The bullying needs to stop

"Since when was being different a bad thing?"

This idea has been stuck in my head for the past few days and what most saddens me to hear is that there is not much happening to tackle the issue of bullying. Yes there is bullying programs to support those facing troubling times of being misunderstood but where is the reinforcement? There is a difference between stating individuals that bullying should not be practiced and to actually enforce the rules and punishments of bullying related situations. I find some bullying programs to be hypocritical because they do not solve anything. To those who are reinforced I have no problem, continue the reinforcement but for those who sends out messages without a foundation? What about bullying that should be done? How are we going to tackle this issue that not only attacks the person who is being bullied emotionally but also changing their ideas about themselves? Fantastic, the students are watching people's stories of how they overcome bullying and are being shown endless amounts of PowerPoints about the dangers of bullying and ways to prevent or assist the situation, but how many of the audience who are participating in this program are being affected? What ever happened to the guest speakers who would tell their story at the local cafeteria or gym? If it is because of budget cuts, then how is it that we can fund for a bullying program who is doing a minimal effect to support the victims of bullying or even those who are bullying the victims? Obviously there is something that is just not clicking. Bullying is a taught action, no one is born with the ability to bully and if I am wrong about this then I am frighten to know how genetics has changed over the years.

I believe that not only does the victims of bullying need help but those who are bullying too because as mentioned this action has to come from some source of influence whether it is by caretaker, media, or unresolved issues that are affecting the individuals in their mindset. What is the core of bullying? This is the question that I mainly want an answer. What does the person who bully get in return? Temporary satisfaction? Then after that temporary satisfaction, do you bully other people to get that surge of pride? I am pretty sure that there is a sensation of remorse happening within any bullying situation. I cannot empathize but only sympathize bullies because I believe that everyone is bright in their own way but belittling people will not make anyone glow brighter or dimmer. If jealousy is the drive to the bullying, why not be friends with the person instead of having to bully them to feel awful about themselves? Saves people's lives, heartaches and drama. If happiness is the issue, what is causing this unhappiness? Perhaps bullying happens is because there is no support or anyone to hear out what the bullies have to say which builds up the frustration and a way to get the attention of others is to gain an audience through bullying. Instead of telling people that bullying is wrong, how about allowing the individuals to state what is on their minds and a method that works best to solve the issue? A slap on the wrist will be insufficient or any type of discipline that consists of violence could be counterproductive and may even encourage the bully to mirror this behavior.

Parents, please speak to your kids. The earlier you get to your kids, the better it will be for the both of you. Let them know that they are loved regardless if you have told them already, shower them more in that undivided love. Allow your children to speak freely and be comfortable knowing that if they are the bullies or the victims in bullying that there is definitely an opportunity to change. As we are people, mistakes are made and if something was learned from that mistake I believe that the individual should have a chance to fix their error. However, also take the cautionary and appropriate actions to settle the situation. Violence will not be solved with violence. Choose words carefully, be assertive with your actions when dealing with bullying. Parents I also want to let you know that you have every right to feel angry, doubtful, concerned about your child who are victims in bullying. This shows that you care for your child and are taking into consideration of the dangers. Breaks my heart that there are so many cases of bullying and very little action is taken by the school that you parents have to go to the school to fight for the safety of your children. Just know that any attempt to fix the problem, is worth it. Do not stop until you get the conditions that you want it will not be easy, but the impact will be an eyeopener for sure.

Why am I speaking about bullying? Well I am fed up with what I am seeing and hearing. To have children with a mental disorder be bullied or taken advantage of, people posting awful commentaries anonymously towards other individuals, to see someone get bullied to the point where they see no point in living, I want this to stop. I want bullying to stop right now, before anyone else gets hurt or spends a restless night contemplating of why they do not fit in based on the opinions of others. If you are waiting for a sign to make a change, make this your sign. I cannot stress this enough just think what would you want to do to keep the ones you love, safe?

Listed below will be hotlines that will help victims out of bullying and bullies to find a place to be heard (remember these hotlines are open 24/7 so please do not wait there is help out there I am most certain of it!):

Crisis Call Center800-273-8255 

CyberTipline
800-843-5678

National Suicide Hotline800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
800-442-HOPE (4673)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline800-273-TALK (8255)

Please take care of yourselves, just know that I am also here for you!



P.S. If you do not fit in, there is nothing wrong with that, that means you are interesting! This means that there are no boundaries that limit you to who you want to be or who you are!

xx Chavelita 

Nothing but clever thoughts

I have constantly been asking myself for the reasons behind the behaviors of others, most importantly my peers (alright, my acquaintances) and is like the pile of disappointments are outweighing the positives.

