Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Bonus: Resilience

Yesterday in class, every Tuesday we have an organization called Olweus (pronounced as oh-vay-es) where they have little inspirational video clips or messages that the whole school during a certain period have to stop their course to teach the students this special lesson. Which I think it superb way to snap students back in reality and give them a dose of sanity. The assignment she had given us was to write an essay on resilience and how you see yourself, if you're resilience and to what. This blogpost I wanted to share with you what I had written:

The difficulty in today's society is the ability to distinguish between the truth and the made up. The key factor in be resilient is based on one's self esteem and just with it, it is constantly being challenged. Whether it is being attacked through interpersonal or intrapersonal relationships, many people around my age (sometimes myself even) doesn't see the other choices rather than to simply accept what is being said.

Though I am not the strongest person out of the bunch and have a bad habit of taking any commentary, good or bad, to heart, at the end of the day the only person you have to prove is yourself. Physically we have to learn to live with ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and evaluate the flaws. Turn them into weapons of success and do not forget the emotionally/mentally person you are because it is just as important to be psychologically healthy.

Pretty cliche but sometimes people have to be reminded of the obvious to take into consideration that maybe that the "obvious" is something important to be reminded of. Changes may not be the easiest or the smoothest of transitions to overcome but once they're made I am certain the view will be better than before. When the sensation that nothing is turning out as planned, that should be an immediate flag that you are going the wrong direction. Which in this case, something needs to change if you want to view different outcomes.

How does this connect to the trait of resilience? I find that what I've mentioned before such as self esteem, physically and mental preparedness, and choices are all the ingredients that are used to make resilience. For myself, I consider myself to be a resilient person who finds herself formulating choices that will be productive in any shape or form. Though resilience is a skill that needs constant checking so it would not crumble all at once, is fine by me. Everything can use a bit of fiddling to find out where you may stand and as my teacher said, "it all gets better with age". (not sure she wants to be mentioned but if you're reading this, I hope it is okay to quote you!)

Through what experiences have you been resilient to?

xx Chavelita 


Well my first day of school was yesterday and by the look of the lack of the blogpost yesterday it was one hell of a day. First days of school are the worst for me everything was turned upside down or inside out (whichever you prefer) and I did not enjoy it. Bright side was to be able to see my friends but even then that is limited. The classes that I have are not quite what I thought it would be, some of my favorite classes are no longer my favorite because of the switching of teachers or the switch of the students. Changes are hard, I understand that they are supposed to be because it measures your ability to spring back into the right direction or a new direction but I am honestly worried about this year. This is not very positive blogpost but I am not going to apologize for how I feel because I am too human, we are all a little broken. Sometimes we feel weak and we have reached those moments where you are just trying to place all the positives together to out balance the negatives.

The reason why transitions are hard for me because I am so accustomed to how my life was last school year and growing close to my classmates that now being placed in a group of people I barely speak to, its like all the odds are against me. To be a child of a military father, it was something you were either ready or not there was no choices if you wanted to leave. And here I am, still not used to it. Total survival of the fittest and as much as I prefer to be on my own, I know I cannot always be and being with a group of unfamiliar people makes the situation seem sketchy for me. When students who do not take their work as serious are placed in the same group as me, it makes me upset because I know where they all lead to: me doing all the work. I am no one's guinea pig, I am a leader and if people are not going to follow or at least cooperate than why should I cooperate with them? I'm just already stressed and I know I shouldn't be because it's barely the second day of school. I am trying to pull through, make the best out of my senior year, and complete all the work that comes at me.

The title of this blogpost is expectations. At any given moment there will be times where we are tossed the unexpected and have to learn to deal with them. Just because something was decent or great the year before, it does not always determine where you will be the next year. What you may have experienced the first time will not have the same effect as it does the second time. People change, situations change, and to cope with them has its own story. Though it is possible to overcome these obstacles, when you feel your weakest is when your window of opportunity comes to become a stronger person than you already are. I just have to reshape my comfort zone again and take my best friend's advice and open up more to people. Not on a personal level but as an acquaintance or at least to the point where I do not feel as lonely or a stranger when I do not have my support system with me.

As I mentioned before school has started for me which means that I will be posting less. I have decided that I should post at least three times in a week maybe the weekend with the addition of Wednesday? Depends on how much will be on my plate according to my schedule.

How do you recall your first day of school?

xx Chavelita

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Strong or stronger?

Hi everyone one, I apologize for not posting yesterday but today I was speaking to a great friend of mine and the topic of being a strong person came up. 

First of all, everyone may have problems whether they're the size of the Himalayas or as a tiny as a grain of sand, since when was asking for help a sign of weakness? Which in fact I think of as the first step of recovery, the realization that you cannot manage and need someone else because you recognize your problem whether than pushing it aside until another problem comes along and stacks on top. There is only so many problems we can stack up until the volcano erupts hurting everyone in sight. Though the beauty of an eruption is that you create new beautiful things. The truth comes up burns the surface and your new beginning gives fruit. Solving your problems opens a new window of opportunity and uplifts your mind from the fog. 

Secondly, strength is measured through the experiences you have gone through, which all of you have gone through a few. Congratulations, you're strong so stop underestimating yourself and grab the help you need or find the conclusion to your issue yourself and prove that you can overcome that obstacle. Please stop hiding the fact that you may be tearing apart inside, there is always someone out there who is willing to listen to you and although they made not give you the proper advice just know that you're not alone. Think of that support system I've mentioned a few days ago and build yourself up from there. 

