Day 30: The haircut

If you have not noticed yet, this recent May I went to the beauty salon and cut more than half of my hair off. I have been planning on cutting it short for a while now and especially with the intention of donating the hair to a charity that makes wigs, I just knew that I wanted to go short. Since I have been in middle school and high school, having long hair was the total trend. The majority of the girls would grow it out long and get trims within the year, and do not get me wrong I was the same way. It was like the girl code of goals to follow when it came to hair. The idea that long hair was pretty and short hair was underappreciated floated around the halls of my school. You just did not hear often of girls getting short hair cuts. As soon as I graduated from high school, I had went to the local salon to cut my hair because I could no longer stand the struggle of keeping up with hair that reached to my hip bone. I remember pulling my hair all the time especially when I would get out of bed, my hair would get stuck to my seat sometimes, my hair would brush my arm and I would swat at my arm thinking it was a bug, and washing it was just a nightmare! Without wanting to be wasteful, I decided to keep the hair that I had gotten snipped off so I can send it to an organization that would use my hair to make wigs with other strands of hair. Just like I had captioned on my revealing photo, I had fun with my long hair and I hope that someone else has the same fun as I did.

My first hair donation was in 2015 and now with my most recent cut in 2016, I decided to go shorter. I wanted to test out how I would look with short hair and if my haircut decided to go terribly wrong I would just have to remind myself that hair grows back. Since I am one blind chick without my glasses, during the cutting process I had no idea how my haircut was turning out. All I remember is my hair stylist using razor to cut a big chunk of my hair that I was donating and using a razor to make sure she was cutting the hair evenly. I was okay with the scissors but the razor just brought me to a whole level of stress because she would continue cutting with razor, that I was fearing that she was going to shave a side of my head. Now that I would not have the words to describe how I feel. Thankfully that was not the case. I have been very impressed with the turnout actually. Before she started to cut my hair I had shown her what kind of hair cut/hairstyle I was aiming for on my phone and even though I briefly showed it to her, she immediately had an idea of what she was going to do.

In all my haircuts, I have been known to sit there in silence. I am more of that person that would rather overhear other people conversations than to make small talk with someone that I was going to spend at most half an hour with. There is just something soothing about getting your hair cut though, the hair wash, the head massage, that liberating feeling you get when you cut a big portion of your hair that you have been so used to carrying the weight with you everyday. You end up feeling like a new person when you leave the salon. You know sometimes you just have to take risks when it comes to haircuts and see where the new look takes you. In the future I want to see if I have enough confidence to cut my hair even shorter and see if I can pull of that look. As of now, I am loving my short hair! So much easier to handle and care for. Since my hair is naturally straight after I wash my hair it's like a sleek piece of silk framing my face. I barely use my straightener anymore and I rather prefer not. Rather enjoy the all natural look and let my hair be free!

How short have you cut your hair before?

June 2015

May 2016

xx Chavelita

Day 25: Research Interviews

To be a research assistant was never on my to-do list nor did I know that being a research assistant was a thing until I had received an email from my psychology adviser that there was positions open. My initial reason to become a research assistant was to step out of my comfort zone. I knew I wanted college to be different than how I spent my years in high school and I wanted to make sure that in college I was getting the best experience possible as an undergraduate. So when I sat down with the application open to apply for my first research assistant position, I had no idea what I was getting myself into and yeah I was stressing out as I would normally but from the back of my mind I knew if I did not follow through this opportunity I was going to be regretting and wondering what would of happened if I only submitted my application. I also never thought about how I would feel if my application got rejected so I came in with such high hopes for a new beginning. A few days passed since I had submitted my application and one of the graduate students emails me back an email introducing himself to me and how my application stood out especially for that fact that I was a freshman without even stepping into college yet. A part of myself was making sure that this was actually happening and the other half was kind of anxious and curious about what would happen next. Within the first few weeks that classes has started I scheduled my interview appointment to go meet up with the person who had given me feedback on my application. Which to this day I still find weird that I had the ability to schedule when I wanted my interview and at what time...

The psychology research labs at my university are located in the basement of the psychology building and walking downstairs for the first time to the basement was pretty creepy and unexpected. You have to open a door to get access to the stairs and even then the stairs were dimly lit, one wrong step and who knows where would I end up. There are still times where I will miss a step and nearly fall down those stairs, so knock on wood that my day does not come. In the basement of the psychology building though the lights were bright and if anything all you can hear is the hum of the furnace. The rooms down in the basement for the majority time are closed and are only open if someone were running labs or waiting for their participant to come participate in their study. Well I sat down outside of the room where my interview was going to be held at and I kind of just stalled. I knew that I was early and I felt like my anxiety was kicking in because my thoughts would be on loop. "Ok... in ten minutes I will get up and knock on the door" "Alright in five minutes..." "In a minute..." until I had to actually knock on the door, I would just think about at what time I would knock on the door. With enough time to be considered early and on time, I gave a loud knock. 

