else until you find that happy medium. That is the wonderful thing about being your own person, that you are able to change what you do not like for something that you do. Just be careful for what you are changing because sometimes there is no way of going back to the life you previously had.

When was the last time you took a risk?

xx Chavelita

PS I apologize for not writing, I was indeed sorting out my own thoughts ahahaha but they will be more I actually have a list of topics on my phone so keep your eyes peeled for them! :)

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Emotional health

Ever since the tragic death of my Grandmother everything had soon fall apart, yet it forced me to think what it is that I wanted for myself. This is already a mistake, don't wait until something tragic or heartbreaking to occur for you to make a change in your life because it will take a longer time to recover from it. Not everyone is perfect and I know for certain I am no where close to perfect, but sometimes you have to step back from where you are and view the situation you're in from a larger perspective. The issues that has been occurring between family and still have to carry out my school work it was stressful, and you know what I told myself? That people have it worse than me, that my problems are just minimalistic compared to others and that I could handle it myself. Yeah, slap me on my wrist because I did discuss this in a earlier post. Though sometimes the decisions you commit are at first conscious but you get stuck in this habit that it begins to become a regular and that is when you have to stop. When you feel like you are falling apart and you find yourself crying yourself to sleep, that is a major flag that you do need help. When you cannot necessarily explain what it is that you are feeling that is something you should take into consideration and in my opinion that is the most terrifying experience I had encountered. To not know what it is that you want or how to get it and so it seems like you are stuck, perhaps that's a sign of someone developing depression.

I have this bad habit of not allowing people to see me cry, so when I would cry I would cry by myself. Sometimes I felt better, but most of the time it did not solve the issue because I ended up crying over the same thing. Opening up is one of my biggest struggles, but once when you start peeling away the layer of insecurity you start to find yourself happier, stronger, and feeling genuinely better. I have mentioned this before, that taking the first step is the hardest but you have to think about yourself at times like these because I don't want to see any of you fall into or be close to falling into depression. Depression is one of the major mental illnesses here in America, and from having a great friend who has to take antidepressants they kind of take over your life. When she takes them, the next half an hour or so she is already feeling drowsy. Do not let a piece of medicine control your emotions, start to take care of yourself emotionally. Cry when you need to cry, do not worry about what others think. Want to scream in a pillow or in the open? Do it. Have something on your chest? Say it. You feel like you're alone or invisible and that people do not give you a chance to prove yourself? I am most certain you are not the only one, because I do feel like that a lot. But you know what I did? I stop caring what other people did because I found out that I am much happier doing something I like rather than be part of some sleazy gossip. I started to focus on myself the same advice my great friend told me, exclude anything you can that causes you stress and take it one day at a time. Give yourself self-worth, stop neglecting yourself just to be part of something that you may not and create your own path. It's just like what my Mom tells me, "When you came out of my womb, how did you come out? Alone, right? Well you have already proven that you could do things on your own without the help of others."

Yes we need help but also pick your people wisely and carefully. In this week I have learned that you have a choice you can have one thing hang over you weighing you down, or you can confront it and be released from it. I am very grateful for my Dad, at my moments of weakness he knows what to do even though he may not have the right words to tell me just having someone to listen and understand my problems is enough for me. He told me whenever I feel alone that I should call him and tell him. That is how you should be too, no one deserves to feel like they are alone. I have learned to let go over the things that have been weighing me down and to lean on others when I feel like I cannot handle something on my own. And if I have something to say, I should just say it because most of the time letting it out is better than keeping it in.

Do not wait until matters get worse, solve them as soon as they come. Do not let any person, situation, or event control you. Be considerate of yourself just the same way you are considerate with others. We are strong, we can overcome the things we may see as "impossible" at the moment, we can be grateful for the experiences that has happened that created the person we are at the moment.

You are special. 

(Don't forget that, love.)

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Goodbyes are the hardest

Today's blogpost is not going to be written in the typical inspirational aspect you are used to reading. It is okay if you skip this post or any posts since you are not obligated to read if you do not wish to do so.

The day marks, August 30th, 2014 at around 9 AM my mom receives a phone call from her sister emotionally distressed. My grandmother had been vomiting and has stopped to breathe. She has no pulse. The ambulance is called. Around 10 AM, my mom receives a phone call, her mom did not make it. An abundance of tears and a destroyed daughter starts to cry on the phone as she hears the news. No one ever wants to see their own mother lose their mother that gave life to them and lose her self control as clutched onto her phone. The image of my strong mother, crumbled before my eyes and just like that I crumbled. My foundation ruptured into pieces and I ran away to cry on my own. As to this day I keep having flashbacks of receiving the news. Heaven has gained another angel that day.

No one knows how someone has impacted their life, until the day they leave. Until that moment when they have to say goodbye. As my grandmother was getting older, her health was not the best. Though you still have that hint of hope that she will get better and be able to do the things she used to do. When she begin to forget things, whenever she would call she would always answer "Soly!" (my Mom's nickname) and talk as if nothing happened. Whenever she complained over an ache, I would feel bad but at the same time I was happy that she was talking and be actually to feel something. Although I would not talk to her, she would always ask for me and how I was doing. She was such an amazing, caring, spectacular lady who overcame so much over the years with the death of her husband back in 2008, the numerous hospital trips and still managed to smile or at least give me a smile. She would care about other people such as the time when I was little and I was sleeping next to her and I was about to get out of bed but she told to sleep more. Giving extra blankets so I wouldn't be cold. She even left me her towel when she came to visit, and to this day it still reminds me of her.