Lastly, starting something new is always the greatest struggle but as the days go by what may seem so difficult a few days ago, is now somewhat bearable. Be patient, like I told my friend everything happens for a reason and instead of searching for that answer that you stubbornly try to solve, try to find a way to the answer. Answers come through experience, so eventually that experience will come along and you'll find the answer you've been looking for. It is okay to not know something, that's the lovely thing about learning. (Honestly the more you know, the more you question...) Do not just sit there and think of the millions of possibilities, you will only overwhelm yourself and not get anywhere. Turn the page of your story, accept the things you can't change and continue moving forward with the things you can change. 

I don't want to see anyone struggling alone, I hope this helps. 
Reminder, take care of yourself before you can take care of others. 

What is a obstacle in your life that you overcame and how did you feel afterwards?

xx Chavelita 

Thursday, July 24, 2014


There are just days where I simply want to unplug from everything, turn off my cellphone service, disconnect my laptop from the wifi hotspot, and go outside. I know shocker, Isabel a hermit crab in her own house going outside for a little R & R with nature. Can she handle it? Of course. And it's probably a good way to reset your system (the more alone you are without the distraction of others, the better in my opinion) It's not because I'm upset at the world that I feel like disconnecting but sometimes it is too overwhelming for me to handle that I need to step back from all this advancement, hit pause, and breathe. I begin to stress over things that are not even pertaining to me and I don't need any unneeded stress and you shouldn't either. There are days I reminisce when the only things I had to worry about was that I if I'm wearing my clothes correctly, being on time to watch Drake & Josh, and to find a friend on my street that will come play Polly Pockets with me in the open garage. Technology is becoming an addiction to us and I'm concerned as to what will come next. It's like I'm running but I'm not able to catch up because the finish line is always extending itself. There are days where I ask myself why do I own a phone if all it does is live in my pocket silently. If there was other ways of contacting my mother without my cellphone, I'd probably not own a phone in the first place because that was my main concern. I wish there was more parks around where I live maybe then will people come out to enjoy the sun and the swings. I sense this is more of a thought than a an advice today but don't forget that there is more to what is on a glass screen. If needed take a friend with you and go on a mini adventure. Create new memories without the need of technology, think of them as little secrets for your own keepsakes. 

Anything you miss before technology took over?

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

How much are you covering?

"Who are you impressing today?"

Is like every time I do my hair I am asked that. Wearing good looking clothes? You're asked the same question. Wearing clothes out of your normal style? The question pops up once again. Wearing makeup or putting a little bit of extra accessories on? Exactly.

My answer? I do not dress to impress.

Now that answer may have different definitions.

  1. I can careless as to what I wear.
  2. I can careless about what people think of what I wear, it is for my self benefit and comfort.
  3. Since when did I start to impress others?
  4. At least I am dressed and not getting tickets for public disturbance. 
I dress the way I am to represent the person I am and sometimes the person I am likes to change things up a bit. Just as repeating that question over and over again can get tiring, repeating the same look can get tiring. A bit of change is healthy. Being in the comfort zone can get a bit stuffy and we need to get out for some fresh air filled with new ideas. To remove yourself out of the comfort zone is already difficult as it is, so why must someone make it more difficult to question our actions? Do not assume that the changes made is not the main purpose of impressing others or for a particular someone, but more to prove that you are much more than the person people may think you are. And if you are impressing someone, I am sure they will be stunned either way. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy whether it is the new suede pumps you bought, lipstick in the shade of purple, or a tight attire to emphasis your figure. Instead of people implying that you look beautiful/handsome, they should just straightly tell you (come on, why else would they ask?). I think people may ask this overused question is because they wish they could do the same thing you are doing, and that is to not be afraid of wanting to wear what they liked and bought. Just as negativity could be infectious, positive outputs could also strike chords. It all depends on how the person decides to view it though so be patient. They will soon realize that they could also dress to not impress. For now just ignore the question and do not let it stop you, each fashion trend has to start out someway, right?

What is your favorite piece of clothing/makeup/accessory that makes you stand out from others and make you happy?

xx Chavelita

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Why are you so confident?

Yes I was on Ask.Fm again, and yes there is still some disrespectful people on there but that is the wrong blogpost, as I was getting ready for bed someone sends me this question, "Why are you so pretty and confident!!" Although there is no question mark found in that sentence I couldn't stop blushing. I was a bit starstruck you can say to an anonymous. And I replied,

"I'm pretty because of my genes (don't ask what in my weird mind made me say that) and I'm guessing my personality aha and I'm confident because I'm tired of people taking others for granted and not speaking up for themselves (that used to be me). So I try to present the image of a confident lady so I inspire others to be confident in themselves. Embrace yourself, flaunt your flaws and someone will come along and love you for who you are. It's all in my blog honestly. And thank you. :)"

I wanted to elaborate more on that response because confidence is something that we all struggle to gain. Some days our confidence level is at the brim ready to spill out and other days we barely have any confidence to even leave the house. Confidence is hard. I am not going to lie or sugarcoat. There are days that I stare myself in the mirror and wonder what people see in me or notice in just that short glimpse. Not much other than my physical features such as I am a short female with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I feel people at first impression only see maybe ten percent of the person you are. The rest of the ninety percent is all formulated through experiences, stories, and memories. So it wouldn't be fair to compare your whole one hundred percent on someone else's ten percent. You are not giving yourself a chance nor are you giving the other person a chance. I know looks can be deceiving, people's behavior can be confusing, and meeting people for the first time can be a bit of a plot twist. Though we are not all perfect, even those who may be bubbly most of the time face similar issues so please do not compare yourself or create assumptions that they have it better. With confidence comes power and without confidence comes with insecurities. In my opinion, I would rather have a little bit of power than a whole load of insecurities. Insecurities are like the Thursday's in my life in a school week, it would feel like a Friday but you still have another day to go until the weekend. You have to learn to live with your insecurities, become best friends to the point where you know them inside and out that allows you to gain your own voice. Then maybe the ten percent that you are allowing people to see will become an eleven percent or higher.