It is sad that some students do no understand that our teachers are as human as we are, or in fact more human than we are for actually being able to make a living through their own teachings. People forget that teachers go through regular stress and drama of their own and because they are not asked it does not mean that it is not occurring. Not many give their teachers a chance and instead they come up with assumptions for one independent event. Such as when I work in my school's office, it is about a regular that a student will complain that their counselor is never there when they come to see them. Excuse me, but a counselor has emergencies too, a counselor needs to nourish themselves during lunch time, a counselor gets sick too because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO! Amazing, right? They have blood and flesh just like us, it's remarkable. Honestly, if something is going to be said it should have evidence to actually back up what is going to be said. Some people complain about their counselor not being there and they only went twice. Besides instead of complaining (which could of been time used to do something productive) come during another time or email them. Whatever it is but people have to stop expecting that the world does not revolve around them.

Something happened today in my short day of class today, and it was that my classmates was laughing at their teacher who were stating her opinions and the fact the plagiarism is indeed something that should be avoided especially in IB where if a sentence is copied, that document will be immediately be voided ruining the chance of receiving the IB diploma. I do not understand what is so hilarious about a teacher looking out for her students, in fact she has every right to be scolding the students for previous copying that has been occurring. It is understandable that she is speaking to her whole IB class of this situation occurring and that to some students it should not be a problem but it is as if people are taking IB seriously. I cannot say that last year IB class were more structured and motivated to reach the highest potential they could possibly reach but from the look of my class it is the opposite. Students believe that they can get away with anything such as copying and not have the teachers notice, but when something stinks it is quite hard to not notice the smell. I am truly appreciated through the amount of time, work, and patience these teachers has given us because it is for them that I feel confident to continue this program knowing that if I do what they tell me to do, it is for my future benefit. Teachers are people too, with emotions and sometimes they do feel insecure but the magic of actually socializing with them and getting to know them you will soon realize how hilarious they are and what similar interests that are shared.

It is quite annoying that I come up with the cleverest things to say after my opportunity to actually say it. This is something I want to work on, I am tired of being the bystander who hears everything and does not do anything about it. I have a voice, I should use it even if it means getting judgments from certain people or group of people.

(Just because you casually speak to your teachers/counselors, it does not make you their pet. It means you're mature enough to see that the differences are actually similarities.)

Has there been a time when you just want to slap some sense into people?

xx Chavelita

You're so short

The first week of school I may have mentioned before that I was bullied for my height (something I have absolutely no control over) and instead of just keeping it to themselves they decide to compare heights with me like if I did not notice what they were doing. I want to address that my small size is only the outer part that I cannot hide about myself, and what people do is automatically create assumptions that because I am short they have every right to treat me like a child. Excuse me while I go grab a stool to slap sense into those people. I did not choose to be short as I told my best friend, neither did I choose to be a target. I already have to live with the fact that my doctor said that I am done with growing, that going shoe shopping becomes a chore because I have the smallest feet you can imagine and the tiniest wrists that every bracelet I wear slips right off which is why I do not wear or buy any.

Just because I have to look up most of the time to see people in the eye, it does not mean that I am looking up to you while in fact I only look up because I prefer to see a face than a crotch (and it is more respectable to give someone eye contact when you are speaking with them). Let just say that I am considerate to see faces or if not I would just look at the floor or the person's stomach. Something that agitates me the most is that people who I have no history with begin to speak in this idiotic ignorant tone of voice. I should just speak the same way back and instead throw sarcastic comebacks until they realize that I am not "10" because I am tired of those who correlates age with height. I do not correlate attitude with age, so do not correlate my age with my height. Many underestimate the power of what a short person can handle, not all of us who are short need help. If I cannot reach something in my house I will find a way to climb to my destination before I ask someone for help. I have climbed multiple countertops, pantries and closets you can say that I am pretty certified to handle the unreachable. 

As to this day I still have people ask me bluntly without even knowing my first name, "Why are you so short?" and sometimes I want to say "have you learned anything in Biology or were you too busy having your head up somewhere that doesn't shine?" Of course I am the implosive type of person so I would not say something like that out loud, but why do people ask such obvious questions is beyond ridiculous. I will teach you if you want. Everyone has genes in definition are molecular unit of hereditary of a living organism. Think of them as the instructions in the creation of a human. When a male and a female reproduce to have their children genes from both parents are mixed together to produce the new traits of the child. (Punnet squares are very lovely to paint the picture of the possibilities of their child and what traits they are likely to gain). I like to see myself as Gregor Mendel's pea plant experiment as the shortest pea plant that grew out of the other three plants. Family history plays a huge role of how I inherited my short height because my Dad's mother did not even reach 5 feet just like me though his father was a tall man. My Mom on the other hand her mother was about average height as so her father but being short did run in her family too. It just so happens that I was short because all of these factors affecting my genes. Now you know that before you ask obvious questions, maybe you should open up a Biology book and educate yourself on the human body. 