It has honestly been hard. At school I have to put on a face and try to forget or at least not think about what happened to just get through the day. But how can you push that aside? How can you move on when a piece of you is not even with you anymore? Only today writing this, I am realizing that she really has left. It's so hard to believe that her funeral was just yesterday because when I went to go visit her in March she was just doing fine. Taking her medicine like she was supposed to and complaining about watching TV all day and laughing whenever a funny movie would be on. Her amount of complaints to the cats and dogs that would nonchalantly in the house as they lived there. I saw her on her death bed as she was beautiful, with white orchids on the casket and herself was holding white orchids. Outside of her house they would grow.

It would of been nice to have gone to the funeral and support my mom just the way she would of done with me. I wore black for that reason yesterday to show my condolences to her and know that we may be across the ocean, but family will always be family. I really hope that my family issues at this point sort out, it's ridiculous honestly. Siblings shouldn't be arguing or saying rude things to one another. They may think I do not know what is going on, but I do. I am no longer that gullible child that can be lied to. It is probably my wish, and my grandma's wish that they would find a way to forgive each other and find a place in their heart to love each other. It may be hard to ask, but now is when we need each other the most.

I am writing this to find my closure in my relationship with my grandmother. I never had problems with her nor have we ever upset each other. Maybe because I did not see her as much as my other family but we would always end on good terms. "Bendicion, Mama." "Dios de cuide." and that's how our conversations ended. Whenever I got the chance to, I would tell her how much I loved her because you honestly don't know when is the last time you will have the chance to say it. I thank God for having known her for the 17 years of my life and teaching me not to care about what others think. Though I think that was something that weakened her because she did care what was going on within her family.You can only be so strong until you reach your breaking point.

I really miss her. But at least when I saw her on her deathbed she had finally found that peace she has been looking for. She was just looking in the wrong place. Now she is with my grandfather reunited once again and feeling more stronger than ever. I know that she is looking after me from above only her voice is now in my heart.

Descanse en paz, Maria De La Cruz Gonzalez Feliciano. Siempre te voy amar, viejita preciosa.
5-18-1940 - 8-30-2014


Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Nothing but clever thoughts

I have constantly been asking myself for the reasons behind the behaviors of others, most importantly my peers (alright, my acquaintances) and is like the pile of disappointments are outweighing the positives.

It is sad that some students do no understand that our teachers are as human as we are, or in fact more human than we are for actually being able to make a living through their own teachings. People forget that teachers go through regular stress and drama of their own and because they are not asked it does not mean that it is not occurring. Not many give their teachers a chance and instead they come up with assumptions for one independent event. Such as when I work in my school's office, it is about a regular that a student will complain that their counselor is never there when they come to see them. Excuse me, but a counselor has emergencies too, a counselor needs to nourish themselves during lunch time, a counselor gets sick too because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO! Amazing, right? They have blood and flesh just like us, it's remarkable. Honestly, if something is going to be said it should have evidence to actually back up what is going to be said. Some people complain about their counselor not being there and they only went twice. Besides instead of complaining (which could of been time used to do something productive) come during another time or email them. Whatever it is but people have to stop expecting that the world does not revolve around them.

Something happened today in my short day of class today, and it was that my classmates was laughing at their teacher who were stating her opinions and the fact the plagiarism is indeed something that should be avoided especially in IB where if a sentence is copied, that document will be immediately be voided ruining the chance of receiving the IB diploma. I do not understand what is so hilarious about a teacher looking out for her students, in fact she has every right to be scolding the students for previous copying that has been occurring. It is understandable that she is speaking to her whole IB class of this situation occurring and that to some students it should not be a problem but it is as if people are taking IB seriously. I cannot say that last year IB class were more structured and motivated to reach the highest potential they could possibly reach but from the look of my class it is the opposite. Students believe that they can get away with anything such as copying and not have the teachers notice, but when something stinks it is quite hard to not notice the smell. I am truly appreciated through the amount of time, work, and patience these teachers has given us because it is for them that I feel confident to continue this program knowing that if I do what they tell me to do, it is for my future benefit. Teachers are people too, with emotions and sometimes they do feel insecure but the magic of actually socializing with them and getting to know them you will soon realize how hilarious they are and what similar interests that are shared.

It is quite annoying that I come up with the cleverest things to say after my opportunity to actually say it. This is something I want to work on, I am tired of being the bystander who hears everything and does not do anything about it. I have a voice, I should use it even if it means getting judgments from certain people or group of people.

(Just because you casually speak to your teachers/counselors, it does not make you their pet. It means you're mature enough to see that the differences are actually similarities.)

Has there been a time when you just want to slap some sense into people?

xx Chavelita

Thursday, August 21, 2014

You're so short

The first week of school I may have mentioned before that I was bullied for my height (something I have absolutely no control over) and instead of just keeping it to themselves they decide to compare heights with me like if I did not notice what they were doing. I want to address that my small size is only the outer part that I cannot hide about myself, and what people do is automatically create assumptions that because I am short they have every right to treat me like a child. Excuse me while I go grab a stool to slap sense into those people. I did not choose to be short as I told my best friend, neither did I choose to be a target. I already have to live with the fact that my doctor said that I am done with growing, that going shoe shopping becomes a chore because I have the smallest feet you can imagine and the tiniest wrists that every bracelet I wear slips right off which is why I do not wear or buy any.

