Day 30: The haircut

If you have not noticed yet, this recent May I went to the beauty salon and cut more than half of my hair off. I have been planning on cutting it short for a while now and especially with the intention of donating the hair to a charity that makes wigs, I just knew that I wanted to go short. Since I have been in middle school and high school, having long hair was the total trend. The majority of the girls would grow it out long and get trims within the year, and do not get me wrong I was the same way. It was like the girl code of goals to follow when it came to hair. The idea that long hair was pretty and short hair was underappreciated floated around the halls of my school. You just did not hear often of girls getting short hair cuts. As soon as I graduated from high school, I had went to the local salon to cut my hair because I could no longer stand the struggle of keeping up with hair that reached to my hip bone. I remember pulling my hair all the time especially when I would get out of bed, my hair would get stuck to my seat sometimes, my hair would brush my arm and I would swat at my arm thinking it was a bug, and washing it was just a nightmare! Without wanting to be wasteful, I decided to keep the hair that I had gotten snipped off so I can send it to an organization that would use my hair to make wigs with other strands of hair. Just like I had captioned on my revealing photo, I had fun with my long hair and I hope that someone else has the same fun as I did.

My first hair donation was in 2015 and now with my most recent cut in 2016, I decided to go shorter. I wanted to test out how I would look with short hair and if my haircut decided to go terribly wrong I would just have to remind myself that hair grows back. Since I am one blind chick without my glasses, during the cutting process I had no idea how my haircut was turning out. All I remember is my hair stylist using razor to cut a big chunk of my hair that I was donating and using a razor to make sure she was cutting the hair evenly. I was okay with the scissors but the razor just brought me to a whole level of stress because she would continue cutting with razor, that I was fearing that she was going to shave a side of my head. Now that I would not have the words to describe how I feel. Thankfully that was not the case. I have been very impressed with the turnout actually. Before she started to cut my hair I had shown her what kind of hair cut/hairstyle I was aiming for on my phone and even though I briefly showed it to her, she immediately had an idea of what she was going to do.

In all my haircuts, I have been known to sit there in silence. I am more of that person that would rather overhear other people conversations than to make small talk with someone that I was going to spend at most half an hour with. There is just something soothing about getting your hair cut though, the hair wash, the head massage, that liberating feeling you get when you cut a big portion of your hair that you have been so used to carrying the weight with you everyday. You end up feeling like a new person when you leave the salon. You know sometimes you just have to take risks when it comes to haircuts and see where the new look takes you. In the future I want to see if I have enough confidence to cut my hair even shorter and see if I can pull of that look. As of now, I am loving my short hair! So much easier to handle and care for. Since my hair is naturally straight after I wash my hair it's like a sleek piece of silk framing my face. I barely use my straightener anymore and I rather prefer not. Rather enjoy the all natural look and let my hair be free!

How short have you cut your hair before?

June 2015

May 2016

xx Chavelita

Day 29: PAC Leader Interview

Towards the end of my freshman year of college, I had received a text message from my protege advisory committee (PAC) leader that Mentor Tech was looking for new PAC leaders to help serve the Mentor Tech program and had mentioned how much of an asset I would be if I did decide to apply for the position. I remember sitting there holding my phone and thinking to myself of the chances that could happen if I were to go through the application process. The application was short and reflective with a recommendation letter to go with it. Mentor Tech for me was already starting to feel like my family because as a protege myself, I had gone to multiple workshops and being part of their community service program had brought a lot of me out to the public. So to be more involved with Mentor Tech was fine by me.

A few days after I had personally submitted my application to one of the unit coordinators of Mentor Tech, I received an email back stating the date and time of my interview. My PAC leader had already mentioned that there was an interview along with the application process so my initial thought about the interview was like any of the other interviews I have had. A casual sit down and chat about why I wanted to be in the program and what I wanted to bring to the program. Only thing though about that interview day is that nothing went the way I had imagined it to go. I arrived at the location a few minutes early because I believe that making a good first impression shows that you are dedicated, know how to manage your time, and that you know how to follow instructions. While I arrived we had to sign-in so I am like okay, have to sign-in in order to be counted as present. But while I was signing my name there was a column that had group numbers on them and according to the group number that you belonged to, you had to grab a name tag from the table. The name tags were mostly premade that had both the name of the applicant and the group they pertained. This is where I start to get nervous. I picked up my name tag, removed the paper so that the adhesive on the back was showing and slapped my name tag on the left side of my chest. Why the left side? Well from a workshop I had been to, the name tag should be on the left side so that when you go for a handshake (which you typically use your right hand to give out a handshake) the person you are shaking hands with is able to see your name. Well as more people started to arrive at the location, I had an idea that maybe this interview is not going to be like the rest of the interviews.