Height is nothing that should define you of the person you are. There will be ignorant people I have learned that will just want to upset you and just remember that they are not worth your time. Give them a sarcastic comment that either leaves them confuse or staring back at you with disgust. Either way they will stop to bother you. Do not let people take advantage of those sensitive emotions you have. One of the funny comebacks I like to say is, "I am glad you have a good pair of eyes to notice the obvious, congratulations!" 

Hopefully I have taught some of you something. Do not to be that person who states the obvious please I might as well walk around with a piece of paper in front of me with "STOP. THINK. SPEAK." 

How do you tolerate ignorant people?

xx Chavelita 

Social Norms or Stereotypes?

This is quite an unavoidable topic to simply skip and this has been on my mind most of this week to be in fact. As little as we begin to gain a memory capacity in our brains in which we can actually record events and have an ability to recall it for future use, social norms are already impacting us. It is crucial as babies of what we learn that parents may not realize that what they are teaching or the choices they decide to take not only affect them but their child. It could even be the tiniest of things such as the type of toys being bought, to the colors of their clothing.

Social norms is surrounding us and I do not think it is something we can put aside compared to the massive influence it has on certain countries. Speaking apart to my own country which is the United States there are numerous times at school where people will throw out the term, "that's gay" to something feminine. There are two wrongs there, one is that gay is being used as an offensive adjective in this context and two that gay is immediately associated with feminine. (Women are not weak trust me) In addition it is putting down femininity by stating that having feminine qualities automatically makes you the weaker individual. Simple ignorance of terms and phrases is something that I personally cannot tolerate because people are putting down others for things that they may not even be able to change. They probably do not understand the situation or the person to be throwing around words that may not have much meaning to say given individual but have a whole different meaning to the person that is being told. (If you're gay, I apologize for the people who put you down without even giving you a chance to shine. Continue fighting, do not let them win.)

"You scream like a girl." "Man up." "Boys cannot play with dolls, those are for girls." "Oh he's homeless, I wonder what he did to get there..." "Blue for boys, pink for girls." "The man goes to work, while the woman stay at home to take care of the kids."

Soon we learn that social norms can turn into stereotypes or vice versa that manipulate the perspective of the world. Stereotypes are not instincts so it is definitely taught from one human to another, that soon spreads like wildfire. The following examples above on our social norms (the United States) is not all but a few that I have grown up listening to from different people that I have met. At first I did not understand what these phrases and their meaning behind it because I was naive, but now realizing it is quite rude and offensive. Sometimes people do not allow others that chance to prove themselves because of many reasons for example their ethnicity and history behind the way they impacted our country. Such as the Twin Towers incident happening in September of 2001 now everyone who wears a turban are soon questioned or given judgmental looks. I do understand that at the time this event was occurring I was turned away from the media and did not know what was happening but I do know that because of something that happened in the past it should not make us paranoid of what could happen in the future. Yes be careful but do not let an event control your life. In fact, security should of been enforced before something like this had to happen to open our eyes. May those who died rest in peace.

A girl like me are constantly being tested, it is not until now that I am allowed to do more things independently. The reason why I could not was because I was not able to protect myself or take care of myself to be able to walk a few blocks from my house to the school or the library without my parents having a heart attack. I understand that they're concern but ideas like these are lowering my self-confidence. I want to be a girl with good self-confidence and self-esteem and it's like with the media of perverts attacking on girls and defacing them, models defining what is "beauty", and with job opportunities and their tensions it is like an endless test to prove myself that I can do it. Same with guys because they are just affected but the country that I live in it's a male dominant country. Please do not tell me that girls have gotten their right to vote and privileges because of the 19th Amendment and everything is all dandy. I would be content if the pay was equal to men, that I am not expected to always be at home taking care of my child, and for once see a single mom taking care of her child without having to be asked questions of the father and how she's going to support herself and her child. 

I live in a world where no one can win so we decide the path to where we can lose the least amount and still barely make happy. This blogpost is something out of the usual to what I write but I would like to see what your opinion it is to either social norms or stereotypes of your country. By means this was not written to cause arguments or to attack anyone mentioned. I respect your opinions and it is fine to think differently of the things mentioned today. I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings. 

xx Chavelita