Just because I have to look up most of the time to see people in the eye, it does not mean that I am looking up to you while in fact I only look up because I prefer to see a face than a crotch (and it is more respectable to give someone eye contact when you are speaking with them). Let just say that I am considerate to see faces or if not I would just look at the floor or the person's stomach. Something that agitates me the most is that people who I have no history with begin to speak in this idiotic ignorant tone of voice. I should just speak the same way back and instead throw sarcastic comebacks until they realize that I am not "10" because I am tired of those who correlates age with height. I do not correlate attitude with age, so do not correlate my age with my height. Many underestimate the power of what a short person can handle, not all of us who are short need help. If I cannot reach something in my house I will find a way to climb to my destination before I ask someone for help. I have climbed multiple countertops, pantries and closets you can say that I am pretty certified to handle the unreachable. 

As to this day I still have people ask me bluntly without even knowing my first name, "Why are you so short?" and sometimes I want to say "have you learned anything in Biology or were you too busy having your head up somewhere that doesn't shine?" Of course I am the implosive type of person so I would not say something like that out loud, but why do people ask such obvious questions is beyond ridiculous. I will teach you if you want. Everyone has genes in definition are molecular unit of hereditary of a living organism. Think of them as the instructions in the creation of a human. When a male and a female reproduce to have their children genes from both parents are mixed together to produce the new traits of the child. (Punnet squares are very lovely to paint the picture of the possibilities of their child and what traits they are likely to gain). I like to see myself as Gregor Mendel's pea plant experiment as the shortest pea plant that grew out of the other three plants. Family history plays a huge role of how I inherited my short height because my Dad's mother did not even reach 5 feet just like me though his father was a tall man. My Mom on the other hand her mother was about average height as so her father but being short did run in her family too. It just so happens that I was short because all of these factors affecting my genes. Now you know that before you ask obvious questions, maybe you should open up a Biology book and educate yourself on the human body. 

Height is nothing that should define you of the person you are. There will be ignorant people I have learned that will just want to upset you and just remember that they are not worth your time. Give them a sarcastic comment that either leaves them confuse or staring back at you with disgust. Either way they will stop to bother you. Do not let people take advantage of those sensitive emotions you have. One of the funny comebacks I like to say is, "I am glad you have a good pair of eyes to notice the obvious, congratulations!" 

Hopefully I have taught some of you something. Do not to be that person who states the obvious please I might as well walk around with a piece of paper in front of me with "STOP. THINK. SPEAK." 

How do you tolerate ignorant people?

xx Chavelita 

Monday, August 18, 2014

The Love Language

In my views of showing my affection, I do not really flaunt it instead it is quite silent. I am not the type that will profoundly shout from the top of my lungs who I love instead I write them handmade notes, letters, messages explaining how much I love them and how they impacted my life for the better. I just never thought a relationship with someone should be put on blast as long as you are able to tell them or demonstrate the affection you have for them it should be enough. In that case, when I do find myself loving someone they probably would not even notice since I sense that silent love is not that common at least where I live. Perhaps it is a timid trait that I have in which I have not grown out of or may never will.

My Dad was reading The 5 Love Language (which for those who are about to tell me I know I am not married but in the future I would want to read it) and he told me that there was five different languages to profess love to one another. You can show love using your words, serving others, receiving gifts, spending quality time, or through a physical touch. It makes sense now, love is more than just an emotion to describe affection for something, some place or someone but more of how one may define it. I would have to say my love language would be physical touch and I know that I feel weird being given hugs but it is just that warmth and security that comforts me. Each person has their own love language which is pretty intriguing because I never saw love that way before.

Love is pretty tricky though, it takes patience, compatibility, communication, and time. Knock on wood, but I have only been affected through one divorce in my life time (and no it wasn't my parents, they're still happily married). It saddens to see that a marriage could end so sudden and it worries me how sudden things can change between a relationship. Though for certain I know, they probably did not know each other well enough if they are already starting to have doubts as to where they stand in their relationship. Doubt and jealousy is a mixture that you do not want to see together. Doubt has a way of manipulating the mind causing it to jump into possible nonexistent conclusions ruining a good relationship. To avoid doubt, I guess it is to be faithful and honest with one another. Tell the truth even if it will hurt but please do not make your partner overthink especially when there is nothing to think of. That is one thing that destroys someone from the inside out and affects the people around them.

Revenge should not be a choice or an answer for closure. Be the smarter person and leave them. If they do not know how to treat a person well, what makes you think they will change? Never, no matter how many times they tell you sorry or tell you take me back, go back to the person that once abused you physically or and mentally. They are the ones who are mentally ill and needs help with whatever it is that they are currently going through. Sadly, people change even the ones you may have thought you had known backwards and forwards. Find the courage you need to overcome them and close that chapter as soon as you can. It still gives me shivers that some people will still go back after being mistreated, I am most certain that someone better will treat you righteously the way you deserve.

What is the love language you prefer?

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Cafeteria Duty

This week as I was waiting in the lunch line, a quick memory came up to me and I thought I should share it.

