What I learned in high school is...

As some of my readers are in high school already or about to go to high school, one thing that I wished that was given to me was tips or at least pointers that could benefit me in school. Being the youngest out of my two brothers and I did spend a couple of years on my own as I transitioned from elementary school onto middle school and from middle school to high school. What I have come to notice that the majority of the struggles and lessons happened when I spent those transition years alone since I did not have my brother to look after me and to constantly have me in check. And what I have learned is...

1. Take risks, join as many extracurricular activities that you possibly can because those are the moments where you learn more about your social abilities and techniques to work with others. Involve yourself in the school and do not be afraid to challenge yourself to take higher courses. 
2. Apply to colleges and scholarships as soon as you can! I started applying for college around September which allowed me plenty of times to gather all the required documents the institution needed to complete the application process. And with scholarships as well, familiarize the criteria needed because you will most likely have to write a personal essay and you would want time to write it without having a deadline haunting you.
3. If you know the answer to a question, do not be afraid to speak up. Intimidate others with your knowledge!
4. Be open to make friends, now I am not saying that you should hang out with everybody but at least get to know your peers in that way you know more or less what kind of groups you find yourself comfortable to be in
5. There will be crushes and IT IS PERFECTLY FINE! Enjoy them while they last. I will tell you all in that in all my four years of high school I had only fallen for this one guy my sophomore year and I thought we were going to become something but we never did. I feel like crushes make you alert about qualities that you would not have guessed were there about you. 
6. Makeup can you give amazing effects, but just know your skin is as young as it is going to be now so I would only use makeup on special events (besides it blows people away when you spontaneously use makeup! Also saves the hassle of removing makeup before bed and waking up early to apply)
7. People change just as much as ideas could change so allow yourself enough time to recollect yourself to move on from those individuals or ideas. Remember that change is good so long it is to beneficial for yourself
8. Gain the courage to say no without having to explain yourself. You do not have to stay in the circumstances that you are in, if you do not like what is going on and you feel uncomfortable you do have a voice, use it. It is not obligatory to stay in a situation that is only damaging you
9. Please do not hold grudges, I have hold many in the past and they will never leave unless you face them. Be able to speak to people you disagree with especially when you have to work together.
10. Do not be afraid to express your emotions. Cry if you need to. Laugh because you want to. Having total control and confidence in yourself will surely get you places anywhere
11. Talk to your teachers some of the best stories I have heard had all come from a teacher. Their stories have taught me valuable lessons in shaping the person I am today such as whenever I felt like I was doubting myself, simply listening to their own high school stories gives me an insight that it is normal and typical to feel the emotions that are occurring throughout high school
12. You do need sleep to function or else you are going to be walking with your eyes closed wishing you did not stay up so late the night before. If it is for studying reasons usually when I feel sleepy I go to sleep and wake up early before school to finish my homework so that is something to consider
13. Always carry paper and pencils, please do not be the person who is unprepared... It's just something that teachers keep in the back of their minds and I would not think you want your teacher to remember you in that way
14. Driving is a treasuring ability and will make life easier in some cases but yes it is still possible to live without knowing how to drive in high school or having a car
15. Splitting from the crowd will happen and it will be worth it, trust me you will learn so much about yourself when you spend time alone and allows you to reevaluate the goals you want to accomplish and allows you to get closer to the ideal person you want to be

If I continue on, this list of tips will turn into a massive list of instructions which is something I do not want to happen but high school is indeed different. Even graduating in a few days I still feel like there is so much to learn so do not stress yourself out if you do not know the answers to your rumbling thoughts. Usually I like to think that because we do not know the answer to our questions it is because we do not have enough knowledge or have experienced something as powerful as our questions to come up with a solution. Just have fun in high school, try to keep judgments to yourself, and keep your head looking forward. Gotta keep your eye on the prize! Fewer problems, fewer worries. When you graduate it is all going to be on you and what you think it is best for yourself as you face the real world. Remember that.

What are your thoughts on high school?

xx Chavelita

The bullying needs to stop

"Since when was being different a bad thing?"

This idea has been stuck in my head for the past few days and what most saddens me to hear is that there is not much happening to tackle the issue of bullying. Yes there is bullying programs to support those facing troubling times of being misunderstood but where is the reinforcement? There is a difference between stating individuals that bullying should not be practiced and to actually enforce the rules and punishments of bullying related situations. I find some bullying programs to be hypocritical because they do not solve anything. To those who are reinforced I have no problem, continue the reinforcement but for those who sends out messages without a foundation? What about bullying that should be done? How are we going to tackle this issue that not only attacks the person who is being bullied emotionally but also changing their ideas about themselves? Fantastic, the students are watching people's stories of how they overcome bullying and are being shown endless amounts of PowerPoints about the dangers of bullying and ways to prevent or assist the situation, but how many of the audience who are participating in this program are being affected? What ever happened to the guest speakers who would tell their story at the local cafeteria or gym? If it is because of budget cuts, then how is it that we can fund for a bullying program who is doing a minimal effect to support the victims of bullying or even those who are bullying the victims? Obviously there is something that is just not clicking. Bullying is a taught action, no one is born with the ability to bully and if I am wrong about this then I am frighten to know how genetics has changed over the years.

