Yes I was on Ask.Fm again, and yes there is still some disrespectful people on there but that is the wrong blogpost, as I was getting ready for bed someone sends me this question, "Why are you so pretty and confident!!" Although there is no question mark found in that sentence I couldn't stop blushing. I was a bit starstruck you can say to an anonymous. And I replied,
"I'm pretty because of my genes (don't ask what in my weird mind made me say that) and I'm guessing my personality aha and I'm confident because I'm tired of people taking others for granted and not speaking up for themselves (that used to be me). So I try to present the image of a confident lady so I inspire others to be confident in themselves. Embrace yourself, flaunt your flaws and someone will come along and love you for who you are. It's all in my blog honestly. And thank you. :)"
I wanted to elaborate more on that response because confidence is something that we all struggle to gain. Some days our confidence level is at the brim ready to spill out and other days we barely have any confidence to even leave the house. Confidence is hard. I am not going to lie or sugarcoat. There are days that I stare myself in the mirror and wonder what people see in me or notice in just that short glimpse. Not much other than my physical features such as I am a short female with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I feel people at first impression only see maybe ten percent of the person you are. The rest of the ninety percent is all formulated through experiences, stories, and memories. So it wouldn't be fair to compare your whole one hundred percent on someone else's ten percent. You are not giving yourself a chance nor are you giving the other person a chance. I know looks can be deceiving, people's behavior can be confusing, and meeting people for the first time can be a bit of a plot twist. Though we are not all perfect, even those who may be bubbly most of the time face similar issues so please do not compare yourself or create assumptions that they have it better. With confidence comes power and without confidence comes with insecurities. In my opinion, I would rather have a little bit of power than a whole load of insecurities. Insecurities are like the Thursday's in my life in a school week, it would feel like a Friday but you still have another day to go until the weekend. You have to learn to live with your insecurities, become best friends to the point where you know them inside and out that allows you to gain your own voice. Then maybe the ten percent that you are allowing people to see will become an eleven percent or higher.
The way I gain confidence is learning from my previous mistakes and how uncomfortable and frustrating they caused me at the time. I remember going to church one day with my family and we went to a different mass than the one we normally go to and my luck I was sitting next to someone I did not know. I would of not mind other than the fact that the man would not give me my personal space. I kindly pushed him away but he kept pushing back. My mom noticed how uncomfortable I was so she switched seats with me and told the man what he was doing. I wish I had spoken up that day...
One of the largest pet peeves is when people instead of asking me to help them on homework (which I would try my best in doing) ask me for the answers. I am no homework bank where I can reproduce you the work at any given moment for no cost. It's probably the only time where I am noticed from others around my age group and it aggravates me. Though do not do what I did and question, "why am I so different from everyone else? why don't I fit in?". You do fit in somewhere, maybe not with the group you think you did but somewhere else and I will tell you when you find your group you will feel so much better. Your self image will bloom and you will laugh at those people searching for other sources of gaining their work. Do not lower your standards to people who will not live up to them, change because of your own benefit.
What is something that annoys you about people?