Day 17: Learning how to drive

This summer I have made a promise with myself that I was going to learn how to drive. Not saying that I want to be the best driver there is but decent enough to know that if I were to have to hop into a car and drive at any moment then I can. I do not think I would mind to be the designated driver especially since I may be the last one among my friends to reach twenty-one, the legal age to drink here in the United States, and I would be the sober one to remember everything they may have done. Have you ever seen that picture where they have the description of the mom friend, the sister/brother friend, and the dad friend? Well I would consider myself that mom friend. I always want to make sure that my friends are doing okay and I am constantly concern about them even if there is nothing to be concerned about. I find that it is to my motherly (without kids) instinct of mine to bring up potential risks and measures that could be taken to insure the safety of others. Which is quite ironic saying that I am typically the youngest among my friends.

Well today as promised by my dad, he allowed me to drive in the empty parking lot of my old high school. Out of context I may have appeared to be a careless driver doing donuts, because my old high school is found on a busy street with the majority of shopping centers held local restaurants, but I was actually just trying to learn how to get behind the wheel. And a little bit over the wheel... In fact this has been my first official time driving because the first time I was allowed behind the wheel I went down my own street. What a joy ride that was! In this practice trip I was actually able to do turns, practice u-turns, practice my parking skills, and how to keep the van straight without it favoring one side over the next. I find the fact that the van I grew up in was the van I was actually learning to drive in. All the memories of being the backseat driver or the passenger co-pilot and now I was the one making the actual calls. First time parking regularly I was able to get in between the lines of the parking space which I was proud of myself to do until I was instructed to reverse park the van. If there was cars nearby I would of probably of crashed into them. Reverse parking is a whole other story of its own and it did not help that I am short and I was not able to entirely see the back of the van. If I knew how to use my mirrors more efficiently then I would have probably done better but I simply bombed those reverse parking.

Overall driving today was really fun. I was not at all scared mainly for the fact that I was the only one in the parking lot but I felt more in control. I have always wanted to learn how to drive even in high school because of the independence. To depend on someone has brought in so much anxiety and stress so if I am able to drive then I would take away some of that stress. I can rely on others to a certain extent, but if I can find a way to learn to do it myself then I would and I will. At times it may seem selfish but I just see is as a form of surviving. My parents have supported me from ends meet but I feel like this is the time where I want to support  myself more. College will be there and my parents won't so it's a nice skill to learn how to drive. I am excited to continue learning! Then the next goal is to be the one driving my parents around whenever I can for all the times they have.

If you have started, how has your driving experience been?

xx Chavelita

Day 14: How my love for volunteering started

When I was a junior in high school, I had started to this prestigious educational program called International Baccalaureate. I have spoken about this program previously so to some of you it should be familiar but basically this program has taught me to be a well-rounded person. In high school I was shy to join organizations and even less to be an officer to any organizations. But as a requirement to stay in the program I had to do a community service project for a year and half. So basically for a year and a half straight I had to do community service on top of the jam packed assignments and homework that had to be done. I was concerned that I was not going to be able to complete the community service aspect of the program and thus lead me to be expelled from the program. Funny how I look back it now, the one thing that worried the most was the thing that I enjoyed the most from the program. Both of my English teachers always had an eye on us and would give us resources and tools to succeed. One in particular was that they invited Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to come speak and recruit members to help out their non-profit organization promote awareness of the dangers of drunk driving and taking drugs then driving. Always curious to learn more I decided to give MADD a chance to be my community service project. Throughout that whole year and a half of serving the community, I have gone to multiple locations to give presentations, listen to presentations, go to workshops to learn more about the current issues and dangers that are happening in the community with drugs and alcohol, participated in the annual walk that MADD hosts in September, went to an Easter festival to spread the word for MADD, and go to fundraising events.

