Day 28: From Psychiatrist to Veteran Psychologist

How about that future? While I went to go visit some good friends for the last time before they move out of town, I came across thinking about my future again. Which is not so bad to be thinking about your future, nice to keep those creative juices flowing. Here is how my process of determining my future started. When I was in high school I had gone to Puerto Rico to visit my family and anytime I get to see them is a pleasure. Yet when you do not see family for a long time, they get curious and one of the questions that is never failed to be asked is, "Que vas hacer despues de la escuela?" (What are you going to do after you finish school). At least at that time I had an idea usually I would just shy away and avoid the question as a whole. Well my uncle who is a General Family Doctor asked me that one day I was sitting outside enjoying the sun and breeze. In which I had replied that I wanted to be a psychologist. I was starting to get into psychology because I already knew I wanted to help people in some way and I could picture myself doing that for a good portion of my life. I felt so confident in my answer until my uncle throws in the idea that I should become a psychiatrist instead. This was way before I knew about medicine taking care of the mentally sick so as naive I could be for a fifteen year old I said okay.

Well towards the end of my high school career, I had lost a great friend because of medicine that was used to take care of her emotions. And you know it was not so much how I was treated because of how the medicine changed her behavior but the fact that I was there from the start and saw how the medicine changed her completely from someone I could read from the back of my hand to someone I couldn't find the words to tell her. I am not going to go into much detail but that is when I realized that I cannot go into medicine. I cannot live with myself knowing that if I gave someone medicine to control their mood and they went through the same difficult transition of having their neurotransmitters and or hormones altered, I would probably not be able to forgive myself. Which brings me in to as I went to apply for college. I decided to stay as a psychology major and find another way I can help people without having to handle medicine. I am a strong believer of cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), which is therapy to help shape or mold unhealthy behaviors into better behaviors by implementing problem solving techniques and ways of coping with the situation that the person is going through. I rather sit down with my patient and speak to them but I will not be prescribing medicine, I will refer them to a psychiatrist if needed but that is the most that I will do for them in that case.

Throughout my first year of college I had two fields of psychology in mind to specialize in, Clinical or Counseling. Which these fields are more or less in the same ball park because in Clinical it is more research based on mental illness or like the alterations of function of the mind while Counseling you have more of the hands on experience of diagnosing patients. At least that is what I think, these are not the formal terms but for the sake of this blogpost I'm going to keep it casual. So I have gotten myself involved in research to learn more about the different fields of psychology to see if there was something that I was missing out that I would probably like to consider as I get closer to graduate school. And if my lab mentor is reading this she is going to be happy, but I have found Human Factors psychology to be an interesting field. It was not until I got to college that I found out what Human Factors psychology was and I like to refer to this field as like the engineering of psychology. There is just so many fascinating researches happening at my university in this field and I am constantly hearing about The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and how big of role Human Factors play. Sometimes even I want to fangirl and I am probably the one that is least interested in comparison with my lab mates.

Then I had a conversation with my oldest brother who has already graduated from college about how my classes were going and I do not remember clearly what I had written on Facebook but we got to the topic of Veteran Psychologist. I imagined myself being a Veteran Psychologist and the idea of being one is not bad at all. Growing up as a military kid, I am familiar with veteran hospitals so to picture myself working at one, I do not think it would be a bad idea. I would also be giving back to the veterans and I may also get benefits for working with the government so that would be another thing that I would not have to worry about. I know that I am may be potentially placing myself in a difficult path because of possible stories from these veterans but I am still willing to give it a go. Who knows what I will learn from that experience if I decide to settle with this route in the future.

Overall my love for psychology has only grown in abundance and I am excited about learning more of what other fields of psychology has to offer before having to make my final decision for grad school! I also want to add that you can always change your future, you do not have to settle down with your childhood career or with someone else's idea of who you should be if you do not want to. Figuring out your future is a process that constantly needs work so please do not expect that it is going to come with a snap of a finger or with a rub of a lamp (trust me I tried and it sadly did not work). You take the time your need to plan out what you want to take with this life that we are given. I doubt anyone has their life completely planned out from start to finish so do not be afraid to try new things and to enjoy the ride as you figure out what you want to accomplish and become!

