Day 22: To the girls who thought being different meant something was wrong

Dear my girl friends who think being different means that there is something wrong,

To think differently or find interest in other materials that others might find odd or disgusting, that is not your problem and there is nothing wrong in appreciating the nonconforming ways of living. You be you. There is nothing more upsetting when someone tells you that you cannot do that or that is not appropriate. What is inappropriate about being yourself? When I was in grade school, I did not like to wear dresses nor was I big fan of Disney princesses. Ask me today and I still cannot name each of the princes in those movies. It just did not matter to me. I would prefer to sit in front of a computer with my brother and play computer games until our parents would tell us to get off. I could of listed you all of the first generation of Pokemon characters from the top of my head. In fact, while being introduced to video games, I have always complained about the main character being a boy. Why can't the girl be the main character? Why couldn't she saved the world from being absorbed by aliens? Or why did the girl have to either look like the damsel in distress or the prostitute by an empty alley? Why couldn't she just be a typical modest looking girl with strong features of her own? I found that to be unfair that because I did not mix well with the other girls and what girls were supposed to find interesting, that I was seen as an outcast. To this day I still feel like an outcast because I rather wear basketball shorts than yoga pants to go workout. Growing up I feel like we are placed in these dainty boxes labeled with the word "princess" and cute frilly laces as decor. Boxes that underestimate our differences and when we do decide to show our differences it is like we broke a this sacred law. If anything, we were breaking the glass ceiling. I think other individuals do not appreciate our differences because they do not know how to react with these differences. But if you know what your differences are and you are content with them then I feel like you are steps in closer to happiness than those who have judged you for not fitting into their ideal view of you. There are no rules or instructions on how to run your life. You win on some days and you win less on other days but everyday you are progressing even when you think you are not. From the numerous amounts of bullying, I have learned to appreciate my differences. On my hard days where I found myself looking for some self-confidence to boost my self-esteem, I would tell myself that because I am different I am going to have to find a different way to give my life value even if that meant separating myself from crowds. While those days of spending alone figuring myself out, the first few days were horrible but then they became one of the best days. I did not have to depend on anyone. If I wanted to go somewhere on my own I could. When you start agreeing with the people who have judged you in the past for being different then what side are you really on? So while some of you may think that being different has its disadvantages I am here to tell you that you are right. There is disadvantages now but the day you start to embrace and appreciate your differences for what they are, they start to become advantages. I believe that this world could use more variety so with your differences, my differences, and everyone else's differences then perhaps being different would be rightfully acknowledged.

What I am trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with any of you.


Stay hopeful and stay different my friends.

xx Chavelita

Day 23: Weird thoughts...

For the most part if you have had the chance to get to know me personally, you may all have realized that I do not talk much. Sometimes people have to ask me my opinion on a certain matter or ask me questions to get me to share my thoughts which does not annoy me at all. Then for the most part I have no idea how to put my thoughts into words that I either forget to talk about it or I purposefully don't say them. Here I'll try to give you some insider as to what my thoughts consist of. Hopefully you all don't think I have lost my marbles or anything, I just find these thoughts to make absolute sense to me.

I have this logic that I have always been in this deep slumber apart from where I am now. While I am sleeping, that is when I am living this life right now. I am in the woods, in this red cabin, lying on a stiff bed while people are waiting for me to wake up to hear what I have experienced in my sleep. So I guess you can say that I do not believe in death? Just story teller after story teller.  (No I do not believe in reincarnation) 

I've been mesmerized a lot when I was younger that I had my own control. How I can move my hands, my fingers, my legs, toes, think without having no one tell me what I should think about, and just be sincerely happy that I was able to live this life. 

I swear like a sailor in my head and I am not sorry. 

When doomsday was supposed to have a couple of years ago I actually calculated how old I would be and wonder if I would have lived a fulfilled life by then. I also thought that Jesus was actually going to come down from the heavens during this horrible storm I had imagined while I was on the school bus, grab me by the arm, and run to safety with me. 

