Day 24: Petite & Proud

Ever since I was in school, from my first day of pre-kindergarten to my last day of my senior year of high school I have been known as the short girl. I bet people who I went to school with mainly associated me as the short girl which at the time was quite annoying and I perceived as disrespectful. Out of all of what my personality and my qualities offer and the one thing that people would leave with is is the fact that I was short. Great, even I could of looked in the mirror and realize that about myself. I have lost count to the many times I came complaining to my parents about my size and how because of my size people did not take me seriously. I even thought that because I was short that the guys I was interested in would overlook me. You see, when you are short for the most part people will think that you are weak or that you may need extra help when you are out in public. People automatically assume that being short, that taller people may have the upper hand. Which is how I thought about my size and I kind of just accepted my defeat there. My genes have made me this way and there was no way I was able to change my body.

To be fair, I think I was the biggest bully to myself because before anyone had the opportunity to mention anything about my size I was already putting myself down for it. I had this mentality that if I could beat someone to the teasing then I would not have fallen so hard if someone were to come and actually make comments. I had grown such a thick layer which sometimes growing a thick layer is good but mine was so thick to the point that I started to dislike myself. The what if's came in frequent waves. "What if I was taller..." "What if people saw me for who I am, like actually saw me, rather than seeing my size and automatically judging my talents..." "What if..." I had begun to fall in love with an idea of myself and was drifting away from my actual self.

Until I had reached college, things have changed. I started to look at myself from a different angle. I had come to meet with my flaw as being short because I had come to realize that being short is part of my personality. I started to view my shortness as a unique quality of mine because even though most of the people that go to my university are pretty tall, you find yourself standing out without even trying. People usually care less about how you look like, they may still stare, but for the most part at least I did not care at that point. I began to love myself again and for the healthy body that I have been too busy overlooking. In fact that is how I met one of my good friends from college. We used to live on the same floor and she was that type of person to greet everyone in the hall until one day she came over to my room. We got acquainted and we both spoke freely about where we came from. Sometimes my friend had some pretty unfiltered thoughts and she would occasionally mention how my short figure was what made her want to be my friend and first but then when she got to know me she was grateful to have gotten to know me. So I have come to realize that being short has their privileges. You are able to sit in the middle of the suspended chairs with your friends, you are able to sit at the outer seat of rides, since I am short I needed to ride with a companion most times so I did not have to ride on my own, you are able to get child discounts if you play your cards right, you get to still shop in the girls section at department stores for a cheaper price than the actual woman's wear, and so much more which before I had thought was embarrassing.

What I needed was a change of mindset and maturity to settle with the fact that I am going to be short for the rest of my life and that if I am ever going to be happy then I must accept myself for who I am. I cannot change my body but I can change the way I perceive my body. I totally believe that our Creator has made each and everyone of us into the perfect image that they had imagined us to be. At the time I did not understand why I was made this way but now looking at myself in the mirror I see my petite figure and what comes to my mind is strength. I can totally do what tall people can do and there is nothing wrong to ask for help if I cannot reach. To not be able to reach should be the least of my worries, if I am able to climb my way up then I will. Being a short girl is not that easy but as a short girl you learn to work yourself around the unreachable and you find yourself proving not just others wrong with your capabilities but you start to prove yourself wrong too. Being short is no longer my crutch but it is my step. I am petite and I am proud.

How do you perceive your body?

xx Chavelita

Day 17: So what about the stars?

As all of you may know about zodiac signs and how if you're in the right position of the stars and the planets and almost about every little thing that moves outside of our planet that we are meant to be have a really good day... For starters lets see what my zodiac sign, Cancer, says about me and the rest of those who fall into the same birthday range based on a few websites... To keep things brief I am only taking a few sentences from the description but I will leave the website for those who want to read in further detail.