What career do you have in mind?

xx Chavelita

Day 22: To the girls who thought being different meant something was wrong

Dear my girl friends who think being different means that there is something wrong,

To think differently or find interest in other materials that others might find odd or disgusting, that is not your problem and there is nothing wrong in appreciating the nonconforming ways of living. You be you. There is nothing more upsetting when someone tells you that you cannot do that or that is not appropriate. What is inappropriate about being yourself? When I was in grade school, I did not like to wear dresses nor was I big fan of Disney princesses. Ask me today and I still cannot name each of the princes in those movies. It just did not matter to me. I would prefer to sit in front of a computer with my brother and play computer games until our parents would tell us to get off. I could of listed you all of the first generation of Pokemon characters from the top of my head. In fact, while being introduced to video games, I have always complained about the main character being a boy. Why can't the girl be the main character? Why couldn't she saved the world from being absorbed by aliens? Or why did the girl have to either look like the damsel in distress or the prostitute by an empty alley? Why couldn't she just be a typical modest looking girl with strong features of her own? I found that to be unfair that because I did not mix well with the other girls and what girls were supposed to find interesting, that I was seen as an outcast. To this day I still feel like an outcast because I rather wear basketball shorts than yoga pants to go workout. Growing up I feel like we are placed in these dainty boxes labeled with the word "princess" and cute frilly laces as decor. Boxes that underestimate our differences and when we do decide to show our differences it is like we broke a this sacred law. If anything, we were breaking the glass ceiling. I think other individuals do not appreciate our differences because they do not know how to react with these differences. But if you know what your differences are and you are content with them then I feel like you are steps in closer to happiness than those who have judged you for not fitting into their ideal view of you. There are no rules or instructions on how to run your life. You win on some days and you win less on other days but everyday you are progressing even when you think you are not. From the numerous amounts of bullying, I have learned to appreciate my differences. On my hard days where I found myself looking for some self-confidence to boost my self-esteem, I would tell myself that because I am different I am going to have to find a different way to give my life value even if that meant separating myself from crowds. While those days of spending alone figuring myself out, the first few days were horrible but then they became one of the best days. I did not have to depend on anyone. If I wanted to go somewhere on my own I could. When you start agreeing with the people who have judged you in the past for being different then what side are you really on? So while some of you may think that being different has its disadvantages I am here to tell you that you are right. There is disadvantages now but the day you start to embrace and appreciate your differences for what they are, they start to become advantages. I believe that this world could use more variety so with your differences, my differences, and everyone else's differences then perhaps being different would be rightfully acknowledged.

What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with any of you.


Stay hopeful and stay different my friends.

xx Chavelita

Day 7: Shadowing Program Event Success

The Shadowing Program Event was an opportunity given to me with such high responsibilities. I remember I went to a fundraising event for Mentor Tech Student Organization (the organization that I currently do community service with), this was before I became the secretary for the organization. The former president had given me a proposition to be in charge of the The Shadowing Program Event. For a while now I have been hearing about this program but that was all, just a mere idea without any action placed to make it happen, at least not yet. The goal of this event was to bring students from a local high school to the university but with a twist. Normally when people come to a university it is to see the exterior of the university and experience how the atmosphere would be if you do decide to commit to that institution. Important as that is because that is how I fell in love with my university for the first time, visiting, but there was just something missing. Like drinking a glass of lemonade and realizing that more sugar is needed to balance out the sourness. A balance was needed and that is where the program came into play. The Shadowing Program Event in addition brought the element of allowing the high school students to experience the whole college experience, inside and out, by having a mentor to follow along their day including where they may stay and attend classes with them.

This program had me drawn from the start and I knew I had to get my hands on this. If I had this opportunity to get a feel of how college was really going to be during high school, the inside and outs, then I would have definitely signed myself up. With this in mind, I accepted the proposition and I immediately started to get in contact with the high school teacher that was in charge of the students who would be attending, her name was Elizabeth Duran but as her students would call her, Coach Duran or Ms. Duran. I have met Coach Duran for the first time this year and she is just one of those teachers that you instantly find yourself sharing your life story with. Really easy to speak to, easy to get along with, and her passion to teach, no wonder why her students love her to death. It was a real delight to have her as my partner to bring this program to life. For the program we had, Advancement Via Individual Determination or also known as, AVID students attend the university but I hope that if there is a next time, that we branch out to more students who are not just in AVID but who are simply interested in the possibility of living that college life. If anything, I want to be able to provide the maximum support to students who may know or who are still thinking of what they want to do with their future because I know how terrifying things get once when you graduate from high school and you have to think about the next step to take with your life. Even for students who do not consider college as their first step out of high school, I believe they should participant in the program to solidify their decision that college is not right for them. Just like any parent would say, how do you know if you do not like it if you have never tried?