I believe that not only does the victims of bullying need help but those who are bullying too because as mentioned this action has to come from some source of influence whether it is by caretaker, media, or unresolved issues that are affecting the individuals in their mindset. What is the core of bullying? This is the question that I mainly want an answer. What does the person who bully get in return? Temporary satisfaction? Then after that temporary satisfaction, do you bully other people to get that surge of pride? I am pretty sure that there is a sensation of remorse happening within any bullying situation. I cannot empathize but only sympathize bullies because I believe that everyone is bright in their own way but belittling people will not make anyone glow brighter or dimmer. If jealousy is the drive to the bullying, why not be friends with the person instead of having to bully them to feel awful about themselves? Saves people's lives, heartaches and drama. If happiness is the issue, what is causing this unhappiness? Perhaps bullying happens is because there is no support or anyone to hear out what the bullies have to say which builds up the frustration and a way to get the attention of others is to gain an audience through bullying. Instead of telling people that bullying is wrong, how about allowing the individuals to state what is on their minds and a method that works best to solve the issue? A slap on the wrist will be insufficient or any type of discipline that consists of violence could be counterproductive and may even encourage the bully to mirror this behavior.

Parents, please speak to your kids. The earlier you get to your kids, the better it will be for the both of you. Let them know that they are loved regardless if you have told them already, shower them more in that undivided love. Allow your children to speak freely and be comfortable knowing that if they are the bullies or the victims in bullying that there is definitely an opportunity to change. As we are people, mistakes are made and if something was learned from that mistake I believe that the individual should have a chance to fix their error. However, also take the cautionary and appropriate actions to settle the situation. Violence will not be solved with violence. Choose words carefully, be assertive with your actions when dealing with bullying. Parents I also want to let you know that you have every right to feel angry, doubtful, concerned about your child who are victims in bullying. This shows that you care for your child and are taking into consideration of the dangers. Breaks my heart that there are so many cases of bullying and very little action is taken by the school that you parents have to go to the school to fight for the safety of your children. Just know that any attempt to fix the problem, is worth it. Do not stop until you get the conditions that you want it will not be easy, but the impact will be an eyeopener for sure.

Why am I speaking about bullying? Well I am fed up with what I am seeing and hearing. To have children with a mental disorder be bullied or taken advantage of, people posting awful commentaries anonymously towards other individuals, to see someone get bullied to the point where they see no point in living, I want this to stop. I want bullying to stop right now, before anyone else gets hurt or spends a restless night contemplating of why they do not fit in based on the opinions of others. If you are waiting for a sign to make a change, make this your sign. I cannot stress this enough just think what would you want to do to keep the ones you love, safe?

Listed below will be hotlines that will help victims out of bullying and bullies to find a place to be heard (remember these hotlines are open 24/7 so please do not wait there is help out there I am most certain of it!):

Crisis Call Center800-273-8255 

CyberTipline
800-843-5678

National Suicide Hotline800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
800-442-HOPE (4673)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline800-273-TALK (8255)

Please take care of yourselves, just know that I am also here for you!



P.S. If you do not fit in, there is nothing wrong with that, that means you are interesting! This means that there are no boundaries that limit you to who you want to be or who you are!

xx Chavelita 

Woman of the Century

Eyes of chocolate that sparkle in the sun

Lipstick the shade of royal highness fun

My oh my what a delight to see

The woman of the century walking by me

Strands of golden locks framing her face

What was best of all is the smile that fills the space

Every step she takes

A flower grows in place

Dripping in black
But beautiful in the way that night does to attack

Not that she wanted to intimidate

Only few could your attitude be translate

Even in the way she speaks
That leaves dumbstruck to the peak

Each word finds a new meaning

Not even the fairest of them all has a chance in competing

To listen, is to learn as it is to build
The ability to fix the unskilled

Women of the century what is your secret

I am still wondering, will I ever understand

Of how to become the next woman of the century

Wings should be spread, not tucked

"Where will you be going to college?"
"What will you be majoring in?"
"Are you going to miss anyone when you leave for college?"
"How do you feel?"

In a nutshell, college has been the corn of the crop in many of my conversations I have encountered with other people which to me I do not mind since I already have a set plan but it does give me a reality check of what I will be leaving behind and what there is to expect as I spread these wings of mine. I have come to notice that the comfortable life at home will no longer be filled with my mother's cooking after a long day of school or of my father's jokes when he gets home from work or not being able to see my brothers or to split paths with my best friend, this is going to be difficult for me.  I know, I know that this transition will be hard but there is one thing that I am absolutely certain of is that if I do not leave for college now in this following autumn, and actually leave my house, pack up my things and leave this comfortable bubble town I will not have the urge to leave after. I am afraid of leaving do not get me wrong, but as scared as I am, I want to be able to experience this life everyone complains about. To have the chance to inhale this new breath of life first handed without having someone telling me where to go or what to do. To commit my own mistakes and find solutions for them. The sensation to feel human and carry out my own name instead being known as the little sister.

