Why are you so confident?

Yes I was on Ask.Fm again, and yes there is still some disrespectful people on there but that is the wrong blogpost, as I was getting ready for bed someone sends me this question, "Why are you so pretty and confident!!" Although there is no question mark found in that sentence I couldn't stop blushing. I was a bit starstruck you can say to an anonymous. And I replied,

"I'm pretty because of my genes (don't ask what in my weird mind made me say that) and I'm guessing my personality aha and I'm confident because I'm tired of people taking others for granted and not speaking up for themselves (that used to be me). So I try to present the image of a confident lady so I inspire others to be confident in themselves. Embrace yourself, flaunt your flaws and someone will come along and love you for who you are. It's all in my blog honestly. And thank you. :)"

I wanted to elaborate more on that response because confidence is something that we all struggle to gain. Some days our confidence level is at the brim ready to spill out and other days we barely have any confidence to even leave the house. Confidence is hard. I am not going to lie or sugarcoat. There are days that I stare myself in the mirror and wonder what people see in me or notice in just that short glimpse. Not much other than my physical features such as I am a short female with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair. I feel people at first impression only see maybe ten percent of the person you are. The rest of the ninety percent is all formulated through experiences, stories, and memories. So it wouldn't be fair to compare your whole one hundred percent on someone else's ten percent. You are not giving yourself a chance nor are you giving the other person a chance. I know looks can be deceiving, people's behavior can be confusing, and meeting people for the first time can be a bit of a plot twist. Though we are not all perfect, even those who may be bubbly most of the time face similar issues so please do not compare yourself or create assumptions that they have it better. With confidence comes power and without confidence comes with insecurities. In my opinion, I would rather have a little bit of power than a whole load of insecurities. Insecurities are like the Thursday's in my life in a school week, it would feel like a Friday but you still have another day to go until the weekend. You have to learn to live with your insecurities, become best friends to the point where you know them inside and out that allows you to gain your own voice. Then maybe the ten percent that you are allowing people to see will become an eleven percent or higher.

The way I gain confidence is learning from my previous mistakes and how uncomfortable and frustrating they caused me at the time. I remember going to church one day with my family and we went to a different mass than the one we normally go to and my luck I was sitting next to someone I did not know. I would of not mind other than the fact that the man would not give me my personal space. I kindly pushed him away but he kept pushing back. My mom noticed how uncomfortable I was so she switched seats with me and told the man what he was doing. I wish I had spoken up that day...

One of the largest pet peeves is when people instead of asking me to help them on homework (which I would try my best in doing) ask me for the answers. I am no homework bank where I can reproduce you the work at any given moment for no cost. It's probably the only time where I am noticed from others around my age group and it aggravates me. Though do not do what I did and question, "why am I so different from everyone else? why don't I fit in?". You do fit in somewhere, maybe not with the group you think you did but somewhere else and I will tell you when you find your group you will feel so much better. Your self image will bloom and you will laugh at those people searching for other sources of gaining their work. Do not lower your standards to people who will not live up to them, change because of your own benefit.

What is something that annoys you about people?



xx Chavelita

That awkward moment when we all succeed...

How come some people like to state the obvious? "Hey you're short!" "Did you see the size of that pimple on that person's face?" Why is it that we create judgements before we have the time to get to know the person for who they really are? It seems a bit unfair if you ask me, call me a hypocrite because I do it too but instead of pointing out the negatives why not the positives or point something that you do not normally see in someone?

To distinguish the traits of others is beautiful for the fact that you are recognizing for the person they are, though when the gossip begins it is not only destroying the image of that person but your image. Whatever it is that you do, reflects back. Not all the time when you do a kind gesture you will get a kind reflection back but it should not stop you to continue those gestures. People are forgetting what it is to be nice to others, that when you do something nice in return they think that it is because you want something in return. One of the worst phrases I have been hearing more often is, "It's okay, I am used to it." No it's not okay that people treat you like dirt, it's not okay when someone abuses your rights or does not give you an equal opportunity like others, IT'S NOT OKAY TO TAKE LESS THAN WHAT YOU DESERVE. If you put enough effort in what you do, you should not be the one having to bust your ass for others incompetence. Yes you should help others, but not until the point where you find yourself having to pull everyone else's weight because that is not your job. If people are not willing to take things into serious manners and not work for the position they want, it is their failure not yours. Do not take the fall for someone else, that will only underestimate the talents you are presenting and people will only assume that they can take you for granted. Be confident speak up when you do not like something, be open-minded to what is being said but not gullible that you will believe in everything you hear, be kind to remind people that kindness still exist, and love yourself for every flaw that you may not like and use it as your super power to defeat those who point them out. If you are already acquainted with your weakness, then it is a head start to happiness in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent". Be proud of who you are, forget those who makes you feel little, and if you need to start over, then start over. Prove to people of what you are capable of. Nothing is more accomplishing than astonishing those put you down and told you that you would not go far. You have to believe in yourself, before others begin to believe in you. Only you know the path in which you want to take, everything else will either help you get there or distract you from your destination, keep your eyes open and keep moving forward.

PS. It is up to you how you want to view things, nothing is one sided.


What is the first thing you notice in someone you are not familiar with?



xx Chavelita

Bumblebee

I thought you should meet another person I am grateful to have in my life. For privacy, the person I am going to speak about we will call her Bee.