Whenever I can, I like to motivate students to get a higher education. I know after twelve years of going to school where the government forced us to complete, the last thing some would want to do is go to school for another four years, or more, to get a higher education. But seeking a higher education is important! Many situations are changing, social revolutions are happening, technology is advancing, people are pronouncing their identities to the world, to say the least people are starting to speak up whether we are ready or not to listen. What should have been said but was once afraid to share, are being laid out on the table. The twenty-first century is by far as I consider, the resurrection of the lost voices and as us millennials we need to look out for one another. In order to participate, that higher education is needed. The world is becoming a tougher place to obtain a job with just a high school diploma, heck, with a bachelor's degree things are still looking rough. There was this quote that I saw that set things in perspective for me, I cannot recall what the quote said word by word, but basically the quote stated how leaders of the world are those that you went to high school with. Now not as literal as the quote takes it but the leaders can be those who are roughly around the same age group as we are. Mind blowing, right? I still have a hard time believing that even in our teen years going into young adulthood, we can have such a great impact to formulate the kind of world we want to live in. Generation X, the generation before us, are starting to get older and soon enough us millennials are in need to take over. So it's best to be prepared and give this world the hand it needs when our time comes.

I got a little bit carried away, didn't I? Well going back to the Shadowing Program, this event took about a month to coordinate. It was not so much the planning that stressed me out because honestly planning is something I enjoy doing but some of my mentors had dropped out days before the launch of the event. Thankfully some of my mentors were willing to take multiple students with them to class or else I would have to go and look for more mentors with the time I did not have. The day of the event I was so excited, that the same excitement one would have the day before a field trip. I woke up that morning with such purpose that if this event were to go as plan and the students and my mentors took the opportunity seriously, my little heart would be very content. Seeing my mentors and the students come in, it was starting to click, this program is actually happening! Although I was not able to take any students with me to class being able to spectate was good enough for me. I was able to talk to multiple AVID students, share a bit of my stories as a freshman in college and learn a little bit more about the students. Such an ambitious bunch I must say. There was this student in particular that I had spoken with during lunch about how she was upset that she had to compete with this new girl who came into school with her for ranking and it totally reminded of me in high school! Which I found it really interesting that I could share that experience with her and that I am able to meet the future leaders who want to take that extra step.

Overall the Shadowing Program was a success! The event went as plan, the students came back to the Student Union Building excited for college and the mentors grew a quick connection with their students. Contact information were being shared and hugs were given out. Unbelievably amazing! To share this moment is why I enjoy doing volunteer work. The pay is not what I am interested in, it's how I can give to the community and how to benefit others. This day sure went into the books. Thank you Coach Duran for trusting in me to make this happen!

Would the Shadowing Program be something you are interested in participating or wish you participated in?

xx Chavelita

Day 3: The Magic Dust (Short Story)

Every day in the spring there was this little girl in the field sprinkling glitter over the same patches of dirt and for days on, nothing would grow. The old man, who was a farmer that lived next door, would watch her sprinkle glitter every day at the same hour but would act as if he did not see her. Until one rainy day, the little girl did not show up. Concerned that something had happened, the old man went next door to where she lived and found her sitting on her front porch with her head between her knees. The older man, with one foot on the step and his cane holding the remainder of his weight, sat down next to her. In silence, the trickling of the rain filled the void. Instantaneously, the little girl lifted her head to find that the older man was watching the rain droplets hit the ground one after the other.

“Can I ask you a question?” asked the little girl as she swatted a mosquito away.

The old man simply nodded.

“Why don’t you plant corn anymore? Momma would always talk about the days she would play in your corn when she was little and you would yell at her to get out. You even told her that you were going to cut her ear off if you found her!”

The old man let out a chuckle which soon faded into the same straight face he arrived with. Turning towards the little girl, he replied with a question of his own.

“Why is it that every day for the past two months you have been in my garden sprinkling glitter on the same patches of dirt? That dirt has not been able to support life for the last fifteen years. And do not go on and tell me that you have not been in my garden because I can see you from my front porch.”

The little girl as bashful as she can be, cleared her throat and answered straight away.