The interview process was oddly really casual. There was even laughing and side stories included like how statistics just gets more and more alphabet as the content advances. I sat down in the adjacent seat by him and we just spoke. The only technical thing that I was asked to do is to get certified as a research assistant by doing the online trainings that were found on the university's website and on the National Institute of Health website. I was expecting like a proper eye to eye, seat table seat, interview. I remember what I had worn that day, I had ironed my sleeveless white shirt with crosses and had on tight khaki jeans. And as usual with my potato sack Toms to complete the outfit. I do not remember if I had a resume on me at the time because I had just gotten out of high school so I did not know how to make a college resume if I did not have any experience to write about. Even with that, I was given the position. Except what I have come to realize that so far all of the research assistant positions that I have applied and been interviewed for, I was never told a direct answer that I was accepted as their research assistant. I had to assume that I was accepted when my interviewers started talking about how they should contact me and when they would ask about my schedule details. 

On my second interview, the interview went even more casually because I had already known my interviewer since she was the teacher (or is it teaching?) assistant to my former Statistics class and she would teach our class on Fridays in the afternoon. In the first weeks that I have started college, I was concerned about my future and I already know what you are going to tell me that I am still too young to be concern about my future but that is what anxiety does to you. Makes you worry more than you should and the only way I was going to stop worrying is if I handled my concern. I did not know my Statistics TA that well but my first impression of her was that she was funny, awkward, and friendly. I knew that that was enough for me to put my trust in her that she would help me out with my situation. I wrote a thorough email explaining about graduate school and research. Soon throughout the week that I had emailed her, she replied back with such warm words. For someone who did not know me she sure accepted me pretty quick and offered her assistance to me. Half through my first semester of college, she emails our class about how she was looking for research assistants to come help her out in her research lab. I remember her mentioning in an email or in person that she was waiting for a response for me since I have been interested in doing research. Well on the day of my interview I sit down and we talk like it was just another day. And again she starts asking for my schedule without even telling me directly that I was accepted as her new research assistant. I am starting to wonder if this is a trend that happens to interviewers and their interviewees. 

My most recent interview was before I left home for the summer, I had decided to do apply for another position only this time I was not alone. During my tutoring session for Research Methods my Supplemental Instructor mentioned to my lab mate and I that there was an opportunity for us. The opportunity he has been talking with us for a while and it was that we had the chance to create our own study. Maybe we won't run the study but we would be able to learn the process in making a study and what it takes to get one starting. Since both my lab mate and I were first year college students he saw a lot of potential which was really sweet of him to mention when he had given us both good words of acknowledgement to the professor that he was doing research under. On the last week of school I meet up with another graduate student and although I did not know my interviewer personally, I did hear about her and from what I have heard she seems like a good person to get along with. In which she was because the interview went so smoothly, it did not like feel like an interview like my previous interviews. 

Reflecting over my research interviews and how much I have gone through as the lost college student to the less lost college student, I feel super grateful for taking the chances when I could. I had stepped out of my comfort zone and I carried my anxiety on my shoulder to all of my interviews. Even though I was nervous, I put on a smile and went in with a positive outlook. If you get the interviewer to laugh with you, then you should be golden which has been my goal in all of the interviews that I have had this year. Sometimes we forget that our interviewers are just like us, with experience and a upper hand, but they are people too. I know that I have so much to learn but at least I feel comfortable knowing that I have wonderful mentors to guide and support me along the way. I am so excited about what happens next in my research labs!

Update: I am no longer a research assistant for my first interviewer but I am still continuing with my second and third research positions. I have also found a passion for research so in the end I feel like I came out like a winner and soon a paid winner. 

In what field would you like to do research in?

xx Chavelita

Day 22: To the girls who thought being different meant something was wrong

Dear my girl friends who think being different means that there is something wrong,