There was this one presentation in particular that I went to and my supervisor had to give her talk in Spanish. Which she was not bad at speaking Spanish but you can tell it was not her first language. Parts of the conversations I had to translate but that was not the point. The stories that you hear from the community is what gets to you. This lady had lost her loved one to a drunk driver and she was left to take care of the kids. A lot of people when you tell them not drink and drive they will just give that typical nod and yeah yeah, I know. Sometimes I just want to tell them no you do not know. You do not know until you actually sit down and listen to the actual causes and the victims that have been caught in the mess of drunk driving. Until you hear the stories coming from other people then I feel like a lot of people's attitudes are not going to change until they experience the emotions caused by one. Which is something MADD is trying to prevent from happening and which is why MADD holds a place for their victims to be able to cope with their loss and for some to come share their stories. I also remember there was this speaker who came to speak at one of our meetings and he had damaged a part of his brain from the impact of the crash he had while not wearing a seat belt. So how many stories do you need to hear to be aware of the dangers of drunk driving? Just because you do not hear about them as often, does not mean they do not happen.

I ended up becoming one of the presidents to the lead the MADD group at my school and I grew close to my supervisor who has been an absolute joy to work with. My experience with MADD has been so phenomenal to be part of that when I finished my year and half I just knew I could not just leave. I had liked the person I have become and I was not ready to just dismiss her. After high school I continued to serve my community through MADD and to this day I still find it important that drinking while intoxicated should be educated.

When I got to college I had already known that I had to do community service. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. To go to school and do community service on my free time was how I grew accustomed in high school and the habit kind of just stuck with me. I joined Mentor Tech by filling out an application online, was assigned my mentor who became such a great friend and supporter of mine that I even asked if she can continue being my mentor in which she said "of course", and I met my Protege Advisory Committee (PAC) leader who has been so kind and helpful with me this first year of college. Later that year I joined Mentor Tech Student Organization (MTSO) and found my community service family. This program was exactly what was missing from my college experience. I met many people who felt just as passionate as I did to give their time to help their community become a better place for the future. And I did not just stop there but I ran for Historian my first semester of college, did not get it but I did run which is nothing I have done before. So I pat myself on the back for that moment. After a few months has passed and I put together an event to bring high school students onto campus, that motivated me to run for officer again this time for secretary. So as of now I am the current secretary of MTSO. My PAC leader also had recommended me to apply to become a PAC leader myself because she saw qualities that just would fit nicely so I applied and I got my interview. Towards the end of the year at the Mentor Tech banquet they announced the names of the future PAC leader of 2016 - 2017 and I had made the cut.

Whenever I think about how far I have gotten I like to thank MADD for preparing me to open my heart and reach out to others. It's a bit terrifying at first to go into the unknown and not know what the next step would be but there just times that we should take chances in ourselves and see where that leads us. Now I cannot see myself not doing community service, it became a part of me and I hope that when I am older I continue to serve the community. Maybe not the same way as doing non-profit but through my profession as a psychologist.

When was the last time you have done community service?

xx Chavelita

Day 7: Shadowing Program Event Success

The Shadowing Program Event was an opportunity given to me with such high responsibilities. I remember I went to a fundraising event for Mentor Tech Student Organization (the organization that I currently do community service with), this was before I became the secretary for the organization. The former president had given me a proposition to be in charge of the The Shadowing Program Event. For a while now I have been hearing about this program but that was all, just a mere idea without any action placed to make it happen, at least not yet. The goal of this event was to bring students from a local high school to the university but with a twist. Normally when people come to a university it is to see the exterior of the university and experience how the atmosphere would be if you do decide to commit to that institution. Important as that is because that is how I fell in love with my university for the first time, visiting, but there was just something missing. Like drinking a glass of lemonade and realizing that more sugar is needed to balance out the sourness. A balance was needed and that is where the program came into play. The Shadowing Program Event in addition brought the element of allowing the high school students to experience the whole college experience, inside and out, by having a mentor to follow along their day including where they may stay and attend classes with them.