By the time everyone signed in and grabbed their name tags, the room was starting to feel hot. Now I am not sure if it was was for the fact that there was too many people or because I was nervous and wearing a blazer. There is just something about wearing professional business attire that increases my body temperature, like if you accidentally wore a sweater without anything underneath on a hot humid day assuming that the day was going to bring in rain but it doesn't. But since you do not have anything underneath you are stuck wearing the sweater for the rest of the day. That is how I felt and it was starting to make me feel anxious. Most of the groups were pretty big like four to six members per group, except my group. It was just me and two other people who coincidentally also happened to be Hispanic. I am not sure if they did that on purpose but that did not stop me from having suspicious thoughts. At least it was nice to be around other Hispanics because I find that there is not enough at my university. Also since there was this cute and kind Hispanic guy in my group too so I felt like I was already winning. This is all before instructions were being given out so me along with about thirty other potential PAC leaders were waiting awkwardly for further details.

The unit coordinator then comes and begins her shpeel and that is when we realized what was the purpose of being in a group. As a group we were asked to plan either a social event or an academic event in more or less of thirty minutes and present the idea to a panel. Each group were handed out with a sheet of paper, a large sheet of paper for brainstorming and presenting purposes, and a container of markers to write with. Given the fact that I did not know my group mates and I already had an assignment to do with them surely does play a large role of how fast you are in adjusting and producing in a short amount of time. Our group had to present a holiday event to the panel and on the sheet of paper that was given out by the unit coordinator instructs with bullet points of what to answer as we present our idea. The bullet points were pretty straightforward which asked things such as what would you call the event, how does diversity fit into the event, who you are inviting to speak, and where. The important small details that could really make a difference in planning. So on top of having to work with a group I did not know, in that same time they were calling us one by one for separate interviews. It was like an interview inception and again I had no idea who would be giving the interview out. But I am just hoping that I find the right words to answer all of their questions. 

In the middle of planning out the holiday event and sharing my ideas, one of the helpers called my name out for my separate interview. A wave of panic rushed over me and I quickly placed the sheet of paper I was holding and walked out of the common room. Slowly opening the door, I notice that not even the separate interview was one on one but more so three to one. The isolated chair signaled me to sit there and just like I always do, I try to liven up the mood so that my nervousness doesn't completely fill up the room. The questions were personal as I guessed them to be as a way to further learn about my character but there was this one question that stands out that keeps me thinking. "If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?" and at first I had to make sure I heard the question correctly so I politely asked for them to repeat the question. Confirming my doubts, I shoot the first answer that pops into my head. "I would push the blender to its side and slide out" and with that being said all three of my interviewers begin to scribble onto their papers. I do not know if I provided an efficient answer but I was able to produce a solution on the spot which I am proud of. 

Soon after my separate interview, we wrap up our holiday event. We decided to go for a Halloween social while still bringing in diversity through the different costumes brought in by different cultures. The panel interview was held in one of the larger conference room in the same building and since we were group three we were in the first half to present. Even though I was confident in our idea, I was still feeling nervous for any spontaneous questions that could have be asked that we have not prepared for. As our time arrived to present, the conference room was filled with at least fifteen staff members of Mentor Tech half in which I have not seen. The tallest member of our group held the poster and I introduced our group. I started off the presentation and I was hoping to at least get someone to laugh. If you get someone to laugh then you are golden. There was multiple moments of laughter and other times there was awkward moments of questioning but overall I find our group to have held their ground and they presented efficiently. I was honestly proud and relieved that within the hour that I have met my group mates I was able to get along with them and be able to pull in all of our ideas to create the final product. 

This whole interview process started at five o'clock in the evening and I did not get out until seven thirty or around there. The process was long and exhausting, but it was such a great learning experience. At the end of the interview day, I even took off my small heeled flats while I was walking back to my dorm because I could not stand them anymore. 

PS: I did get the position.

