Day 27: Bad Day pass

For the longest time I would have considered myself as the Debby Downer out of my group of friends. Not because I saw more the negative side of things and would dwell on them more (which come to think of it, that could of been a factor, the dwelling part not the seeing everything as negative part) but I think because I have been such an optimistic growing up that I feel like a bit of the overlooked negativity caught up with me. I would try my best to avoid the bad days that I would repress my problems and would attempt to find a way to not let the bad days happen. Like that could happen. That worked until they became too much to handle that led to just more stress and trouble in my direction. I began to realize that not everything is as rosy and pretty and being positive all of the time is exhausting! I did not understand the difference between what a pessimistic would view the world and what a bad day entitled. This was me for the majority of my adolescences, I just did not like having to deal with my problems and the stress that came with it and to not tell anyone seemed like such a great answer! I cringe at the way I would treat myself in the past, always trying to put on a brave face to make sure I was the least of someone's worries. And you know what? Everyone is worth worrying about. Not too much worry that it brings in stress and anxiety but enough to know that you care about their well-being. I did not realize at the time, but the more you keep quiet the more suspicion is brought on you, and no matter if you win the award for best hidden emotions, people are still going to worry about you.

Everyone is entitled to having their bad days. Some people like to show that they are having a bad day through social media or other forms of communication and other people like to have their bad days in private or with a close friend. Even the most positive people you may encounter have their bad days and they deal with their bad days. The more you get older, I believe, and you still find a way to remain a positive outlook on life and world, should be handed an award. Problems get more complicated when you have to start making your own decisions and life can sometimes be an emotional roller coaster. Yes and even adults have to take a moment for themselves to settle into the situations that are thrown at them. Overall, I want to say that I am not an optimistic but I also do not like to dwell in negative aspects of life so I find better methods to handle with the not so pretty parts of life. I started using my words and stated the things that I did not like or that have been bothering me. You come to understand that there are just days where if in order to get over something and feel better is if you need to cry it out or throw out some swear words, then be my guest.

Everyone has different ways of dealing with stress, some habits better than others, but I just hope that you are finding a healthy outlet to let go of some of that stress that is preventing you from being happy. Just like everyone is entitled to have bad days, everyone is also entitled to being happy. I wish there was such thing as a Bad Day pass at work or at school and with that being said you were excused. Like instead of a Sick Day pass when you got the flu, you have a Bad Day pass because it is important to also take care of your mental health. Just because you cannot detect immediately whether someone is emotionally well or not, it does mean that the potential of someone being in distress does not exist. So do not feel bad or non-deserving for the days that you happen to feel sad, I rather you acknowledge your problems for what they are than to stay quiet with your thoughts and coming up with conclusions that do not pair up with your problem. Just make sure you are not revisiting the same problem, one visit should be plenty.

My mama instincts are showing, but just know that I care for your well-being. You can still be strong and have bad days. Those bad days strengthen you not weaken you.

Do you wish Bad Day Passes existed?

xx Chavelita

Day 20: Talking

For as long as I can remember, I have been a quiet and private person. I can probably hold a secret for so long that I eventually forget unless someone brings up something similar to what I know. Not sure if that is a talent or not but it does show that I hold a lot of information within me and if I am not asked about what I know then that information just begins to be stored deeper and deeper into my memory. I have always been the listener among my friends. If I talk it is usually when I have something to say, which is what I am doing right now. And you know what, talking it is not all so bad especially when you have a great listener and responder to hear you out. Sometimes I am like a tea kettle, you can pour water in me and I would remain quiet but once when you add heat that is when you are going to start hearing me. Not that I have to feel heated or upset over something to get me to start talking but if you bring up interesting topics or ask me questions, controversial the better, I can speak for hours. In high school I had history for my last period of the school day and while mostly everyone were just dying to get out and go home I would typically stay behind to have intriguing conversations with my history teachers. Since my history teachers' classrooms were relatively close they would just visit each other in their classrooms for group discussions. The topics could range to the most nonsensical topics like having a salad for breakfast to how can recycling have an effect on the environment. The topics were little to no where close to the history that was being taught during regular class hours.