“For two months, Papa has not been home. Momma told me he left for an important job. I thought Momma would be very happy for Papa but she has been very sad and has been sleeping almost all day since he went. Nana just tells me that she is really tired but that Nana and Momma loves me very much. So I thought sprinkling magic dust in your garden would bring back the corn and it would make Momma happy again.”

The old man was speechless. Magic dust? Perhaps no one has bothered to tell the little girl that glitter and magic dust were not the same, that there was no such thing as magic dust. But the old man kept quiet and allowed the little girl to keep her belief in the magic dust. He had no idea that his corn had brought out more abundance than what he intended to. For the past thirty years, the old man has been living on his own and it was not until fifteen years ago that he fell ill and was not able to take care of the farm on his own. During his recovery, no one attended the farm and the crops one by one withered away. With that being said, the old man no longer had the motivation to continue growing crops even with the help of his sons and grandsons. What remained of his farm were patches of uneven dirt.

“Hey mister! Now it is your turn to answer my question!”

The old man nods and began to speak.

“I guess I just ran out of magic dust. Do you think you can share with me some of your magic dust?”

Just like that the little girl excitedly ran inside her house and pulled out a red wagon filled with assorted containers of glitter labeled in magic marker as “magic dust” and before she headed down the stairs of her front porch, she grabbed a small vile of magic dust and handed it to the old man.

“Sometimes I like to carry a little bit of magic dust around with me just in case.” smiled the little girl. 

...

Everybody needs a little bit of magic dust in their life to keep their sparkle.

xx Chavelita

Day 14: Movies

Now coming into realization most of the films that I have picked are musicals... Ever since I was little I was always inspired by these musicals in some way. it was just something that brought comfort, inspiration, and happiness that a lot of things could be made possible if we were to strive for them. At least that was the concept that I received when watching these films. Of course the movies may have fictional plots that may not be likely to happen, but my young mind did not take that in consideration which is why if I were to ever have a bad day or want some alone time from everyone else I know that I can watch back these movies and for a moment relive my childhood.

Annie (1982) - I remember the first time I watched this movie I was probably in third grade and my teacher would not see the ending because well she thought it was not really kid friendly. Yet that only brought more curiosity into my system which made me want to watch the movie even more. Overall, out of all the times I have watched this movie it never gets old to sing along with Annie, to root her on when she beats up the boys in the beginning of the movie, and to still get anxiety when her horrible caregiver plans to be her parents to win the cash price. I am not apologizing for the spoilers, you guys should have already seen this classic!

 Fame (2009) - Before I get any lip, yes I have seen the first Fame that came out in the year 1980, but this remake had stuck with me more. I felt more movement with this movie and the soundtrack I want to say is blimming amazing... I have always envied Naturi Naughton (the girl who plays Denise in the movie) she has such a strong pair of lungs, I wish I had a voice like hers. Also Kay Panabaker (she plays Jenny in the movie) who also started off a shy girl in the movie with Denise, they both ended up pretty successful and well Jenny ended up with the gorgeous guy Marco (Asher Monroe) who also has a beautiful voice. You know what, this movie just gives me hope in general, lets leave it at that!

 Flashdance (1983) - "She's a maniac, maniac on the floor! And she's dancin' like she's never danced before!" Jennifer Beals is one gorgeous woman who plays the character Alex a day time construction worker and at night she dances at a bar. The qualities of Alex in this movie is what I look up to. A confident woman who is very passionate in dancing and will actually go out there to make her dream come true to become a professional dancer. The fact that she pulls out her bra from under her sweatshirt in front of Nick (Michael Nouri) in one of their first conversations, talk about no hoots being given in that scene! And of course her friendship with her dog.

 Hairspray (2007) - Can we all just take a moment to say how John Travolta (Edna in the movie) was able to stay in character throughout the whole movie without feeling weird during the rather intimate scenes with Wilbur (Christopher Walken) and still be one of the coolest moms? I still remember when I saw the trailer of the movie, I was instantly convinced that I had to go see this. To the point that even when I went to go see it I had this massive headache but I still kept my eyes planted on the screen. I actually have this movie on my i-Pod that shows how much love I have for this movie. This is a movie I can see multiple times and still fan-girl with Tracy (Nikki Blonsky) over Link (Zac Efron) and feel all mighty whenever Queen Latifah sang and gathered people to stop segregation or whenever she was on the screen.