The way I gain confidence is learning from my previous mistakes and how uncomfortable and frustrating they caused me at the time. I remember going to church one day with my family and we went to a different mass than the one we normally go to and my luck I was sitting next to someone I did not know. I would of not mind other than the fact that the man would not give me my personal space. I kindly pushed him away but he kept pushing back. My mom noticed how uncomfortable I was so she switched seats with me and told the man what he was doing. I wish I had spoken up that day...

One of the largest pet peeves is when people instead of asking me to help them on homework (which I would try my best in doing) ask me for the answers. I am no homework bank where I can reproduce you the work at any given moment for no cost. It's probably the only time where I am noticed from others around my age group and it aggravates me. Though do not do what I did and question, "why am I so different from everyone else? why don't I fit in?". You do fit in somewhere, maybe not with the group you think you did but somewhere else and I will tell you when you find your group you will feel so much better. Your self image will bloom and you will laugh at those people searching for other sources of gaining their work. Do not lower your standards to people who will not live up to them, change because of your own benefit.

What is something that annoys you about people?

xx Chavelita

Monday, July 21, 2014

That awkward moment when we all succeed...

How come some people like to state the obvious? "Hey you're short!" "Did you see the size of that pimple on that person's face?" Why is it that we create judgements before we have the time to get to know the person for who they really are? It seems a bit unfair if you ask me, call me a hypocrite because I do it too but instead of pointing out the negatives why not the positives or point something that you do not normally see in someone?

To distinguish the traits of others is beautiful for the fact that you are recognizing for the person they are, though when the gossip begins it is not only destroying the image of that person but your image. Whatever it is that you do, reflects back. Not all the time when you do a kind gesture you will get a kind reflection back but it should not stop you to continue those gestures. People are forgetting what it is to be nice to others, that when you do something nice in return they think that it is because you want something in return. One of the worst phrases I have been hearing more often is, "It's okay, I am used to it." No it's not okay that people treat you like dirt, it's not okay when someone abuses your rights or does not give you an equal opportunity like others, IT'S NOT OKAY TO TAKE LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE. If you put enough effort in what you do, you should not be the one having to bust your ass for others incompetence. Yes you should help others, but not until the point where you find yourself having to pull everyone else's weight because that is not your job. If people are not willing to take things into serious manners and not work for the position they want, it is their failure not yours. Do not take the fall for someone else, that will only underestimate the talents you are presenting and people will only assume that they can take you for granted. Be confident speak up when you do not like something, be open-minded to what is being said but not gullible that you will believe in everything you hear, be kind to remind people that kindness still exist, and love yourself for every flaw that you may not like and use it as your super power to defeat those who point them out. If you are already acquainted with your weakness, then it is a head start to happiness in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Be proud of who you are, forget those who makes you feel little, and if you need to start over, then start over. Prove to people of what you are capable of. Nothing is more accomplishing than astonishing those put you down and told you that you would not go far. You have to believe in yourself, before others begin to believe in you. Only you know the path in which you want to take, everything else will either help you get there or distract you from your destination, keep your eyes open and keep moving forward.

PS. It is up to you how you want to view things, nothing is one sided.

What is the first thing you notice in someone you are not familiar with?

xx Chavelita

Sunday, July 20, 2014


I thought you should meet another person I am grateful to have in my life. For privacy, the person I am going to speak about we will call her Bee.

It is almost a year since I met Bee and she has created such a large impact in my life she is probably the one who helped boost my self esteem and molded me into the confident being that I am. Turning my flaws into beautiful imperfections, that makes me stand out from the rest of the world. Normally when I meet people who I am on a professional platform, I do not like to go personal. I was told by a teacher in my sophomore year of high school that, "we are not friends" to our class and that because she had given us her number to call if we had any questions on the homework it does not mean we could text her. That mentality stuck with me, oddly it did make sense at the moment because students and teachers were separate things at the time but it all changed my junior year. I will not lie I was confused, we could not text teachers but joining the IB program they give you their numbers to text them if anything (unless otherwise told that you can't) and I was I actually afraid to text my teachers since I thought it was pretty unorthodox to do. It was not until my friend persuaded me to text her and by the things she told me, perhaps it was okay to do so. It all started with a simple text message and from there our friendship flourished. She started to lean on me and I did the same in return. Her background stories are moving you would not expect stories like that coming from a bubbly person like herself. Though she does apologize a lot for little things which I think may not deserve an apology. I could say she is part of my family she is tied between the big sister or an aunt to me including her beautiful children. I can tell her anything and it would be casual which is one of the things I love about her. The little moments when I do have her for myself I find myself laughing and listening to her stories since I do not talk much, I believe there is hardly ever an awkward moment with her. Anytime spent with her makes me happy.