Where am I really going with this? Well talking is beneficial for mental health. When you feel stressed or when you have no clue what to do with the thoughts in your head, it's pretty nice to have that go-to person to spill all the details to. That go-to person could be as simple as your sibling, parents, friends, and or your therapist. There may be a couple of people who take advantage of talking and that I have found annoying that they would talk too much during school but like Shrek said, "It is better out than in." Use your words, speak out your mind, structure your words to portray your ideas, however you prefer to share your thoughts, go for it! You may have the most brilliant ideas or thoughts screaming to be recognized but if you do not share them then how will that benefit anyone? For those who are not as much as the talkers like myself and who does not like to share a lot of the personal details with others, I just think it takes the right person to open you up. Do not feel like you need to change in order to find someone to talk with. Continue being yourself and whenever you are given opportunities to share what you are passionate about you should. You will also find that friend that you can trust with your thoughts, they may be a little hidden (or maybe in front of you the whole time) at first but usually the hidden ones tend to be the ones with one of the biggest hearts. Or be like me and start your own blog!

Have you spoken to anyone today?

xx Chavelita

Day 24: Working out at the gym

Before I had started going to the gym with my mom, I didn't think I would fit in at the gym because I of my size and my lack of not knowing how to work the machines. I was still keeping this mentality that I was too young to go to the gym and that the gym was just not one of those places for me. Until one day my mom knocks on my door and invites to go to the gym with her, already dressed to head out the door which is probably what motivated to go. The motivation that my mom had in me as she was pushing me softly to go to the gym, and her being dressed and was totally motivated herself to go, made me want to go. I gave the gym a chance and now I find the days I do not go to the gym to be weird. I know that another reason of mine to go to the gym was so my dad would stop using the guilt trick of being a lazy bum and leaving my mom alone to go to the gym especially now that I have time. I ran out of excuses and so I went completely head first to the gym. Thanks dad for caring about my health. (a bit of sarcasm intended but more of a genuine thanks for pushing me to do more) Now having to go the gym for multiple times this month I have learned a lot about working out around other people...

1. No one cares what you're doing or why you're doing there because for the most part they are focused on their own goals. At the beginning of the month, I felt pretty insecure that I didn't qualify to go to the gym. I kept close to my mom and she was the one who taught me how to work these new spinning bicycles that they had and the elliptical there. I would actually only do spinning because I was in front of mom in my own little comfort zone. Yeah guys, you don't need any qualifications to attend the gym. You also do not need to know how the machines work, unless you're going to use them but there are also plenty of other things you can do to obtain a great workout without them like using dumbbells or walking. Go to the gym if you want to and push yourself to go when you don't want to because after that kicking workout you will be thanking yourself. At least I know I do and always look forward to my Nature Valley bar that I reward myself after every workout. 
2. No one cares what you are wearing. I know for the fact even to save my life that I always have this little-girl-who-looks-lost-looking-for-her-mother look wearing some bright pink pants with either a proper exercising shirt or an oversize t-shirt and my bulky Nike white and pink tennis shoes. So instead of feeling like an embarrassment walking around the gym doing my own thing I might as well rock it and show the other patrons that even the little girl can do the same workouts you are doing. 
3. When working out, it is true that you do find your true zen. I am here running on the elliptical next to my mom for the first twenty or so minutes of my workout. The meter that measures my heart beat picks up pace as I progress into my first mile. 130. 145. 160. 180. The trickle of sweat sliding off the bridge of nose underneath my glasses because I do not like to wear my contacts as I workout, my breath in rhythm with my heart and it's just me running. Running off the calories. The stress. My anxiety. Leaving me literally breathless in the end with my muscles having seizures of their own. Afterward I walk on the indoor track to catch my breath and cool down. After I walk a couple of laps around, I prepare myself for my second part of the workout, which are the actual exercises. 
4. The day after soreness. Will be the enemy of your next workout because you will not want to move just to avoid the pain. At times I do let the soreness get the best of me where I retreat to watch Netflix or YouTube videos in bed. Well use that pain as your pillars to keep wanting to workout, when you feel soreness, you are feeling progress, and with progress then you get results. Not all who workout shoot for losing weight, a grand majority but not all. I have come across a lot of well fit individuals at the gym which I have had a pleasure to see because it does give me hope that someday I can have a body like there's if I strive for it. I want to be strong and not look like I am frail. I feel like many forget and the way society perceives this is that skinny people are not all fit and healthy, we also could have the potential of being out of shape. I want to gain a bit of backbone and get respect is what I am shooting for. 
5. When you take a friend to workout with you, chances are you more likely to compete. Even without a friend though you find yourself competing to do better than the day before. Pushing yourself is great because you do need it to encourage yourself to continue your set workout and or exercises. Only thing I am asking is that you are aware of your limits and that you do not cross them because you do also want to have a safe workout without any injured muscles or bones. Whenever I workout with my friend, I feel like she pushes herself more because she knows that I am watching and I do the same so I feel like it's nice to have that mutual support especially when you are starting to workout. We both try to be better with one another that we end up beating our own set goals. I know having my mom around whenever I go to the gym with her has brought lots of courage and perseverance in me. 
6. Plan out ahead what you want to accomplish and do in the gym. Think of a routine, and stick to it. Even if it's the littlest thing like go on the spinning bicycle for thirty minutes or dance Zumba for an hour. Have that game plan to refer back to so you have something to keep your progress in check. I have this bad habit of not counting how many sets of pushups I do or how many lunges I do, but if you keep count of what you do, the easier the workouts will be. Not only do you have something to do and look forward to, but you know what changes are needed to make when you start to feel like you are not getting the same results like before. 