I was in 6th grade and still in elementary school. Since the school systems in Hawaii are a bit different they still consider 6th grade as a lower level. Well each day two students are chosen to do cafeteria day in which those students take the morning off from classes and go help the cafeteria staff serve the food. This was something completely new to me, my first thought was how are they going to allow kids serve food for four hours straight? Just one time I was chosen to do this job. It was 8 o'clock and I headed to the cafeteria like I was supposed to. I'm not certain if I went alone or I had another classmate go with me but when I got there a pile of plastic aprons and rubber gloves was already waiting for me. You can imagine how those gloves fitted me, to paint you a picture I had to roll the end of my gloves and fold my apron in half. It's like one size is a lie to me because sometimes they're also too big on me. The plus side was that I was eating for free today since I'll be working and having lunch for breakfast couldn't make me any more happier. Surprisingly the cooks spoke Spanish. Yes Spanish, a place where you don't hear it as much which I felt pretty exclusive to be able to understand their conversations. Since not many people speak Spanish in Hawaii, it was nice to use it as this special code to communicate with the my parents in front of my friends who didn't know Spanish. The job I was placed to do was passing the plates to the cook which was okay for me, I didn't like to be in charge of large tasks back then because I lacked confidence and wasn't sure if I was able to handle it. The next thing I am about to say is the truth. When I was on break a car was parked in front the school. Since it's a outdoor school, the hallways are basically outside. But at the moment of break Madison Pettis was walking to her car with her body guards. I was only able to see her curly hair. Now to think about it this is probably the closest I have been to a well known person. I almost missed it too, I can be oblivious at times when it comes to crowded activities and random screaming from classrooms. The rest of day was pretty much routine and at the end of the work day I was fed leftovers which was a bonus. 

I think it would be safe to say that I do understand the tedious, repetitive work the cafeteria staff is put through. Organizing the food. Preparing the food. Serving the food. Then cleaning up. I've been in their shoes and just after that day all I wanted to do was sleep. Next time you see a cafeteria staff member tell them thank you, be kind to them for feeding you and actually taking the time to prepare the food you're about to eat. It's the tiniest gestures that could affect a person and it could actually make them feel that their effort was sufficient.

What is a random memory you remember from school?

(Hopefully she doesn't mind... heh) 6th Grade Graduation
xx Chavelita

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Side 2

Hmm, I'm not sure I have told you that I am a military kid (probably briefly in a earlier post). Yes, my father has been serving the Army before I was even born and still is serving the country today. Today I thought I would give you a glimpse as what it is to be a military kid.

The detachment.
The total amount of times my Dad has been deployed would be 3 times, at least those I remember and has affected me. I remember the first time when I was small maybe 4, and he was leaving to go to South Korea (of course at that time I was not sure where he was going). When we got there he was saying goodbye and I wanted to go with him but since I was still in my car seat I did not know how to take off the seat belt. He closed the car door and left, with my little self trying to open the car door. Next thing I remember I was crying and watching him take closer steps to the building. The other two times where they are the same honestly, when he left to Iraq I cried numerous times before he actually left the same when he left to Kuwait the previous year. I am always telling myself that I have to be strong and that the sooner he leaves the earlier he gets back.

Single parent. Hands down, I would have to say that my Mom is the strongest person I have met. Full of character and not once have I found her crying when my Dad leaves (unless she does and I don't see her). I am not sure how she does it, having to temporarily play two roles of mother and father. She has always put my brothers and I first before herself. I sometimes wonder how my Mom was like as a person before she met my Dad. Was she already independent, and confident? Or was she timid and quiet like I am at the moment? Glad she chose to marry my Dad, they're the perfect partners for each other and are able to communicate without actually communicating. I call it the telepathic minds. I think it comes when you know the person backwards and forwards that you can actually read thoughts or actions before they happen. It is weird, but my parents has known each other roughly around 30 to 35 years. Either way, I try to make the transition easier for the both us by not asking for much and helping out when I can.

Moving. You would think that the few times I have moved throughout my childhood, I would learn to socialize and learn to make friends quickly. That was probably the biggest obstacle I had to go over. Saying goodbyes were the worst and then seeing people who look like the friends you have left was heartbreaking. I do not consider myself to have a hometown since the place I was born in I only stayed them until I was one year old and we moved again. Though I am thankful that I had the opportunity to travel, learn new cultures, meet people I would have not thought of knowing. It has taught me not to be ignorant and create assumptions based on the media instead to actually know them for who they are. Such as when I lived in Hawaii, I was introduced to the ukulele. It's like a tiny guitar with only four strings but it creates such a beautiful relaxing tune that for Christmas I had gotten one and over this summer I have been playing. When I used to go to middle school over there, during transition periods some of my classmates would spontaneously just play the ukulele and walk to class. Since it was an outdoor school, the sound would travel around the campus. Spam musibi was another thing I miss, you could go to almost any gas station and buy one. It is basically a piece of cooked spam on rice wrapped in seaweed. It was also made with teriyaki chicken. Such lovely people I met when I lived there, nice to have felt included.

Friends. So far the nationalities I have met include Polynesian, Samoan, Venezuelan, Spanish, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and German. I had a best friend who was Korean and she drew so amazingly that it caused me to pick up drawing myself. I had met her in the 6th grade and we were both wallflowers only I was the first to interact. I began to include her more when others would not give her a chance. I do not regret meeting her, she was the first to take me to eat Pho with her family (I believe it is Vietnamese soup and they give you the meat is a bit raw but you're supposed to dip the meat into the broth to finish its cooking, so good...), first to introduce me into Nutella, and expanded my music vocabulary for introducing to Vocaloid which is Japanese computerized singing robots that sound like humans and through that I picked up some Japanese phrases and we would talk to each other in small verses in Japanese. At church in Hawaii is where I felt included since everyone spoke Spanish there and I honestly felt like I was Puerto Rico. In fact I met a Puerto Rican mother that I grew close to that I still talk to, her stories were profound. Give people chances is something important I have learned, you have to open up if you want to actually settle into the location you were stationed in. And who knows, you may see them again.