To think differently or find interest in other materials that others might find odd or disgusting, that is not your problem and there is nothing wrong in appreciating the nonconforming ways of living. You be you. There is nothing more upsetting when someone tells you that you cannot do that or that is not appropriate. What is inappropriate about being yourself? When I was in grade school, I did not like to wear dresses nor was I big fan of Disney princesses. Ask me today and I still cannot name each of the princes in those movies. It just did not matter to me. I would prefer to sit in front of a computer with my brother and play computer games until our parents would tell us to get off. I could of listed you all of the first generation of Pokemon characters from the top of my head. In fact, while being introduced to video games, I have always complained about the main character being a boy. Why can't the girl be the main character? Why couldn't she saved the world from being absorbed by aliens? Or why did the girl have to either look like the damsel in distress or the prostitute by an empty alley? Why couldn't she just be a typical modest looking girl with strong features of her own? I found that to be unfair that because I did not mix well with the other girls and what girls were supposed to find interesting, that I was seen as an outcast. To this day I still feel like an outcast because I rather wear basketball shorts than yoga pants to go workout. Growing up I feel like we are placed in these dainty boxes labeled with the word "princess" and cute frilly laces as decor. Boxes that underestimate our differences and when we do decide to show our differences it is like we broke a this sacred law. If anything, we were breaking the glass ceiling. I think other individuals do not appreciate our differences because they do not know how to react with these differences. But if you know what your differences are and you are content with them then I feel like you are steps in closer to happiness than those who have judged you for not fitting into their ideal view of you. There are no rules or instructions on how to run your life. You win on some days and you win less on other days but everyday you are progressing even when you think you are not. From the numerous amounts of bullying, I have learned to appreciate my differences. On my hard days where I found myself looking for some self-confidence to boost my self-esteem, I would tell myself that because I am different I am going to have to find a different way to give my life value even if that meant separating myself from crowds. While those days of spending alone figuring myself out, the first few days were horrible but then they became one of the best days. I did not have to depend on anyone. If I wanted to go somewhere on my own I could. When you start agreeing with the people who have judged you in the past for being different then what side are you really on? So while some of you may think that being different has its disadvantages I am here to tell you that you are right. There is disadvantages now but the day you start to embrace and appreciate your differences for what they are, they start to become advantages. I believe that this world could use more variety so with your differences, my differences, and everyone else's differences then perhaps being different would be rightfully acknowledged.

What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with any of you.


Stay hopeful and stay different my friends.

xx Chavelita

Day 20: Talking

For as long as I can remember, I have been a quiet and private person. I can probably hold a secret for so long that I eventually forget unless someone brings up something similar to what I know. Not sure if that is a talent or not but it does show that I hold a lot of information within me and if I am not asked about what I know then that information just begins to be stored deeper and deeper into my memory. I have always been the listener among my friends. If I talk it is usually when I have something to say, which is what I am doing right now. And you know what, talking it is not all so bad especially when you have a great listener and responder to hear you out. Sometimes I am like a tea kettle, you can pour water in me and I would remain quiet but once when you add heat that is when you are going to start hearing me. Not that I have to feel heated or upset over something to get me to start talking but if you bring up interesting topics or ask me questions, controversial the better, I can speak for hours. In high school I had history for my last period of the school day and while mostly everyone were just dying to get out and go home I would typically stay behind to have intriguing conversations with my history teachers. Since my history teachers' classrooms were relatively close they would just visit each other in their classrooms for group discussions. The topics could range to the most nonsensical topics like having a salad for breakfast to how can recycling have an effect on the environment. The topics were little to no where close to the history that was being taught during regular class hours.

Where am I really going with this? Well talking is beneficial for mental health. When you feel stressed or when you have no clue what to do with the thoughts in your head, it's pretty nice to have that go-to person to spill all the details to. That go-to person could be as simple as your sibling, parents, friends, and or your therapist. There may be a couple of people who take advantage of talking and that I have found annoying that they would talk too much during school but like Shrek said, "It is better out than in." Use your words, speak out your mind, structure your words to portray your ideas, however you prefer to share your thoughts, go for it! You may have the most brilliant ideas or thoughts screaming to be recognized but if you do not share them then how will that benefit anyone? For those who are not as much as the talkers like myself and who does not like to share a lot of the personal details with others, I just think it takes the right person to open you up. Do not feel like you need to change in order to find someone to talk with. Continue being yourself and whenever you are given opportunities to share what you are passionate about you should. You will also find that friend that you can trust with your thoughts, they may be a little hidden (or maybe in front of you the whole time) at first but usually the hidden ones tend to be the ones with one of the biggest hearts. Or be like me and start your own blog!

Have you spoken to anyone today?

xx Chavelita

Hello!

Is this Isabel? No she disappeared for almost two months... Yeah so turns out that writing every week was a lot harder to do especially when you are a college student who wants to get the right amount of sleep, get good grades, and still be socially involved on campus but obviously I was not thinking clearly. So as a way to forgive for my absence I will let you in all the deets that have been happening in the past two months.