This program had me drawn from the start and I knew I had to get my hands on this. If I had this opportunity to get a feel of how college was really going to be during high school, the inside and outs, then I would have definitely signed myself up. With this in mind, I accepted the proposition and I immediately started to get in contact with the high school teacher that was in charge of the students who would be attending, her name was Elizabeth Duran but as her students would call her, Coach Duran or Ms. Duran. I have met Coach Duran for the first time this year and she is just one of those teachers that you instantly find yourself sharing your life story with. Really easy to speak to, easy to get along with, and her passion to teach, no wonder why her students love her to death. It was a real delight to have her as my partner to bring this program to life. For the program we had, Advancement Via Individual Determination or also known as, AVID students attend the university but I hope that if there is a next time, that we branch out to more students who are not just in AVID but who are simply interested in the possibility of living that college life. If anything, I want to be able to provide the maximum support to students who may know or who are still thinking of what they want to do with their future because I know how terrifying things get once when you graduate from high school and you have to think about the next step to take with your life. Even for students who do not consider college as their first step out of high school, I believe they should participant in the program to solidify their decision that college is not right for them. Just like any parent would say, how do you know if you do not like it if you have never tried?

Whenever I can, I like to motivate students to get a higher education. I know after twelve years of going to school where the government forced us to complete, the last thing some would want to do is go to school for another four years, or more, to get a higher education. But seeking a higher education is important! Many situations are changing, social revolutions are happening, technology is advancing, people are pronouncing their identities to the world, to say the least people are starting to speak up whether we are ready or not to listen. What should have been said but was once afraid to share, are being laid out on the table. The twenty-first century is by far as I consider, the resurrection of the lost voices and as us millennials we need to look out for one another. In order to participate, that higher education is needed. The world is becoming a tougher place to obtain a job with just a high school diploma, heck, with a bachelor's degree things are still looking rough. There was this quote that I saw that set things in perspective for me, I cannot recall what the quote said word by word, but basically the quote stated how leaders of the world are those that you went to high school with. Now not as literal as the quote takes it but the leaders can be those who are roughly around the same age group as we are. Mind blowing, right? I still have a hard time believing that even in our teen years going into young adulthood, we can have such a great impact to formulate the kind of world we want to live in. Generation X, the generation before us, are starting to get older and soon enough us millennials are in need to take over. So it's best to be prepared and give this world the hand it needs when our time comes.

I got a little bit carried away, didn't I? Well going back to the Shadowing Program, this event took about a month to coordinate. It was not so much the planning that stressed me out because honestly planning is something I enjoy doing but some of my mentors had dropped out days before the launch of the event. Thankfully some of my mentors were willing to take multiple students with them to class or else I would have to go and look for more mentors with the time I did not have. The day of the event I was so excited, that the same excitement one would have the day before a field trip. I woke up that morning with such purpose that if this event were to go as plan and the students and my mentors took the opportunity seriously, my little heart would be very content. Seeing my mentors and the students come in, it was starting to click, this program is actually happening! Although I was not able to take any students with me to class being able to spectate was good enough for me. I was able to talk to multiple AVID students, share a bit of my stories as a freshman in college and learn a little bit more about the students. Such an ambitious bunch I must say. There was this student in particular that I had spoken with during lunch about how she was upset that she had to compete with this new girl who came into school with her for ranking and it totally reminded of me in high school! Which I found it really interesting that I could share that experience with her and that I am able to meet the future leaders who want to take that extra step.

Overall the Shadowing Program was a success! The event went as plan, the students came back to the Student Union Building excited for college and the mentors grew a quick connection with their students. Contact information were being shared and hugs were given out. Unbelievably amazing! To share this moment is why I enjoy doing volunteer work. The pay is not what I am interested in, it's how I can give to the community and how to benefit others. This day sure went into the books. Thank you Coach Duran for trusting in me to make this happen!

Would the Shadowing Program be something you are interested in participating or wish you participated in?

xx Chavelita

Day 4: L.O.V.E.?

