Day 8: Growing up with brothers

As told by my parents, I was the last chance in them having a daughter. Before me, my two brothers were born. My oldest brother, Juan Carlos and my the runner up my brother Luis. I can relate to both of my brothers on different levels. With Juan Carlos I can relate to him with my passion to learn, getting a closer relationship with my religion, our quiet but understanding behavior, and always pushing to do the right thing. On the other hand, with Luis I can relate to the way that when he settles on something he has a hard time dropping it. This could be speaking over a certain topic or the future purchases he wants to make for himself, this guy should be on a debate team because he will continue to state his opinion until he is the only one left speaking. Sometimes he can be difficult but he also is really loving and will show you when you have gained enough of his trust. There has not been a day this summer that I have not been given a hug from him. Luis is taller than Juan Carlos, so when he hugs my head is at his chest and I can feel one of these days he is going to break my glasses because of hard he squeezes me! To grow up with brothers has had their good and bad days. Good because they tried to get me involve in most of their activities. There was one time in particular we had new neighbors move in and Juan Carlos was like, we should go say hi! But me being timid I knew I could not do it on my own so he helped me make friends with the girls who have moved in. Then the bad because my brothers would bump heads often. Their personalities are very similar and I want to say that is why they would fight. Verbally fight, but even then I would not want to be in the same room where the steam was being let out. For a certain time I had thought I was a tomboy because up until I was about the age of 7 all I did was play with my brothers. The Beyblades, the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Pokemon, video games, watching Dragon Ball, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Digimon... The list can continue my friends. I did have my fair share of Barbies that are still sitting somewhere in my room because my mom did not have the heart to let my Barbies go to charity, so perhaps when I have my own daughter we will play Barbies, but sometimes I had to convince my brother to play Barbies with me. I thought it was only just since I would play with his toys.

Whenever my mom was away and I was left with the boys of the house, those were the days where I also felt like one of the boys. Not that I was forced to not be the girl that I was, but it just felt nice to not think that my gender had an influence of how my brothers would treat me. I was still bullied with their love which is something that has not changed when I am found in a room with my brothers together. It was nice to be the youngest and the only sister, I did not have to grow up as fast as my brothers did and I did not have to share as much when it came to materialistic things. Whenever my brothers and I were left alone in the house, I would always let my brothers open the door if we had a visitor. I did not have to start taking the trash out until my senior year of high school because my brother would do it. Since Luis was a grade level below me when I went to grade school, he would always have an eye out for me. He did not let anyone hurt me and if he saw that someone was bothering me he would sort it out. He was like my big shadow always ready to come out when needed. I know now that growing up and not living in the same location all the time, over the phone I still tell him things that are bothering me and he still responds with "who do I need the beat up this time?". Although he is joking (at least I hope he is only joking now), he still knows how to make me feel safe. While Juan Carlos always kept me on my toes. He would recommend me books to read and help explain the homework I did not understand. Talking to him, I felt I would leave a little bit smarter at the end of our conversations. I never had the opportunity to go to grade school with Juan Carlos because we were four grade levels apart. Lets put it this way, when my brother graduated from high school, I had just graduated from middle school. When I graduated from high school, my brother had graduated from college. Which is why I believe that my relationship with my brothers are not the same but I still appreciate all the moments we shared.

Our childhood was pretty amazing. We have our insiders, we traveled to different parts of the world together and learned different cultures, we have our fights but later we forget that we were upset at each other, and that is something that I feel to lucky to be part of. Even though I struggled to make friends because I was so timid and most of the kids my age were boys, I learned to grow a tough layer from the beginning. I know that nothing is going to change how sensitive of a person I am but I learned to appreciate what I did have which were my brothers. I will never know what it feels to grow up with a sister but at the same time I am glad I did not grow up with sisters. To have sisters I would have to probably to share all my belongings and I am not sure how I would feel about that. To be the only girl, I get to have my mom all to myself to do all the feminine things and I would always be Daddy's girl. So maybe I am not missing out as much as I thought I did when I was younger.

How many siblings do you have?

From left to right: Liz, my sister-in-law, Juan Carlos, me and Luis

xx Chavelita

Day 16: What I miss...

Overall I miss having my family living under the same roof...

Since I am the youngest in the family, I basically saw my brothers growing older and soon leaving the house as they graduated while I still had a few years myself to finish up my high school career. I still remember my brothers and I we were walking to Walmart and on the way there just out of no where my oldest brother was really content that he would be the first one to finish school while my other brother in his voice I can sense a bit of jealousy. Then there was me also jealous and hurt to be the one left out. No one really warned me that being the youngest would be hard and weird because while your older siblings are out there figuring out their lives in the world, you're left behind growing up on your own and even watching your parents grow older as well. I think the youngest siblings are the ones who grow to be more sensitive because we tend to grow more attached to our parents since they're the ones who tend to be there the most.

On the other hand though, there are perks to being the youngest. You learn from your older siblings mistakes and you actually bond more with your parents now that there is more one on one time. My brothers pass down advice to me so that I wouldn't commit the same mistakes they did and told me to apply myself differently and more efficiently in the future. Just growing up with brothers, I grew up with the idea of how men are supposed to treat women and now I am aware of what I should look for in a guy, what qualities to avoid, and how I should to speak to a guy. I learned to become more independent, to be strong, to treasure all the wonderful things while they last, to set my own goals and achieve them. If you were to asked me a year ago if I was able to manage taking care of my mom on my own and vice versa, then I would tell you no, but when you're left with only one choice you end up taking the wheel, winging it as you go.

Just want you all to know that do not take family for granted whether you are living with your immediate family or not, cherish every moment you have together as a family. When you're young yeah it may seem like graduating is centuries away and getting your apartment is another pair of years but trust me when I say this, those years will pass so quickly that you are left with only the memories to fall back on, make sure they are memories worth smiling and crying for.

What do you miss?

xx Chavelita