Being a military kid has their pros and cons, but I have learned to make the best out of each situation. Like go to the top of Moana Loa the tallest mountain in the Big Island where you have to look down to see the clouds or run a 5K for a fundraiser in Texas. I have heard a lot of times that military kids grow up faster than normal kids but I do not think it's necessarily true. Everyone grows up by the amount of experiences and stories they have encountered throughout their childhood that develop them to become the person they are today. But I do believe it makes us grow up differently among the rest. Obviously there is more, but this the glimpse of the military kid life. In person I do not mention that I am a military kid because it either not brought up or I do not bring it up. It's not something I like to talk about but it is a part of who I am and I cannot ignore it.

How has the military impacted your life?

xx Chavelita

Saturday, August 9, 2014

What they don't tell you about happiness

There are moments in my life where I tell myself, "I must be so damn lucky to have come across this person in my life". It takes me back to when I first met them and how at that moment I did not think we would be conquering obstacles together. These thoughts just comes out at random waves and today just happened to be one of those days.

Sometimes we forget to take into consideration of the tiny gestures that come to us because we are expecting a big change at one given moment. In reality, we are not realizing that those small gestures is what making that big change in our lives. Extravagant items is something nice to have, but how long will that sustain your happiness? How is that you define happiness to begin with? Before I thought I had known what was the definition of happiness, to be content with your life and make something out of it. Happiness to me now is to be able to take all the crappy aspects that has happened in my life and turn it around as something of an accomplishment. Remind myself that life throws things at you and you're given the choice to make the best out of it or let it ruin your life. It is not easy, it took me a long time to steer myself into the right direction and to be independent and responsible for my own happiness. The added people who decide to join into my journey is not my main source of happiness, and it shouldn't be because they are temporary. That does not mean that I do not appreciate or love them because I do more than anyone can imagine. It just means that you should not rely your happiness on something that you do not have a control of. This is where people begin to decline. As soon as they meet someone that makes you forget about your problems you may think it is alright but those problems are still going to pile up if you do not do anything about them. People are going to come and go as they please, do not let them take away your happiness too. Happiness is something to be shared with, not given to others and allow them to control. Be your own source of happiness and be like the sun that radiates it to others. This comes back to the people that I met, do not take advantage of them and treat them with respect because they will not be there for long and it is just best to be the one leaving on a good foot ahead of you. First impressions are said to be 7 seconds long before someone gets the idea of what type of person you are so blow them away. Give people the chance to demonstrate themselves before you decide to push them away. 

Treat yourself right, and next thing you'll know everything will begin to fall into place. Nothing should be forced, if it does not fit then maybe it fits somewhere else. Do not limit yourself to the many possibilities you can accomplish in life. This world is awfully big, a little exploring could help you find what it is you are looking for. A new beginning could be a challenge but you will not have anything to compare it to if you stay in the same location that makes you unhappy. 

What is your definition of happiness?

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Social Norms or Stereotypes?

This is quite an unavoidable topic to simply skip and this has been on my mind most of this week to be in fact. As little as we begin to gain a memory capacity in our brains in which we can actually record events and have an ability to recall it for future use, social norms are already impacting us. It is crucial as babies of what we learn that parents may not realize that what they are teaching or the choices they decide to take not only affect them but their child. It could even be the tiniest of things such as the type of toys being bought, to the colors of their clothing.

Social norms is surrounding us and I do not think it is something we can put aside compared to the massive influence it has on certain countries. Speaking apart to my own country which is the United States there are numerous times at school where people will throw out the term, "that's gay" to something feminine. There are two wrongs there, one is that gay is being used as an offensive adjective in this context and two that gay is immediately associated with feminine. (Women are not weak trust me) In addition it is putting down femininity by stating that having feminine qualities automatically makes you the weaker individual. Simple ignorance of terms and phrases is something that I personally cannot tolerate because people are putting down others for things that they may not even be able to change. They probably do not understand the situation or the person to be throwing around words that may not have much meaning to say given individual but have a whole different meaning to the person that is being told. (If you're gay, I apologize for the people who put you down without even giving you a chance to shine. Continue fighting, do not let them win.)

"You scream like a girl." "Man up." "Boys cannot play with dolls, those are for girls." "Oh he's homeless, I wonder what he did to get there..." "Blue for boys, pink for girls." "The man goes to work, while the woman stay at home to take care of the kids."

Soon we learn that social norms can turn into stereotypes or vice versa that manipulate the perspective of the world. Stereotypes are not instincts so it is definitely taught from one human to another, that soon spreads like wildfire. The following examples above on our social norms (the United States) is not all but a few that I have grown up listening to from different people that I have met. At first I did not understand what these phrases and their meaning behind it because I was naive, but now realizing it is quite rude and offensive. Sometimes people do not allow others that chance to prove themselves because of many reasons for example their ethnicity and history behind the way they impacted our country. Such as the Twin Towers incident happening in September of 2001 now everyone who wears a turban are soon questioned or given judgmental looks. I do understand that at the time this event was occurring I was turned away from the media and did not know what was happening but I do know that because of something that happened in the past it should not make us paranoid of what could happen in the future. Yes be careful but do not let an event control your life. In fact, security should of been enforced before something like this had to happen to open our eyes. May those who died rest in peace.

