Day 9: Friendships over the years

When the word friendships come into mind it is as if I get a flashback to all the friendships that went wrong and all those who are still with me today. Friendships are somewhat weird to explain because none of my friendships are the same thus I cannot really categorize them. When I was younger and I still do this now, I would not tell my parents about the friends I have made unless I knew for sure that they were going to stick with me for a while. I took my friendships really close to heart and I would take the longest time to make sure that my friendships were worth my time. I know this seems a judgmental but it was just how I would make friends. But let me tell you now that when I make a friend they are usually there to stay and it's really amazing to have friendships that you can look back on. In order for someone to understand the world more clearly, I think we all need to have at least one of these friends to show you a different perspective in which you interpret the world.

• A friend from the opposite sex - 
• A friend from a different sexuality - 
• A friend who's first language is not your own - 
• A friend who is not the same age as you - 
• A friend who is from a different race - 
• A friend you have known for over five years - 
• A friend who is special - 

Here are just a few but the more diverse the better. If you have at least one of these friends I can guarantee that your perspective will become more third dimensional. Sometimes we get stuck seeing the world through our lens and from the situations we have had overcome over the years. But once when you start walking in the shoes of your friends you start to understand that not everything is as one sided as we think. Their stories do not become your own, but you can learn from their stories. So I find it to be important to give everyone a chance even the people you would not think of being friends with are the ones who bring in the most perspective in your life. Just give them a chance, if you like to speak and be around with them then continue being their friend. If you find that you feel upset or annoyed to be with that person you always have the right to walk away or stop speaking to them just make sure you let them know why you do not want to be friends with them. I think they deserve the explanation at least.

I have met my very first best friend when I was around nine or ten. We were in fourth grade and she was the new girl who came from Detroit, Michigan and you know how everyone gets excited to see new students come in the middle of the school year. I felt like everyone wanted to be her friend but I was not the one to casually come up and introduce myself. I waited for my cue, if it ever came, to make myself known to her so I was left waiting. Then there was this one day where she invited some of the girls from our class to come over and I was invited. We were barely talking at that time. I remember she would mix up my name with this other short girl from class but fair enough I mispronounced her name for about a year or so, so I guess I cannot complain. Asking my mom to go over to a friend's house for the first time, I can already tell she was concerned. She is the type of mom who likes to meet the parents of the friend to make sure. Throughout my fourth and fifth grade year on Friday afternoons after school I would go over to her house. It first started with a group of girls coming over her house and then it ended up just me coming over which I did not mind. We would call our moms on the landline at school and cross our fingers that we were able to spend time together. And so we fast forward 11 years and I can still say she is my best friend. We went through the awkward teens together even though I had left for a while to go to Hawaii for my dad's work I came back. I feel we have defeated the odds honestly and I want to say this is the friendship I treasure the most because my best friend saw me when I was I just the little girl who wanted someone to laugh with to the woman I had grown and wanted to be. And I could say the same to for her. I am curious to see where the next decade will take us! 

Who do you consider your best friend?

xx Chavelita

Partner in Crime

Reflecting over the friendships that I have come across over the years, I would have to say that I have never had a friendship like the one I share with my roommate right now. I am starting to understand what my English teacher was telling me about how close she still was with her roommate in college. Before my roommate and I met, we were already messaging each other and planning our room out. I want to say that is normal for most roommate relationships to start. What stood out was that even before we knew each other, we were both thrilled to be each other's roommates. I still remember the first day I came walking into our dorm room, I caught her off guard watching Grease (which by the way is a musical that I can watch over and over again and sing along with Sandy) and as meeting someone for the first time it was awkward. In the beginning of the school year I had to give myself pep talks that everything is going to be okay and that this should be exciting to be independent. The first few weeks or months I was still in the process of adjusting to the new atmosphere of living apart from everyone I grew up with and getting used to the culture shock of not seeing as many Hispanics like I would in my hometown. But here is my roommate speaking to me like she has known me for years, sharing her stories about her friends back at home, her family, and with what was going on with her life at the moment. At first I had thought it was because I live in the same room with her and I am always around that I was her last resort. That soon changed though because even though she had made other friends she continued to tell me her stories and before I know it I am telling her stories of my own. Even the personal stories that I do not normally share with people especially those I have not known for more than a year. With time we started to have our own insiders, our late night conversations became a regular where the topic of discussion was limitless to, and basically we look out for one another. We made sure that each other had eaten, were still alive, and that basically we were emotionally stable throughout the week.

