Day 29: PAC Leader Interview

Towards the end of my freshman year of college, I had received a text message from my protege advisory committee (PAC) leader that Mentor Tech was looking for new PAC leaders to help serve the Mentor Tech program and had mentioned how much of an asset I would be if I did decide to apply for the position. I remember sitting there holding my phone and thinking to myself of the chances that could happen if I were to go through the application process. The application was short and reflective with a recommendation letter to go with it. Mentor Tech for me was already starting to feel like my family because as a protege myself, I had gone to multiple workshops and being part of their community service program had brought a lot of me out to the public. So to be more involved with Mentor Tech was fine by me.

A few days after I had personally submitted my application to one of the unit coordinators of Mentor Tech, I received an email back stating the date and time of my interview. My PAC leader had already mentioned that there was an interview along with the application process so my initial thought about the interview was like any of the other interviews I have had. A casual sit down and chat about why I wanted to be in the program and what I wanted to bring to the program. Only thing though about that interview day is that nothing went the way I had imagined it to go. I arrived at the location a few minutes early because I believe that making a good first impression shows that you are dedicated, know how to manage your time, and that you know how to follow instructions. While I arrived we had to sign-in so I am like okay, have to sign-in in order to be counted as present. But while I was signing my name there was a column that had group numbers on them and according to the group number that you belonged to, you had to grab a name tag from the table. The name tags were mostly premade that had both the name of the applicant and the group they pertained. This is where I start to get nervous. I picked up my name tag, removed the paper so that the adhesive on the back was showing and slapped my name tag on the left side of my chest. Why the left side? Well from a workshop I had been to, the name tag should be on the left side so that when you go for a handshake (which you typically use your right hand to give out a handshake) the person you are shaking hands with is able to see your name. Well as more people started to arrive at the location, I had an idea that maybe this interview is not going to be like the rest of the interviews.

By the time everyone signed in and grabbed their name tags, the room was starting to feel hot. Now I am not sure if it was was for the fact that there was too many people or because I was nervous and wearing a blazer. There is just something about wearing professional business attire that increases my body temperature, like if you accidentally wore a sweater without anything underneath on a hot humid day assuming that the day was going to bring in rain but it doesn't. But since you do not have anything underneath you are stuck wearing the sweater for the rest of the day. That is how I felt and it was starting to make me feel anxious. Most of the groups were pretty big like four to six members per group, except my group. It was just me and two other people who coincidentally also happened to be Hispanic. I am not sure if they did that on purpose but that did not stop me from having suspicious thoughts. At least it was nice to be around other Hispanics because I find that there is not enough at my university. Also since there was this cute and kind Hispanic guy in my group too so I felt like I was already winning. This is all before instructions were being given out so me along with about thirty other potential PAC leaders were waiting awkwardly for further details.

The unit coordinator then comes and begins her shpeel and that is when we realized what was the purpose of being in a group. As a group we were asked to plan either a social event or an academic event in more or less of thirty minutes and present the idea to a panel. Each group were handed out with a sheet of paper, a large sheet of paper for brainstorming and presenting purposes, and a container of markers to write with. Given the fact that I did not know my group mates and I already had an assignment to do with them surely does play a large role of how fast you are in adjusting and producing in a short amount of time. Our group had to present a holiday event to the panel and on the sheet of paper that was given out by the unit coordinator instructs with bullet points of what to answer as we present our idea. The bullet points were pretty straightforward which asked things such as what would you call the event, how does diversity fit into the event, who you are inviting to speak, and where. The important small details that could really make a difference in planning. So on top of having to work with a group I did not know, in that same time they were calling us one by one for separate interviews. It was like an interview inception and again I had no idea who would be giving the interview out. But I am just hoping that I find the right words to answer all of their questions. 

In the middle of planning out the holiday event and sharing my ideas, one of the helpers called my name out for my separate interview. A wave of panic rushed over me and I quickly placed the sheet of paper I was holding and walked out of the common room. Slowly opening the door, I notice that not even the separate interview was one on one but more so three to one. The isolated chair signaled me to sit there and just like I always do, I try to liven up the mood so that my nervousness doesn't completely fill up the room. The questions were personal as I guessed them to be as a way to further learn about my character but there was this one question that stands out that keeps me thinking. "If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender, how would you get out?" and at first I had to make sure I heard the question correctly so I politely asked for them to repeat the question. Confirming my doubts, I shoot the first answer that pops into my head. "I would push the blender to its side and slide out" and with that being said all three of my interviewers begin to scribble onto their papers. I do not know if I provided an efficient answer but I was able to produce a solution on the spot which I am proud of. 

Soon after my separate interview, we wrap up our holiday event. We decided to go for a Halloween social while still bringing in diversity through the different costumes brought in by different cultures. The panel interview was held in one of the larger conference room in the same building and since we were group three we were in the first half to present. Even though I was confident in our idea, I was still feeling nervous for any spontaneous questions that could have be asked that we have not prepared for. As our time arrived to present, the conference room was filled with at least fifteen staff members of Mentor Tech half in which I have not seen. The tallest member of our group held the poster and I introduced our group. I started off the presentation and I was hoping to at least get someone to laugh. If you get someone to laugh then you are golden. There was multiple moments of laughter and other times there was awkward moments of questioning but overall I find our group to have held their ground and they presented efficiently. I was honestly proud and relieved that within the hour that I have met my group mates I was able to get along with them and be able to pull in all of our ideas to create the final product. 

This whole interview process started at five o'clock in the evening and I did not get out until seven thirty or around there. The process was long and exhausting, but it was such a great learning experience. At the end of the interview day, I even took off my small heeled flats while I was walking back to my dorm because I could not stand them anymore. 

PS: I did get the position.

Which interview do you consider the most memorable?

xx Chavelita 

Day 26: What I have learned about my college town

Living in my college town, you kind of start to pick up on a few things. Some intentionally, other times unintentionally, and most times forcefully. Coming from a town where seeing a tree meant that it was your lucky day to a town where a tree could be found at any corner, I was a happy camper. I was able to embrace more of the raw nature that the Earth had to offer which also meant lovely sit downs underneath a tree for reading or studying. But just like any place you move into, you have to learn how to deal with the unpredictable features that comes from the city.

1. Embrace the wind or plan not to wear a dress or skirt
2. Carry an umbrella with you no matter how lovely the day may be looking at the moment
3. Country music will either make you or break you
4. English is mainly spoken so for those who know another language, make sure you have someone you get to speak your additional language so you will not start forgetting that language
5. Rain and the road do not get along, the roads will flood if there is rain so make sure you have a pair of rain boots or shoes that you are not afraid to get wet and another pair of socks
6. When you feel like it is safe to put away your winter clothes, do not put your winter clothes away
7. My college town is very flat so tornadoes can be a possible threat so always listen to directions if there happens to be one nearby
8. Just because it was warm during the day does not guarantee a warm night, carry a sweater around with you
9. My college town is indeed a college town for the fact that you mostly find my college merchandise or emblem dominating most stores
10. Mostly everybody I have met has different shade of blue or green eyes and are lovely people 

My college town's weather is quite different from my hometown given the fact that I am used temperatures peaking 100 degrees Fahrenheit, hot wind blowing, sandstorms, and little rain. I am just surprised that without even leaving the state, temperatures could differ among cities. And the in between tips of the atmosphere is there to give more a perspective of how the people are like. Which in all, my college town is decent and full of life which I enjoy and appreciate to have chosen to live there during my college semesters. 