Which interview do you consider the most memorable?

xx Chavelita 

Day 24: Petite & Proud

Ever since I was in school, from my first day of pre-kindergarten to my last day of my senior year of high school I have been known as the short girl. I bet people who I went to school with mainly associated me as the short girl which at the time was quite annoying and I perceived as disrespectful. Out of all of what my personality and my qualities offer and the one thing that people would leave with is is the fact that I was short. Great, even I could of looked in the mirror and realize that about myself. I have lost count to the many times I came complaining to my parents about my size and how because of my size people did not take me seriously. I even thought that because I was short that the guys I was interested in would overlook me. You see, when you are short for the most part people will think that you are weak or that you may need extra help when you are out in public. People automatically assume that being short, that taller people may have the upper hand. Which is how I thought about my size and I kind of just accepted my defeat there. My genes have made me this way and there was no way I was able to change my body.

To be fair, I think I was the biggest bully to myself because before anyone had the opportunity to mention anything about my size I was already putting myself down for it. I had this mentality that if I could beat someone to the teasing then I would not have fallen so hard if someone were to come and actually make comments. I had grown such a thick layer which sometimes growing a thick layer is good but mine was so thick to the point that I started to dislike myself. The what if's came in frequent waves. "What if I was taller..." "What if people saw me for who I am, like actually saw me, rather than seeing my size and automatically judging my talents..." "What if..." I had begun to fall in love with an idea of myself and was drifting away from my actual self.

Until I had reached college, things have changed. I started to look at myself from a different angle. I had come to meet with my flaw as being short because I had come to realize that being short is part of my personality. I started to view my shortness as a unique quality of mine because even though most of the people that go to my university are pretty tall, you find yourself standing out without even trying. People usually care less about how you look like, they may still stare, but for the most part at least I did not care at that point. I began to love myself again and for the healthy body that I have been too busy overlooking. In fact that is how I met one of my good friends from college. We used to live on the same floor and she was that type of person to greet everyone in the hall until one day she came over to my room. We got acquainted and we both spoke freely about where we came from. Sometimes my friend had some pretty unfiltered thoughts and she would occasionally mention how my short figure was what made her want to be my friend and first but then when she got to know me she was grateful to have gotten to know me. So I have come to realize that being short has their privileges. You are able to sit in the middle of the suspended chairs with your friends, you are able to sit at the outer seat of rides, since I am short I needed to ride with a companion most times so I did not have to ride on my own, you are able to get child discounts if you play your cards right, you get to still shop in the girls section at department stores for a cheaper price than the actual woman's wear, and so much more which before I had thought was embarrassing.

What I needed was a change of mindset and maturity to settle with the fact that I am going to be short for the rest of my life and that if I am ever going to be happy then I must accept myself for who I am. I cannot change my body but I can change the way I perceive my body. I totally believe that our Creator has made each and everyone of us into the perfect image that they had imagined us to be. At the time I did not understand why I was made this way but now looking at myself in the mirror I see my petite figure and what comes to my mind is strength. I can totally do what tall people can do and there is nothing wrong to ask for help if I cannot reach. To not be able to reach should be the least of my worries, if I am able to climb my way up then I will. Being a short girl is not that easy but as a short girl you learn to work yourself around the unreachable and you find yourself proving not just others wrong with your capabilities but you start to prove yourself wrong too. Being short is no longer my crutch but it is my step. I am petite and I am proud.

How do you perceive your body?

xx Chavelita

Day 10: Online Dating

Not that many people know about this but when I was younger I used to go online chat rooms and meet people. Now it was not like Tindr or Skype where you get to see the person you were talking to but it was on this social media where you were able to be any character that you wanted and you would meet people there. One of my friends at the time had suggested to make myself an account so we can play together and also meet new people who shared similar interests as me. I was at that stage where I was experimenting. Not that I am proud of but I would talk to this one guy without ever acknowledging to someone until there was one day that my parents were looking through my i-Pod and found a picture of him. Half jokingly and half serious they were, I was totally embarrassed not only that they had made fun of me for having a potential boyfriend but because I knew they were not going to understand. They were not going to understand that maybe we were dating or maybe we weren't but I had enjoyed talking to him for the fact that he treated me with such respect without even having to see my face. At that moment of my life I had really low self-esteem because of my small figure and having such a young looking face, growing up not that many people took me seriously. I was not given a proper chance that I have longed to receive so I resorted to the internet. At least on the internet I was perceived as someone with confidence and I suppose I was also a catch. There was even a time where I spent so much time on the computer that I got it confiscated from me until the habit was forced out of me.