I joined a student organization that I actually take a part of so for those who say that I stay in my room too often well guess what, I'm barely in my room anymore. Joining Mentor Tech Student Organization has probably been the greatest mistakes I have made. Wait mistake? Yes a mistake... You will probably shake your heads at me. Well first of all I was already part of the Mentor Tech program at my university which what they do before anything is that you have to apply but after that you set up your own profile that includes your name all the way to the interests you enjoy to do on your free time. Then after setting up your profile the people in charge of the program will match you with a mentor who shares the same qualities as you. After all the waiting and matching, you are then assigned your mentor and they basically help you out during college which for me I thought was such a wonderful idea especially since I am known to grow really anxious in new settings and where I am not familiar with about 99% of the people here. Coming back to why joining was a mistake is that I was invited to a meeting which I thought it was for the Mentor Tech program but it turns out that what I signed up and paid membership for was for the MENTOR TECH STUDENT ORGANIZATION, now don't ask me why that did not click to me at the time that the names were different but to me I thought I had already joined this organization and that the meetings were mandatory. But nope... Yet this was the greatest mistake I have made because now I do community service just like I would do in high school yet they're better community service projects. For this semester on Fridays I have actually been mentoring high school students at a local high school here and my goodness guys I really love my Fridays because of this. Adopt-A-Class (that's what the program is called) has taught me so much, opened my mind to so many new things, and I am starting to understand more. I will take you on a little history trip because I think it will help you understand why I love teaching my students. Okay so right now, here in Lubbock, Texas, the school district first of all is different from my hometown. In 1979, the Lubbock Independent School District was desegregated. Let that sink in, because even though 1979 was 36 years ago that is still recent for history. And so when you cross I-37 here you can actually see the separation distinctively and I remember for the first time going to the high school, I couldn't stop feeling so ignorant for not realizing that just because a piece of paper was signed to eliminate segregation that doesn't mean that segregation no longer exists. Although the issues may not be seen explicitly, they are there. On that first Friday I can also recall telling my roommate about the segregation and she had no clue what I was talking about or that there was like this invisible line of separation still visible. Just seeing this though kind of made me love Lubbock a little bit more because this is different from anything I have seen and you're probably looking at me like I have lost my marbles, but now I get to see how two cultures can live true to themselves in the same city and that I get to be part of that culture mixture.

Did someone ask about boys? I have no idea how to begin this story. Alright so on Tuesdays I finish class at 12:20 for the day, which is why I love Tuesdays, and so usually I study whenever I can because exams here pop up like weasels and I like to be prepared. So normally the dorm is quiet because most of the people on my floor or either in class or still sleeping but then the CA that lives on the hall adjacent to mine starts knocking on our doors. As I peek my head to see who it was, the CA gives her long schpeel that my Texas Tech was holding A Tunnel of Oppression. In other words, what they did was that they decorated the ballroom like a tunnel where it was dark but enough light to give focal light to the skits that were hold in different sections of the room. I do not know if I told you already but I am really oblivious when someone likes me or find interest in me, you can probably give out big hints to me and I will still not catch on. Anyway after the skits we had to debrief and discuss what we just saw. As I was leaving, barely reaching to the door this tall guy turns around and said his name, complimented me by saying I was pretty, and asked me for my number (in which I gave to him). Then he said he was going to text me later. I kid you not, I couldn't stop laughing that day because I was having one of those moments like in the movie, Beyond the Lights, where Kaz tells Noni that he sees her, like this guy saw me. Not because of my height, but because I was pretty and that boosted my self-esteem and confidence immensely for the whole entire week. I am normally the girl that guys get to know me but only want to remain friends with. Even though our friendship remained short, I will still remember that moment. If the guy finds my blog and reads this, I want to tell you thank you, you definitely know how to make a girl's week.