How's the weather like near you?

xx Chavelita

Day 25: Research Interviews

To be a research assistant was never on my to-do list nor did I know that being a research assistant was a thing until I had received an email from my psychology adviser that there was positions open. My initial reason to become a research assistant was to step out of my comfort zone. I knew I wanted college to be different than how I spent my years in high school and I wanted to make sure that in college I was getting the best experience possible as an undergraduate. So when I sat down with the application open to apply for my first research assistant position, I had no idea what I was getting myself into and yeah I was stressing out as I would normally but from the back of my mind I knew if I did not follow through this opportunity I was going to be regretting and wondering what would of happened if I only submitted my application. I also never thought about how I would feel if my application got rejected so I came in with such high hopes for a new beginning. A few days passed since I had submitted my application and one of the graduate students emails me back an email introducing himself to me and how my application stood out especially for that fact that I was a freshman without even stepping into college yet. A part of myself was making sure that this was actually happening and the other half was kind of anxious and curious about what would happen next. Within the first few weeks that classes has started I scheduled my interview appointment to go meet up with the person who had given me feedback on my application. Which to this day I still find weird that I had the ability to schedule when I wanted my interview and at what time...

The psychology research labs at my university are located in the basement of the psychology building and walking downstairs for the first time to the basement was pretty creepy and unexpected. You have to open a door to get access to the stairs and even then the stairs were dimly lit, one wrong step and who knows where would I end up. There are still times where I will miss a step and nearly fall down those stairs, so knock on wood that my day does not come. In the basement of the psychology building though the lights were bright and if anything all you can hear is the hum of the furnace. The rooms down in the basement for the majority time are closed and are only open if someone were running labs or waiting for their participant to come participate in their study. Well I sat down outside of the room where my interview was going to be held at and I kind of just stalled. I knew that I was early and I felt like my anxiety was kicking in because my thoughts would be on loop. "Ok... in ten minutes I will get up and knock on the door" "Alright in five minutes..." "In a minute..." until I had to actually knock on the door, I would just think about at what time I would knock on the door. With enough time to be considered early and on time, I gave a loud knock. 

The interview process was oddly really casual. There was even laughing and side stories included like how statistics just gets more and more alphabet as the content advances. I sat down in the adjacent seat by him and we just spoke. The only technical thing that I was asked to do is to get certified as a research assistant by doing the online trainings that were found on the university's website and on the National Institute of Health website. I was expecting like a proper eye to eye, seat table seat, interview. I remember what I had worn that day, I had ironed my sleeveless white shirt with crosses and had on tight khaki jeans. And as usual with my potato sack Toms to complete the outfit. I do not remember if I had a resume on me at the time because I had just gotten out of high school so I did not know how to make a college resume if I did not have any experience to write about. Even with that, I was given the position. Except what I have come to realize that so far all of the research assistant positions that I have applied and been interviewed for, I was never told a direct answer that I was accepted as their research assistant. I had to assume that I was accepted when my interviewers started talking about how they should contact me and when they would ask about my schedule details. 

On my second interview, the interview went even more casually because I had already known my interviewer since she was the teacher (or is it teaching?) assistant to my former Statistics class and she would teach our class on Fridays in the afternoon. In the first weeks that I have started college, I was concerned about my future and I already know what you are going to tell me that I am still too young to be concern about my future but that is what anxiety does to you. Makes you worry more than you should and the only way I was going to stop worrying is if I handled my concern. I did not know my Statistics TA that well but my first impression of her was that she was funny, awkward, and friendly. I knew that that was enough for me to put my trust in her that she would help me out with my situation. I wrote a thorough email explaining about graduate school and research. Soon throughout the week that I had emailed her, she replied back with such warm words. For someone who did not know me she sure accepted me pretty quick and offered her assistance to me. Half through my first semester of college, she emails our class about how she was looking for research assistants to come help her out in her research lab. I remember her mentioning in an email or in person that she was waiting for a response for me since I have been interested in doing research. Well on the day of my interview I sit down and we talk like it was just another day. And again she starts asking for my schedule without even telling me directly that I was accepted as her new research assistant. I am starting to wonder if this is a trend that happens to interviewers and their interviewees. 

My most recent interview was before I left home for the summer, I had decided to do apply for another position only this time I was not alone. During my tutoring session for Research Methods my Supplemental Instructor mentioned to my lab mate and I that there was an opportunity for us. The opportunity he has been talking with us for a while and it was that we had the chance to create our own study. Maybe we won't run the study but we would be able to learn the process in making a study and what it takes to get one starting. Since both my lab mate and I were first year college students he saw a lot of potential which was really sweet of him to mention when he had given us both good words of acknowledgement to the professor that he was doing research under. On the last week of school I meet up with another graduate student and although I did not know my interviewer personally, I did hear about her and from what I have heard she seems like a good person to get along with. In which she was because the interview went so smoothly, it did not like feel like an interview like my previous interviews. 

Reflecting over my research interviews and how much I have gone through as the lost college student to the less lost college student, I feel super grateful for taking the chances when I could. I had stepped out of my comfort zone and I carried my anxiety on my shoulder to all of my interviews. Even though I was nervous, I put on a smile and went in with a positive outlook. If you get the interviewer to laugh with you, then you should be golden which has been my goal in all of the interviews that I have had this year. Sometimes we forget that our interviewers are just like us, with experience and a upper hand, but they are people too. I know that I have so much to learn but at least I feel comfortable knowing that I have wonderful mentors to guide and support me along the way. I am so excited about what happens next in my research labs!

Update: I am no longer a research assistant for my first interviewer but I am still continuing with my second and third research positions. I have also found a passion for research so in the end I feel like I came out like a winner and soon a paid winner. 

In what field would you like to do research in?

xx Chavelita

Day 16: Ukulele & Me

About seven or eight years ago I moved to Hawaii from what used to be a small city in Texas and I stayed in Hawaii for three years. I remember walking down this long street from the apartment I used to live to the bus stop and back after school with my mom and I just recall being in such disbelief that I am able to say that I live in Hawaii. My mind could not wrap around that idea just yet. In middle school we had to take a music class and in music class we learned how to play the ukulele. Although they were just brief lessons of learning few chords and strumming, I had really enjoyed the experience. The teacher was incredible and supportive, his passion for music clearly was presented in his teaching which probably made me like that class a lot more than the rest of the students who took this lesson a bit more lighthearted. In that same year for Christmas I had asked my parents for an ukulele of my own with the idea that I was going to continue playing and building up with what I have learned from class. That Christmas morning I did get my ukulele and I was in awe that my ukulele was sitting there under the tree waiting to play. I picked up the ukulele and I started strumming and just like that I got discouraged. I did not sound good at all! Annoyed I kind of just put my ukulele away in my closet and it kind of just ended there.

Fast forward those seven or eights year, before I left for college I saw my ukulele sitting in my closet (I have moved back from Hawaii to Texas) and I knew I could just not leave it there to gather dust. Although frankly that was all it was doing even when I lived in that house and I took my ukulele with me to college. For some reason I knew that I was going to be stress, my anxiety was not going to cooperate with me on some days, and feeling homesick were all emotions I was going to feel while I am living on my own (which at first they were) and if I started playing my ukulele again I would get to hear the beautiful singsong voice and find a way to escape the anxiety. Through out my first year of college, whenever my roommate would go to work or when I had my room to myself I would get my ukulele and just strum. It did not matter if I was just strumming or plucking random chords, all I wanted was to listen to my ukulele. I fiddle around with my ukulele more than I actually do play songs because I get annoyed easily still when I cannot get the strumming pattern, chords, and vocals down for a song. And from there on, I felt more at ease and I gained a little more confidence in myself too. I never really understood what was the big hoopla in playing an instrument but now I do. You create this bond with your instrument and when you do not feel like talking to anyone you seem to escape into making music. So maybe if I continued to play my ukulele when I was in middle school I would of been a better player today but at least I did not entirely give up. I can go for hours playing my ukulele and I am totally okay with that.