One of my favorite memories I had with her is when she took me to one of her presentations and when she took me back home. We spoke at my drive way for an hour or so in her car. I was surprise to say that my parents did not realize that I was out til 9 on a school night even less in the drive way so technically I was at home just not in it. It is probably one of the simplistic memories I share with her but I just love how quiet the night was. No distractions and it was just us two spending time together sharing our own memories. It was also the day I gave her a rosary in her favorite color and the moment she opened her gift, it was like Christmas morning. Her face was glowing and astonished that she even gave me a hug (we had never hugged until that day, I'm usually the hugging type of person but I somehow grew uncomfortable to hugs).

Bee is one of my inspirational role models, against the odds she still finds a way to tackle on the day with her work, caring for her children, all on her own. With her charismatic attitude, beautiful smile, and her perky lipstick this lady is going places! I'm honestly having a difficult time writing this blogpost since I cannot fathom the words to describe how wonderful she is. You have to meet her for yourself to understand the emotions I am going through. I love you, Bee! Continue being the person you are, accomplish your set dreams and I am sure the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet!

This is why I am telling you that you should give everyone a chance, you will never know who you will meet and have your life changed.

xx Chavelita

Saturday, July 19, 2014

What price tag?

To begin with, I have never had a job where I earned a salary nor have I ever been interviewed for a job (other than write a reflective paper as to why I wanted the job and usually it is the same reason as to why I want the job) position but since when does having a job mean you have to get paid or get something out of it in return? I've done numerous of jobs over the past year such as sing to the local nursing home, greet people at the entrance and pass out programs, stuff endless envelopes for the upcoming school year, even went to a presentation with my sponsor for Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and heard quite interesting stories. What do I get in return you may ask? Satisfaction. For me it does not matter what the price tag these jobs have but by the end of the shift the moment when that person you helped out says thank you or praise you, at that moment when you have no words to explain as to how much you are thankful that they have picked you to do the job is enough for me. (It is also probably one of the greatest feeling to encounter.)

When I sang at the local nursing home it was my first that I ever sang in public, singing Amazing Grace and watching all those faces glow with new life gave me goosebumps. So glad I did not forget the lyrics though because then I will be getting goosebumps for the wrong reason. Most of the time they do treat those people with love and kindness, but not all do in addition they may get lonely. They are still people regardless of age and I feel sometimes people lose hope in the older generation but instead we should be learning from them. Just showing a hint of a caring gesture for others will get you places, and trust me it will change your life too. At the end of those two hours when we had to thank all the people who came to watch us sing, this lady sitting on one of the couches pulled me into a hug and was telling me how much I had reminded me of her granddaughter. She even told me "I love you", and like the socially awkward person that I am I replied with "thank you". Hey at least that was better than staring silently at her! I had no idea how I was supposed to reply to that because this was the first time something like this has happened to me, a complete stranger showing such passion to another complete stranger. It is the little things like these that makes me want to get out there and do more for my community. Restore some of the peace and know that it was you who was able to accomplish something. Even if it may be the minimalist thing such as cleaning the kitchen or the toilet you can still put your name on that task.

I could have not done this alone though. Everyone needs a push and I would like to thank my teachers of the International Baccalaureate program for giving me that push to remove my outer shell and help get my feet out the door. To go out there and create new stories that are just waiting to be made. Most of these stories would have not been created if I did not have a constant push to do more. This is probably coming out mushy again ahaha but the advice for today is that do not forget to think about others. Do not be selfish and think, "what is it to me? what am I going to get out of this?" because helping does not cost anything but time. Use your time wisely. You will always have time to think about yourself even maybe too much time because even I do get fed up about thinking about myself that I have to start writing down my own thoughts such as what I am doing right now. I'm pretty sure that you are stressing over things you can't change so why not think about things you can do to change something?

When was the last time you helped someone and what did you do to complete this task?
Easter Parade 2014
 Easter Parade with MADD

xx Chavelita

Friday, July 18, 2014

Nosy McGees

Looking through my Ask.Fm account, I've been finding a lot of rather nosy people maybe that is an understatement more like persistent pressuring people who can get a bit ugly sometimes if the person does not answer the question.

First of all if you're in anonymous mode you already do know that the chances of getting a genuine answer to your question is limited especially if it is something personal because of the fact that they do not know who you are. (Besides if you cannot even show your true identity you probably do not even deserve a genuine answer to that question.)
Second, STOP MAKING PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE (...and maybe go look for your life that you left somewhere in your room, I'm pretty sure they are feeling lost). I cannot stress this enough. The whole purpose of having a social media account is that you are able to express yourself and not be constantly pressed on for information that one may not want to share to the public. I understand that everyone gets curious as to who so and so may like, or if your potential crush may feel the same way about you or whatever the case may be but if they tell you that they do not want to talk about then let it go. If one begins to make someone uncomfortable I believe they have every right to defend themselves rather it is to throw sarcastic, swearing comments back or simply ignore that person in total. Just because you may be anonymous, does not give the person the right to be a jackass and disrespect people. No one should EVER disrespect you.
Third, if you want to know something that is sensitive get off of anonymous or find another form of social media to speak to them where it is only between the two of you. This is not a talk show where you need an audience to get your point across or even less to entertain an audience. Do not for what the reason may be, force out information that you do not want to share if they really cared they would respect your decision.
Fourth, and foremost be careful with online predators (well anyone who may be a threat to you). Sometimes blocking the person is the only effective way to deal with someone quickly before questions start to become insults. Like I tell myself, "I do not need anyone else's crap, I already have my own to deal with it".

I really hope no one is being cyerbullied and if you are I hope you find the strength to seek help. You are the controller to your own life. Do not let anyone else play with your feelings and have them be tossed around because you are worth more than you think. :)

Be safe! Don't be afraid to fight for yourself, throw some sarcastic comments around if you need to! Slap their face with those ravishing words of yours! :D

How do you deal with disrespectful people?

xx Chavelita

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Sink or swim?