In the month of October, I want to say that my roommate and I have gotten a lot closer than we were in the beginning of the semester. A part of me thinks it was because this is her birthday month and we have been relying more on each other. Okay, October 21st it was my roommate's birthday and since she was not able to drive back to her hometown I thought why not spend it together, doing the things that she enjoys doing which is doing crafts? After my Statistics class we left to go to different stores, first we went to Plato's Closest. Keep in mind that this is my first time so I was pretty curious to see what I could find. Just as I was getting in line to purchase the two shirts and necklace, a little boy around the age of five asks me, "Are you a kid or a grown up?". In which I thought, where in the fly did this kid get this question and right after that I wonder, well what exactly am I? I am too old to be doing childish things but I also don't feel like a grown up because I do not even know how to file my taxes or understand the whole concept of the stock market. Then he asks me again probably knowing that I was secretly trying to pretend to not hear him, "Are you a kid or a grown up?" Then I finally answered, "Well I am not a kid but I am not an adult either..." and I am just really grateful that his mom was next to me because she intervened and I was able to escape the kid before he started to interrogate me. I thought that was a great way to start the birthday adventure. Afterwards we went to Goodwill to see if we can score a few gems that people no longer wanted. Punching in the direction of the nearest Goodwill we had no idea what we were awaiting for. As we arrive the parking was gated and when I mean parking I want to say it was more like a almost solid with a bit of pot holes of compressed dirt. I looked at my roommate and we kind of just sat there hesitantly in the car debating whether we should leave or overcome our fears and go in. Swallowing that fear, we got out of the car and started heading into the entrance. I will not lie, I thought I was going to get mugged but I was also excited to be stepping out of my comfort zone which motivated me to move quickly to the door. Staying close to my roommate, we searched for room decorations. I left with nothing but my roommate picked out a few frames and a mason jar so as my roommate was paying the lady in front of us was carrying a rug the size of her. Watching her struggle, I decided the least I could do was open the door for her. While she was thanking me for helping her, she comes closer to me and says, "I asked the guy to help me but he said no. What a bitch." with a puzzled look on my face wondering if I heard correctly I nervously started laughing and in which I reply, "WOMAN POWER!" out of all the things I could of said I had to say woman power... This is why guys I shouldn't be placed in these kinds of situations. Though this day ended up being amazing because not only was I introduced to my roommate's other friends but for that day I actually felt a bit more grown up than other days. I was able to make my own decisions, say my own thoughts, and experienced a bit more grown up related topics all without wearing any makeup. College is most likely maturing me both mentally and physically which I am feeling quite bittersweet about.

College gets me so pumped, honestly. Even though I struggle getting out of bed, I do end up having a fulfilling day filled with new experiences and yeah I do get homesick but I seriously feel like college is my path to success. Just to be able to have that reassurance and goal, motivates me to complete more with my life. Making new friends, strengthening my bonds with already made friends, seriously makes a difference in college. Feeling alone is something I experience a lot but my friends whether they know it or not fill up that empty gap and I am forever grateful to meet such lovely, hilarious, caring people. College for sure makes you or breaks you, but if you put your all I am still rooting for you. That college life is not easy, but it's possible even if it takes one sleepless night out of the week to catch up with homework, friends from your hometown, or your blog.

What have you all been up to? I missed you all!

(Me visiting Buddy Holly's with my friends, but that will be another story!)

xx Chavelita

Over the years...

Alright so you know that I am small right? Well over the years a creative assortment of comments have accumulated. Step into my world for a moment. Though I would say walk in my shoes, but they would probably be too small for you anyway. Feel free to laugh at any of these comments they get pretty ridiculous the older I get.

1. Cafeteria lady A: "Aww mija how old are you?" "Oh you look like you are thirteen." *as I hold my school ID*
2. Cafeteria lady B & School Officer: "You go to this school? I have not seen you around school before..." *looks at me from head to toe* (oh and lady we have seen each other before, but it's okay short memory is unavoidable for arrogant people)
3. Teacher: "You are so small, I just want to put you in my pocket!" (I rather we don't share the same pants...)
4. Mom's friend: My mom tells my age to her friend. "Oh I thought she was in elementary school!" (Just because I have small boobs? Miss boobs do not measure maturity..)
5. Same School officer mentioned before: "Hey, hey HEY LITTLE GIRL! *keeps walking knowing that he's talking to me* Hey are you lost, you go to this school? What classes are you taking?" (You would think adults would be any better...)
6. Stranger: "Oh wow, you get your periods too?" (Womanhood hits every woman like a bus it's pretty inevitable, I do not get a special free get out of jail card from puberty just because I'm small) 
7. Junior: "No offense, but like do you need like a special bathroom. Like seeing that you are short, can you reach the counter of the bathroom?" (My goodness even the dwarfs from Snow White would be offended aha, by far the funniest comment I have heard so far!) 
8. Stranger: "Will you even be able to reach the steering wheel or the pedals?" (Sadly stranger that is one of my fears...)
9. Everyone who tries to make me feel better about my height: "At least when you get older, you won't look as old!" (Please just stop there...)
10. Stranger: "Oh sorry I did not see you there" *as they skip me in line*

These are just some of the comments that has stuck with me over the years. There was just one morning where I told myself I am tired of all this nonsense coming from ignorant people putting people with physical or emotional qualities that are not even in their control on a pedistool to be watched by the public. Why can't people just keep their comments to themselves? I bet I can find all the flaws from the following people but that's not what is going to take to change the mindset from these people. Some error has occurred in these following people and I guess I feel sorry for them that my size is intimidating or weird to have to be the discussion at the dinner table. So look, unless you do not have any flaws within yourself think twice before commenting on others. Maybe just maybe you'll notice that you have a heart. Alright I am done being sarcastic but yes my lovely readers you are above any ignorant person you come across and do not ask yourself what is wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. People just don't understand, or have a filtered mind or even a mind to connect their thoughts together. Do not sweat it, you're perfectly fine the way you are. 