Do you have an instrument? What do you play?



xx Chavelita

Day 14: How my love for volunteering started

When I was a junior in high school, I had started to this prestigious educational program called International Baccalaureate. I have spoken about this program previously so to some of you it should be familiar but basically this program has taught me to be a well-rounded person. In high school I was shy to join organizations and even less to be an officer to any organizations. But as a requirement to stay in the program I had to do a community service project for a year and half. So basically for a year and a half straight I had to do community service on top of the jam packed assignments and homework that had to be done. I was concerned that I was not going to be able to complete the community service aspect of the program and thus lead me to be expelled from the program. Funny how I look back it now, the one thing that worried the most was the thing that I enjoyed the most from the program. Both of my English teachers always had an eye on us and would give us resources and tools to succeed. One in particular was that they invited Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to come speak and recruit members to help out their non-profit organization promote awareness of the dangers of drunk driving and taking drugs then driving. Always curious to learn more I decided to give MADD a chance to be my community service project. Throughout that whole year and a half of serving the community, I have gone to multiple locations to give presentations, listen to presentations, go to workshops to learn more about the current issues and dangers that are happening in the community with drugs and alcohol, participated in the annual walk that MADD hosts in September, went to an Easter festival to spread the word for MADD, and go to fundraising events.

There was this one presentation in particular that I went to and my supervisor had to give her talk in Spanish. Which she was not bad at speaking Spanish but you can tell it was not her first language. Parts of the conversations I had to translate but that was not the point. The stories that you hear from the community is what gets to you. This lady had lost her loved one to a drunk driver and she was left to take care of the kids. A lot of people when you tell them not drink and drive they will just give that typical nod and yeah yeah, I know. Sometimes I just want to tell them no you do not know. You do not know until you actually sit down and listen to the actual causes and the victims that have been caught in the mess of drunk driving. Until you hear the stories coming from other people then I feel like a lot of people's attitudes are not going to change until they experience the emotions caused by one. Which is something MADD is trying to prevent from happening and which is why MADD holds a place for their victims to be able to cope with their loss and for some to come share their stories. I also remember there was this speaker who came to speak at one of our meetings and he had damaged a part of his brain from the impact of the crash he had while not wearing a seat belt. So how many stories do you need to hear to be aware of the dangers of drunk driving? Just because you do not hear about them as often, does not mean they do not happen.

I ended up becoming one of the presidents to the lead the MADD group at my school and I grew close to my supervisor who has been an absolute joy to work with. My experience with MADD has been so phenomenal to be part of that when I finished my year and half I just knew I could not just leave. I had liked the person I have become and I was not ready to just dismiss her. After high school I continued to serve my community through MADD and to this day I still find it important that drinking while intoxicated should be educated.

When I got to college I had already known that I had to do community service. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. To go to school and do community service on my free time was how I grew accustomed in high school and the habit kind of just stuck with me. I joined Mentor Tech by filling out an application online, was assigned my mentor who became such a great friend and supporter of mine that I even asked if she can continue being my mentor in which she said "of course", and I met my Protege Advisory Committee (PAC) leader who has been so kind and helpful with me this first year of college. Later that year I joined Mentor Tech Student Organization (MTSO) and found my community service family. This program was exactly what was missing from my college experience. I met many people who felt just as passionate as I did to give their time to help their community become a better place for the future. And I did not just stop there but I ran for Historian my first semester of college, did not get it but I did run which is nothing I have done before. So I pat myself on the back for that moment. After a few months has passed and I put together an event to bring high school students onto campus, that motivated me to run for officer again this time for secretary. So as of now I am the current secretary of MTSO. My PAC leader also had recommended me to apply to become a PAC leader myself because she saw qualities that just would fit nicely so I applied and I got my interview. Towards the end of the year at the Mentor Tech banquet they announced the names of the future PAC leader of 2016 - 2017 and I had made the cut.

Whenever I think about how far I have gotten I like to thank MADD for preparing me to open my heart and reach out to others. It's a bit terrifying at first to go into the unknown and not know what the next step would be but there just times that we should take chances in ourselves and see where that leads us. Now I cannot see myself not doing community service, it became a part of me and I hope that when I am older I continue to serve the community. Maybe not the same way as doing non-profit but through my profession as a psychologist.

When was the last time you have done community service?

xx Chavelita

Day 7: Shadowing Program Event Success

The Shadowing Program Event was an opportunity given to me with such high responsibilities. I remember I went to a fundraising event for Mentor Tech Student Organization (the organization that I currently do community service with), this was before I became the secretary for the organization. The former president had given me a proposition to be in charge of the The Shadowing Program Event. For a while now I have been hearing about this program but that was all, just a mere idea without any action placed to make it happen, at least not yet. The goal of this event was to bring students from a local high school to the university but with a twist. Normally when people come to a university it is to see the exterior of the university and experience how the atmosphere would be if you do decide to commit to that institution. Important as that is because that is how I fell in love with my university for the first time, visiting, but there was just something missing. Like drinking a glass of lemonade and realizing that more sugar is needed to balance out the sourness. A balance was needed and that is where the program came into play. The Shadowing Program Event in addition brought the element of allowing the high school students to experience the whole college experience, inside and out, by having a mentor to follow along their day including where they may stay and attend classes with them.

This program had me drawn from the start and I knew I had to get my hands on this. If I had this opportunity to get a feel of how college was really going to be during high school, the inside and outs, then I would have definitely signed myself up. With this in mind, I accepted the proposition and I immediately started to get in contact with the high school teacher that was in charge of the students who would be attending, her name was Elizabeth Duran but as her students would call her, Coach Duran or Ms. Duran. I have met Coach Duran for the first time this year and she is just one of those teachers that you instantly find yourself sharing your life story with. Really easy to speak to, easy to get along with, and her passion to teach, no wonder why her students love her to death. It was a real delight to have her as my partner to bring this program to life. For the program we had, Advancement Via Individual Determination or also known as, AVID students attend the university but I hope that if there is a next time, that we branch out to more students who are not just in AVID but who are simply interested in the possibility of living that college life. If anything, I want to be able to provide the maximum support to students who may know or who are still thinking of what they want to do with their future because I know how terrifying things get once when you graduate from high school and you have to think about the next step to take with your life. Even for students who do not consider college as their first step out of high school, I believe they should participant in the program to solidify their decision that college is not right for them. Just like any parent would say, how do you know if you do not like it if you have never tried?

Whenever I can, I like to motivate students to get a higher education. I know after twelve years of going to school where the government forced us to complete, the last thing some would want to do is go to school for another four years, or more, to get a higher education. But seeking a higher education is important! Many situations are changing, social revolutions are happening, technology is advancing, people are pronouncing their identities to the world, to say the least people are starting to speak up whether we are ready or not to listen. What should have been said but was once afraid to share, are being laid out on the table. The twenty-first century is by far as I consider, the resurrection of the lost voices and as us millennials we need to look out for one another. In order to participate, that higher education is needed. The world is becoming a tougher place to obtain a job with just a high school diploma, heck, with a bachelor's degree things are still looking rough. There was this quote that I saw that set things in perspective for me, I cannot recall what the quote said word by word, but basically the quote stated how leaders of the world are those that you went to high school with. Now not as literal as the quote takes it but the leaders can be those who are roughly around the same age group as we are. Mind blowing, right? I still have a hard time believing that even in our teen years going into young adulthood, we can have such a great impact to formulate the kind of world we want to live in. Generation X, the generation before us, are starting to get older and soon enough us millennials are in need to take over. So it's best to be prepared and give this world the hand it needs when our time comes.

I got a little bit carried away, didn't I? Well going back to the Shadowing Program, this event took about a month to coordinate. It was not so much the planning that stressed me out because honestly planning is something I enjoy doing but some of my mentors had dropped out days before the launch of the event. Thankfully some of my mentors were willing to take multiple students with them to class or else I would have to go and look for more mentors with the time I did not have. The day of the event I was so excited, that the same excitement one would have the day before a field trip. I woke up that morning with such purpose that if this event were to go as plan and the students and my mentors took the opportunity seriously, my little heart would be very content. Seeing my mentors and the students come in, it was starting to click, this program is actually happening! Although I was not able to take any students with me to class being able to spectate was good enough for me. I was able to talk to multiple AVID students, share a bit of my stories as a freshman in college and learn a little bit more about the students. Such an ambitious bunch I must say. There was this student in particular that I had spoken with during lunch about how she was upset that she had to compete with this new girl who came into school with her for ranking and it totally reminded of me in high school! Which I found it really interesting that I could share that experience with her and that I am able to meet the future leaders who want to take that extra step.