Today's dream inspired me to talk about support systems such as family, friends, animals, etc. 

Last night I dreamt about being in a house that most of my family (my extended family) was lounging around in the dark chatting around and the only source of light came from the light posts from outside. We decided to take a walk and I was walking alongside my Mom when a deer approached us from the behind. The deer slowly came walking towards and suddenly came charging at me who was almost about to strike me across the forehead with his legs. And whenever you're about to get hit you embrace yourself before you actually get hurt so you somehow close your eyes and wait for the strike? Well I was expecting it but my Mom blocked the hit for me, scared off the deer, and took me to the hospital (in which in the dream I had no knowledge that I went to the hospital but I was told in my dream that I went). The rest of the dream we lounged around the couch. The end. 

When you're feeling lonely, in need of someone to talk to, or need help, support systems seem to do the trick. The thing about a support system is that it can be made through your own adjustments so it doesn't always have to follow the typical family and friends. I have also learned that speaking to your pet can also be as helpful as speaking to a person. Creative methods such as writing, singing, art, etc. can also provide a support system in which you may have trouble expressing your emotions verbally (or maybe you don't want to talk about them) with someone though these alternatives can be just as effective. The goal of this support system is to not keep things bottled in. When you need to vent/rant/talk you should do so, throw out the toxic emotions, and relieve yourself. Holding in tears, telling lies to cover up true emotions, smiling without the sensation of happiness are not productive coping techniques. They become bad habits that can really take a toll in your physical and mental health. You should never pretend to feel fine when you are not, if it takes a day to explain your situation so be it. Sometimes when people say it is a long story half of the time or maybe a quarter they are not even long. Once when you break out of your outer shell, the world seems to be a brighter and clearer place that you may have overlooked throughout the time you've been masking and hiding within that self-produced shell. 

Think of life as this metaphor, when you're at a beach before you get into the water you touch the surface, feel for yourself of how cold or hot the water may be and you watch the waves come back and forth. Your feet begin to sink into the sand. You begin to go in and the water is at your knees adjusting your body to the temperature of the water, but you're still on the surface. A little deeper and your head is the only thing above the surface. Now it's your decision, go in deeper and experience what is out there risking the fact that you may drown or you may swim or go back to the sand, watch the waves, and not know what you could of accomplished if you took that leap? Food for thought. 

I hope you're having a great day and I'll leave you with this question: What do you think the metaphor symbolizes? 

xx Chavelita 

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Unexpected turns

The majority of this day I have been trying to gather my thoughts as to what would actually happen if something or someone from your life were to change and causing this sort of domino effect to the rest of your life. Events happen out of your control and you are forced to juggle around your emotions, the emotions of others who may be affected and still try to maintain sanity within yourself. Perhaps I am being selfish for mostly thinking about what would happen to me if the causes were to become reality rather than worrying for the causes on other people's life.

Side note: Everyone has problems because someone may have worse problems than you that should not mean that you should keep it to yourself. Problems big or small are problems and should be taken care of immediately before they develop into worse scenarios. Your problems are just as important as anybody else's, I just wish people would stop competing to see who has the worst the problem instead help each other out to find the solution to that problem.

I will not lie though, I am known to be the biggest worrier there is not one day where I am not worrying about something. I've been told multiple times that I should stop worrying over the little things because I always seem to find a way through the obstacles but if I don't worry then how else will I acknowledge that there is a problem or a potentiality that a problem will be created? What people do not understand is that I worry because I care and maybe I care a bit too much about things that do not even involve me but that is the person I am. I can be stubborn, clingy, and will do anything to bring back peace or the happiness of those who have impacted my life. Which I also find myself holding in a lot of information. It sounds a bit complicated, huh? That I may not be involved in the issue but people tell me their issue and it is as if I have been enrolled into the issue as the bystander or the advice giver? I do not mind that people come to me when they have problems because I honestly prefer they do. It is not because it adds power to my name but it means that people are entrusting themselves to receive help and although I may not always have the brilliant advice to give or the witty responses to cheer up a bad day, I will like them to know that I am there for them. Whether we stopped talking for a number of days, have not seen each other in a few weeks, I will still be here because I know how it feels like to be left in the dust when the only person who will hear you is a bear made out of fluff.

I apologize that this advice post is not the regular peppy inspirational post you would normally read on here, but today has just been one of those "emotional roller coasters, insert your earphones and exclude yourself from others" kind of day and hopefully everything gets sorted out soon. I hope you have a wonderful day.
How do you deal with the unexpected turns in your life?

xx Chavelita

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The fear of communicating

By far this would probably be my greatest obstacle course I have come along to. Simply speaking was a challenge for me since I was small that I would actually cry almost everyday at pre kindergarten because my Mom couldn't stay with me. To be around unfamiliar faces makes me feel uncomfortable even more when I don't have a friend along with me. Though as I've grown older, I have learned a bit tricks to break the awkward ice.

1. Say hello! 
I know this may sound a bit redundant but if you greet someone you are already engaging into conversation. Perhaps ask them how have they've been because for starters everyone secretly loves to speak about themselves and loves someone who will listen to what they have to say. 

2. Ask common questions
You would probably want to start asking questions to that person when the right time comes (normally after greeting them is the right time) but you do not want to scare them off by asking too personal questions. Your first objective is to get to know the basics of the person: birthday, their favorites and dislikes such as food, seasons, treats and maybe their nationality if you're curious I know I would. 