The idea of falling in love with someone has indeed been on my mind, but do I really do anything to pursue it? Not really. Also for the fact that I do not think love can be pursued at least in people they can't. I remember in high school telling myself, "That is okay I am sure I will find someone who will surpass my small figure and will love me for who I am in college. Love is certainly will be different in college, more mature and worthwhile!" I was right about one thing, love is certainly different in college, but there are not all mature as I thought they would be. In fact, falling in love in college has been a challenge and I am not only speaking on my behalf. Take me for an example. When you are barely getting into college there is this application that could be downloaded on your phone called School App and the essential purpose for that app is to meet people who have been admitted to the college of your choice and have decided to also attend that fall semester with you. You have limited access time on the app because then the following individuals that are accepted next year take over the app. Well one day feeling homesick because I had no one to speak Spanish to, I posted on the app "Where was my hispanic people at?", like I own all hispanic people, and surely I had gotten like at least 10 comments from that post. Half joking and half serious, I was not expecting to get so much activity on that post. There was this guy who decided to private message me on the app and we started talking in Spanish. We decided to meet each other for lunch one day so we can properly meet each other and share more of our stories with one another. I arrived a little early so I sat on a bench to wait for him, then there comes this rather dark skin guy in one of the t-shirts that were given in freshman orientation and I asked if he was the one had been messaging me on the app in which he replied with yes. It would of been a nice day that day... If only he were to stay. When we got into the dining hall in one of the dormitories, I decided to go my own separate way to get my food and I assumed we would meet later. So waiting there like a hopeful freshman straight out of high school waiting for better things to happen, where I actually thought I had a chance with this guy, he leaves. I have no clue where he had gone to that day, but I did eat by myself that day.

So maybe he was a dill hole that day for automatically judging me and not giving me a chance but I simply brushed it off. I applauded myself for actually trying and seeing where this experience would have taken me. So for those who are hopeful to find their love in college, I do not want to rain on your parade and say that they are not there because who knows what will happen. None of the days I have had in college were the same. Something new was always happening but I just want to say that love will not be knocking on your door and say, "Hey hey hey friend! Think fast here comes your soulmate!" I still believe that when you stop looking for love, that love will find you but if you are looking for something to happen overnight then good luck! I was talking about this with a friend from high school actually who similarly been in the position I have been in for quite sometime. Both have not dated, no first kiss, etc. etc. but sometimes it is not entirely the case that we have yet to find the right guy that swoons us but there are still things to do before we get someone else involved with our lives. I know not every person is that way but there are people who think that way and I feel it is important to acknowledge that. We have society constantly pressuring us in finding someone to settle down with but when you are barely reaching your twenties or are in your twenties you are still figuring yourself out. I feel like society's definition of love comes from two pieces of hard material with paper in between, written in black and white. Only they forget that love could be seen in so many different ways.

If you want to have some alone time then you should and society should not have to be breathing down your neck for the decisions you make. It is your life, you are in control of what happens to it. The thought of settling down with someone at such an early time still blows my mind but I am not here to tell you what to do. If you find that someone you do what you feel it is best for you and them. If you want to stay independent then that should also be accepted. No one was given a manual as to how to love one another or ourselves, so who has the right to tell you are doing it wrong?

I had another conversation related to love with a really good religious friend of mine from high school. He is that type of friend where you can go for weeks without talking to but if you need a shoulder to lean on, he is your guy. Regardless of the day or time, he tries his best to help out in any way that he can. Which I deeply appreciate our special friendship because he sure brings a lot of clarity when I am overthinking about the simple. One night we were talking about our motivation to continue worshiping our heavenly Father and how compassion has a major role to our direction of learning about ourselves and what really makes us feel human. So here is a snippet of our conversation, hopefully it brings some wisdom like it did to me.

Me: So do you think through the same compassion is how one learns the meaning of loving and how to love one another just as God loves each and every one of us?
Him: Loving is in you. It's perception and perspective. You can see it in other people but I think only you can convince yourself of or from it.
Me: So why do you think some people make love complicated?
Him: I think all people make it complicated. It's just wiring when it comes to trusting someone and making yourself vulnerable.

So why am I bringing up the topic of love again? For a few weeks I had lost my faith in love and it is not something I am ready to talk about in full detail yet but to have nice reminders of what the capacity of love can do to someone is remarkable. Love can come in all different ways, shapes, and forms whether it is a lovely message from a friend, donating to charity, or rescuing an animal from the shelter, sometimes we do need that reminder that love is not entirely lost but our definition is simply changing and adapting to the person we are becoming. Not everyone is going to agree with your definition but you will know when the right person also agrees with your definition and adds more examples to strengthen your meaning. Give it time. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your needs. Nothing wrong in treating yo self!

