Day 17: So what about the stars?

As all of you may know about zodiac signs and how if you're in the right position of the stars and the planets and almost about every little thing that moves outside of our planet that we are meant to be have a really good day... For starters lets see what my zodiac sign, Cancer, says about me and the rest of those who fall into the same birthday range based on a few websites... To keep things brief I am only taking a few sentences from the description but I will leave the website for those who want to read in further detail.

1. "Cancerians love home-life, family and domestic settings...The moon is their ruler, so they can be a bit of a contradiction and sometimes moody. However, they are conservative, so they'll be apt to hide their moods from others altogether...Cancerians make loyal, sympathetic friends. "  Website No.1
2. "Cancer have an offbeat sense of humor, often finding something humorous that others don’t. They are extremely good listeners and have a heart for the problems of others...When a Cancer becomes your friend you can be sure that they are truly your friend and will not consider using someone to their own benefit. Cancer tend to be dependable and reliable...This sign can be moody, clingy, and often become incredibly insecure if they feel that they are about to lose the friendship or love of someone close to them." Website No.2
3. "Strengths: Compassionate, thoughtful, defensive, steadfast Weaknesses: Controlling, unable to let go of the past, lack confidence, have a bad magpie habit"Charismatic marks: Average build, round face, busty (women)" Website No.3
4. "Nurturing and protective, Cancer loves to take care of people and make everyone feel at home...Sensitive Cancer can take things personally, overreact and get upset at the drop of a hat. Mood swings are no fun to be around!" Website No.4
5. "Cancer Strength Keywords: - Loyalty - Dependable - Caring - Adaptable - ResponsiveCancer Weakness Keywords:- Moody - Clingy - Self-pitying - Oversensitive - Self-absorbed" Website No.5

Now I am not sure how accurate these websites are at evaluating people depending on the day they were born but I just cannot fathom an explanation of believing in something that I cannot comprehend. I do believe that in order to get to know someone is to actually physically give them a chance to prove themselves who they are to you. Now if you believe in your zodiac sign and the horoscopes that come along with the sign, then that is great. I believe that everyone has the free will and the right to believe in something and to have something to look up or to look forward to. Though I am certain that horoscopes are not meant for me and for me it does not define me for the person I am. Only I can define myself along with what I have learned from my experiences and from the people who have grown to know me. 

Do not get me wrong I know that my flaws could include being shy and reserved to new people and experiences, being hard on myself for not being able to explain my emotions or express my emotions to others, and jumping into conclusions but I knew these qualities before I was explained what were zodiac signs. I believe the one who noticed the most about my flaws was my mom because before I was able to gain a sense of memory she told me that I would cry if I wasn't near her. That if new people wanted to hold me she either had to be near me or I would just cry. I didn't handle new situations well and a part of me couldn't decided what I wanted. That was all before I could speak, now imagine me speaking and that just stirs up a whole another chaos within. So why would I let zodiac signs depict who I am and who I should be, when I know who I am and still figuring out what I should be? I'm pretty sure I could figure out myself more for observing my actions rather than looking up in the sky waiting for the stars to wink at me. 

What is your zodiac sign, and do you believe in it?

xx Chavelita 

Adaptation Proclamation

Spatial time is pretty interesting standard unit of measurement that continues endlessly like this vortex. The seconds are leaving us one by one and by the time we realize that the seconds turn into years. I remember my first day of fourth grade wearing my favorite white polo shirt with the collar having ruffles on the edges and my navy blue skirt which I approved only for the fact that they had shorts underneath or else I would of thought twice before wearing something that made me feel like I was walking without pants. I was downstairs having my breakfast as usual and when I went upstairs I complained to my mom, "Why did I have to go to school? Why do you get to stay at home?" and of course my mindset was not yet developed so almost anything I say was unfiltered. Then my mom tells me that when you graduate like me, you will no longer have to go to school. I was so desperate for that day to come quicker and now fast forwarding into what is now 2015, the year in which I will graduate, this sensation seems unreal. The years turned into memories that have this great way of popping up spontaneously. Nothing I have imagined this year is happening to me right now. I think I can say is that change is unavoidable but can be managed.

Friendships will flourish and some will soon wither away, and I am here to say that both are okay. These experiences that are created with others allows you to see how much of person you have become whether you gain the confidence you were missing or grew depressed that life is not how you imagined it to be through the influence of your peers. We are only human and changes like these will be faced and your choice is valid to stay or leave for something else. Look at what you are taught as a database, in a database you do not use all the information that is in there (and also because that would be torture to your brain) but the information is there in case you do need to refer back. Just know that there will be people who will constantly come unexpected in your life and you will learn something out of them. Many of us are used to being close-minded when we sense that a friendship is leading into a similar path that only lead us into being hurt but because of that one experience ended terribly with a friend we cannot assume the rest will be the same... Who knows how the next person will effect you.