In a more recent moment, about a year ago, I had received an anonymous message from this person from this social media site that allows you to ask or say anything anonymously. Well I slightly remember him asking about some of my hobbies and what were my opinion on certain topics. I had thought this guy was pretty interesting so I wanted to know who he was. Over the months we were hitting it off really well, we started to use instant messaging and almost every other day we would message each other about our days and whatnot. The few descriptive information that I had gotten from him was that he lived in England, was a teacher assistant to grade school children, a single child with a single mother, and that he was six months younger than I am. Instead of hiding this I had told my mom directly that I was talking to someone I had met from the internet and I already knew she was going to put the red flag up and advise me to never speak to him again. But here I am thinking like I was acting like the bigger person I continued to speak with him. Not that I wanted to seek a relationship with him because that was not my intention at first especially with the distance I was not going to put myself through that. Well then comes in this long message during the night where he professed my feelings to me (I have no idea why guys continue to profess his feelings to me in long messages while I am sleeping...) and I was left awkwardly looking at the screen of my phone. I had told my mom again what he had told me and the simple advice she had given me was to ask if we could video chat so I can confirm that the picture on his profile was him. Like all of you have guessed it, it wasn't. And to be fair I did not like him for the fake picture he had, is not the attractive physical features that lure me in it's the words and the actions. So after that incident of him lying to me, I deleted the app and I have promised myself that I will no longer be making friends over the internet. If I have to continuously go through bad experiences to learn that most online dating/relationships are not for me then now that is a shame on me for not learning from my mistakes.

What I wanted for you all to get from my experience is that you may think you know the person you are speaking to online, backwards and forwards, but I do not think you will ever know a person until the day you actually meet them in person. There is so much you miss when you are busy online fishing. You miss the first impression, that awkward 'should I go for the hug or that handshake', the actual connection or disconnection with the person, basically the little things that make up a true date. I would have to agree with my mom that a relationship made online is not real. You start falling in love with the idea of that person rather than the actual person. Realizing this now I know why it was hard for me to let these guys go because I was afraid that I was not going to find someone or someone who made me feel like the best slice of cake there is. But you are just going to have to trust in yourself that you will and that it will work out. This also explains why when my friends are playing around on Tindr, I decide not to participate. I know I may be one of the pickiest people you have met when it comes to making friendships with others but that is because I have been there. Not just online but in real life too. When you think you have met the perfect person and you are proven wrong in the most unpredictable ways. I have not been great in the dating department but at least I can say that I know what I want and I am not settling down for just anyone because I know I deserve better. If you are going or went through a similar situation, remind yourself that you deserve better too because you do. And always remember to be careful when you are online never share your personal whereabouts or information even if you feel that you can trust them completely...

How has your experience in dating been lately?

xx Chavelita

What I learned in high school is...

As some of my readers are in high school already or about to go to high school, one thing that I wished that was given to me was tips or at least pointers that could benefit me in school. Being the youngest out of my two brothers and I did spend a couple of years on my own as I transitioned from elementary school onto middle school and from middle school to high school. What I have come to notice that the majority of the struggles and lessons happened when I spent those transition years alone since I did not have my brother to look after me and to constantly have me in check. And what I have learned is...