Overall the Shadowing Program was a success! The event went as plan, the students came back to the Student Union Building excited for college and the mentors grew a quick connection with their students. Contact information were being shared and hugs were given out. Unbelievably amazing! To share this moment is why I enjoy doing volunteer work. The pay is not what I am interested in, it's how I can give to the community and how to benefit others. This day sure went into the books. Thank you Coach Duran for trusting in me to make this happen!

Would the Shadowing Program be something you are interested in participating or wish you participated in?

xx Chavelita

Day 5: Motorbike guy

If you do not already know by now, I have yet to learn how to drive so having a car is just a ridiculous joke for me. Which leads me to walk a little bit over a mile from my former dorm to get to church and another mile to get back to my dorm on Sundays. I want to say that is the way I stayed in shape in college, because I walked EVERYWHERE. There was this one particular Sunday I had asked a friend who I have met in my hometown who also decided to go to the same college and because during that time eating alone was a still a struggle for me, I had invited her to go eat tacos. I thought, you cannot go wrong with tacos! After mass I started to walk over to the taco restaurant, minding my own business thinking that no one was paying attention to me. Behind the church there is this sketchy street where there is like this abandoned house, shack... however you want to call it, all I know that no one could be possibly living there. The yard was untamed with tall grass and weeds growing in all directions, broken beer bottles and shards of glass scattered on the sidewalk, and trash littering the floor. Dogs were barking but there was no one walking either just cars zooming by, I simply wanted to cross the street to get the restaurant already. Now you understand why carrying pepper spray with you is important? I arrived at the restaurant and I sent my friend a message letting her know that I just got there and asking about her whereabouts. Saying that she was on her way, so I decided to sit on a bench just outside of the restaurant. Big mistake...

Sitting down on the bench, listening to music with both of my earphones in, here comes this man on a motorbike maybe he was probably in his mid-twenties or younger thinking that he was just going to pass by like all normal people in vehicles but he decides to stop in the middle of the street and asks me if I wanted a ride! A ride! I sat there thinking, "am I hearing this man correctly?" and I look at myself to see what I was wearing but it was nothing provocative at all! I just came from church, I was probably looking the most modest I can be! Then I replied, "No... I am good..." insert the awkward smile and then he left. If my makeup was on point that day or I just looked like a lost, vulnerable college girl, I would never know what motorbike guy must of been thinking when he saw me. This all happened my first semester of college too, so I think after this incident I have come to realize that when you are on your own anything can happen. Which is why you must always be careful so what I have learned from this day is to...

1. Never wait outside of a bench especially on a sketchy back street of an apartment complex
2. Keep your pepper spray close to you in case you do have to use it
3. Be aware of your surroundings at all time and if you feel like someone is watching you, call someone on the phone
4. If you have to wait on someone, it is just best to wait inside even if it is during the day

Never thought my taco trip would be turning into a life lesson...

How was your first semester coming back from school or college?

xx Chavelita

Day 4: L.O.V.E.?

The idea of falling in love with someone has indeed been on my mind, but do I really do anything to pursue it? Not really. Also for the fact that I do not think love can be pursued at least in people they can't. I remember in high school telling myself, "That is okay I am sure I will find someone who will surpass my small figure and will love me for who I am in college. Love is certainly will be different in college, more mature and worthwhile!" I was right about one thing, love is certainly different in college, but there are not all mature as I thought they would be. In fact, falling in love in college has been a challenge and I am not only speaking on my behalf. Take me for an example. When you are barely getting into college there is this application that could be downloaded on your phone called School App and the essential purpose for that app is to meet people who have been admitted to the college of your choice and have decided to also attend that fall semester with you. You have limited access time on the app because then the following individuals that are accepted next year take over the app. Well one day feeling homesick because I had no one to speak Spanish to, I posted on the app "Where was my hispanic people at?", like I own all hispanic people, and surely I had gotten like at least 10 comments from that post. Half joking and half serious, I was not expecting to get so much activity on that post. There was this guy who decided to private message me on the app and we started talking in Spanish. We decided to meet each other for lunch one day so we can properly meet each other and share more of our stories with one another. I arrived a little early so I sat on a bench to wait for him, then there comes this rather dark skin guy in one of the t-shirts that were given in freshman orientation and I asked if he was the one had been messaging me on the app in which he replied with yes. It would of been a nice day that day... If only he were to stay. When we got into the dining hall in one of the dormitories, I decided to go my own separate way to get my food and I assumed we would meet later. So waiting there like a hopeful freshman straight out of high school waiting for better things to happen, where I actually thought I had a chance with this guy, he leaves. I have no clue where he had gone to that day, but I did eat by myself that day.

So maybe he was a dill hole that day for automatically judging me and not giving me a chance but I simply brushed it off. I applauded myself for actually trying and seeing where this experience would have taken me. So for those who are hopeful to find their love in college, I do not want to rain on your parade and say that they are not there because who knows what will happen. None of the days I have had in college were the same. Something new was always happening but I just want to say that love will not be knocking on your door and say, "Hey hey hey friend! Think fast here comes your soulmate!" I still believe that when you stop looking for love, that love will find you but if you are looking for something to happen overnight then good luck! I was talking about this with a friend from high school actually who similarly been in the position I have been in for quite sometime. Both have not dated, no first kiss, etc. etc. but sometimes it is not entirely the case that we have yet to find the right guy that swoons us but there are still things to do before we get someone else involved with our lives. I know not every person is that way but there are people who think that way and I feel it is important to acknowledge that. We have society constantly pressuring us in finding someone to settle down with but when you are barely reaching your twenties or are in your twenties you are still figuring yourself out. I feel like society's definition of love comes from two pieces of hard material with paper in between, written in black and white. Only they forget that love could be seen in so many different ways.

If you want to have some alone time then you should and society should not have to be breathing down your neck for the decisions you make. It is your life, you are in control of what happens to it. The thought of settling down with someone at such an early time still blows my mind but I am not here to tell you what to do. If you find that someone you do what you feel it is best for you and them. If you want to stay independent then that should also be accepted. No one was given a manual as to how to love one another or ourselves, so who has the right to tell you are doing it wrong?

I had another conversation related to love with a really good religious friend of mine from high school. He is that type of friend where you can go for weeks without talking to but if you need a shoulder to lean on, he is your guy. Regardless of the day or time, he tries his best to help out in any way that he can. Which I deeply appreciate our special friendship because he sure brings a lot of clarity when I am overthinking about the simple. One night we were talking about our motivation to continue worshiping our heavenly Father and how compassion has a major role to our direction of learning about ourselves and what really makes us feel human. So here is a snippet of our conversation, hopefully it brings some wisdom like it did to me.

Me: So do you think through the same compassion is how one learns the meaning of loving and how to love one another just as God loves each and every one of us?
Him: Loving is in you. It's perception and perspective. You can see it in other people but I think only you can convince yourself of or from it.
Me: So why do you think some people make love complicated?
Him: I think all people make it complicated. It's just wiring when it comes to trusting someone and making yourself vulnerable.

So why am I bringing up the topic of love again? For a few weeks I had lost my faith in love and it is not something I am ready to talk about in full detail yet but to have nice reminders of what the capacity of love can do to someone is remarkable. Love can come in all different ways, shapes, and forms whether it is a lovely message from a friend, donating to charity, or rescuing an animal from the shelter, sometimes we do need that reminder that love is not entirely lost but our definition is simply changing and adapting to the person we are becoming. Not everyone is going to agree with your definition but you will know when the right person also agrees with your definition and adds more examples to strengthen your meaning. Give it time. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your needs. Nothing wrong in treating yo self!