Which workouts do you enjoy doing?

xx Chavelita

Emotional health

Ever since the tragic death of my Grandmother everything had soon fall apart, yet it forced me to think what it is that I wanted for myself. This is already a mistake, don't wait until something tragic or heartbreaking to occur for you to make a change in your life because it will take a longer time to recover from it. Not everyone is perfect and I know for certain I am no where close to perfect, but sometimes you have to step back from where you are and view the situation you're in from a larger perspective. The issues that has been occurring between family and still have to carry out my school work it was stressful, and you know what I told myself? That people have it worse than me, that my problems are just minimalistic compared to others and that I could handle it myself. Yeah, slap me on my wrist because I did discuss this in a earlier post. Though sometimes the decisions you commit are at first conscious but you get stuck in this habit that it begins to become a regular and that is when you have to stop. When you feel like you are falling apart and you find yourself crying yourself to sleep, that is a major flag that you do need help. When you cannot necessarily explain what it is that you are feeling that is something you should take into consideration and in my opinion that is the most terrifying experience I had encountered. To not know what it is that you want or how to get it and so it seems like you are stuck, perhaps that's a sign of someone developing depression.

I have this bad habit of not allowing people to see me cry, so when I would cry I would cry by myself. Sometimes I felt better, but most of the time it did not solve the issue because I ended up crying over the same thing. Opening up is one of my biggest struggles, but once when you start peeling away the layer of insecurity you start to find yourself happier, stronger, and feeling genuinely better. I have mentioned this before, that taking the first step is the hardest but you have to think about yourself at times like these because I don't want to see any of you fall into or be close to falling into depression. Depression is one of the major mental illnesses here in America, and from having a great friend who has to take antidepressants they kind of take over your life. When she takes them, the next half an hour or so she is already feeling drowsy. Do not let a piece of medicine control your emotions, start to take care of yourself emotionally. Cry when you need to cry, do not worry about what others think. Want to scream in a pillow or in the open? Do it. Have something on your chest? Say it. You feel like you're alone or invisible and that people do not give you a chance to prove yourself? I am most certain you are not the only one, because I do feel like that a lot. But you know what I did? I stop caring what other people did because I found out that I am much happier doing something I like rather than be part of some sleazy gossip. I started to focus on myself the same advice my great friend told me, exclude anything you can that causes you stress and take it one day at a time. Give yourself self-worth, stop neglecting yourself just to be part of something that you may not and create your own path. It's just like what my Mom tells me, "When you came out of my womb, how did you come out? Alone, right? Well you have already proven that you could do things on your own without the help of others."

Yes we need help but also pick your people wisely and carefully. In this week I have learned that you have a choice you can have one thing hang over you weighing you down, or you can confront it and be released from it. I am very grateful for my Dad, at my moments of weakness he knows what to do even though he may not have the right words to tell me just having someone to listen and understand my problems is enough for me. He told me whenever I feel alone that I should call him and tell him. That is how you should be too, no one deserves to feel like they are alone. I have learned to let go over the things that have been weighing me down and to lean on others when I feel like I cannot handle something on my own. And if I have something to say, I should just say it because most of the time letting it out is better than keeping it in.

Do not wait until matters get worse, solve them as soon as they come. Do not let any person, situation, or event control you. Be considerate of yourself just the same way you are considerate with others. We are strong, we can overcome the things we may see as "impossible" at the moment, we can be grateful for the experiences that has happened that created the person we are at the moment.

You are special. 

(Don't forget that, love.)



xx Chavelita