1. Take risks, join as many extracurricular activities that you possibly can because those are the moments where you learn more about your social abilities and techniques to work with others. Involve yourself in the school and do not be afraid to challenge yourself to take higher courses. 
2. Apply to colleges and scholarships as soon as you can! I started applying for college around September which allowed me plenty of times to gather all the required documents the institution needed to complete the application process. And with scholarships as well, familiarize the criteria needed because you will most likely have to write a personal essay and you would want time to write it without having a deadline haunting you.
3. If you know the answer to a question, do not be afraid to speak up. Intimidate others with your knowledge!
4. Be open to make friends, now I am not saying that you should hang out with everybody but at least get to know your peers in that way you know more or less what kind of groups you find yourself comfortable to be in
5. There will be crushes and IT IS PERFECTLY FINE! Enjoy them while they last. I will tell you all in that in all my four years of high school I had only fallen for this one guy my sophomore year and I thought we were going to become something but we never did. I feel like crushes make you alert about qualities that you would not have guessed were there about you. 
6. Makeup can you give amazing effects, but just know your skin is as young as it is going to be now so I would only use makeup on special events (besides it blows people away when you spontaneously use makeup! Also saves the hassle of removing makeup before bed and waking up early to apply)
7. People change just as much as ideas could change so allow yourself enough time to recollect yourself to move on from those individuals or ideas. Remember that change is good so long it is to beneficial for yourself
8. Gain the courage to say no without having to explain yourself. You do not have to stay in the circumstances that you are in, if you do not like what is going on and you feel uncomfortable you do have a voice, use it. It is not obligatory to stay in a situation that is only damaging you
9. Please do not hold grudges, I have hold many in the past and they will never leave unless you face them. Be able to speak to people you disagree with especially when you have to work together.
10. Do not be afraid to express your emotions. Cry if you need to. Laugh because you want to. Having total control and confidence in yourself will surely get you places anywhere
11. Talk to your teachers some of the best stories I have heard had all come from a teacher. Their stories have taught me valuable lessons in shaping the person I am today such as whenever I felt like I was doubting myself, simply listening to their own high school stories gives me an insight that it is normal and typical to feel the emotions that are occurring throughout high school
12. You do need sleep to function or else you are going to be walking with your eyes closed wishing you did not stay up so late the night before. If it is for studying reasons usually when I feel sleepy I go to sleep and wake up early before school to finish my homework so that is something to consider
13. Always carry paper and pencils, please do not be the person who is unprepared... It's just something that teachers keep in the back of their minds and I would not think you want your teacher to remember you in that way
14. Driving is a treasuring ability and will make life easier in some cases but yes it is still possible to live without knowing how to drive in high school or having a car
15. Splitting from the crowd will happen and it will be worth it, trust me you will learn so much about yourself when you spend time alone and allows you to reevaluate the goals you want to accomplish and allows you to get closer to the ideal person you want to be

If I continue on, this list of tips will turn into a massive list of instructions which is something I do not want to happen but high school is indeed different. Even graduating in a few days I still feel like there is so much to learn so do not stress yourself out if you do not know the answers to your rumbling thoughts. Usually I like to think that because we do not know the answer to our questions it is because we do not have enough knowledge or have experienced something as powerful as our questions to come up with a solution. Just have fun in high school, try to keep judgments to yourself, and keep your head looking forward. Gotta keep your eye on the prize! Fewer problems, fewer worries. When you graduate it is all going to be on you and what you think it is best for yourself as you face the real world. Remember that.

What are your thoughts on high school?

xx Chavelita

Wings should be spread, not tucked

"Where will you be going to college?"
"What will you be majoring in?"
"Are you going to miss anyone when you leave for college?"
"How do you feel?"

In a nutshell, college has been the corn of the crop in many of my conversations I have encountered with other people which to me I do not mind since I already have a set plan but it does give me a reality check of what I will be leaving behind and what there is to expect as I spread these wings of mine. I have come to notice that the comfortable life at home will no longer be filled with my mother's cooking after a long day of school or of my father's jokes when he gets home from work or not being able to see my brothers or to split paths with my best friend, this is going to be difficult for me.  I know, I know that this transition will be hard but there is one thing that I am absolutely certain of is that if I do not leave for college now in this following autumn, and actually leave my house, pack up my things and leave this comfortable bubble town I will not have the urge to leave after. I am afraid of leaving do not get me wrong, but as scared as I am, I want to be able to experience this life everyone complains about. To have the chance to inhale this new breath of life first handed without having someone telling me where to go or what to do. To commit my own mistakes and find solutions for them. The sensation to feel human and carry out my own name instead being known as the little sister.

Another thing I want to touch upon is relationships not that I am in any at the moment, but I want to let you know that going to college is your moment and no one else's. As much as I wanted to bluntly tell people you should not go to the same college as your boyfriend/girlfriend unless that is truly the first choice of your college. Do not call me a pessimist but relationships change from high school going into college. Emotions will happen that you had no idea that could be felt, the change in environment could also be a factor, and as philosophical as this is going to sound when you are in college you have a tendency to find yourself. College is probably one of the most important locations that people find out more about themselves than anywhere else because you finally have to do things that are in your benefit not in other peoples benefits. So what worked in high school may not always transfer over into your college life and before anyone begins to freak out, this is totally fine. If something does not fit in your life you are allowed to make the necessary changes to create a balance within your life.