 One Day (2011) - Regardless of what I have been told, this has been the top of my favorite romantic comedies. So yeah maybe Dexter (Jim Sturgess) was... rude (trying to keep it PG here) to Emma (Anne Hathaway), but there was already a part of me that knew they were meant to be together even if it took many years of reuniting on the same day to realize that. The relationship between them was very flawed which is what I loved and no where did I have the urge to cringe of how cheesy the lovey dovey parts were. This movie had kept me at the edge of my seat and I was mesmerized and a bit jealous of how Anne was able to pull off the many wigs she wore in this movie. She even had a wonderful accent... And Steve Sturgess just mmmm... Okay, I am done.

Princess Diaries (2001) - It's not because my dad calls this movie Princess Diarrea (diarrhea in Spanish) which just thinking about it made me just giggle but I actually find this movie to be witty, the right amount of girly attitude that shows that even the awkward girls can kick butt, and even though I grew up with this movie, I can still relate to this movie. When I was younger I was actually embarrassed for liking this movie because it was just one of those Disney movies made for little girls which okay I was a little girl the first time I saw it. Can we just say I had too much pride at the time? Now I don't really care what people think about me liking this movie. Well anyway, Mia (Anne Hathaway) tries to find where she fits in on top of finding out that her grandmother Clarisse (Julie Andrews) is the queen of Genovia which makes her the princess of Genovia. Just give me some popcorn and I will be content to rewatch this movie.

The Heat (2013) - Not sure which character I loved more, Detective Shannon (Melissa McCarthy) or Special Agent Sarah (Sandra Bullock) because both characters shared the spotlight. None of them shadowed one another and who ever had the idea of putting these two actresses together I just want to give you a high five. This movie forever had me laughing and yeah there was deep moments but they were good deep moments. I really enjoyed the balance of this movie and how much the characters of this movie developed with one another. I wouldn't mind watching this movie again, I probably end up laughing hysterically like the first time because there is never too much of Melissa McCarthy.

Identity Thief (2013) - Yeah you guessed it, I just can't have enough of my all time favorite actress Melissa McCarthy, I believe this was the first movie that introduced me into Melissa McCarthy which I will forever thank the movie producers for giving me the opportunity to meet this hilarious, weird, charismatic lady. I still remember the part where Diana (Melissa McCarthy) was riding in the car with Sandy (Jason Bateman) on the way to turn Diana in for stealing his identity and while she attempts to make a run from it, Diana within the first five seconds is already out of breath. Only thing Sandy had to do was walk a few steps and he had caught up with Diana. There is plenty of other hilarious moments but I'll save the blabber for another day.



What are some of your favorite movies?

xx Chavelita

Day 4: The Hall of Women

No one has an idea about how many times I have thought about the women that has transformed my life in some shape or form. I in all honesty was in the car on my way to the dentist and I couldn't stop smiling at how wonderful life was to me for learning so much from such powerful women figures. The media does portray strong women figures and I am moved by those ladies as well but not as much as those who I actually grew up with and gotten to know over the years.  I feel this immense luck that I was able to meet these women that I am going to introduce in this blogpost. Not only are these women strong, inspirational, and loving but these women also remind me that just being yourself is enough and that if you set your mind to something, it is possible to achieve. You have to believe in the odds, struggle with the obstacles, and have faith in oneself that the outcome will work out. Perhaps not exactly as planned but maybe even better!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kara Baker - I have met Ms. Kara unofficially in my brother's parent night (she teaches English, Theory of Knowledge, and is a CAS Coordinator), I was a sophomore at the time and one of the first conversations I had with her we were already talking about books and Theory of Knowledge or at least she was attempting to explain what the class was. Eventually I have come to an understanding what that centered its idea on but that is not even the beginning of the story. Throughout my whole time in the International Baccalaureate program I could say she was my mentor. Senior year was beginning to look like a messy obstacle course but I felt like her classroom was one of my nests. I was able to be myself, no censorship, no faking my happiness when I wasn't feeling my normal bubbly self, having my extended family living in a another location, it was nice to have someone I can talk to about anything and about everything. People like her are rare and I am glad to be able to keep this gem.