A girl like me are constantly being tested, it is not until now that I am allowed to do more things independently. The reason why I could not was because I was not able to protect myself or take care of myself to be able to walk a few blocks from my house to the school or the library without my parents having a heart attack. I understand that they're concern but ideas like these are lowering my self-confidence. I want to be a girl with good self-confidence and self-esteem and it's like with the media of perverts attacking on girls and defacing them, models defining what is "beauty", and with job opportunities and their tensions it is like an endless test to prove myself that I can do it. Same with guys because they are just affected but the country that I live in it's a male dominant country. Please do not tell me that girls have gotten their right to vote and privileges because of the 19th Amendment and everything is all dandy. I would be content if the pay was equal to men, that I am not expected to always be at home taking care of my child, and for once see a single mom taking care of her child without having to be asked questions of the father and how she's going to support herself and her child. 

I live in a world where no one can win so we decide the path to where we can lose the least amount and still barely make happy. This blogpost is something out of the usual to what I write but I would like to see what your opinion it is to either social norms or stereotypes of your country. By means this was not written to cause arguments or to attack anyone mentioned. I respect your opinions and it is fine to think differently of the things mentioned today. I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings. 

xx Chavelita 

Sunday, August 3, 2014


Manners are something that may seem like the tiniest problem in today's world but when it begins to feel like it is slowly disappearing among the mindset of others that is when I think it is becoming a bigger issue. As simple as showing a sign of gratitude like thanking someone for opening the door for you or saying please before asking your command can all be little things that can improve your relationship with others. To show that small piece of affection with others is a step closer to trusting that individual. There are times when I say excuse me after I burped and people will ask me, "why are you saying excuse me for?" and it makes me wonder if I did something wrong or their caregiver said something wrong for failing to enforce manners. In honest opinion, manners is not a difficult task to accomplish, it consists of a few words to create a phrase that soon leaves a big impact. Perhaps having manners is also a contagious behavior, but in order to be contagious someone has to start it. At times even that is a bit troubling to find in people which is kind of sad. Do not be ashamed if you are the only one displaying your manners to the public, whoever is judging does not know how to deal with their own emotions towards your sharing. It all begins with you, soon this trait begins to multiply within the crowd soon instead of people competing to be the best they will be competing to see who is the nicest. Man would that be something I would love to see.

Ladies, do not expect every man to be opening the door for you. Do not expect a prince charming that will lift you off your feet in the sweetest manner. The world's job is to rotate around the sun, it does not perform any sorts of miracles but it shouldn't mean that you should treat all guys the same. Keep your minds open, eliminate all schematic ideas of every person you meet and develop new perspectives of them. Be the one to start showing your manners to them if you have to, show them what they are missing out. I think it is best to set your expectations to a realistic scale, do not expect too much from people but also do not settle for less. Find your happy medium, and stick with it.

Gentlemen, although social norms has been structured to the point where the guys have to put their partner in front of them such as opening the doors for them or opening the car door for them know that it is your decision. Do not force yourself to do anything that you do not want to do. Treat people with respect, you do not have to shower people with manners though a manner here and there can take you places. Prove people that you can still be kind by following your own rules than following someone else's rules. Be confident in yourself, do not let anyone make you feel less worthy. If you're trying that should at least count for something. Choose your fights wisely.

In the end everyone should be considerate of each other no one is higher than anyone.

Do you think manners are slowing disappearing and why?

xx Chavelita

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Last time I checked...

Today I thought I would talk about relationships since I haven't brought this topic enough. Relationships come in all forms such as sexual orientation, age difference, skin tone, etc. all beautiful in their own way but why is that people expect more when sometimes they're not giving their all? I have encountered some people who may be taken and they're not even grateful for the person who took the time and the courage to speak to given person. Or when the same person ask the who they like but then the spark fades and they go find another source to rekindle what they had. Whatever happened to loving someone for who they are and not switching partners the moment something dulls out? 

I worry about dating nowadays because few people have proven that it is possible to stick with the same person and although they may have conflicts they find a way to solve it. I understand that not all relationships do work out but before you break it off ask yourself why is that you don't want to be part of that person's life because once when you break it off it will never be the same as before. My knowledge of dating is very limited because I have not started dating but from the perspective I'm watching, the numerous tweets I read per day, and the Facebook statuses I just want people to be smart about their relationships. Consider your choices and choose wisely, don't give up so easily if that is the person you love/like. Do not let other people destroy your potential of being with that person or your relationship because of their jealousy, they're just going to have to live with the fact that you two are together. Keep it classy and don't gloat about your relationship with others that does not look very professional either. There are limits too. I find all relationships start off as special because you get the butterfly effect in your stomach just thinking about the person and being with them that everything around you does not matter. It should be kept that way in my opinion, each day you learn something new with the person you are with and you learn things about yourself too. Explore with them, take them on journeys, and enjoy your time together. Do not take advantage of what you have. 