What is that one thing, someone, place, or animal that has changed your definition of love?

xx Chavelita

Day 16: What I miss...

Overall I miss having my family living under the same roof...

Since I am the youngest in the family, I basically saw my brothers growing older and soon leaving the house as they graduated while I still had a few years myself to finish up my high school career. I still remember my brothers and I we were walking to Walmart and on the way there just out of no where my oldest brother was really content that he would be the first one to finish school while my other brother in his voice I can sense a bit of jealousy. Then there was me also jealous and hurt to be the one left out. No one really warned me that being the youngest would be hard and weird because while your older siblings are out there figuring out their lives in the world, you're left behind growing up on your own and even watching your parents grow older as well. I think the youngest siblings are the ones who grow to be more sensitive because we tend to grow more attached to our parents since they're the ones who tend to be there the most.

On the other hand though, there are perks to being the youngest. You learn from your older siblings mistakes and you actually bond more with your parents now that there is more one on one time. My brothers pass down advice to me so that I wouldn't commit the same mistakes they did and told me to apply myself differently and more efficiently in the future. Just growing up with brothers, I grew up with the idea of how men are supposed to treat women and now I am aware of what I should look for in a guy, what qualities to avoid, and how I should to speak to a guy. I learned to become more independent, to be strong, to treasure all the wonderful things while they last, to set my own goals and achieve them. If you were to asked me a year ago if I was able to manage taking care of my mom on my own and vice versa, then I would tell you no, but when you're left with only one choice you end up taking the wheel, winging it as you go.

Just want you all to know that do not take family for granted whether you are living with your immediate family or not, cherish every moment you have together as a family. When you're young yeah it may seem like graduating is centuries away and getting your apartment is another pair of years but trust me when I say this, those years will pass so quickly that you are left with only the memories to fall back on, make sure they are memories worth smiling and crying for.

What do you miss?

xx Chavelita

Day 10: Future psychologist

Throughout the time I was in high school in the back of my mind I already had the idea of becoming a psychologist. Maybe even younger I wanted to become a psychologist I just didn't know that there was an actual profession to what I wanted to do. Now what specialty I wanted to be in the psychology field that I spent quite some time considering which one best fit me but I had this feeling that I was meant to be a psychologist. In my nature I wanted to help people in someway and what I have learned that simply using my words I was able to gain the trust of people and assist them without making them feel pressured or uncomfortable to tell me. Do not get me wrong if I had a choice to speak or not, I wouldn't be talking. Yet with psychology it gives me a reason to speak even more so to talk and express new ideas that may be beneficial for others. Talking to people may seem like a job that anybody can do but you have to be careful with your word choice. You have to be tactful, considerate, and be as unbiased as you can with your patience to be able to get the most genuine information that you can. This is probably why I had plenty of people tell me that being a psychologist is a job everyone wants to do that is easy or when people are not sure what they want to do as career. So in other words, I was getting this idea that being a psychologist was kind of like this place holder to buy more time to figure out the desired career. Yet, psychology is my desired career... I do not see myself doing anything else other than making a profession in psychology, a clinical psychologist to be more specific. To work along side a psychiatrist and learn more about mental disorders, even if I may spend the rest of my life researching new information and discovering new topics of human behavior through studies, that I wouldn't mind doing. Learning about the human behavior and the mind is intriguing and since psychology is probably one of the youngest sciences to be learning from, then that still opens up to the endless amount of knowledge that we may not know yet.