A step out of your comfort zone is something that was extremely difficult for me and perhaps to many of you too. Where you feel like you are in a blanket when you are among those you are comfortable with or in locations you have grown used to. I believe stepping out of the comfort zone is healthy though terrifying yes as if someone were to yank off your blankets on a early school morning but healthy. From the start of my final semester of high school, my lunch schedule remained the same while everyone else switched because of the new semester. In other words I did not have anyone to spend lunch with. The first few days I would walk to the lunch room early to reserve my usual place by placing my belongings and went to the lunch line before the river of people started to fill in the room. Soon as I got my lunch I would eat alone. I do not want pity but goodness was that experience awkward because a lot of people would pass by and just look at me eating... I am not a new species wanting to be discovered. I knew I had to find someone to have lunch with before I begin to count the all the adjectives I use to describe the tasteless music that blasted on the school's speakers. Since I volunteer my time at the office so many times in the last months, that is where I found my blanket of comfort. I knew most of the staff, all the counselors, and the counselor clerk (which I should start calling her my godmother because she is ha) and I would sit there until fifth period started to watch the office as everyone else leaves for lunch. Until I was formally introduced to a girl who has also been spending her lunches alone in the office and I was encouraged to have lunch with her. Now I have someone to spend lunch with and have small talk. To take chances is the moral of this story. You will pat yourself in the back later.

Lately I have been challenging myself to do things I would normally say no to. Such as being the first one to start the conversation with a stranger, to speak up not only for myself but for the ones I care about, to wear makeup more often, and to actually talk to my classmates. Baby steps, but I feel they are necessary steps that will build my character and to be more well rounded. Academics will always be my primary goal but I do not think it will hurt to practice my social skills and have somewhat of a social life to learn more about others through their stories. Adapting to this person I have become is such an evolution for me, for once I feel detached enough from people allowing me to breathe and take my own route but close to those I trust that I can go to if needed. If this is not independence, I am not sure how else that term will be defined.

Do you believe you have the power to transform into the person you want to be?

xx Chavelita

Discouragement is the devil

Raise your hand if you ever encountered the sensation of losing faith in what you believe in? Or to have this feeling that no matter how hard or how much you work to strive for success you still feel stuck? Well I'm going to be straightforward with you all, it's the worst. We try to pick up our loose pieces but we drop them as soon as we see someone else finding the success you were grasping for. Well the only way to get through discouragement is to actually tackle down the problem. I have my waves but the way I manage to get through them is to remind myself of the accomplishments that were completed. If I were to get through those, what makes the the next problem any different? At the moment it may seem like you're climbing up a snowy mountain, never ending and tiresome, clueless as to where you will end up to be. The atmosphere so thick that you cannot see in front or in back of you but you keep pushing forward because we have this mentality that we've made it this far that to give up seems like a waste of effort. 

To friends I've been telling them to believe in themselves. Yes it is easier said than done, but it is a crucial step to take. A friendly reminder from yourself to yourself. Practice it. Preach it. Sing it. Scream it. Do whatever it takes to get that message engraved into your head. Do not throw in the towel just yet if you feel like something is not working out change it up a bit. Pick your battles carefully and plan them out. Do not just plan one out but a good set of three just in case you change your mind or something does not work out that you have a back up plan to soften your fall. 

Be optimistic. Apply your talents whenever you can, try not to take your failures too personally. I cannot promise you that everything will work out because that would be a lie but I can promise you that the sooner you get up the better. Keep the ball rolling and do not compare yourself to others successes because your successes are incomparable to others. Only you know what those successes are worth. Do not let other things or people dull you or of your achievements. If people congratulate you for them bless their hearts but don't let that distract you either. Just like the book Me Before You, “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” (You should read this novel when you have the chance). So yes, live your life and avoid getting stuck. If you do, find a way to get back on your feet. Time is not stopping for anybody so use it to your full advantage. 

PS The new year is coming up perhaps take this time to clean up your plan and tweak it if needed. Change can be refreshing but be careful as well. Maintain a balance within yourself and others. Do not completely isolate yourself from distractions or people but do not get attached to anyone either. 

What are your plans to live life to the fullest? 

xx Chavelita