What is that one thing, someone, place, or animal that has changed your definition of love?

xx Chavelita

Day 2: The night with Mary Jane

In my second semester of college I was invited by my floor mate to go clubbing which for some it is not a big deal but for me who does not normally go out, it was a spur of the moment night. I did not think about it too much because I knew if I thought thoroughly of going to this club I would convince myself not to go and end spending yet another night in watching some overly dramatic Spanish movie while contemplating what were the producers thinking while recording the film. You need to watch one in order for you to understand... I am still thinking about the plot on Brujas... Anyway, I dressed out of my shorts and went with black leggings and layered with a denim shirt and sweater. I allowed my floor mate to do my makeup and just like that my floor mate along wih my other floor mate headed to the car. It was already passed midnight when we had left but the night had just begun. Roaming around the empty streets, the clubs were relatively close to one another. Just going up and down the street you would find each club blasting their own type of music with individuals all dressed distinctively. For someone who is quiet on most days, I was blurting out lyrics to the new Panic! At The Disco album with the windows rolled down. I was feeling alive that night.

During the night though there was a change, none of the clubs had caught our attention and with that my floor mate calls one of her friends, I am assuming he parties often since he did have the hook up to this party where supposedly a band was playing, and we decided to swing by his place. The moment he got in the back of the car with me, he was bringing this sketchy vibe and his over confidence kind of just wanted to make me gag. Did not help that he was already smelling like he was rolling in smoking cocaine leaves. I reminded myself that tonight was supposed to be fun and I was putting my trust in my floor mates that they would not let anything wrong happen to any of us. After collecting a few drinks from the local convenience store we headed to the party. At least it was safe to say that it was better to have purchased the drinks beforehand instead of arriving the party where you may have no clue what they put in their alcohol. Not that I am promoting drinking alcohol in any way but if you are going to do it, then be safe and smart about it.

1. I would advise to not drink with people you do not know. Same goes for drinking in small groups, stay close to the people you came to the party with and keep watch of each other in case something were to happen.
2. Have a designated driver in case you do decide to drink
3. Drink responsibly, know your limits

You can always say no to drinking. You can always say no to anything that you do not want to do and if you are being threatened or forced to do something after saying no try to seek help. Even if you have to draw attention to yourself or have to fight your way through. Sexual violence happens and it could happen to any of us at any given moment. Please do not think because you go to a party that you have to pick up a drink and join. I went to this party and I had told my friends that I was not going to drink. I came in the party without the intention of drinking and I came out with the same intention of not drinking. They understood my decision and did not force me to drink. Yeah I was awkward at the party to be the few sober people there but I cannot put myself at risk especially when I do not know my limits and that night was not the time to find out. So if you come across friends who judge you for not drinking or even friends who judge you for drinking then I think that should be enough to say about who your friends are.

We arrive at the party and it was like if I was slapped by a blunt. The place reeked of alcohol and weed, I thought I was going to get high myself just by inhaling the second hand fumes. As I stood there with my friends while they spoke to few of the people from the party, I scoped my surroundings and my exits. In the living room there was a group of guys playing video games, a tipsy small man making his way through the kitchen, and a man knocked out cold in the backyard. There was petite girls like me who were drinking like champs and all I can think about is how... I suppose anything is possible in gatherings like these. I am not trying to be prejudice at all but I felt like I had stepped into one of those cliche teen party movies and the only thing was missing is having the police come through the door and break the party up or even join in because who knows what the twenty-first century brings. By this time it was about 2 in the morning and the party was still going hard. This was a moment where I thanked myself for being an introvert and preferring a small pizza and a movie in the comfort of my own bed. I think there was even a moment of the night that this tipsy guy was hitting on me so that just about tops the party experience.

At about two thirty in the morning we leave the party and head back to the dorm. Me just being me, I apologize for my awkwardness but that I still thought the night was interesting even though it will probably be something I would not try again. To keep the night going we decided to go for breakfast at IHOP and that is how our night ended, with a night filled with Mary Jane and a stomach full of pancakes. I believe I did not get home until 4 in the morning but I can say now that I have experienced my first college party.

Please be safe in parties or gatherings where there is alcohol or drugs involved. In moments of danger, do not be hesitant to call the authorities.

xx Chaveltia

Day 1: Southwestern Discovery

For those who are new readers, I have recently completed my first year of college. Yay! So long freshman year and here comes sophomore year! And with that being said for the next days of June I will be discussing a few of the moments that I have experienced while I was out in the world figuring things out all in the comfort of my half piece of room I shared with my former roommate.

Early into my second semester of college, I received a phone call from an unfamiliar number which normally I would have not answered but because I am no longer under my parents supervision, I had to answer all of my phone calls regardless if it is a telemarketer that is trying to sell me life insurance at age 18. I answered the phone and there was this man on the other end asking for me which I told him that I was that person, and he continued on saying that there was a summer internship opportunity with my name on it and if I was interested in going for an information meeting to learn more about the company. In shock for the phone call and for being considered as a freshman, I told him my schedule for the following days and he scheduled me a meeting date. Boy, did I really not know what I was getting myself into...

Meeting Day:
On meeting day, I used Google Maps to look up the location that the man on the phone messaged me the night before and since I like to make my first impressions count, I left my dorm with enough time in case I were to get lost but also be able to find the building without having to rush in like if I had been chased by a large dog. (Yes... I am afraid of large dogs but you cannot blame me I am not even five feet tall) I legitimately walked passed my designated building and had to make my way around the sprinklers to get back on track. "Wiggins Complex" the building read and that is when I knew I had made it. I opened the door and advised the lady that I had come in for Southwestern, the company that offered me the internship, information meeting by the man who was named (to protect the staff we will call him Pedro) Pedro. I was instructed to take a seat that they would be there for me shortly but not a minute passed and a man dressed nicely in a suit and tie called my name and motioned me to follow him. The room was dark with hints of light to illuminate the round desk that filled the room. Me along with three other individuals were invited to the information meeting session and as soon as we sat down and introduced ourselves, we were given this green sheet to fill out some questions about ourselves. You know the usual, what is your name, DOB, address to what you wanted to get out of Southwestern. To begin with the information meeting was quite demanding, I felt like I was not given a choice to take notes, I had to take notes and I did not want to know what would happen if I did not take notes. With the mindset that the internship was going to be psychology related because on the phone the previous night I was asked for my major, I decided to let the notes slide but on the contrary it had little to do with my major... Their internship consisted of going to a different state, somewhere that I have no experience with, and sell educational products to families door to door. That should have been my red flag there but I had promised myself that I was going to do more things out of my comfort zone so when they had asked me if I was interested in going through the interview process I said yes. Just so you all know, this interview process gets weirder and weirder because I am pretty sure interviews should not be this demanding. I was given this packet with tasks to do, in fact I still have my packet, and prior to my first interview I had to complete the first section of the tasks. The first section consisted of reading the assigned passages and answering reflecting questions about what I wanted to get out of Southwestern. Oh and my first interview was actually the next day. Who needs prep time? (God help me...)

Interview 1:
Since I had classes in the afternoon the only time I could schedule my interviews were in the morning at 8 o'clock in the morning. Waking up early, I dressed nice, and did my makeup outside of my dorm room where the hallways were lit so I did not have to turn on the light and bother my roommate. The nervous jitters were starting to kick in and all I could think about is what I have done. If I wanted the internship, then I should be proud to be given the interview but all I did was fear of doing well knowing in the back of my mind that this was something I did not want to do for the entirety of my summer. With my head held high and my portfolio held tight, I walked back to the Wiggins Complex for my interview. The same pair of ladies from the day before were there and instructed me to wait again. For my first interview, Pedro was not my interviewer, instead it was the same man who held the information meeting. We will call the information meeting man, Luke. Luke again, was dressed nice in another suit and tie and I am honestly a sucker for nice people. If you are nice to me from the start, chances are that I will be more likely to share with you a few facts about myself and continue talking overall. Being directed to the interview room, the size of the room was smaller than my childhood bedroom, and trust me when I say this because my childhood bedroom is small as it is. A small desk with two chairs on the opposing side had already made the tiny interview room seem crowded especially with the door closed which is how my interview was held. The interview went smoothly, I could be the most anxious person before the interview but as soon as I sit down with the interviewer a surge of confidence overwhelms me. I do not know where the confidence comes from, but I must be taking the "fake it til you make it" phrase to the next level. One of the things that I hated during the interview is talking about my past because I never know which memory to bring up and I also hate being personal to strangers. In the middle of the interview though I was so focused on filling out the reflecting questions that I totally forgot about the passages. So when I was asked about the passages I thought I had sabotaged my chance because I honestly told him that I did not read it and was like, I guess we cannot discuss the passages then... and went straight into the reflecting questions. I am not one to lie so if I do get eliminated at least I know that I was being truthful. Yet other than that, I felt the interview was going great, interviewer was laughing, the interview turned into more of a sit and chat, and just like that I was offered my second interview. I drew a blank because again I did not think I was getting this far but did I say no? Of course...not.