3. Should I stay or move on?
I believe that everyone should deserve at least one chance to begin with. Though if the answer to the previous questions did not quite suit you then maybe you should move on. You're not obligated to be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or causes you to change to suit their habits. A friendship should make you feel happy and have the ability to trust the other person. If you're already doubting yourself with that person then you probably already the answer to that (move on). Not everyone you will meet, you will like but do not give up keep meeting new people and expand your horizons with them.

4. Trust fall
This step is rather tricky and risky because it could either go two ways either they support you and keep information that you tell them to themselves. Or they would go behind your back and tell everyone they know. For me I take an extremely long time to get to this platform but I have also learned that you should be able to take as much time as you need to get there. Begin with the little things such as the last person you kissed or dated, a person you may like or dislike, a fact about yourself that no one knows. I recommend you begin with the little things as a sort of test to see where this friendship is standing at. If they pass then congratulations you have made a good friend! Though if they did leak some of your information I would be careful with that person and even though they may say it was an accident, I would not be surprised that they would to do it again. 

5. Personal questions 
After passing the trust fall I think it would be safe to say to ask personal questions. Get to know your friend a bit deeper. Do not overload on these questions though because you can make your new friend to be uncomfortable. Only ask these questions when the right opportunity may come and be aware that at any time they may ask for your opinion based on the question you asked so be honest, tactful, and understanding. 

When I make friends I'm like the little turtle in the story with the rabbit and the turtle, who takes his sweet but persistent time to get to his goal while the rabbits here are making friends like a snap of a finger. I'm quite slow and steady when it comes to meeting new people, I was never the expert of being able to create a mass load of friends (hell I'm not even a expert in communicating ahaha). I wasn't able to manage but with a handful of friends I was able to get to know them more for who they are and it seemed simpler because you have less people to attend to. Though that is my opinion on friends, I just hope that you make good, healthy, careful friendships and that you do not take anyone for granted.

Photo credit to Sam, our emergency ice cream runs

Photo credit to Sam, you don't understand how much I leaned on these two girls (Sam and Ana). Las tres chicas! 

Hopefully this was helpful and if so I'll leave you with this question: Have you ever met someone you have least expected to become friends with? And if so, how did you meet them? (I feel the unexpected ones are the best ones yet!)

xx Chavelita 

Monday, July 14, 2014

The secret of knowledge

Right now I'm currently researching for my two papers one of them is on the Soviet Union's economy during the Second World War and my other one is on psychology on the physiological behavior of people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. And let me tell you, I have this weird love for old books. The smell of the books, little notes left by previous readers, the texture of the pages, it's as if they tell their own story beside the ones of their content. If they are hardcover with a simple background color the better because it doesn't distract the reader from judging the cover when there's no pictures in front or back. I could stay in a library the whole day if I was left alone, escaping within the vastness of literature, building up my knowledge, and finding out the secrets left within the pages of each book. Call me weird, but I'm quite excited to be starting college next fall of 2015 and hopefully with the preparations of IB will help lead into this transition. (I seriously need to find someone who is just as enthusiastic to learn and tell me random facts about what they found out..)

What do you want to do with your life when the time comes or what are you planning to major in? 

xx Chavelita

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Introduction Time


There are just moments in life where you seem that you have everything together, you find yourself content with the life you've decided to take, and you sense that nothing can go wrong. As swift and easy, negativity comes rushing through you like the plague and steals away all the confidence that took you so long to build up. Now let me tell you that is probably one of the worst feelings to experience because it's not a outside source that is causing the problem (though it could be a factor) but you also play the role as the predator of your own thoughts with what you see. Interpretation and perspective can be deadly when they're put together. There is no avoiding it, there will be people, posts, books, music, pretty much anything that can inspire and or dissuade you from the person you want to become. Sometimes it is not even your fault because I believe that people change for their own benefit and depending on what it is (though that may not always be the case), that is up to you to decide to keep that person in your life or continue without them. Let me ask you, do you love yourself? Do you love the life you molded yourself into? If you answered yes for both questions then there is nothing wrong with you and if you want to enrich your life I think you should do it. Do not forget about the people who helped you get to where you are and the experiences you have gone through because they are the reason for the path you've chosen. If you answered no for one or both questions, what is it that you want in life? What are some things you can fix that can get you back onto the right path? Do not be afraid to ask for help, but also be careful who you ask for help. The changes you make does not always have to be anything major because even the little changes make a large impact. I will not lie, it's confusing because I do not have an exact answer to give you to overcome this because everyone has different methods of coping but if you're starting to become unhappy then maybe you're going the wrong way. Retract your steps if you have to and hopefully it will newly enlighten the light inside of you. Remember just like Jessie J said, "It's okay not to be okay" but it's not okay to sit there and do nothing about it either.

xx Chavelita 

Saturday, July 12, 2014

"But I was sure they were the one!"