What is something you would like to do when you're with your partner or something you would like to do when you meet them? 

xx Chavelita 

Friday, August 1, 2014

Speaking without words

Please tell me that I am not the only one who does this, but do you get this urge that you want to talk to someone but it is like you have no words or do not know what to tell them? No matter how much you stare at the conversation dead in the eye to your device's screen or stare blankly with this weird smirk on your face like you are keeping a secret, when in reality you are mentally telling yourself to say something? Well let me tell you, does that happen to me a lot on a daily basis and forces me to question my level of sociability... As I had mentioned that speaking is not one of my forte and when I do speak it is like a spill you see of pencil shavings, it is messy and sometimes not cleanable. The sad part is that you simply want to talk to them but your mind goes blank so they may get the idea that you do not want to speak. *sigh* Well this is what I learned to overcome those stumps.

Anything you say is okay, do not overthink it. Alright so maybe all you did over the summer was watch Netflix (yeah... no shame on that one) or stay at home but that means you have had a lot of time to think about things. Come up with ideas that you wonder how other people opinionated the given topic. I have a confession to tell you, I ask questions that I already know the answer to. Though it is only because I want to see how other people would think or react. Perhaps that is a little tip of being open-minded, to include others answers with yours. It can be confusing at times but if you are as curious as I am, that would not matter.

State your question anyway! I am proud to say that I was able to carry a conversation for about a whole class period (roughly around 45 minutes)! You want to know how? I asked questions! I been the person to begin a conversation with "how are you"and that is how I fail to keep the conversation running (though saying how are you is not bad!). When you ask a open ended question though you are allowed to hear the input of your peer and then include your own as well. The beauty of that is that once when the conversation starts rolling on its own the questions become easier to create and it formulates an interesting topic to speak upon. I know mind-blowing, but I think people like it when you ask questions. Perhaps I find it as a efficient way to engage someone and not have to whip out any of your stories from the deep past. At least have your question ready that way when you find the right time to ask the right person you will not be typing and erasing your messages the whole night or not be fiddling with your pencil at your desktop.

Keep it simple. Do not force a conversation that is not going anywhere if it is dead, I think it is best to leave it alone... No one enjoys having to be poke at a dead topic with a stick so keep searching. Simplicity goes a long way, you do not have to learn anything you do not want to in order to keep a conversation with your peer. That is the wonders of people, we all have different interests and because of those is where we gain our own individual spotlight. Maybe take turns speaking about what you love or your dislikes but be considerate of your peers interests, do not forget to let them speak. I know a handful of people that has left doing all the speaking or be the one listening to everything with barely a word escaping my lips.

Just know that it is okay that you may not know what to say. If you are great friends with the person you are having a trouble communicating with, they would know that it is nothing personal. There are a range of friendships that do not speak everyday but they do care about you. Occasionally they may ask you how you are or just leave them a unadvised questions they will come back to you. Do not start jumping into conclusions, any word that is said by you is something pleasant to hear even it is the tiniest of hellos. When words do not speak, pictures can. A recording of you singing. Sending your favorite song or sharing music with your peers. Communication come in different shapes and forms.  Keep it at it and hopefully that sensation will soon blow over!

Do you know why that stubborn sensation happens?

xx Chavelita

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Bonus: Resilience

Yesterday in class, every Tuesday we have an organization called Olweus (pronounced as oh-vay-es) where they have little inspirational video clips or messages that the whole school during a certain period have to stop their course to teach the students this special lesson. Which I think it superb way to snap students back in reality and give them a dose of sanity. The assignment she had given us was to write an essay on resilience and how you see yourself, if you're resilience and to what. This blogpost I wanted to share with you what I had written:

The difficulty in today's society is the ability to distinguish between the truth and the made up. The key factor in be resilient is based on one's self esteem and just with it, it is constantly being challenged. Whether it is being attacked through interpersonal or intrapersonal relationships, many people around my age (sometimes myself even) doesn't see the other choices rather than to simply accept what is being said.

Though I am not the strongest person out of the bunch and have a bad habit of taking any commentary, good or bad, to heart, at the end of the day the only person you have to prove is yourself. Physically we have to learn to live with ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and evaluate the flaws. Turn them into weapons of success and do not forget the emotionally/mentally person you are because it is just as important to be psychologically healthy.

Pretty cliche but sometimes people have to be reminded of the obvious to take into consideration that maybe that the "obvious" is something important to be reminded of. Changes may not be the easiest or the smoothest of transitions to overcome but once they're made I am certain the view will be better than before. When the sensation that nothing is turning out as planned, that should be an immediate flag that you are going the wrong direction. Which in this case, something needs to change if you want to view different outcomes.

How does this connect to the trait of resilience? I find that what I've mentioned before such as self esteem, physically and mental preparedness, and choices are all the ingredients that are used to make resilience. For myself, I consider myself to be a resilient person who finds herself formulating choices that will be productive in any shape or form. Though resilience is a skill that needs constant checking so it would not crumble all at once, is fine by me. Everything can use a bit of fiddling to find out where you may stand and as my teacher said, "it all gets better with age". (not sure she wants to be mentioned but if you're reading this, I hope it is okay to quote you!)

Through what experiences have you been resilient to?

xx Chavelita 


Well my first day of school was yesterday and by the look of the lack of the blogpost yesterday it was one hell of a day. First days of school are the worst for me everything was turned upside down or inside out (whichever you prefer) and I did not enjoy it. Bright side was to be able to see my friends but even then that is limited. The classes that I have are not quite what I thought it would be, some of my favorite classes are no longer my favorite because of the switching of teachers or the switch of the students. Changes are hard, I understand that they are supposed to be because it measures your ability to spring back into the right direction or a new direction but I am honestly worried about this year. This is not very positive blogpost but I am not going to apologize for how I feel because I am too human, we are all a little broken. Sometimes we feel weak and we have reached those moments where you are just trying to place all the positives together to out balance the negatives.