I was never curious where babies come from when I was younger, I had a lot more things to think about apparently. Eventually I was told casually where they came from and I do not remember being mentally scarred because I found the information to make sense. 

I have always been a shy, quiet girl that growing up I just began to talk to myself. Connecting with myself on a whole different level. Not out loud, of course not! (Only when I scold myself...) For the most part I have been the perfect friend for myself who understands me for who I am without having to explain myself why I behave and react the way I do now. 

Sitting down at the commissary (the supermarket on base) I was probably around the age of eight or nine and I thought, man God has made into this human where I get to accomplish whatever it is that I set my mind to... Then I thought of how I had this power, going back again with being given this life to help people because if they are struggling, then I should at least give it a shot just like Jesus did. (Promise me, I am not trying to convert anybody. You be you, and I will appreciate for the person you sincerely are.)

What weird thoughts do you have?

xx Chavelita

Day 14: Movies

Now coming into realization most of the films that I have picked are musicals... Ever since I was little I was always inspired by these musicals in some way. it was just something that brought comfort, inspiration, and happiness that a lot of things could be made possible if we were to strive for them. At least that was the concept that I received when watching these films. Of course the movies may have fictional plots that may not be likely to happen, but my young mind did not take that in consideration which is why if I were to ever have a bad day or want some alone time from everyone else I know that I can watch back these movies and for a moment relive my childhood.

Annie (1982) - I remember the first time I watched this movie I was probably in third grade and my teacher would not see the ending because well she thought it was not really kid friendly. Yet that only brought more curiosity into my system which made me want to watch the movie even more. Overall, out of all the times I have watched this movie it never gets old to sing along with Annie, to root her on when she beats up the boys in the beginning of the movie, and to still get anxiety when her horrible caregiver plans to be her parents to win the cash price. I am not apologizing for the spoilers, you guys should have already seen this classic!

 Fame (2009) - Before I get any lip, yes I have seen the first Fame that came out in the year 1980, but this remake had stuck with me more. I felt more movement with this movie and the soundtrack I want to say is blimming amazing... I have always envied Naturi Naughton (the girl who plays Denise in the movie) she has such a strong pair of lungs, I wish I had a voice like hers. Also Kay Panabaker (she plays Jenny in the movie) who also started off a shy girl in the movie with Denise, they both ended up pretty successful and well Jenny ended up with the gorgeous guy Marco (Asher Monroe) who also has a beautiful voice. You know what, this movie just gives me hope in general, lets leave it at that!

 Flashdance (1983) - "She's a maniac, maniac on the floor! And she's dancin' like she's never danced before!" Jennifer Beals is one gorgeous woman who plays the character Alex a day time construction worker and at night she dances at a bar. The qualities of Alex in this movie is what I look up to. A confident woman who is very passionate in dancing and will actually go out there to make her dream come true to become a professional dancer. The fact that she pulls out her bra from under her sweatshirt in front of Nick (Michael Nouri) in one of their first conversations, talk about no hoots being given in that scene! And of course her friendship with her dog.

 Hairspray (2007) - Can we all just take a moment to say how John Travolta (Edna in the movie) was able to stay in character throughout the whole movie without feeling weird during the rather intimate scenes with Wilbur (Christopher Walken) and still be one of the coolest moms? I still remember when I saw the trailer of the movie, I was instantly convinced that I had to go see this. To the point that even when I went to go see it I had this massive headache but I still kept my eyes planted on the screen. I actually have this movie on my i-Pod that shows how much love I have for this movie. This is a movie I can see multiple times and still fan-girl with Tracy (Nikki Blonsky) over Link (Zac Efron) and feel all mighty whenever Queen Latifah sang and gathered people to stop segregation or whenever she was on the screen.