Relationships can be a bit messy, brain wrecking, awkward, tricky and if you're like me then scary, especially if they're your first one. I was pretty oblivious when I met him because he would simply talk to me and ask me how my day was everyday. Ok... So maybe I was terrible at taking hints but I thought he was simply being nice to me until he sent me a seven page message late at night stating that he did have feelings for me. The point is that when you're thinking about a relationship don't do it because you're simply lonely and looking for someone to fill up that gap in your life because that is not what they are for. A relationship should begin when you love yourself and when you're mentally and emotionally ready for one. You don't want to give anyone half hearted emotions because you wouldn't want the same in return. Be considerate of their emotions and if the relationship doesn't work out then you go and try again with someone new. Take the time you need to get over the break up but don't throw in the towel just yet. Another thing about relationships is learning about yourself, learning from the mistakes that were committed, and learning what it is that you would want to look for in the next person you would want to date. Please do not commit the same mistake as I did by never giving the person you like a chance (we were always each other's crush but we never went further than that) your window of opportunity will close and you'll be wondering what would of happened if you guys did go out. And in my opinion be cautious with your crush because at any moment they can find someone else and crush you (hence the crush) and sometimes giving people second chances will only make matters worse. I have done that and it took me another pair of months to get over him again. DONT SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE. Because you did not work out with someone it does not mean you should try again with the same person who hurt you and hope for the same results of finding the lost love because it will simply destroy the self image you produced for yourself and the confidence you have tried too hard to accumulate when you were getting over them. If you do not have a crush it's perfectly fine, take the time to focus on yourself, try new things, meet new people, do not have the mentality that you will not find anyone because then it will make it difficult to find someone. Relax, gather your thoughts together and love will find a way through everyone in different forms. 

What have you learned from past relationships or crushes? 

xx Chavelita 

Friday, July 11, 2014

Rare friends

Have you ever met someone that immediately changed your life the moment you both came into contact? I am not the one to expect a close friendship from the first few days I meet someone but in this case it was different and we still talk as of today too. It was October of my sophomore year in high school and that year of 2012 I had my 15th birthday in July. Normally you would have your quinceanera around the time of your birthday but I am guessing there was not enough time for the preparations for my "surprise" quinceanera. Why is surprise in quotation marks you may ask? That is because my Dad decided to ask me to help on my own invitations for my own party that I found out that I was having one in Puerto Rico. Perhaps it was a bit predictable too since I did tell my uncle who is a party planner of my dream quinceanera... At least the thought of creating a surprise quinceanera counts. We arrived on the island and the first thing my Dad does is that he visits his oldest brother. He runs the family business mostly on his own during the night and not once do I recall to have found him sleeping. It is like he never sleeps! Anyway, my uncle has two children but his son has his own family in which he no longer lives in Puerto Rico but he has a daughter who does. When I was such a little pea, she would call me "pulguita" which means small flea in Spanish and since then that is how she would addresses me by. She does not call me that to annoy me but to show her affection towards me. Through her is how I met my friend. I will not say her name for privacy issues but my first impression of her was how sweet she was towards me, though she was a bit reserved to herself too. Me not knowing anything about her and she immediately gives me a hug with a kiss on the cheek as if we were family like some lost cousin that my parents forgot to introduce me to. (To this day I still have a feeling that I have family that I do not know about or have not met yet...) I find it hard to believe that she is shy when she had told me because towards me she is like this radiant butterfly who affects everyone she touches. It is quite marvelous, people like that are very rare to find. I remember she came to my quinceanera with my cousin, everyone was dressed so elegantly which is something you barely see in Puerto Rico because we are usually in t-shirts and shorts all year round. Then I went to Puerto Rico again in the late springtime of March in 2013 and I was able to see her again. Honestly it felt really nice to encounter her again and still see her friends with my cousin. She is such lovely company to be around with and she rarely asks for anything. Sadly, I was not able to spend a lot of time with her personally between her work schedule and my parents plans. Though she did surprise me on my last full day of my trip when she texted me what I was doing and she came out of my Tia's car as if nothing. I was not expecting her to be honest aha. Nice to treasure my last memory of that trip with her by seeing luminescent fishes in a pond of water (I am not kidding theoe fishes were like dragonflies, when you touched the surface of the water in which they are inhabitants of they glow because it is how they defend themselves from predators) That is probably something I regret from that trip, that I was not able to spend the right amount of time with everyone. Two weeks is just not enough for me because it takes time for me to get acquainted and comfortable so by the time I am it is already time to pack my bags again. Oh well, it gives me another reason to go back to Puerto Rico. It won't be any time soon but maybe during a summer so I have more time to explore and create new memories.

Family business
My cousin's dog, Poofi <3
Bahia Bioluminiscente (Bio-Luminescent Lake)

My ticket :)
Who is someone that has impacted your life, and in what way?

xx Chavelita

A rose for you

I do not recall the entire memory of it but only small fragments of my past. For what I can remember when I was around the age of five and I do not remember how frequently I would do this but I would give my kindergarten teacher a rose. Since the house I lived in produced beautiful yellow roses in our front yard, my little five year old self thought that it would be a nice gesture to give her favorite teacher a rose in a vase. Of course my Mom had made most of the arrangements of the rose actually getting there safely and not plucking my fingers with the thorns.. When I was little I found myself to be very observant, choosing my peers carefully, and crying... A LOT when things were not seemingly going the way they were supposed to. Which is why I felt like I bonded more with Ms. Sheen (until this day I still remember my kindergarten teacher) for some reason I love the vibe she would give off. She was beautiful, had a wonderful smile, and had a sweet voice. Very kind teacher indeed she has taught me a lot not just about the primary ABC's or the days of week but to be considerate to others. I wonder how she is doing right now or about her whereabouts.

What is a memory of your past that you cherish?

xx Chavelita

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Jar of Hearts

(If you get the title of this blog post then you get a gold star!!)