1. "Cancerians love home-life, family and domestic settings...The moon is their ruler, so they can be a bit of a contradiction and sometimes moody. However, they are conservative, so they'll be apt to hide their moods from others altogether...Cancerians make loyal, sympathetic friends. "  Website No.1
2. "Cancer have an offbeat sense of humor, often finding something humorous that others don’t. They are extremely good listeners and have a heart for the problems of others...When a Cancer becomes your friend you can be sure that they are truly your friend and will not consider using someone to their own benefit. Cancer tend to be dependable and reliable...This sign can be moody, clingy, and often become incredibly insecure if they feel that they are about to lose the friendship or love of someone close to them." Website No.2
3. "Strengths: Compassionate, thoughtful, defensive, steadfast Weaknesses: Controlling, unable to let go of the past, lack confidence, have a bad magpie habit"Charismatic marks: Average build, round face, busty (women)" Website No.3
4. "Nurturing and protective, Cancer loves to take care of people and make everyone feel at home...Sensitive Cancer can take things personally, overreact and get upset at the drop of a hat. Mood swings are no fun to be around!" Website No.4
5. "Cancer Strength Keywords: - Loyalty - Dependable - Caring - Adaptable - ResponsiveCancer Weakness Keywords:- Moody - Clingy - Self-pitying - Oversensitive - Self-absorbed" Website No.5

Now I am not sure how accurate these websites are at evaluating people depending on the day they were born but I just cannot fathom an explanation of believing in something that I cannot comprehend. I do believe that in order to get to know someone is to actually physically give them a chance to prove themselves who they are to you. Now if you believe in your zodiac sign and the horoscopes that come along with the sign, then that is great. I believe that everyone has the free will and the right to believe in something and to have something to look up or to look forward to. Though I am certain that horoscopes are not meant for me and for me it does not define me for the person I am. Only I can define myself along with what I have learned from my experiences and from the people who have grown to know me. 

Do not get me wrong I know that my flaws could include being shy and reserved to new people and experiences, being hard on myself for not being able to explain my emotions or express my emotions to others, and jumping into conclusions but I knew these qualities before I was explained what were zodiac signs. I believe the one who noticed the most about my flaws was my mom because before I was able to gain a sense of memory she told me that I would cry if I wasn't near her. That if new people wanted to hold me she either had to be near me or I would just cry. I didn't handle new situations well and a part of me couldn't decided what I wanted. That was all before I could speak, now imagine me speaking and that just stirs up a whole another chaos within. So why would I let zodiac signs depict who I am and who I should be, when I know who I am and still figuring out what I should be? I'm pretty sure I could figure out myself more for observing my actions rather than looking up in the sky waiting for the stars to wink at me. 

What is your zodiac sign, and do you believe in it?

xx Chavelita 

How much are you covering?

"Who are you impressing today?"

Is like every time I do my hair I am asked that. Wearing good looking clothes? You're asked the same question. Wearing clothes out of your normal style? The question pops up once again. Wearing makeup or putting a little bit of extra accessories on? Exactly.

My answer? I do not dress to impress.

Now that answer may have different definitions.

1. I can careless as to what I wear.
2. I can careless about what people think of what I wear, it is for my self benefit and comfort.
3. Since when did I start to impress others?
4. At least I am dressed and not getting tickets for public disturbance. 

I dress the way I am to represent the person I am and sometimes the person I am likes to change things up a bit. Just as repeating that question over and over again can get tiring, repeating the same look can get tiring. A bit of change is healthy. Being in the comfort zone can get a bit stuffy and we need to get out for some fresh air filled with new ideas. To remove yourself out of the comfort zone is already difficult as it is, so why must someone make it more difficult to question our actions? Do not assume that the changes made is not the main purpose of impressing others or for a particular someone, but more to prove that you are much more than the person people may think you are. And if you are impressing someone, I am sure they will be stunned either way. Wear whatever it is that makes you happy whether it is the new suede pumps you bought, lipstick in the shade of purple, or a tight attire to emphasis your figure. Instead of people implying that you look beautiful/handsome, they should just straightly tell you (come on, why else would they ask?). I think people may ask this overused question is because they wish they could do the same thing you are doing, and that is to not be afraid of wanting to wear what they liked and bought. Just as negativity could be infectious, positive outputs could also strike chords. It all depends on how the person decides to view it though so be patient. They will soon realize that they could also dress to not impress. For now just ignore the question and do not let it stop you, each fashion trend has to start out someway, right?




What is your favorite piece of clothing/makeup/accessory that makes you stand out from others and make you happy?

xx Chavelita