It was not until the start of my second semester of college where I was laying in my childhood bedroom that I realized, I missed her. To put things in perspective, I am not the one to tell others that I will miss them. As much as of a reserved strong person that I try to portray to others, my sensitive heart always stands out. Distance does some weird things to you, I will tell you. One day you are missing your parents and thinking that life will be difficult but then by the third month you are like "It has been three months and I am still alive? I must be doing something right.". And so on the other hand you start to feel that you do not want to go back home, at least not until later when you feel ready to head back. Is that how adulthood is going to continue to feel? If so, then I still have a lot of adjustment to do.

So now that my second semester of college is coming to an end that means that we will be moving out soon. (Not going to look forward to having to pack everything back in their designated storage containers when the time comes...) If you were to ask me what will be my most bittersweet moment of college, it would be this moment here. Where I feel accomplished to have finished my first year of college and for making it on my own but then having to say goodbye to my roommate and not having my go to gal. There is a high chance that she will not be reading this post because she does not use social media often but either way I am going to list a few of the perks of having a roommate who acts like your long lost sibling.

1. They are always there for you. In your moments of doubts and sadness to the moments worth celebrating, you know that you can count on them for support.
2. Food runs. One of my main concerns is not having someone to eat with. In the beginning of my first semester I forced myself to eat with people I did not know in hopes that I will meet someone that I eat food with. I was clearly looking too hard because that someone was my roommate all along. 
3. Parent in disguise. If I ever find myself struggling with a problem whether it is in my love life, in my other friendships, or with school my roommate will give me advice to help me put my mess back in order. Even though sometimes I do not want to hear the truth, she still gives me the hard cold truth. 
4. Awkward or embarrassing does not exist. I can look like a hot potato with my strands of hair playing peek-a-boo, sing along horribly to music in the car, change my clothes in front of my roommate, and experience bodily malfunctions with pride. All are welcomed, we don't discriminate! 
5. Secret diary. Since my roommate does not know my past friends personally or practically anyone from my hometown, she holds a lot of my thoughts that I cannot normally tell to anyone else back home. 

That is a few things that I find very special about my roommate. I have heard other stories where roommates did not turn out as nicely as one thought. Which is kind of sad especially for the first year of college but I am thankful for striking gold with my first roommate. She has made my first year of college remarkable, she has brought out the best out of me, and as I continue to grow more into the person I want to be I know that I can pass some credit to her for not judging and looking past my small figure that most people stereotype me for. 

Overall words cannot describe how blessed I feel.

What is something that your roommate has taught you?

xx Chavelita 

Day 28: Things that make me LOL

This topic is quite difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes me laugh because I am constantly laughing at everyday things. You don't even have to try to make me laugh because in all natural cases I would probably be laughing by the third sentence or so into the conversation that is if the person happens to be friendly and kind to me. Alright well here are a few things I find myself laughing at.