What goes through your mind when someone comments on you? 

xx Chavelita 

Money without an owner

Alright, maybe I should just create a side segment to speak about college as I am a senior in high school that is about to go to college in the next couple of months. Yup it still does not feel real that I am going to college... Though my regular day to day advice will still be available for your pleasure.

Ever wonder how in the world you will be paying for college? Or have you come to a point where you decide that you do not want to go to college because you think you cannot afford the expenses for it? Well for starters get that idea out of your head. If you want something in life you should go for it. A lot of the times people will regret not taking the extra step into success and usually this step is only done by you. When there is a vision there is a form of arriving there, so keep going. Today I will be speaking about financial aid maybe that will alleviate some of your stress. Trust me there is money out there just waiting for an owner to claim.

Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA):
Now I am not sure every country has a program similar to to the Free Application for Federal Student Aid or FAFSA but this program is useful for those interested in college. Questions such as, am I applicable or how much money will I be receiving, depends on the amount of income you receive. My advice though is that regardless of the income your parents make or in other cases what you make, you should apply for financial aid. The worst that could happen is that you get nothing in return but you will never know until you actually fill out the application. The drawback about this is that in order to receive this type of financial aid, you must prove that you are a legal United States citizen.

Eligibility:
1. Your ticket to receiving your cut of FAFSA is by obtaining your high school diploma or General Educational Development (GED).
2. You must show evidence that you have enrolled or accepted a college that you will be attending as a regular student who is under a degree program
3. All males between the ages of 18 and 25 must be registered with the Selective Service
4. Must have a legitimate Social Security number
5. Signature on the FAFSA that states you do not owe refunds on the federal grant and the money will be used for educational purposes only
6. Maintain your grades (though this step is probably a no brainer)

Simple right? Here is another tip, if you have not applied for your pin number then go apply for one this instant! That pin number will be needed when you start to fill out your FAFSA. Both you and your parent or guardian will have to apply for a pin number that will be used on the application. The pin number is usually assigned about two to three days from the day you applied. Information that they will ask for is basic information about you (or the parent/guardian if they are filling one out). The neat thing about signing up for a pin number is that you are able to choose the four digits of your choice. Talk about power within your fingertips!

My first thoughts when I saw the amount of money I will have to be paying for to gain a higher education caused me to think twice. Reevaluating my routes of college was a must for me. If you really want to gain that associates, bachelor, or whichever degree plan you are achieving for, you need to be open-minded and take the opportunity to seek financial help in wherever places that is legal and safe. I doubt financial aid will decline when all you want is to create a better future for the world you live in.

Did you fill out your taxes for this year?
(I suggest you do those ASAP! FAFSA needs those income digits from your W-2 forms.)

xx Chavelita

The C word...

College seems to be a topic where some individuals get shy to speak about or something that should be left alone and not spoken about. Some of the reasons that may come to mind is the difficulty of visualizing where the future may take us. Since the future is merely an idea and is not something quite set in stone yet, pretty much anything can go. In circumstances like these we are forced to make decisions and not doing anything about the future is a decision a lot make because we have no clue what to do with the remainder of life. In the beginning of my freshman year in high school I had no plan as to what I wanted to achieve in my life, every time I were to be asked I simply lifted up my shoulders and recited the "I don't know". Some people had a scattered idea but it was better to have something to start with than nothing. Until my junior year in high school is when I had enough. To not be able to give an immediate or a solid answer for me was embarrassing. Here I am a bright kid with a passion for learning and then not to be able to name one college of interest or career to a family member, counselor or friend? I had to change that and by taking little steps into the wild is probably a good way to start.

1. Attend college presentations. 
I understand that there will be times that a college presentation may not be of little to no interest of yours maybe because the college does not sound right or of the location but you should at least take an advantage of what is being offered at your convenience. The college adviser set up and planned this presentation not for themselves but for the students to open up their minds to college. Now I do not know how much time and effort the college advisers place for their students but starting at their title as College Adviser should allow the idea that their main focus is to assist and guide students to a college. To help find a college that the student could be compatible to. These presentations can be broad since they are limited to time but attend a few of these and slowly jut down which ones were eye catching to you then go research or call for more information. A dedicated student are like brownie points for colleges and to see that you have set an effort to gather more information is by far marvelous.

