Day 27: Bad Day pass

For the longest time I would have considered myself as the Debby Downer out of my group of friends. Not because I saw more the negative side of things and would dwell on them more (which come to think of it, that could of been a factor, the dwelling part not the seeing everything as negative part) but I think because I have been such an optimistic growing up that I feel like a bit of the overlooked negativity caught up with me. I would try my best to avoid the bad days that I would repress my problems and would attempt to find a way to not let the bad days happen. Like that could happen. That worked until they became too much to handle that led to just more stress and trouble in my direction. I began to realize that not everything is as rosy and pretty and being positive all of the time is exhausting! I did not understand the difference between what a pessimistic would view the world and what a bad day entitled. This was me for the majority of my adolescences, I just did not like having to deal with my problems and the stress that came with it and to not tell anyone seemed like such a great answer! I cringe at the way I would treat myself in the past, always trying to put on a brave face to make sure I was the least of someone's worries. And you know what? Everyone is worth worrying about. Not too much worry that it brings in stress and anxiety but enough to know that you care about their well-being. I did not realize at the time, but the more you keep quiet the more suspicion is brought on you, and no matter if you win the award for best hidden emotions, people are still going to worry about you.

Everyone is entitled to having their bad days. Some people like to show that they are having a bad day through social media or other forms of communication and other people like to have their bad days in private or with a close friend. Even the most positive people you may encounter have their bad days and they deal with their bad days. The more you get older, I believe, and you still find a way to remain a positive outlook on life and world, should be handed an award. Problems get more complicated when you have to start making your own decisions and life can sometimes be an emotional roller coaster. Yes and even adults have to take a moment for themselves to settle into the situations that are thrown at them. Overall, I want to say that I am not an optimistic but I also do not like to dwell in negative aspects of life so I find better methods to handle with the not so pretty parts of life. I started using my words and stated the things that I did not like or that have been bothering me. You come to understand that there are just days where if in order to get over something and feel better is if you need to cry it out or throw out some swear words, then be my guest.

Everyone has different ways of dealing with stress, some habits better than others, but I just hope that you are finding a healthy outlet to let go of some of that stress that is preventing you from being happy. Just like everyone is entitled to have bad days, everyone is also entitled to being happy. I wish there was such thing as a Bad Day pass at work or at school and with that being said you were excused. Like instead of a Sick Day pass when you got the flu, you have a Bad Day pass because it is important to also take care of your mental health. Just because you cannot detect immediately whether someone is emotionally well or not, it does mean that the potential of someone being in distress does not exist. So do not feel bad or non-deserving for the days that you happen to feel sad, I rather you acknowledge your problems for what they are than to stay quiet with your thoughts and coming up with conclusions that do not pair up with your problem. Just make sure you are not revisiting the same problem, one visit should be plenty.

My mama instincts are showing, but just know that I care for your well-being. You can still be strong and have bad days. Those bad days strengthen you not weaken you.

Do you wish Bad Day Passes existed?

xx Chavelita

Day 20: Talking

For as long as I can remember, I have been a quiet and private person. I can probably hold a secret for so long that I eventually forget unless someone brings up something similar to what I know. Not sure if that is a talent or not but it does show that I hold a lot of information within me and if I am not asked about what I know then that information just begins to be stored deeper and deeper into my memory. I have always been the listener among my friends. If I talk it is usually when I have something to say, which is what I am doing right now. And you know what, talking it is not all so bad especially when you have a great listener and responder to hear you out. Sometimes I am like a tea kettle, you can pour water in me and I would remain quiet but once when you add heat that is when you are going to start hearing me. Not that I have to feel heated or upset over something to get me to start talking but if you bring up interesting topics or ask me questions, controversial the better, I can speak for hours. In high school I had history for my last period of the school day and while mostly everyone were just dying to get out and go home I would typically stay behind to have intriguing conversations with my history teachers. Since my history teachers' classrooms were relatively close they would just visit each other in their classrooms for group discussions. The topics could range to the most nonsensical topics like having a salad for breakfast to how can recycling have an effect on the environment. The topics were little to no where close to the history that was being taught during regular class hours.

Where am I really going with this? Well talking is beneficial for mental health. When you feel stressed or when you have no clue what to do with the thoughts in your head, it's pretty nice to have that go-to person to spill all the details to. That go-to person could be as simple as your sibling, parents, friends, and or your therapist. There may be a couple of people who take advantage of talking and that I have found annoying that they would talk too much during school but like Shrek said, "It is better out than in." Use your words, speak out your mind, structure your words to portray your ideas, however you prefer to share your thoughts, go for it! You may have the most brilliant ideas or thoughts screaming to be recognized but if you do not share them then how will that benefit anyone? For those who are not as much as the talkers like myself and who does not like to share a lot of the personal details with others, I just think it takes the right person to open you up. Do not feel like you need to change in order to find someone to talk with. Continue being yourself and whenever you are given opportunities to share what you are passionate about you should. You will also find that friend that you can trust with your thoughts, they may be a little hidden (or maybe in front of you the whole time) at first but usually the hidden ones tend to be the ones with one of the biggest hearts. Or be like me and start your own blog!

Have you spoken to anyone today?

xx Chavelita