Alright in my previous post I stated that I wanted to fill a jar with advice or wishes. Well starting on my birthday, I have started to accumulate these advice onto tiny sticky notes. I have decided that everyday until I am 18 I will write a piece of advice to myself and depending on how well this mini project goes I will continue after I am 18. Tiny pieces of advice is always needed especially on those sucky days which is the major reason why I wanted to start. This year I feel like I am going to find myself stressed, lost, and questioning myself like I usually do, so when I do feel like this I can simply grab a piece of advice. Nothing like getting advice from the person who knows you the best: YOU. Maybe with this mini project it will boost my self esteem and create positive outlooks in life. I recommend you to try it, it is never to late!

What are some of the ways you do to calm down your nerves?

xx Chavelita

Bucket List: 17 Years Old

It was probably a time for a change. To get out of the routine and out of my comfort zone, to create new experiences that I was too afraid to take in the first place. With that I created a bucket list and hopefully by the time I turn 18 I will have done all of it. So far this is what I have I am still debating whether I should add more.

  • Sing karaoke or freely in public
  • Give someone who is not related a kiss on the cheek
  • Get my braces off (although I do not have much control on this one but I'm still crossing my fingers)
  • Fill a jar with wishes/advice (in the progress will explain later)
  • Meet a new friend
  • Try a new fruit
  • Learn a new song on the ukulele and be able to sing along
  • Get contacts
  • Dye the tips of my hair a lighter share of brown
  • Make more phone calls 
  • Open up to people as soon as something is wrong (because honestly I can be in a burning house and I would not ask for help)
  • Learn how to make proper origami hearts (I have tried before and they looked nothing like stars...)
  • Host a sleepover
  • Give out more hugs
  • Give someone a makeover
  • Drink hot tea
  • Get a birthday shout out from Betty Who (you should check her out, her voice is superb) 
The ones that are bold have already been completed. :)

What are some things you would include in your bucket list or would love to do?

xx Chavelita

Age limits

This has actually been upsetting me for quite sometime. Age limits. When this comes up you may think, "oh sorry you must be ___ years of age to enter" not, "oh, honey but you are too young to even be around those people" and then be redirected to people who do not even bother to acknowledge your presence. Although my parents have not been bothered with the friends I make regardless of their age not everyone is like my parents who accept that. I'm fed up of having to create excuses or have to explain to others that so and so is my friend. Whether you are 10 or 40, if you treat me with respect then I will return the same respect back to you and honestly I find that most of my friends are older than me. The reason is that I find myself more comfortable to be around with, I can connect or at least understand their stories and you begin to see things from a different angle. Not that I have that many friends but if I were to tell anyone that I am friends with someone who is older than me they will give me odd looks and perhaps the same way with my friend's friends. Though being a family member changes the whole situation around apparently. But since when has it been a rule that you have to be friends with people your age? Or why does people automatically assume that you are a parent/child relationship? Or have to be in a relationship with a person around the same age as you? The world does not work that way. Age limits do not exist when it comes to these circumstances. I believe you should be able to spend your time with the people who are very dear to you, who are willing to make you smile or laugh on the horrible days, laugh til you pee on the good days and not be ashamed to spend time with them in public, vice versa. Start creating friendships with those who are not in your age group and I will promise you that as soon as a friendship like that flourishes you will be asking yourself "where have I been?". Get out of that comfort zone, be open-minded and learn more about people who may be different from you (and accept the differences too), and be proud of the memories you create with them. Do not imply something you do not know about.

What do you seek in a friendship?

xx Chavelita

Begin with yourself

It has been quite sometime that someone has spoken to me about happiness or mentioned the word to me. A simple adjective that can describe an emotion yet not that many people use it to describe themselves. I understand that as we get older, the view of life seems a bit obscure than what we would picture as children but just because some people put aside the things that made them happy, it should not mean you should do the same. We get this idea that we have to switch all our habits to new ones, and sometimes we end up switching our happiness and settling down for something that we do not want. Everyone tells us to grow up and to learn to be independent for when the time comes that we are not deliberately leaning our entire weight on our caregivers, but we get so accustomed of taking care of ourselves that we do not allow people to impact our lives (at least not so easily). It is seen as a sign of weakness or stubbornness for not letting someone into our lives because we were told that we have to support ourselves or else no one else will. It is depressing to see that the lack of connection within one another is slowly increasing, we avoid our issues and do not consult others for advice or a helping hand, we portray false smiles to "protect" ourselves and to draw away the attention from everyone else. People get the idea that having a problem makes them weak, that they are pestering if they tell someone, a loser for not being able to come up with the solution, and above all worthless because I will not lie I have done all these things some point in my life too. Yet I have realized that it is not the problem causing you to feel that way but it is the self perspective that you mentally molded into yourself. Before people have the time to judge one another, you tend to beat everyone to it by judging yourself and most of the time it is not even pretty thing and when people do compliment one another we have a difficult time believing it. I live in a world that everything said and done has to come with a reason or explanation because when you make a kind gesture people may think you want something out of it and when you speak wrongly of others people want to hear more because they are more likely to believe negativity over the positivity. This world is far from sun shines and butterflies as we gain more knowledge from the experiences made but we also have the choice as to how we want to see this world. You do not have to prove to anyone of your abilities or reinforce the person you are, if you have an idea of who you are and what it is that you want to achieve then that is fantastic. An idea is a great way to start the search in who you are. As simple as this sounds, there are still people discovering themselves. In my opinion, I am not certain that anyone knows about themselves inside and out. Every experience shapes that us and who we were yesterday can be a different person tomorrow. Just remember, do not be hard on yourself. Praise yourself when you can, ask when you are not certain, give out genuine smiles, and do not be mean to yourself or others.

What is something that you have discovered about yourself?

xx Chavelita