It is almost a year since I met Bee and she has created such a large impact in my life she is probably the one who helped boost my self esteem and molded me into the confident being that I am. Turning my flaws into beautiful imperfections, that makes me stand out from the rest of the world. Normally when I meet people who I am on a professional platform, I do not like to go personal. I was told by a teacher in my sophomore year of high school that, "we are not friends" to our class and that because she had given us her number to call if we had any questions on the homework it does not mean we could text her. That mentality stuck with me, oddly it did make sense at the moment because students and teachers were separate things at the time but it all changed my junior year. I will not lie I was confused, we could not text teachers but joining the IB program they give you their numbers to text them if anything (unless otherwise told that you can't) and I was I actually afraid to text my teachers since I thought it was pretty unorthodox to do. It was not until my friend persuaded me to text her and by the things she told me, perhaps it was okay to do so. It all started with a simple text message and from there our friendship flourished. She started to lean on me and I did the same in return. Her background stories are moving you would not expect stories like that coming from a bubbly person like herself. Though she does apologize a lot for little things which I think may not deserve an apology. I could say she is part of my family she is tied between the big sister or an aunt to me including her beautiful children. I can tell her anything and it would be casual which is one of the things I love about her. The little moments when I do have her for myself I find myself laughing and listening to her stories since I do not talk much, I believe there is hardly ever an awkward moment with her. Anytime spent with her makes me happy.

One of my favorite memories I had with her is when she took me to one of her presentations and when she took me back home. We spoke at my drive way for an hour or so in her car. I was surprise to say that my parents did not realize that I was out til 9 on a school night even less in the drive way so technically I was at home just not in it. It is probably one of the simplistic memories I share with her but I just love how quiet the night was. No distractions and it was just us two spending time together sharing our own memories. It was also the day I gave her a rosary in her favorite color and the moment she opened her gift, it was like Christmas morning. Her face was glowing and astonished that she even gave me a hug (we had never hugged until that day, I'm usually the hugging type of person but I somehow grew uncomfortable to hugs).

Bee is one of my inspirational role models, against the odds she still finds a way to tackle on the day with her work, caring for her children, all on her own. With her charismatic attitude, beautiful smile, and her perky lipstick this lady is going places! I'm honestly having a difficult time writing this blogpost since I cannot fathom the words to describe how wonderful she is. You have to meet her for yourself to understand the emotions I am going through. I love you, Bee! Continue being the person you are, accomplish your set dreams and I am sure the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet!

This is why I am telling you that you should give everyone a chance, you will never know who you will meet and have your life changed.



xx Chavelita

The fear of communicating

By far this would probably be my greatest obstacle course I have come along to. Simply speaking was a challenge for me since I was small that I would actually cry almost everyday at pre kindergarten because my Mom couldn't stay with me. To be around unfamiliar faces makes me feel uncomfortable even more when I don't have a friend along with me. Though as I've grown older, I have learned a bit tricks to break the awkward ice.

1. Say hello! 

I know this may sound a bit redundant but if you greet someone you are already engaging into conversation. Perhaps ask them how have they've been because for starters everyone secretly loves to speak about themselves and loves someone who will listen to what they have to say. 

2. Ask common questions

You would probably want to start asking questions to that person when the right time comes (normally after greeting them is the right time) but you do not want to scare them off by asking too personal questions. Your first objective is to get to know the basics of the person: birthday, their favorites and dislikes such as food, seasons, treats and maybe their nationality if you're curious I know I would. 

3. Should I stay or move on?

I believe that everyone should deserve at least one chance to begin with. Though if the answer to the previous questions did not quite suit you then maybe you should move on. You're not obligated to be with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or causes you to change to suit their habits. A friendship should make you feel happy and have the ability to trust the other person. If you're already doubting yourself with that person then you probably already the answer to that (move on). Not everyone you will meet, you will like but do not give up keep meeting new people and expand your horizons with them.

4. Trust fall

This step is rather tricky and risky because it could either go two ways either they support you and keep information that you tell them to themselves. Or they would go behind your back and tell everyone they know. For me I take an extremely long time to get to this platform but I have also learned that you should be able to take as much time as you need to get there. Begin with the little things such as the last person you kissed or dated, a person you may like or dislike, a fact about yourself that no one knows. I recommend you begin with the little things as a sort of test to see where this friendship is standing at. If they pass then congratulations you have made a good friend! Though if they did leak some of your information I would be careful with that person and even though they may say it was an accident, I would not be surprised that they would to do it again. 

5. Personal questions 

After passing the trust fall I think it would be safe to say to ask personal questions. Get to know your friend a bit deeper. Do not overload on these questions though because you can make your new friend to be uncomfortable. Only ask these questions when the right opportunity may come and be aware that at any time they may ask for your opinion based on the question you asked so be honest, tactful, and understanding. 

When I make friends I'm like the little turtle in the story with the rabbit and the turtle, who takes his sweet but persistent time to get to his goal while the rabbits here are making friends like a snap of a finger. I'm quite slow and steady when it comes to meeting new people, I was never the expert of being able to create a mass load of friends (hell I'm not even a expert in communicating ahaha). I wasn't able to manage but with a handful of friends I was able to get to know them more for who they are and it seemed simpler because you have less people to attend to. Though that is my opinion on friends, I just hope that you make good, healthy, careful friendships and that you do not take anyone for granted.

Photo credit to Sam, our emergency ice cream runs

Photo credit to Sam, you don't understand how much I leaned on these two girls (Sam and Ana). Las tres chicas! 

Hopefully this was helpful and if so I'll leave you with this question: Have you ever met someone you have least expected to become friends with? And if so, how did you meet them? (I feel the unexpected ones are the best ones yet!)

xx Chavelita