2. Talk to your college adviser or counselor.
Like I touched upon, college advisers or counselors are educators too except they specialize more based on the student. Grades, the counselor know. Test scores, the counselors know. What you had for breakfast, alright so not everything about you but they do know a good chunk of your academic life. You are pretty much out in the nude so what is there to hide? I have a little secret to tell you... they also went to college. THEY ALSO WENT TO COLLEGE! Of course they have been in your shoes, some point in their life they had to apply for college in order to get their job. Bonding with your counselor will make this transition so much easier and less stressful trust me they will keep you in check. Trust your counselor or trust in an educator that will help you strive and break you from your fears of attending college.

3. Be consistent and open minded. 
At some point my oldest brother looked straight into my eyes and told me to apply for colleges. Apply to as many as you want that interest you and the rest will follow through. Do not repeat the mistakes that were committed by my brother where he only applied to one college and crossing his fingers that he will get in. When D-day came, he was declined and was stressing out as to where he would be going to college. The blessing was that a close family friend recommended him to a college that they had graduated from. Now in 2015 he will be graduating with his bachelors in Aerospace Engineering. Besides the point, be open minded but do not get discouraged if you are not accepted to one of your choices. This is why I want all of you to apply to at least five colleges. Just five. Easy, right? If you want to apply to more, be my guest.

4. Financial aid to the rescue!
Depending on the college you have applied to there will be numerous amounts of opportunities to get financial support to assist you in college expenses. By far one of my main reason of college is being able to afford it. Any scholarship that you are eligible for, you should really consider filling it out. There is money everywhere even in places you would doubt. See if they are any chances of being a student worker in your upcoming college that will provide any necessities or money to pay for college. There is also grants available which is basically free money so I would take full advantage of those too.

College at the moment for me is a surreal idea to think about but to be accepted is like confirming that surreal idea. Just know college is worth it so instead of being intimidated by them embrace them with full force. There are people out there to help you out, you just have to find them.

Which colleges have you applied to and what major did you have in mind?

xx Chavelita

Nothing but clever thoughts

I have constantly been asking myself for the reasons behind the behaviors of others, most importantly my peers (alright, my acquaintances) and is like the pile of disappointments are outweighing the positives.

It is sad that some students do no understand that our teachers are as human as we are, or in fact more human than we are for actually being able to make a living through their own teachings. People forget that teachers go through regular stress and drama of their own and because they are not asked it does not mean that it is not occurring. Not many give their teachers a chance and instead they come up with assumptions for one independent event. Such as when I work in my school's office, it is about a regular that a student will complain that their counselor is never there when they come to see them. Excuse me, but a counselor has emergencies too, a counselor needs to nourish themselves during lunch time, a counselor gets sick too because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO! Amazing, right? They have blood and flesh just like us, it's remarkable. Honestly, if something is going to be said it should have evidence to actually back up what is going to be said. Some people complain about their counselor not being there and they only went twice. Besides instead of complaining (which could of been time used to do something productive) come during another time or email them. Whatever it is but people have to stop expecting that the world does not revolve around them.

Something happened today in my short day of class today, and it was that my classmates was laughing at their teacher who were stating her opinions and the fact the plagiarism is indeed something that should be avoided especially in IB where if a sentence is copied, that document will be immediately be voided ruining the chance of receiving the IB diploma. I do not understand what is so hilarious about a teacher looking out for her students, in fact she has every right to be scolding the students for previous copying that has been occurring. It is understandable that she is speaking to her whole IB class of this situation occurring and that to some students it should not be a problem but it is as if people are taking IB seriously. I cannot say that last year IB class were more structured and motivated to reach the highest potential they could possibly reach but from the look of my class it is the opposite. Students believe that they can get away with anything such as copying and not have the teachers notice, but when something stinks it is quite hard to not notice the smell. I am truly appreciated through the amount of time, work, and patience these teachers has given us because it is for them that I feel confident to continue this program knowing that if I do what they tell me to do, it is for my future benefit. Teachers are people too, with emotions and sometimes they do feel insecure but the magic of actually socializing with them and getting to know them you will soon realize how hilarious they are and what similar interests that are shared.

It is quite annoying that I come up with the cleverest things to say after my opportunity to actually say it. This is something I want to work on, I am tired of being the bystander who hears everything and does not do anything about it. I have a voice, I should use it even if it means getting judgments from certain people or group of people.

(Just because you casually speak to your teachers/counselors, it does not make you their pet. It means you're mature enough to see that the differences are actually similarities.)

Has there been a time when you just want to slap some sense into people?

xx Chavelita

Cafeteria Duty

This week as I was waiting in the lunch line, a quick memory came up to me and I thought I should share it.