Interview 2:
Prior to this interview I was instructed to call previous Southwestern individuals that have done a summer internship to gain more of an insider of what to expect. A list of phone numbers were in the packet  I thought it was a clever thing to get actually speak with individuals who have done the internship and listen to their stories to be certain if the internship was really for you. The only obstacle that I had to get through was actually making the phone call. I avoid making phone calls unless that is the only option that I am left with. Just the fact that I cannot see facial expressions and talking aimlessly, I prefer to speak to the person in person. At least when you speak to someone face to face you are able to catch the mixed signals in the body language and be able to ask that person to explain in what context do they mean. Along with the phone call, I was given a list of base questions to ask like what was a typical day of the internship, how did their parents feel during the interview and when they have left for the internship, and what they had learned overall through the internship. Most of the individuals that I had called were nice and provided some sort of philosophical advice. It was a little too good to be true, if you know what I mean. Completing the task I prepare myself again for my next interview. My second interview was actually the day after my first interview. This by far has been the most fast paced interview process I have put myself in. I did not even have time to think thoroughly about my decisions because as soon as I made one I had already had to start deciding on the next. At least for this interview it was at 10 in the morning but that still meant I had to dress nice. Arriving in the same location, this time Pedro was doing my interview. Which actually Pedro should have done my interview the day before but I guess something happened that he couldn't so Luke had to take over. Pedro was a large man, not fat, but built large. It was intimidating to say the least. The second interview was held in the same room and we started going over the tasks of the packet. As asked, I discussed about the individuals that I spoke on the phone. Some of them had insider jokes with Pedro that requested me to share with him and he chuckled as I mentioned them. At the end of the interview he had asked me what was the real reason why I wanted to go forward with the Southwestern internship and without warning a rush of emotions overcame me and I was starting to talk about how when I was younger I was always taught what I should do and who I should become. With the internship though it was a way of how I can define myself and prove others wrong that I am much more than what the next person tells me to do. I am my own person and I believe that I should be given the chance to prove myself. I nearly cried answering that question and I want to say that is how I got offered my third interview. Where will I stop...

Interview 3:
Last interview day, I had at least been given the weekend to prepare for this final interview. Which I was really grateful because I was running on fumes by the end of the week. Trying to make it on time to my interviews, on time to my classes, and still do my homework while prepare for the interviews to come was not a walk in the park. Priot to my third interview I was instructed to call another set of individuals for more personal anecdotes and read a small book that I was given by Pedro on my second interview. The book was a tad moving which I guess was supposed to set in the mood that anything is achievable regardless from where you start. On my third interview Pedro asked about the individuals and again I recited what they had told me on the phone. Then the most terrifying part of all came in this final interview. Pedro pulls out this booklet with phrases that the they say to the families that they go door to door to sell. Which was not too bad I just thought he was going to show me what were the common protocol of Southwestern's way of door to door selling but then he asks me to demonstrate how I would sell. As I left the room to demonstrate my poor selling skills to Pedro, a large chunk of my confidence left the room too. After showing how awful I am at selling products, he roleplays one of the premade sayings on the booklet we were going over to show me what was the "proper" way of getting the sell done. So I follow along since again I did not have a choice. I am impressed at how manipulating a salesperson can be with their product, I think it takes true art and talent to sell even the most minuscule needed item. Now just when I thought the interview was wrapping itself, Pedro hands me the booklet and says that I had five minutes to memorize one of the phrases because I was going to copy his roleplay back to him! FIVE MINUTES! The moment the door closed behind him, since he left me alone in the interview room to practice, my mind and my heart were racing to see who would be the first one to make it to sanity. Five minutes go by quick when all you want to do is turn invisible. I had almost replicated the roleplay word for word until I drew a blank towards the end where I had to skip and go to directly from the last point I could remember. Pedro was impressed, at least that is what I thought. The end of the interview came and that is when I had finally told him that I was not going to go forward anymore. He had thanked me for my time and effort, for meeting a person such as myself, and that although he was not sure whether I had what it takes that he still had a troubling time letting me go. Just like that, I shook his hand and I parted.

This whole Southwestern interview journey took a little bit over a week to complete and even through the whole process I was fearing of getting further and further along to being accepted, a part of me knew that this is not what I wanted. Towards the middle of the interview process I was wondering how far will I make it, lets continue to see how far I will make it and that is how I remained to keep going. I ended up not proving myself to Southwestern but more to myself that when you step out of your comfort zone, opportunities begin to rise. Even though most times you are clueless as to what to do with the opportunity when they come without setting yourself out there chances are that the opportunity would of ceased to exist. This journey has taught me a lot more about myself than I thought I knew. I have learned that under pressure I am still able to work well when I am given the right tools to push forward, my comfort zone grew smaller, and that I am more capable than I have thought. In a way I want to thank Southwestern Advantage for allowing to go through the range of emotions to find a new meaning to myself and for setting the bar high for having the most far out interview process I have been in so far.

What was the craziest interview process you have been in?

xx Chavelita

Partner in Crime

Reflecting over the friendships that I have come across over the years, I would have to say that I have never had a friendship like the one I share with my roommate right now. I am starting to understand what my English teacher was telling me about how close she still was with her roommate in college. Before my roommate and I met, we were already messaging each other and planning our room out. I want to say that is normal for most roommate relationships to start. What stood out was that even before we knew each other, we were both thrilled to be each other's roommates. I still remember the first day I came walking into our dorm room, I caught her off guard watching Grease (which by the way is a musical that I can watch over and over again and sing along with Sandy) and as meeting someone for the first time it was awkward. In the beginning of the school year I had to give myself pep talks that everything is going to be okay and that this should be exciting to be independent. The first few weeks or months I was still in the process of adjusting to the new atmosphere of living apart from everyone I grew up with and getting used to the culture shock of not seeing as many Hispanics like I would in my hometown. But here is my roommate speaking to me like she has known me for years, sharing her stories about her friends back at home, her family, and with what was going on with her life at the moment. At first I had thought it was because I live in the same room with her and I am always around that I was her last resort. That soon changed though because even though she had made other friends she continued to tell me her stories and before I know it I am telling her stories of my own. Even the personal stories that I do not normally share with people especially those I have not known for more than a year. With time we started to have our own insiders, our late night conversations became a regular where the topic of discussion was limitless to, and basically we look out for one another. We made sure that each other had eaten, were still alive, and that basically we were emotionally stable throughout the week.

It was not until the start of my second semester of college where I was laying in my childhood bedroom that I realized, I missed her. To put things in perspective, I am not the one to tell others that I will miss them. As much as of a reserved strong person that I try to portray to others, my sensitive heart always stands out. Distance does some weird things to you, I will tell you. One day you are missing your parents and thinking that life will be difficult but then by the third month you are like "It has been three months and I am still alive? I must be doing something right.". And so on the other hand you start to feel that you do not want to go back home, at least not until later when you feel ready to head back. Is that how adulthood is going to continue to feel? If so, then I still have a lot of adjustment to do.

So now that my second semester of college is coming to an end that means that we will be moving out soon. (Not going to look forward to having to pack everything back in their designated storage containers when the time comes...) If you were to ask me what will be my most bittersweet moment of college, it would be this moment here. Where I feel accomplished to have finished my first year of college and for making it on my own but then having to say goodbye to my roommate and not having my go to gal. There is a high chance that she will not be reading this post because she does not use social media often but either way I am going to list a few of the perks of having a roommate who acts like your long lost sibling.