With my fear of blood and my lack of not thinking on the spot, being a doctor or a nurse was already out of the question. Coming from a family of nurses, I appreciate my mom's and my uncles' career as a nurse and I understand that it takes patience and strength but that was just not my calling. On the other hand I had a uncle on my dad's side that suggested that I should become a psychiatrist, learn medicine and treat people who is struggling through that form. Though my plan did not include medicine and I understand that I will learn that different medicines to use and the recommended dosages but I do not see myself writing prescriptions to medicines that I may not even believe in. I wouldn't be able to live with myself to be paid a bit more to promote medicine from companies for medicine that completely changes the individual. Medicine may work in some cases, do not get me wrong, but I still see medicine as a last resort in treating people. I am pretty sure there are plenty of alternatives to treat mental disorders, we just haven't discovered it yet. 

What is your dream career?

xx Chavelita

What I learned in high school is...

As some of my readers are in high school already or about to go to high school, one thing that I wished that was given to me was tips or at least pointers that could benefit me in school. Being the youngest out of my two brothers and I did spend a couple of years on my own as I transitioned from elementary school onto middle school and from middle school to high school. What I have come to notice that the majority of the struggles and lessons happened when I spent those transition years alone since I did not have my brother to look after me and to constantly have me in check. And what I have learned is...

1. Take risks, join as many extracurricular activities that you possibly can because those are the moments where you learn more about your social abilities and techniques to work with others. Involve yourself in the school and do not be afraid to challenge yourself to take higher courses. 
2. Apply to colleges and scholarships as soon as you can! I started applying for college around September which allowed me plenty of times to gather all the required documents the institution needed to complete the application process. And with scholarships as well, familiarize the criteria needed because you will most likely have to write a personal essay and you would want time to write it without having a deadline haunting you.
3. If you know the answer to a question, do not be afraid to speak up. Intimidate others with your knowledge!
4. Be open to make friends, now I am not saying that you should hang out with everybody but at least get to know your peers in that way you know more or less what kind of groups you find yourself comfortable to be in
5. There will be crushes and IT IS PERFECTLY FINE! Enjoy them while they last. I will tell you all in that in all my four years of high school I had only fallen for this one guy my sophomore year and I thought we were going to become something but we never did. I feel like crushes make you alert about qualities that you would not have guessed were there about you. 
6. Makeup can you give amazing effects, but just know your skin is as young as it is going to be now so I would only use makeup on special events (besides it blows people away when you spontaneously use makeup! Also saves the hassle of removing makeup before bed and waking up early to apply)
7. People change just as much as ideas could change so allow yourself enough time to recollect yourself to move on from those individuals or ideas. Remember that change is good so long it is to beneficial for yourself
8. Gain the courage to say no without having to explain yourself. You do not have to stay in the circumstances that you are in, if you do not like what is going on and you feel uncomfortable you do have a voice, use it. It is not obligatory to stay in a situation that is only damaging you
9. Please do not hold grudges, I have hold many in the past and they will never leave unless you face them. Be able to speak to people you disagree with especially when you have to work together.
10. Do not be afraid to express your emotions. Cry if you need to. Laugh because you want to. Having total control and confidence in yourself will surely get you places anywhere
11. Talk to your teachers some of the best stories I have heard had all come from a teacher. Their stories have taught me valuable lessons in shaping the person I am today such as whenever I felt like I was doubting myself, simply listening to their own high school stories gives me an insight that it is normal and typical to feel the emotions that are occurring throughout high school
12. You do need sleep to function or else you are going to be walking with your eyes closed wishing you did not stay up so late the night before. If it is for studying reasons usually when I feel sleepy I go to sleep and wake up early before school to finish my homework so that is something to consider
13. Always carry paper and pencils, please do not be the person who is unprepared... It's just something that teachers keep in the back of their minds and I would not think you want your teacher to remember you in that way
14. Driving is a treasuring ability and will make life easier in some cases but yes it is still possible to live without knowing how to drive in high school or having a car
15. Splitting from the crowd will happen and it will be worth it, trust me you will learn so much about yourself when you spend time alone and allows you to reevaluate the goals you want to accomplish and allows you to get closer to the ideal person you want to be

If I continue on, this list of tips will turn into a massive list of instructions which is something I do not want to happen but high school is indeed different. Even graduating in a few days I still feel like there is so much to learn so do not stress yourself out if you do not know the answers to your rumbling thoughts. Usually I like to think that because we do not know the answer to our questions it is because we do not have enough knowledge or have experienced something as powerful as our questions to come up with a solution. Just have fun in high school, try to keep judgments to yourself, and keep your head looking forward. Gotta keep your eye on the prize! Fewer problems, fewer worries. When you graduate it is all going to be on you and what you think it is best for yourself as you face the real world. Remember that.