Though on the other hand if you do maintain your long distance relationship with your high school sweetheart the one thing I would not do is suffocate them. Even being far away, entrapment can happen. Instead give them their space, message them frequently and pick a day or two out of the week to actually call or video chat with them. When I say talk to them I actually mean putting everything down, sitting down and giving your undivided attention. If you want to you can call them more to ask how they are doing but actually take a day out of your week to catch up with your partner, no one likes to be out of the loop! To listen to a familiar voice could ease the stress and could even encourage the relationship to continue. Remind each other that despite the miles of distance, the situations that will happen in life because life just loves to make any moment spontaneous when it can, that you are there for them to listen and regardless of what happens that you love them. (In my personal opinion even sending written letters are a lovely reminder. There is just something in seeing someone's handwriting in a letter that gives the effect that they are with you.) Conclusions could be drawn, but if you remind them of how much they mean to you the less they will worry you and the less you will worry. Physical touch is limited in a long distance relationship which may be the leading cause of why these relationships complicate themselves but it truly takes some strong partners who are loyal, honest, patient, and hopeful to make the relationship work. For any reason that you feel like you are doubting this relationship or your partner is drifting then that means there is some sort of lack of communication which should be fixed immediately. If you are upset just know that solving problems miles away will get difficult as each day passes so please take care of any issues, and if you have to swallow your pride, and apologize in the appropriate time frames.

College gives me mixed emotions and hopefully I am not the only one aha but just know that do not force anything if there are things that are supposed to happen they will or they may have already happened. Please do not doubt yourself this should be the time where we plunge into the deep end and experience many of the things we imagine to do when we were in high school or even when we were little kids. Stay hopeful, keep those minds open, and remember that there will always be someone out there to help you wherever you go! (Who may also be your next best friend!)

What is something that you look forward to in college?

xx Chaveltia

Bonus: Resilience

Yesterday in class, every Tuesday we have an organization called Olweus (pronounced as oh-vay-es) where they have little inspirational video clips or messages that the whole school during a certain period have to stop their course to teach the students this special lesson. Which I think it superb way to snap students back in reality and give them a dose of sanity. The assignment she had given us was to write an essay on resilience and how you see yourself, if you're resilience and to what. This blogpost I wanted to share with you what I had written:

The difficulty in today's society is the ability to distinguish between the truth and the made up. The key factor in be resilient is based on one's self esteem and just with it, it is constantly being challenged. Whether it is being attacked through interpersonal or intrapersonal relationships, many people around my age (sometimes myself even) doesn't see the other choices rather than to simply accept what is being said.

Though I am not the strongest person out of the bunch and have a bad habit of taking any commentary, good or bad, to heart, at the end of the day the only person you have to prove is yourself. Physically we have to learn to live with ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and evaluate the flaws. Turn them into weapons of success and do not forget the emotionally/mentally person you are because it is just as important to be psychologically healthy.

Pretty cliche but sometimes people have to be reminded of the obvious to take into consideration that maybe that the "obvious" is something important to be reminded of. Changes may not be the easiest or the smoothest of transitions to overcome but once they're made I am certain the view will be better than before. When the sensation that nothing is turning out as planned, that should be an immediate flag that you are going the wrong direction. Which in this case, something needs to change if you want to view different outcomes.

How does this connect to the trait of resilience? I find that what I've mentioned before such as self esteem, physically and mental preparedness, and choices are all the ingredients that are used to make resilience. For myself, I consider myself to be a resilient person who finds herself formulating choices that will be productive in any shape or form. Though resilience is a skill that needs constant checking so it would not crumble all at once, is fine by me. Everything can use a bit of fiddling to find out where you may stand and as my teacher said, "it all gets better with age". (not sure she wants to be mentioned but if you're reading this, I hope it is okay to quote you!)

Through what experiences have you been resilient to?

xx Chavelita 

Strong or stronger?

Hi everyone one, I apologize for not posting yesterday but today I was speaking to a great friend of mine and the topic of being a strong person came up. 