Elizabeth Wells - The first time I have met Liz, I was probably in seventh grade and I have never seen such long curls before. I remember when my brother presented you at the house and normally I feel uncomfortable to meet new people less talk to new people. Yet I had this feeling that Liz was special because my brother doesn't fall in love or have crushes. My brother is the type of person that will study until night falls and sleeps if he was lucky enough because he was in the International Baccalaureate program too. (Now I see where my behavior comes from) One of the sweetest, most intelligent and dedicated women that I have come across. She was also in the International Baccalaureate and so she understood my struggles. Liz, makes college life seem like an easy transition and honestly I want to to say is because of how open-minded, nonjudgmental, and risk-taker she is. Constantly trying new things and making the best out of the situation, inspires me to do the same. Gives me hope to know that college is possible and that no matter how big dreams can be that they can become a reality. I am so glad I am able to call you my future Sister In-Law! I have always wanted a sister and now I do.

Mory Santiago Hermina - Oh Mory, this woman I have met in Hawaii when I was probably in seventh grade as well and she has three beautiful girls who share her same charisma. Any conversation I have I am either speechless like speechless without words or laughing my head off. I am inspired in a way that her confidence radiates any room she is in. Nothing can embarrass her because instead of being shameful about her flaws she is well acquainted with her flaws that has molded her into the person she is. Charismatic, hilarious, understanding, I know if I had any worries or urges to speak, Mory is the person to speak to because each story told is as brilliant as the first one told. I feel like you take beauty into a new level and I am glad that through laughter any obstacles encountered become more manageable. Great support from a great woman, what more can I ask for!

Alejandra Santillanes - Ale, I have met her my last year of high school near September or October as she was the college adviser for my school and we bonded faster than a blink of an eye. At first there was some warming up to where we are but as the year progressed, I enjoyed going to my courtesy period just to talk to her. A graduate from UT Austin and still going to school to learn more about Special Education, I am already blown away from her dedication. To live the student life and still go to work, now that must be hard but I also wish for the same when I graduate. You prove others that people can have the best of both worlds as a student and as a worker. In a way I also look up to you because you make me appreciate my petite figure because of course being petite is not going to stop us from shooting the stars even if that means we need to get a extra long ladder to get there!

Jennifer Majchrzak Giza - Ms. Jenn was actually the first teacher (who was my English teacher and CAS coordinator if anyone wonders) I saw my junior year which is the first year as the International Baccalaureate begins. My thoughts were a tie between as to what I have I gotten myself into and how far will I go into this program before I lose my mind. Thankfully I do not share those thoughts anymore because throughout the years I was given a chance to meet her more thoroughly. The one thing that has always stuck out to me about her is how she is able to be completely herself and not have to sugarcoat anything. She will say things as it is and from there it all depends on how the person who is receiving the information decides to react. So much strength, character, and love I will be honest, at some points I found myself uncomfortable because I had never met a person like her. Sometimes I thought she could see through my skin and I was emotionally in the nude but those are the people who makes the differences in people's lives. I am still inspired by her behavior of continuing to do my own thing even if no one follows or in case people do decide to follow that they see me for who I am.

Marisol Nieves (Mom) - Mother, mother, mother, we first met on my birthday which is actually coming up really soon. Whether I am just saying this because she is my mom or because I do mean the things I say to her, she's been my number one. Always inspiring me to take risks even if this meant prying my arms from her thighs so I can mingle to the other pre-kindergartners, or continuing in the International Baccalaureate program when I wanted to call it quits. She always has faith in me when I don't see it in myself and that is honestly one of the greatest features of being a strong woman figure by helping other women figure out their self-worth and being to lift up one another from any insecurities. Not that many women will be willing to lend out a helping hand and regardless of the history of the relationship my mom has with another individual, she will still remain herself and even help. Sometimes I think some of the individuals my mom speak to do not deserve such kindness when little to no kindness was given to her but either way she has the strength to push pass that and not let the problems define her. I wish to be as strong as you are mom, one of these days. There are some cases where I question where you get this power to continue living this managed life but honestly it is your relationship with God that transformed you into the person you are.

Elisanet Perez-Velazquez - I have known Elisanet since I was probably in sixth or seventh grade in Hawaii. I remember meeting her at a gathering and immediately something clicked because I was really intrigued to talk to her. Even at that age, my eyes did not look at age, appearance, but more on behavior, the way someone speaks and express their ideas made me want to know what would strike those motifs in the first place. There was a time where she was having heart problems and seeing her in pain but still pushing onward and continuing to live her life that baggage she carries like a sack of potatoes. Now that we live apart from one another, I still enjoy speaking to her because our conversations are nothing about boys, makeup, or what the latest celebrity did but more like an exchange of ideas and exchange of advice which I prefer that over anything.