I was in 6th grade and still in elementary school. Since the school systems in Hawaii are a bit different they still consider 6th grade as a lower level. Well each day two students are chosen to do cafeteria day in which those students take the morning off from classes and go help the cafeteria staff serve the food. This was something completely new to me, my first thought was how are they going to allow kids serve food for four hours straight? Just one time I was chosen to do this job. It was 8 o'clock and I headed to the cafeteria like I was supposed to. I'm not certain if I went alone or I had another classmate go with me but when I got there a pile of plastic aprons and rubber gloves was already waiting for me. You can imagine how those gloves fitted me, to paint you a picture I had to roll the end of my gloves and fold my apron in half. It's like one size is a lie to me because sometimes they're also too big on me. The plus side was that I was eating for free today since I'll be working and having lunch for breakfast couldn't make me any more happier. Surprisingly the cooks spoke Spanish. Yes Spanish, a place where you don't hear it as much which I felt pretty exclusive to be able to understand their conversations. Since not many people speak Spanish in Hawaii, it was nice to use it as this special code to communicate with the my parents in front of my friends who didn't know Spanish. The job I was placed to do was passing the plates to the cook which was okay for me, I didn't like to be in charge of large tasks back then because I lacked confidence and wasn't sure if I was able to handle it. The next thing I am about to say is the truth. When I was on break a car was parked in front the school. Since it's a outdoor school, the hallways are basically outside. But at the moment of break Madison Pettis was walking to her car with her body guards. I was only able to see her curly hair. Now to think about it this is probably the closest I have been to a well known person. I almost missed it too, I can be oblivious at times when it comes to crowded activities and random screaming from classrooms. The rest of day was pretty much routine and at the end of the work day I was fed leftovers which was a bonus. 

I think it would be safe to say that I do understand the tedious, repetitive work the cafeteria staff is put through. Organizing the food. Preparing the food. Serving the food. Then cleaning up. I've been in their shoes and just after that day all I wanted to do was sleep. Next time you see a cafeteria staff member tell them thank you, be kind to them for feeding you and actually taking the time to prepare the food you're about to eat. It's the tiniest gestures that could affect a person and it could actually make them feel that their effort was sufficient.

What is a random memory you remember from school?

(Hopefully she doesn't mind... heh) 6th Grade Graduation

xx Chavelita

Expectations

Well my first day of school was yesterday and by the look of the lack of the blogpost yesterday it was one hell of a day. First days of school are the worst for me everything was turned upside down or inside out (whichever you prefer) and I did not enjoy it. Bright side was to be able to see my friends but even then that is limited. The classes that I have are not quite what I thought it would be, some of my favorite classes are no longer my favorite because of the switching of teachers or the switch of the students. Changes are hard, I understand that they are supposed to be because it measures your ability to spring back into the right direction or a new direction but I am honestly worried about this year. This is not very positive blogpost but I am not going to apologize for how I feel because I am too human, we are all a little broken. Sometimes we feel weak and we have reached those moments where you are just trying to place all the positives together to out balance the negatives.

The reason why transitions are hard for me because I am so accustomed to how my life was last school year and growing close to my classmates that now being placed in a group of people I barely speak to, its like all the odds are against me. To be a child of a military father, it was something you were either ready or not there was no choices if you wanted to leave. And here I am, still not used to it. Total survival of the fittest and as much as I prefer to be on my own, I know I cannot always be and being with a group of unfamiliar people makes the situation seem sketchy for me. When students who do not take their work as serious are placed in the same group as me, it makes me upset because I know where they all lead to: me doing all the work. I am no one's guinea pig, I am a leader and if people are not going to follow or at least cooperate than why should I cooperate with them? I'm just already stressed and I know I shouldn't be because it's barely the second day of school. I am trying to pull through, make the best out of my senior year, and complete all the work that comes at me.

The title of this blogpost is expectations. At any given moment there will be times where we are tossed the unexpected and have to learn to deal with them. Just because something was decent or great the year before, it does not always determine where you will be the next year. What you may have experienced the first time will not have the same effect as it does the second time. People change, situations change, and to cope with them has its own story. Though it is possible to overcome these obstacles, when you feel your weakest is when your window of opportunity comes to become a stronger person than you already are. I just have to reshape my comfort zone again and take my best friend's advice and open up more to people. Not on a personal level but as an acquaintance or at least to the point where I do not feel as lonely or a stranger when I do not have my support system with me.

As I mentioned before school has started for me which means that I will be posting less. I have decided that I should post at least three times in a week maybe the weekend with the addition of Wednesday? Depends on how much will be on my plate according to my schedule.



How do you recall your first day of school?

xx Chavelita