1. My dad's jokes - My dad could whip up a joke from thin air and have me holding my stomach from laughter. I want to say that I laugh a whole lot than I should is because I have such a visual imagination that allows to surpass the intentions of the joke. Yet, I still enjoy his jokes even if some people may not understand his humor the way I do, I don't mind being the one laughing the hardest among the crowd even if my dad needs to explain himself sometimes. 
2. My best friend's stories - Hands down my best friend is one of the best storytellers, her choice of words and actions that she takes to explain her experiences actually makes you feel like you're there with her cringing alongside, laughing, or being embarrassed all depending on the central emotion these stories are based on. Also the most sarcastic and punniest person, the fact that I can distinguish when she is being sincere or serious I could tell which expressions she used. I feel like I know her so well to that I can guess what happens in her stories before she tells me which again activates that vivid imagination of mine.
3. Watching Wipe Out with commentary - I already know what you are going to say, that laughing at people's pain is not a laughing matter but this rule does not apply when you are watching Wipe Out. Just the fact that people sign themselves up to do these stupendous obstacle courses, you pretty much gave the viewers the right to laugh. Many nights on the i-Pad I would just watch it with my dad and laugh to the point where my mom on the other side of the room have told us to be quiet. No apologies there. 
4. My twin a month apart - Alright so I have this close friend who's birthday is June 5th and mine is July 5th so I consider us to be a month apart twins. Well I have met her my freshman year of high school through my best friend, and I felt like something clicked between us. Just one of those friendships that you can instantly trust and share personal information with because you already know they can handle it. My friend has been one of the most hilarious people I have met, her stories, her reactions, her phrases, just as a whole person she is brilliant and I am really glad to have been introduced to her. Now as high school graduates we are still friends sharing laughter and stories when we can. 

Honestly I am constantly laughing, whether my laughing is legitimate or I am nervous and decide to laugh away the distress, I am simply a giggly person. I laugh at the smallest things that people may overlook at and perhaps give me odd looks for laughing at air. Sometimes I laugh at my mom when she misinterprets my question and says something completely off topic. Or when people swear in front of me and think that I haven't heard such colorful words before. I laugh when people mistaken me for a little girl and hand me goodie bags because the joke is on them! Maybe I take some things lightly but I prefer to laugh than to hold back things that are bothering me. Laughing is the cheapest medicine, the best therapy to sadness, and a great exercise for those lungs and abdominal. 

What makes you laugh?

xx Chavelita

Day 13: "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!"

There is only two things I feel like I'm excited about at the moment. One of them would be to see and hug my dad again for the first time in nine months and the second would be starting college. The only downside is that these two events almost happen around the same time, so I find it quite upsetting that I am not able to spend as much time with my dad after waiting for this eternity to end and for this moment to happen. On the other hand though, I'm actually pumped to start college which is another part of growing up and developing my character that would potentially tackle the world with the rest of the people who are attacking this world. I won't lie though, I am scared for this moment to happen because I know I would want to tap out within the very month or two that I was dropped off in college. Only do the people who went out of town for college can understand the same mixed emotions I am sensing because I will not be able to simply take a public bus home and sleep in my own bed with my parents asking me how my day went. Though as I have told plenty of people, if I do not leave now then I feel like I would never leave the comfort of my house. I am the one here detaching myself from my bubble, this comfort zone that I had created for myself the start of my freshman year of high school and well beginning from scratch to build a new comfort zone in college with my new not yet met peers and professors. The only thing that has kept my sanity together is the faith I have placed on myself that not everything will go as planned but at least I am giving this a try and I'm really running with the wind. College to me sounds like such a great opportunity, I have heard stories from my parents and I actually want stories of my own to share at the dinner table whenever I reunite with my loved ones. I know that this semester of college will probably not be the smoothest of semesters but I will not be the only freshman in college to be feeling those pangs of nostalgia, fear, and doubt. I just have to remain calm, smile and say hello to anyone I encounter, and try my best to transition myself into college mode.

What are you excited about?

xx Chavelita

Side 2

Hmm, I'm not sure I have told you that I am a military kid (probably briefly in a earlier post). Yes, my father has been serving the Army before I was even born and still is serving the country today. Today I thought I would give you a glimpse as what it is to be a military kid.