1. They are always there for you. In your moments of doubts and sadness to the moments worth celebrating, you know that you can count on them for support.
2. Food runs. One of my main concerns is not having someone to eat with. In the beginning of my first semester I forced myself to eat with people I did not know in hopes that I will meet someone that I eat food with. I was clearly looking too hard because that someone was my roommate all along. 
3. Parent in disguise. If I ever find myself struggling with a problem whether it is in my love life, in my other friendships, or with school my roommate will give me advice to help me put my mess back in order. Even though sometimes I do not want to hear the truth, she still gives me the hard cold truth. 
4. Awkward or embarrassing does not exist. I can look like a hot potato with my strands of hair playing peek-a-boo, sing along horribly to music in the car, change my clothes in front of my roommate, and experience bodily malfunctions with pride. All are welcomed, we don't discriminate! 
5. Secret diary. Since my roommate does not know my past friends personally or practically anyone from my hometown, she holds a lot of my thoughts that I cannot normally tell to anyone else back home. 

That is a few things that I find very special about my roommate. I have heard other stories where roommates did not turn out as nicely as one thought. Which is kind of sad especially for the first year of college but I am thankful for striking gold with my first roommate. She has made my first year of college remarkable, she has brought out the best out of me, and as I continue to grow more into the person I want to be I know that I can pass some credit to her for not judging and looking past my small figure that most people stereotype me for. 

Overall words cannot describe how blessed I feel.

What is something that your roommate has taught you?

xx Chavelita 

The time I nearly got arrested

Now that I am on break I now have more time to actually sit down and write. Which means... STORY TIME! I actually do not remember when was the last time I have told you a story so here we go!

As most of you know I am currently a freshman in college going to university in the United States and I will not lie to you all I feel like a baby again because I am experiencing so many things for the first time again that it is frightening but at the same time exciting. At the end of my fall semester instead of taking a bus like I did in Thanksgiving to go see my family, I was going to fly. I have flown before, multiple times but never have I flown on my own. My anxiety on a scale from one to ten was about a seven on that early morning. I could not stop feeling bad for putting my kindhearted mentor in the position of taking me to the airport such early hours of the morning. At least that lowered some of my anxiety because now I just had to worry about getting through the airport on my own.

Arriving at the airport it was about four in the morning, I thank my mentor and I wish her a Merry Christmas before I close the passenger door behind me. Pulling my purple suitcase behind me, I look back to make sure that I had everything before entering the airport. The line was not so bad to check in my suitcase, ever since I was a little girl I have been told to always arrive at least two hours before the flight to ensure that what has to get done could be done without having to stress over missing the flight. While the suitcase goes through a security check point of its own I begin to head to my own security check point. The line was again not long. For those of you who do not know when you arrive at the airport before any flight you have to check-in any bags you want to take along with you to the flight but do not want to carry throughout the journey. Then you have a carry-on that you can carry along with you onto the plane but you and that bag has to go through a separate security of its own. By protocol you have to remove all the layers that is not your pants, shirt, or socks and have to put in a tub to go through a scanner. The same procedure goes for your liquids (you want to make sure that all of your liquids are below the amount you can carry with you) and that if you are carrying a laptop to take out of the case. At this point I thought I was doing pretty well, even patting myself on the back a bit for being able to get through this all on my own. Until it was my turn to go through the scanner. At the airport they have these portable X-ray machines that swivels around you and inspects your body for any weapons or prohibited items. Since I have not been placed in one of these X-ray swivel machines, I could not stop the feeling like I was a criminal. Even after I went through the machine I had to get my head patted because I displayed signs of danger. I was not even wearing my hair up in fact I was wearing a beanie because I did not bother to brush my hair for the flight. Gathering my belongings I realized that one of my tubs did not return to me which caused me to panic. Going through security is a fast paced process so losing something during that I would not blame you. Scanning my surroundings I find my missing tub only one of the officers was holding it and I already knew something wrong was bound to happen. 

Some of this conversation is altered but here is how I mainly remember.

"Those are my belongings" I state worriedly.

"I need you to step aside ma'am" the officer signals behind the scanner.

"Ma'am are you carrying any sharp weapons with you today?"

"...Not that... wait... *heart drops as the officer approaches my wallet* I have a sharp weapon in the pocket of my wallet"

"We have asked you multiple times for sharp weapons..."

"I am so sorry I have forgotten that there was a knife there. I am sorry. So sorry..." my voice softens.

"You cannot take this knife with you on the plane, do you have someone you can give this knife to? Or can you put this knife in your check-in luggage?"

"I already checked in my bag, is there a way I can mail the knife to my house?"

"There is a mailing center but we do not sale stamps."

"Okay... Well let me call my friend.."

Just when I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel, I hit a wall. Not only was I feeling bad that my mentor drop me off early in the morning and sacrificed a portion of her sleep for me but she had to turn around and come back to pick up my knife. At this point I am not sure if I am able to get over this amount of guilt that has build up in just half an hour. In order to give my knife to my mentor I had to remove myself for the security check point meaning that once when I hand over my knife to her I have to go through security a second time. TWICE! Because once was just not enough... Even on my second time around I had to get my head patted. Now I am starting to think that there is something my head that even I do not know about. Forgetting what humiliation felt like, this day has sure reminded me of that sensation. I also lost my favorite beanie that day to top the whole disaster. 

Well guys now you know that anything can pretty much go when you are traveling. If you are doing any traveling at some point of your life just remember to leave all potential weapons and prohibited items at home. Have someone check you before you are pulled away by an officer for further questioning. I actually thought I was going to put through customs and have more questions asked then I would of definitely broke into tears. I want to say that the most hilarious part of this all is that before I left my dorm room, I thought let me leave my pepper spray so I will not get stopped by the airport... Ha ha ha... Just do not give me weapons, I beg you. I only accepted to take the knife so that my parents knew I would be safe on my own. Perhaps this is my sign that I need to learn another way of defending myself without having to carry items that can hurt someone, even myself. In my head I was also trying to place myself in the officer's shoes and all that came across to me is that even the little ones you have to look out for. 

How was your first experience traveling alone?

xx Chavelita

Hello!

Is this Isabel? No she disappeared for almost two months... Yeah so turns out that writing every week was a lot harder to do especially when you are a college student who wants to get the right amount of sleep, get good grades, and still be socially involved on campus but obviously I was not thinking clearly. So as a way to forgive for my absence I will let you in all the deets that have been happening in the past two months.

I joined a student organization that I actually take a part of so for those who say that I stay in my room too often well guess what, I'm barely in my room anymore. Joining Mentor Tech Student Organization has probably been the greatest mistakes I have made. Wait mistake? Yes a mistake... You will probably shake your heads at me. Well first of all I was already part of the Mentor Tech program at my university which what they do before anything is that you have to apply but after that you set up your own profile that includes your name all the way to the interests you enjoy to do on your free time. Then after setting up your profile the people in charge of the program will match you with a mentor who shares the same qualities as you. After all the waiting and matching, you are then assigned your mentor and they basically help you out during college which for me I thought was such a wonderful idea especially since I am known to grow really anxious in new settings and where I am not familiar with about 99% of the people here. Coming back to why joining was a mistake is that I was invited to a meeting which I thought it was for the Mentor Tech program but it turns out that what I signed up and paid membership for was for the MENTOR TECH STUDENT ORGANIZATION, now don't ask me why that did not click to me at the time that the names were different but to me I thought I had already joined this organization and that the meetings were mandatory. But nope... Yet this was the greatest mistake I have made because now I do community service just like I would do in high school yet they're better community service projects. For this semester on Fridays I have actually been mentoring high school students at a local high school here and my goodness guys I really love my Fridays because of this. Adopt-A-Class (that's what the program is called) has taught me so much, opened my mind to so many new things, and I am starting to understand more. I will take you on a little history trip because I think it will help you understand why I love teaching my students. Okay so right now, here in Lubbock, Texas, the school district first of all is different from my hometown. In 1979, the Lubbock Independent School District was desegregated. Let that sink in, because even though 1979 was 36 years ago that is still recent for history. And so when you cross I-37 here you can actually see the separation distinctively and I remember for the first time going to the high school, I couldn't stop feeling so ignorant for not realizing that just because a piece of paper was signed to eliminate segregation that doesn't mean that segregation no longer exists. Although the issues may not be seen explicitly, they are there. On that first Friday I can also recall telling my roommate about the segregation and she had no clue what I was talking about or that there was like this invisible line of separation still visible. Just seeing this though kind of made me love Lubbock a little bit more because this is different from anything I have seen and you're probably looking at me like I have lost my marbles, but now I get to see how two cultures can live true to themselves in the same city and that I get to be part of that culture mixture.