The reason why transitions are hard for me because I am so accustomed to how my life was last school year and growing close to my classmates that now being placed in a group of people I barely speak to, its like all the odds are against me. To be a child of a military father, it was something you were either ready or not there was no choices if you wanted to leave. And here I am, still not used to it. Total survival of the fittest and as much as I prefer to be on my own, I know I cannot always be and being with a group of unfamiliar people makes the situation seem sketchy for me. When students who do not take their work as serious are placed in the same group as me, it makes me upset because I know where they all lead to: me doing all the work. I am no one's guinea pig, I am a leader and if people are not going to follow or at least cooperate than why should I cooperate with them? I'm just already stressed and I know I shouldn't be because it's barely the second day of school. I am trying to pull through, make the best out of my senior year, and complete all the work that comes at me.

The title of this blogpost is expectations. At any given moment there will be times where we are tossed the unexpected and have to learn to deal with them. Just because something was decent or great the year before, it does not always determine where you will be the next year. What you may have experienced the first time will not have the same effect as it does the second time. People change, situations change, and to cope with them has its own story. Though it is possible to overcome these obstacles, when you feel your weakest is when your window of opportunity comes to become a stronger person than you already are. I just have to reshape my comfort zone again and take my best friend's advice and open up more to people. Not on a personal level but as an acquaintance or at least to the point where I do not feel as lonely or a stranger when I do not have my support system with me.

As I mentioned before school has started for me which means that I will be posting less. I have decided that I should post at least three times in a week maybe the weekend with the addition of Wednesday? Depends on how much will be on my plate according to my schedule.

How do you recall your first day of school?

xx Chavelita

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Strong or stronger?

Hi everyone one, I apologize for not posting yesterday but today I was speaking to a great friend of mine and the topic of being a strong person came up. 

First of all, everyone may have problems whether they're the size of the Himalayas or as a tiny as a grain of sand, since when was asking for help a sign of weakness? Which in fact I think of as the first step of recovery, the realization that you cannot manage and need someone else because you recognize your problem whether than pushing it aside until another problem comes along and stacks on top. There is only so many problems we can stack up until the volcano erupts hurting everyone in sight. Though the beauty of an eruption is that you create new beautiful things. The truth comes up burns the surface and your new beginning gives fruit. Solving your problems opens a new window of opportunity and uplifts your mind from the fog. 

Secondly, strength is measured through the experiences you have gone through, which all of you have gone through a few. Congratulations, you're strong so stop underestimating yourself and grab the help you need or find the conclusion to your issue yourself and prove that you can overcome that obstacle. Please stop hiding the fact that you may be tearing apart inside, there is always someone out there who is willing to listen to you and although they made not give you the proper advice just know that you're not alone. Think of that support system I've mentioned a few days ago and build yourself up from there. 

Lastly, starting something new is always the greatest struggle but as the days go by what may seem so difficult a few days ago, is now somewhat bearable. Be patient, like I told my friend everything happens for a reason and instead of searching for that answer that you stubbornly try to solve, try to find a way to the answer. Answers come through experience, so eventually that experience will come along and you'll find the answer you've been looking for. It is okay to not know something, that's the lovely thing about learning. (Honestly the more you know, the more you question...) Do not just sit there and think of the millions of possibilities, you will only overwhelm yourself and not get anywhere. Turn the page of your story, accept the things you can't change and continue moving forward with the things you can change. 

I don't want to see anyone struggling alone, I hope this helps. 
Reminder, take care of yourself before you can take care of others. 

What is a obstacle in your life that you overcame and how did you feel afterwards?

xx Chavelita 

Thursday, July 24, 2014


There are just days where I simply want to unplug from everything, turn off my cellphone service, disconnect my laptop from the wifi hotspot, and go outside. I know shocker, Isabel a hermit crab in her own house going outside for a little R & R with nature. Can she handle it? Of course. And it's probably a good way to reset your system (the more alone you are without the distraction of others, the better in my opinion) It's not because I'm upset at the world that I feel like disconnecting but sometimes it is too overwhelming for me to handle that I need to step back from all this advancement, hit pause, and breathe. I begin to stress over things that are not even pertaining to me and I don't need any unneeded stress and you shouldn't either. There are days I reminisce when the only things I had to worry about was that I if I'm wearing my clothes correctly, being on time to watch Drake & Josh, and to find a friend on my street that will come play Polly Pockets with me in the open garage. Technology is becoming an addiction to us and I'm concerned as to what will come next. It's like I'm running but I'm not able to catch up because the finish line is always extending itself. There are days where I ask myself why do I own a phone if all it does is live in my pocket silently. If there was other ways of contacting my mother without my cellphone, I'd probably not own a phone in the first place because that was my main concern. I wish there was more parks around where I live maybe then will people come out to enjoy the sun and the swings. I sense this is more of a thought than a an advice today but don't forget that there is more to what is on a glass screen. If needed take a friend with you and go on a mini adventure. Create new memories without the need of technology, think of them as little secrets for your own keepsakes. 

Anything you miss before technology took over?

xx Chavelita