First of all, everyone may have problems whether they're the size of the Himalayas or as a tiny as a grain of sand, since when was asking for help a sign of weakness? Which in fact I think of as the first step of recovery, the realization that you cannot manage and need someone else because you recognize your problem whether than pushing it aside until another problem comes along and stacks on top. There is only so many problems we can stack up until the volcano erupts hurting everyone in sight. Though the beauty of an eruption is that you create new beautiful things. The truth comes up burns the surface and your new beginning gives fruit. Solving your problems opens a new window of opportunity and uplifts your mind from the fog. 

Secondly, strength is measured through the experiences you have gone through, which all of you have gone through a few. Congratulations, you're strong so stop underestimating yourself and grab the help you need or find the conclusion to your issue yourself and prove that you can overcome that obstacle. Please stop hiding the fact that you may be tearing apart inside, there is always someone out there who is willing to listen to you and although they made not give you the proper advice just know that you're not alone. Think of that support system I've mentioned a few days ago and build yourself up from there. 

Lastly, starting something new is always the greatest struggle but as the days go by what may seem so difficult a few days ago, is now somewhat bearable. Be patient, like I told my friend everything happens for a reason and instead of searching for that answer that you stubbornly try to solve, try to find a way to the answer. Answers come through experience, so eventually that experience will come along and you'll find the answer you've been looking for. It is okay to not know something, that's the lovely thing about learning. (Honestly the more you know, the more you question...) Do not just sit there and think of the millions of possibilities, you will only overwhelm yourself and not get anywhere. Turn the page of your story, accept the things you can't change and continue moving forward with the things you can change. 

I don't want to see anyone struggling alone, I hope this helps. 

Reminder, take care of yourself before you can take care of others. 

What is a obstacle in your life that you overcame and how did you feel afterwards?

xx Chavelita 

How much are you covering?

"Who are you impressing today?"

Is like every time I do my hair I am asked that. Wearing good looking clothes? You're asked the same question. Wearing clothes out of your normal style? The question pops up once again. Wearing makeup or putting a little bit of extra accessories on? Exactly.

My answer? I do not dress to impress.

Now that answer may have different definitions.

1. I can careless as to what I wear.
2. I can careless about what people think of what I wear, it is for my self benefit and comfort.
3. Since when did I start to impress others?
4. At least I am dressed and not getting tickets for public disturbance. 

I dress the way I am to represent the person I am and sometimes the person I am likes to change things up a bit. Just as repeating that question over and over again can get tiring, repeating the same look can get tiring. A bit of change is healthy. Being in the comfort zone can get a bit stuffy and we need to get out for some fresh air filled with new ideas. To remove yourself out of the comfort zone is already difficult as it is, so why must someone make it more difficult to question our actions? Do not assume that the changes made is not the main purpose of impressing others or for a particular someone, but more to prove that you are much more than the person people may think you are. And if you are impressing someone, I am sure they will be stunned either way. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy whether it is the new suede pumps you bought, lipstick in the shade of purple, or a tight attire to emphasis your figure. Instead of people implying that you look beautiful/handsome, they should just straightly tell you (come on, why else would they ask?). I think people may ask this overused question is because they wish they could do the same thing you are doing, and that is to not be afraid of wanting to wear what they liked and bought. Just as negativity could be infectious, positive outputs could also strike chords. It all depends on how the person decides to view it though so be patient. They will soon realize that they could also dress to not impress. For now just ignore the question and do not let it stop you, each fashion trend has to start out someway, right?




What is your favorite piece of clothing/makeup/accessory that makes you stand out from others and make you happy?

xx Chavelita

Why are you so confident?

Yes I was on Ask.Fm again, and yes there is still some disrespectful people on there but that is the wrong blogpost, as I was getting ready for bed someone sends me this question, "Why are you so pretty and confident!!" Although there is no question mark found in that sentence I couldn't stop blushing. I was a bit starstruck you can say to an anonymous. And I replied,

"I'm pretty because of my genes (don't ask what in my weird mind made me say that) and I'm guessing my personality aha and I'm confident because I'm tired of people taking others for granted and not speaking up for themselves (that used to be me). So I try to present the image of a confident lady so I inspire others to be confident in themselves. Embrace yourself, flaunt your flaws and someone will come along and love you for who you are. It's all in my blog honestly. And thank you. :)"