What are your thoughts on high school?

xx Chavelita

Wings should be spread, not tucked

"Where will you be going to college?"
"What will you be majoring in?"
"Are you going to miss anyone when you leave for college?"
"How do you feel?"

In a nutshell, college has been the corn of the crop in many of my conversations I have encountered with other people which to me I do not mind since I already have a set plan but it does give me a reality check of what I will be leaving behind and what there is to expect as I spread these wings of mine. I have come to notice that the comfortable life at home will no longer be filled with my mother's cooking after a long day of school or of my father's jokes when he gets home from work or not being able to see my brothers or to split paths with my best friend, this is going to be difficult for me.  I know, I know that this transition will be hard but there is one thing that I am absolutely certain of is that if I do not leave for college now in this following autumn, and actually leave my house, pack up my things and leave this comfortable bubble town I will not have the urge to leave after. I am afraid of leaving do not get me wrong, but as scared as I am, I want to be able to experience this life everyone complains about. To have the chance to inhale this new breath of life first handed without having someone telling me where to go or what to do. To commit my own mistakes and find solutions for them. The sensation to feel human and carry out my own name instead being known as the little sister.

Another thing I want to touch upon is relationships not that I am in any at the moment, but I want to let you know that going to college is your moment and no one else's. As much as I wanted to bluntly tell people you should not go to the same college as your boyfriend/girlfriend unless that is truly the first choice of your college. Do not call me a pessimist but relationships change from high school going into college. Emotions will happen that you had no idea that could be felt, the change in environment could also be a factor, and as philosophical as this is going to sound when you are in college you have a tendency to find yourself. College is probably one of the most important locations that people find out more about themselves than anywhere else because you finally have to do things that are in your benefit not in other peoples benefits. So what worked in high school may not always transfer over into your college life and before anyone begins to freak out, this is totally fine. If something does not fit in your life you are allowed to make the necessary changes to create a balance within your life.

Though on the other hand if you do maintain your long distance relationship with your high school sweetheart the one thing I would not do is suffocate them. Even being far away, entrapment can happen. Instead give them their space, message them frequently and pick a day or two out of the week to actually call or video chat with them. When I say talk to them I actually mean putting everything down, sitting down and giving your undivided attention. If you want to you can call them more to ask how they are doing but actually take a day out of your week to catch up with your partner, no one likes to be out of the loop! To listen to a familiar voice could ease the stress and could even encourage the relationship to continue. Remind each other that despite the miles of distance, the situations that will happen in life because life just loves to make any moment spontaneous when it can, that you are there for them to listen and regardless of what happens that you love them. (In my personal opinion even sending written letters are a lovely reminder. There is just something in seeing someone's handwriting in a letter that gives the effect that they are with you.) Conclusions could be drawn, but if you remind them of how much they mean to you the less they will worry you and the less you will worry. Physical touch is limited in a long distance relationship which may be the leading cause of why these relationships complicate themselves but it truly takes some strong partners who are loyal, honest, patient, and hopeful to make the relationship work. For any reason that you feel like you are doubting this relationship or your partner is drifting then that means there is some sort of lack of communication which should be fixed immediately. If you are upset just know that solving problems miles away will get difficult as each day passes so please take care of any issues, and if you have to swallow your pride, and apologize in the appropriate time frames.

College gives me mixed emotions and hopefully I am not the only one aha but just know that do not force anything if there are things that are supposed to happen they will or they may have already happened. Please do not doubt yourself this should be the time where we plunge into the deep end and experience many of the things we imagine to do when we were in high school or even when we were little kids. Stay hopeful, keep those minds open, and remember that there will always be someone out there to help you wherever you go! (Who may also be your next best friend!)

What is something that you look forward to in college?

xx Chaveltia