Did someone ask about boys? I have no idea how to begin this story. Alright so on Tuesdays I finish class at 12:20 for the day, which is why I love Tuesdays, and so usually I study whenever I can because exams here pop up like weasels and I like to be prepared. So normally the dorm is quiet because most of the people on my floor or either in class or still sleeping but then the CA that lives on the hall adjacent to mine starts knocking on our doors. As I peek my head to see who it was, the CA gives her long schpeel that my Texas Tech was holding A Tunnel of Oppression. In other words, what they did was that they decorated the ballroom like a tunnel where it was dark but enough light to give focal light to the skits that were hold in different sections of the room. I do not know if I told you already but I am really oblivious when someone likes me or find interest in me, you can probably give out big hints to me and I will still not catch on. Anyway after the skits we had to debrief and discuss what we just saw. As I was leaving, barely reaching to the door this tall guy turns around and said his name, complimented me by saying I was pretty, and asked me for my number (in which I gave to him). Then he said he was going to text me later. I kid you not, I couldn't stop laughing that day because I was having one of those moments like in the movie, Beyond the Lights, where Kaz tells Noni that he sees her, like this guy saw me. Not because of my height, but because I was pretty and that boosted my self-esteem and confidence immensely for the whole entire week. I am normally the girl that guys get to know me but only want to remain friends with. Even though our friendship remained short, I will still remember that moment. If the guy finds my blog and reads this, I want to tell you thank you, you definitely know how to make a girl's week.

In the month of October, I want to say that my roommate and I have gotten a lot closer than we were in the beginning of the semester. A part of me thinks it was because this is her birthday month and we have been relying more on each other. Okay, October 21st it was my roommate's birthday and since she was not able to drive back to her hometown I thought why not spend it together, doing the things that she enjoys doing which is doing crafts? After my Statistics class we left to go to different stores, first we went to Plato's Closest. Keep in mind that this is my first time so I was pretty curious to see what I could find. Just as I was getting in line to purchase the two shirts and necklace, a little boy around the age of five asks me, "Are you a kid or a grown up?". In which I thought, where in the fly did this kid get this question and right after that I wonder, well what exactly am I? I am too old to be doing childish things but I also don't feel like a grown up because I do not even know how to file my taxes or understand the whole concept of the stock market. Then he asks me again probably knowing that I was secretly trying to pretend to not hear him, "Are you a kid or a grown up?" Then I finally answered, "Well I am not a kid but I am not an adult either..." and I am just really grateful that his mom was next to me because she intervened and I was able to escape the kid before he started to interrogate me. I thought that was a great way to start the birthday adventure. Afterwards we went to Goodwill to see if we can score a few gems that people no longer wanted. Punching in the direction of the nearest Goodwill we had no idea what we were awaiting for. As we arrive the parking was gated and when I mean parking I want to say it was more like a almost solid with a bit of pot holes of compressed dirt. I looked at my roommate and we kind of just sat there hesitantly in the car debating whether we should leave or overcome our fears and go in. Swallowing that fear, we got out of the car and started heading into the entrance. I will not lie, I thought I was going to get mugged but I was also excited to be stepping out of my comfort zone which motivated me to move quickly to the door. Staying close to my roommate, we searched for room decorations. I left with nothing but my roommate picked out a few frames and a mason jar so as my roommate was paying the lady in front of us was carrying a rug the size of her. Watching her struggle, I decided the least I could do was open the door for her. While she was thanking me for helping her, she comes closer to me and says, "I asked the guy to help me but he said no. What a bitch." with a puzzled look on my face wondering if I heard correctly I nervously started laughing and in which I reply, "WOMAN POWER!" out of all the things I could of said I had to say woman power... This is why guys I shouldn't be placed in these kinds of situations. Though this day ended up being amazing because not only was I introduced to my roommate's other friends but for that day I actually felt a bit more grown up than other days. I was able to make my own decisions, say my own thoughts, and experienced a bit more grown up related topics all without wearing any makeup. College is most likely maturing me both mentally and physically which I am feeling quite bittersweet about.

College gets me so pumped, honestly. Even though I struggle getting out of bed, I do end up having a fulfilling day filled with new experiences and yeah I do get homesick but I seriously feel like college is my path to success. Just to be able to have that reassurance and goal, motivates me to complete more with my life. Making new friends, strengthening my bonds with already made friends, seriously makes a difference in college. Feeling alone is something I experience a lot but my friends whether they know it or not fill up that empty gap and I am forever grateful to meet such lovely, hilarious, caring people. College for sure makes you or breaks you, but if you put your all I am still rooting for you. That college life is not easy, but it's possible even if it takes one sleepless night out of the week to catch up with homework, friends from your hometown, or your blog.

What have you all been up to? I missed you all!

(Me visiting Buddy Holly's with my friends, but that will be another story!)

xx Chavelita

Building blocks

Well for about a month now I have been living on my own with my college roommate and there is just not one day where my parents crosses my mind. Like the Saturday of my first college football game (which was such a spectacular experience to encounter) I was ironing my white shirt since the whole school was going to white out the opponent and well as careless as I was, I plugged in my iron into the outlet, turned up the heat, and left the iron laying faced down onto my bed sheets. Before I had time to realize what a mistake I had done to leave my iron faced down on my bed sheets, there was already a hole in my bed sheet from the heat. The hole would of been fine if only the hole was not right smack in the middle where I slept. Right after I got upset at myself for burning my newly bought bed sheets, my immediate thought was my mother getting upset for being forgetful.

Which brought to my attention that even though I do not live with my parents anymore, they still are a big factor, they are still a part of me. I look in the mirror and I remind myself of my mother. How we both seal our emotions away from people until the seal breaks, the way I worry about so many things that may not even involve me, how we remain consistent in our choices when we have to choose a restaurant to eat which normally ends up in either tacos or enchiladas at the end of the day, and how we look for approval in each other when buying clothes that are a bit out of our comfort zones. Then on the other hand I find myself joking around with people I barely meet, acting tough when in the inside I am scared to death, helping people to the best of my abilities, and being the one who listens and gives advice to my friends, reminds myself of my father and how much he would do these things while I was growing up.

This reminds me a lot about what I have learned at mass one day that because of our culture we sometimes do things the same way of our caretakers because that was just how things were done growing up. Which I agree because since we were little our parents (or guardians) have been our role model, teaching us how to speak in their native tongue, learning about traditions that we probably didn't understand what the true meaning was, how to treat others, basically we are all a reflection of our parents, at first. Then we grow older and we start to question why certain things happen in a specific way and why those things cannot be done in a different manner. On one hand, we begin to experiment and stray away while others prefer to stay with the familiarity. There are also cases where people experiment and come back to recite what they have learned. I want to say that this is how limits are tested to college students, like myself, are placed in their first year. The first year is the most crucial in college and I am now understanding what that all means. Some of us fit in well with our new lives while others run back to what is familiar. Not saying that they are weak, but to emphasis how much culture shapes the lives of people. Culture are the for sure the building blocks to behavior along with the environment one has grown up in.

Just wanted to say thank you to my parents for teaching me how to let go (and for letting me go) and be independent, providing me the support and a well conscious to tell the difference between right and wrong, for the traditions, and for letting me be myself because without those qualities I don't think I would of been writing this blog in the first place.


What is something that your parents or guardians have done for you that you will never forget?

xx Chavelita