I wanted to elaborate more on that response because confidence is something that we all struggle to gain. Some days our confidence level is at the brim ready to spill out and other days we barely have any confidence to even leave the house. Confidence is hard. I am not going to lie or sugarcoat. There are days that I stare myself in the mirror and wonder what people see in me or notice in just that short glimpse. Not much other than my physical features such as I am a short female with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I feel people at first impression only see maybe ten percent of the person you are. The rest of the ninety percent is all formulated through experiences, stories, and memories. So it wouldn't be fair to compare your whole one hundred percent on someone else's ten percent. You are not giving yourself a chance nor are you giving the other person a chance. I know looks can be deceiving, people's behavior can be confusing, and meeting people for the first time can be a bit of a plot twist. Though we are not all perfect, even those who may be bubbly most of the time face similar issues so please do not compare yourself or create assumptions that they have it better. With confidence comes power and without confidence comes with insecurities. In my opinion, I would rather have a little bit of power than a whole load of insecurities. Insecurities are like the Thursday's in my life in a school week, it would feel like a Friday but you still have another day to go until the weekend. You have to learn to live with your insecurities, become best friends to the point where you know them inside and out that allows you to gain your own voice. Then maybe the ten percent that you are allowing people to see will become an eleven percent or higher.

The way I gain confidence is learning from my previous mistakes and how uncomfortable and frustrating they caused me at the time. I remember going to church one day with my family and we went to a different mass than the one we normally go to and my luck I was sitting next to someone I did not know. I would of not mind other than the fact that the man would not give me my personal space. I kindly pushed him away but he kept pushing back. My mom noticed how uncomfortable I was so she switched seats with me and told the man what he was doing. I wish I had spoken up that day...

One of the largest pet peeves is when people instead of asking me to help them on homework (which I would try my best in doing) ask me for the answers. I am no homework bank where I can reproduce you the work at any given moment for no cost. It's probably the only time where I am noticed from others around my age group and it aggravates me. Though do not do what I did and question, "why am I so different from everyone else? why don't I fit in?". You do fit in somewhere, maybe not with the group you think you did but somewhere else and I will tell you when you find your group you will feel so much better. Your self image will bloom and you will laugh at those people searching for other sources of gaining their work. Do not lower your standards to people who will not live up to them, change because of your own benefit.

What is something that annoys you about people?



xx Chavelita

That awkward moment when we all succeed...

How come some people like to state the obvious? "Hey you're short!" "Did you see the size of that pimple on that person's face?" Why is it that we create judgements before we have the time to get to know the person for who they really are? It seems a bit unfair if you ask me, call me a hypocrite because I do it too but instead of pointing out the negatives why not the positives or point something that you do not normally see in someone?

To distinguish the traits of others is beautiful for the fact that you are recognizing for the person they are, though when the gossip begins it is not only destroying the image of that person but your image. Whatever it is that you do, reflects back. Not all the time when you do a kind gesture you will get a kind reflection back but it should not stop you to continue those gestures. People are forgetting what it is to be nice to others, that when you do something nice in return they think that it is because you want something in return. One of the worst phrases I have been hearing more often is, "It's okay, I am used to it." No it's not okay that people treat you like dirt, it's not okay when someone abuses your rights or does not give you an equal opportunity like others, IT'S NOT OKAY TO TAKE LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE. If you put enough effort in what you do, you should not be the one having to bust your ass for others incompetence. Yes you should help others, but not until the point where you find yourself having to pull everyone else's weight because that is not your job. If people are not willing to take things into serious manners and not work for the position they want, it is their failure not yours. Do not take the fall for someone else, that will only underestimate the talents you are presenting and people will only assume that they can take you for granted. Be confident speak up when you do not like something, be open-minded to what is being said but not gullible that you will believe in everything you hear, be kind to remind people that kindness still exist, and love yourself for every flaw that you may not like and use it as your super power to defeat those who point them out. If you are already acquainted with your weakness, then it is a head start to happiness in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Be proud of who you are, forget those who makes you feel little, and if you need to start over, then start over. Prove to people of what you are capable of. Nothing is more accomplishing than astonishing those put you down and told you that you would not go far. You have to believe in yourself, before others begin to believe in you. Only you know the path in which you want to take, everything else will either help you get there or distract you from your destination, keep your eyes open and keep moving forward.

PS. It is up to you how you want to view things, nothing is one sided.


What is the first thing you notice in someone you are not familiar with?



xx Chavelita