Laura Prieto - Not many know that Laura is my godmother less that she used to be a cross guard at my elementary school when I was in the fourth grade. Laura has always been a special person to me, who constantly looked after me during high school as she was the Counselor Clerk at my high school, was my ears when I needed someone to talk to, the one I shared many laughs with among with the staff in the office. The first thing that you would notice off the bat is her warm, charismatic attitude even though some individuals were not as warm or charismatic in return. Despite how horrible the day could of gone for me she always brings a smile to one's face and with that was enough for me to know how strong her character is. A petite lady is not even a description to describe how much this woman means to me, she knows how to stand her ground, knows how to deal well in sticky situations, knows how to tolerate people and manage the different behaviors or attitudes that comes across and find ways to make the day end on a good note. I couldn't have picked a more amazing person to be my godmother and be able to rely on her for anything especially when she is just around the corner. You have definitely taught me to continue smiling on and pushing forward even when I want to throw in the towel. Things do get better, we have proven that throughout high school!

Alice King - Oh my, I met Alice kind of unofficially in my first Mothers Against Drunk Driving meeting in September of my junior year of high school. Though, officially I didn't get to know Alice the way I know her now until around November 2013 when I decided that status should not get in the way of making friendships. I remember having this mentality that students are not supposed to be friends with mentors because I have heard that in a class my sophomore year but I am so thankful that I broke that rule! Or else I wouldn't have met such an incredible, loving, strong, hilarious, charismatic woman. To be a single mother and just see from the outside of how life could be a unexpected waves of emotions and obstacles, Alice still remains open-minded and helpful to those around her. I am not embarrassed at all for our friendship, our age, positions, none of that matters except for the person you are within. That is what I have learned, that nothing is better than being yourself and not caring about what others may think. Alice within the two years (and the much more that will continue) our lives are way different but we still manage to make time for each other and I do live for those moments when I get to catch up with you in person and not simply through messages.

Yoly M Cortez - Best friend since fourth grade or more I should say my sister from another mister, you have proven me so many things! You have proven me that friendships are not perfect but because they're not perfect it does not mean that they will not work because look at us now, eight years into and makes me forever grateful for you being in my life. We have defeated the odds when I moved to Hawaii and then I came back freshman year and failed at surprising you at the door... You know almost about everything about me that you can pretty much see right through me even when I am acting out of character. Your character, strength, words of advice, I have been using continuously I believe that is why I have grown to have thick skin even though sometimes I can be a complete softy. Taught me to not care about what people say about me because only I know what kind of person I am. In addition, that I should not give out so much credit to people in my life and be grateful for what I have this very moment. (Is it weird that I still remember the first time our moms met, it was after school and I remember the smell of pickles because the PTA would sell them after school. I was eating popcorn and our moms were just talking. The start of a wonderful friendship I want to say!)

Yolanda Marquez - My second mother who treats me like her own, no moments together are ever awkward or uncomfortable. Knowing you since I was in fourth grade, I feel like we got along rather quickly or it could also be because I was always at the house on Friday afternoons. Your motherly support and warm attitude, taught me that you do not have to be related to love someone. Hard worker as secretary for your husband's business and still have room to take care of a family full heartedly without complaining, strength like that has inspired me to believe that there is no excuses. When you enjoy doing something you love and when it comes from the heart doing work is not seen as a hassle but a highlight of your character.

(Mi segunda madre que me amas como si su fuera de ella, ningun momento juntas no ha pasado raro o incomodo. Conociendo te desde el cuarto grado, el relacion entre nosotras se formo rapidamente o tambien podia ser que siempre estaba en la casa despues de escuela los viernes. Tu apoyo y calentita actitud, me ensenado que no necisitas ser relacionados por sangre para amar algun persona. Trabajadora como secretaria en el negocio de tu esposo y todavia tener el tiempo para cuidar tu familia totalmente de tu corazon sin quejas, tu fuerza me ha inspirado que las excusas no existen cuando esta pasando haciendo las cosas que te hace feliz.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Who inspires you?

xx Chavelita

PS. Forever in my thoughts! <3

Being Small

 

There isn't a time I remember when I was average size
Where my mother did not have to explain her friends that I was actually seventeen
And to this day I hear my father's voice that we measure our foreheads to the skies
But that did not stop everyone else from questioning that I was a teen

Days went by where I tell myself being small is perfectly fine
Until I go to school and I hear people whispering about me like I don't hear them
Sometimes I wish I turned around and told them to back off before I get them in line
But what difference will that make?