 One Day (2011) - Regardless of what I have been told, this has been the top of my favorite romantic comedies. So yeah maybe Dexter (Jim Sturgess) was... rude (trying to keep it PG here) to Emma (Anne Hathaway), but there was already a part of me that knew they were meant to be together even if it took many years of reuniting on the same day to realize that. The relationship between them was very flawed which is what I loved and no where did I have the urge to cringe of how cheesy the lovey dovey parts were. This movie had kept me at the edge of my seat and I was mesmerized and a bit jealous of how Anne was able to pull off the many wigs she wore in this movie. She even had a wonderful accent... And Steve Sturgess just mmmm... Okay, I am done.

Princess Diaries (2001) - It's not because my dad calls this movie Princess Diarrea (diarrhea in Spanish) which just thinking about it made me just giggle but I actually find this movie to be witty, the right amount of girly attitude that shows that even the awkward girls can kick butt, and even though I grew up with this movie, I can still relate to this movie. When I was younger I was actually embarrassed for liking this movie because it was just one of those Disney movies made for little girls which okay I was a little girl the first time I saw it. Can we just say I had too much pride at the time? Now I don't really care what people think about me liking this movie. Well anyway, Mia (Anne Hathaway) tries to find where she fits in on top of finding out that her grandmother Clarisse (Julie Andrews) is the queen of Genovia which makes her the princess of Genovia. Just give me some popcorn and I will be content to rewatch this movie.

The Heat (2013) - Not sure which character I loved more, Detective Shannon (Melissa McCarthy) or Special Agent Sarah (Sandra Bullock) because both characters shared the spotlight. None of them shadowed one another and who ever had the idea of putting these two actresses together I just want to give you a high five. This movie forever had me laughing and yeah there was deep moments but they were good deep moments. I really enjoyed the balance of this movie and how much the characters of this movie developed with one another. I wouldn't mind watching this movie again, I probably end up laughing hysterically like the first time because there is never too much of Melissa McCarthy.

Identity Thief (2013) - Yeah you guessed it, I just can't have enough of my all time favorite actress Melissa McCarthy, I believe this was the first movie that introduced me into Melissa McCarthy which I will forever thank the movie producers for giving me the opportunity to meet this hilarious, weird, charismatic lady. I still remember the part where Diana (Melissa McCarthy) was riding in the car with Sandy (Jason Bateman) on the way to turn Diana in for stealing his identity and while she attempts to make a run from it, Diana within the first five seconds is already out of breath. Only thing Sandy had to do was walk a few steps and he had caught up with Diana. There is plenty of other hilarious moments but I'll save the blabber for another day.



What are some of your favorite movies?

xx Chavelita

Day 13: "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!"

There is only two things I feel like I'm excited about at the moment. One of them would be to see and hug my dad again for the first time in nine months and the second would be starting college. The only downside is that these two events almost happen around the same time, so I find it quite upsetting that I am not able to spend as much time with my dad after waiting for this eternity to end and for this moment to happen. On the other hand though, I'm actually pumped to start college which is another part of growing up and developing my character that would potentially tackle the world with the rest of the people who are attacking this world. I won't lie though, I am scared for this moment to happen because I know I would want to tap out within the very month or two that I was dropped off in college. Only do the people who went out of town for college can understand the same mixed emotions I am sensing because I will not be able to simply take a public bus home and sleep in my own bed with my parents asking me how my day went. Though as I have told plenty of people, if I do not leave now then I feel like I would never leave the comfort of my house. I am the one here detaching myself from my bubble, this comfort zone that I had created for myself the start of my freshman year of high school and well beginning from scratch to build a new comfort zone in college with my new not yet met peers and professors. The only thing that has kept my sanity together is the faith I have placed on myself that not everything will go as planned but at least I am giving this a try and I'm really running with the wind. College to me sounds like such a great opportunity, I have heard stories from my parents and I actually want stories of my own to share at the dinner table whenever I reunite with my loved ones. I know that this semester of college will probably not be the smoothest of semesters but I will not be the only freshman in college to be feeling those pangs of nostalgia, fear, and doubt. I just have to remain calm, smile and say hello to anyone I encounter, and try my best to transition myself into college mode.

What are you excited about?

xx Chavelita