The detachment. The total amount of times my Dad has been deployed would be 3 times, at least those I remember and has affected me. I remember the first time when I was small maybe 4, and he was leaving to go to South Korea (of course at that time I was not sure where he was going). When we got there he was saying goodbye and I wanted to go with him but since I was still in my car seat I did not know how to take off the seat belt. He closed the car door and left, with my little self trying to open the car door. Next thing I remember I was crying and watching him take closer steps to the building. The other two times where they are the same honestly, when he left to Iraq I cried numerous times before he actually left the same when he left to Kuwait the previous year. I am always telling myself that I have to be strong and that the sooner he leaves the earlier he gets back.

Single parent. Hands down, I would have to say that my Mom is the strongest person I have met. Full of character and not once have I found her crying when my Dad leaves (unless she does and I don't see her). I am not sure how she does it, having to temporarily play two roles of mother and father. She has always put my brothers and I first before herself. I sometimes wonder how my Mom was like as a person before she met my Dad. Was she already independent, and confident? Or was she timid and quiet like I am at the moment? Glad she chose to marry my Dad, they're the perfect partners for each other and are able to communicate without actually communicating. I call it the telepathic minds. I think it comes when you know the person backwards and forwards that you can actually read thoughts or actions before they happen. It is weird, but my parents has known each other roughly around 30 to 35 years. Either way, I try to make the transition easier for the both us by not asking for much and helping out when I can.

Moving. You would think that the few times I have moved throughout my childhood, I would learn to socialize and learn to make friends quickly. That was probably the biggest obstacle I had to go over. Saying goodbyes were the worst and then seeing people who look like the friends you have left was heartbreaking. I do not consider myself to have a hometown since the place I was born in I only stayed them until I was one year old and we moved again. Though I am thankful that I had the opportunity to travel, learn new cultures, meet people I would have not thought of knowing. It has taught me not to be ignorant and create assumptions based on the media instead to actually know them for who they are. Such as when I lived in Hawaii, I was introduced to the ukulele. It's like a tiny guitar with only four strings but it creates such a beautiful relaxing tune that for Christmas I had gotten one and over this summer I have been playing. When I used to go to middle school over there, during transition periods some of my classmates would spontaneously just play the ukulele and walk to class. Since it was an outdoor school, the sound would travel around the campus. Spam musibi was another thing I miss, you could go to almost any gas station and buy one. It is basically a piece of cooked spam on rice wrapped in seaweed. It was also made with teriyaki chicken. Such lovely people I met when I lived there, nice to have felt included.

Friends. So far the nationalities I have met include Polynesian, Samoan, Venezuelan, Spanish, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and German. I had a best friend who was Korean and she drew so amazingly that it caused me to pick up drawing myself. I had met her in the 6th grade and we were both wallflowers only I was the first to interact. I began to include her more when others would not give her a chance. I do not regret meeting her, she was the first to take me to eat Pho with her family (I believe it is Vietnamese soup and they give you the meat is a bit raw but you're supposed to dip the meat into the broth to finish its cooking, so good...), first to introduce me into Nutella, and expanded my music vocabulary for introducing to Vocaloid which is Japanese computerized singing robots that sound like humans and through that I picked up some Japanese phrases and we would talk to each other in small verses in Japanese. At church in Hawaii is where I felt included since everyone spoke Spanish there and I honestly felt like I was Puerto Rico. In fact I met a Puerto Rican mother that I grew close to that I still talk to, her stories were profound. Give people chances is something important I have learned, you have to open up if you want to actually settle into the location you were stationed in. And who knows, you may see them again.

Being a military kid has their pros and cons, but I have learned to make the best out of each situation. Like go to the top of Moana Loa the tallest mountain in the Big Island where you have to look down to see the clouds or run a 5K for a fundraiser in Texas. I have heard a lot of times that military kids grow up faster than normal kids but I do not think it's necessarily true. Everyone grows up by the amount of experiences and stories they have encountered throughout their childhood that develop them to become the person they are today. But I do believe it makes us grow up differently among the rest. Obviously there is more, but this the glimpse of the military kid life. In person I do not mention that I am a military kid because it either not brought up or I do not bring it up. It's not something I like to talk about but it is a part of who I am and I cannot ignore it.

How has the military impacted your life?

xx Chavelita