Shopping has a whole new story of its own
To pick out shoes is such a chore
Nothing would fit, I felt so prone
Little girl shoes are all that fit me, at this point I just wanted to leave the store

My doctor informs me that growing is no longer a choice
That what I got, is what I got
And when I saw him again I would stand tall even though I was losing my voice
Was God putting me on the spot?

My self-confidence plummeted and I could not make ends meet
What if my mom said yes to inject me with hormones?
Would I have grown to reach five feet?
Will that make me feel normal?

Looking through pictures, I stand out
As time went on I started getting comfortable in my skin
To find some sense of doubt
Should not cause my head to spin

I will wear my size two converse with pride
Show the world that I am not weak
And all the criticism from people to slide 
Because being small is quite unique

This morning I came across this video on Facebook about a group of poetry teenagers called Get Lit where they speak about current events. I thought this was very jaw dropping and inspiring that even I wrote my own poem to talk about the situation that small people come across on a daily basis. Although these events I speak about may seem minimal, you will not understand the struggle unless actually have small feet or people speaking behind your back like you're at some freak show on display. Just know for these insecurities, it is what makes you stand out and shine especially for being able to accept them or overcome these insecurities.

(Bare with me that I do not normally record myself aha) 

What is a insecurity that inspires you to prove others wrong?

xx Chavelita

Money without an owner

Alright, maybe I should just create a side segment to speak about college as I am a senior in high school that is about to go to college in the next couple of months. Yup it still does not feel real that I am going to college... Though my regular day to day advice will still be available for your pleasure.

Ever wonder how in the world you will be paying for college? Or have you come to a point where you decide that you do not want to go to college because you think you cannot afford the expenses for it? Well for starters get that idea out of your head. If you want something in life you should go for it. A lot of the times people will regret not taking the extra step into success and usually this step is only done by you. When there is a vision there is a form of arriving there, so keep going. Today I will be speaking about financial aid maybe that will alleviate some of your stress. Trust me there is money out there just waiting for an owner to claim.

Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA):
Now I am not sure every country has a program similar to to the Free Application for Federal Student Aid or FAFSA but this program is useful for those interested in college. Questions such as, am I applicable or how much money will I be receiving, depends on the amount of income you receive. My advice though is that regardless of the income your parents make or in other cases what you make, you should apply for financial aid. The worst that could happen is that you get nothing in return but you will never know until you actually fill out the application. The drawback about this is that in order to receive this type of financial aid, you must prove that you are a legal United States citizen.

Eligibility:
1. Your ticket to receiving your cut of FAFSA is by obtaining your high school diploma or General Educational Development (GED).
2. You must show evidence that you have enrolled or accepted a college that you will be attending as a regular student who is under a degree program
3. All males between the ages of 18 and 25 must be registered with the Selective Service
4. Must have a legitimate Social Security number
5. Signature on the FAFSA that states you do not owe refunds on the federal grant and the money will be used for educational purposes only
6. Maintain your grades (though this step is probably a no brainer)

Simple right? Here is another tip, if you have not applied for your pin number then go apply for one this instant! That pin number will be needed when you start to fill out your FAFSA. Both you and your parent or guardian will have to apply for a pin number that will be used on the application. The pin number is usually assigned about two to three days from the day you applied. Information that they will ask for is basic information about you (or the parent/guardian if they are filling one out). The neat thing about signing up for a pin number is that you are able to choose the four digits of your choice. Talk about power within your fingertips!

My first thoughts when I saw the amount of money I will have to be paying for to gain a higher education caused me to think twice. Reevaluating my routes of college was a must for me. If you really want to gain that associates, bachelor, or whichever degree plan you are achieving for, you need to be open-minded and take the opportunity to seek financial help in wherever places that is legal and safe. I doubt financial aid will decline when all you want is to create a better future for the world you live in.

Did you fill out your taxes for this year?
(I suggest you do those ASAP! FAFSA needs those income digits from your W-2 forms.)

xx Chavelita