Another thing I want to touch upon is relationships not that I am in any at the moment, but I want to let you know that going to college is your moment and no one else's. As much as I wanted to bluntly tell people you should not go to the same college as your boyfriend/girlfriend unless that is truly the first choice of your college. Do not call me a pessimist but relationships change from high school going into college. Emotions will happen that you had no idea that could be felt, the change in environment could also be a factor, and as philosophical as this is going to sound when you are in college you have a tendency to find yourself. College is probably one of the most important locations that people find out more about themselves than anywhere else because you finally have to do things that are in your benefit not in other peoples benefits. So what worked in high school may not always transfer over into your college life and before anyone begins to freak out, this is totally fine. If something does not fit in your life you are allowed to make the necessary changes to create a balance within your life.

Though on the other hand if you do maintain your long distance relationship with your high school sweetheart the one thing I would not do is suffocate them. Even being far away, entrapment can happen. Instead give them their space, message them frequently and pick a day or two out of the week to actually call or video chat with them. When I say talk to them I actually mean putting everything down, sitting down and giving your undivided attention. If you want to you can call them more to ask how they are doing but actually take a day out of your week to catch up with your partner, no one likes to be out of the loop! To listen to a familiar voice could ease the stress and could even encourage the relationship to continue. Remind each other that despite the miles of distance, the situations that will happen in life because life just loves to make any moment spontaneous when it can, that you are there for them to listen and regardless of what happens that you love them. (In my personal opinion even sending written letters are a lovely reminder. There is just something in seeing someone's handwriting in a letter that gives the effect that they are with you.) Conclusions could be drawn, but if you remind them of how much they mean to you the less they will worry you and the less you will worry. Physical touch is limited in a long distance relationship which may be the leading cause of why these relationships complicate themselves but it truly takes some strong partners who are loyal, honest, patient, and hopeful to make the relationship work. For any reason that you feel like you are doubting this relationship or your partner is drifting then that means there is some sort of lack of communication which should be fixed immediately. If you are upset just know that solving problems miles away will get difficult as each day passes so please take care of any issues, and if you have to swallow your pride, and apologize in the appropriate time frames.

College gives me mixed emotions and hopefully I am not the only one aha but just know that do not force anything if there are things that are supposed to happen they will or they may have already happened. Please do not doubt yourself this should be the time where we plunge into the deep end and experience many of the things we imagine to do when we were in high school or even when we were little kids. Stay hopeful, keep those minds open, and remember that there will always be someone out there to help you wherever you go! (Who may also be your next best friend!)

What is something that you look forward to in college?

xx Chaveltia

Over the years...

Alright so you know that I am small right? Well over the years a creative assortment of comments have accumulated. Step into my world for a moment. Though I would say walk in my shoes, but they would probably be too small for you anyway. Feel free to laugh at any of these comments they get pretty ridiculous the older I get.

1. Cafeteria lady A: "Aww mija how old are you?" "Oh you look like you are thirteen." *as I hold my school ID*
2. Cafeteria lady B & School Officer: "You go to this school? I have not seen you around school before..." *looks at me from head to toe* (oh and lady we have seen each other before, but it's okay short memory is unavoidable for arrogant people)
3. Teacher: "You are so small, I just want to put you in my pocket!" (I rather we don't share the same pants...)
4. Mom's friend: My mom tells my age to her friend. "Oh I thought she was in elementary school!" (Just because I have small boobs? Miss boobs do not measure maturity..)
5. Same School officer mentioned before: "Hey, hey HEY LITTLE GIRL! *keeps walking knowing that he's talking to me* Hey are you lost, you go to this school? What classes are you taking?" (You would think adults would be any better...)
6. Stranger: "Oh wow, you get your periods too?" (Womanhood hits every woman like a bus it's pretty inevitable, I do not get a special free get out of jail card from puberty just because I'm small) 
7. Junior: "No offense, but like do you need like a special bathroom. Like seeing that you are short, can you reach the counter of the bathroom?" (My goodness even the dwarfs from Snow White would be offended aha, by far the funniest comment I have heard so far!) 
8. Stranger: "Will you even be able to reach the steering wheel or the pedals?" (Sadly stranger that is one of my fears...)
9. Everyone who tries to make me feel better about my height: "At least when you get older, you won't look as old!" (Please just stop there...)
10. Stranger: "Oh sorry I did not see you there" *as they skip me in line*

These are just some of the comments that has stuck with me over the years. There was just one morning where I told myself I am tired of all this nonsense coming from ignorant people putting people with physical or emotional qualities that are not even in their control on a pedistool to be watched by the public. Why can't people just keep their comments to themselves? I bet I can find all the flaws from the following people but that's not what is going to take to change the mindset from these people. Some error has occurred in these following people and I guess I feel sorry for them that my size is intimidating or weird to have to be the discussion at the dinner table. So look, unless you do not have any flaws within yourself think twice before commenting on others. Maybe just maybe you'll notice that you have a heart. Alright I am done being sarcastic but yes my lovely readers you are above any ignorant person you come across and do not ask yourself what is wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. People just don't understand, or have a filtered mind or even a mind to connect their thoughts together. Do not sweat it, you're perfectly fine the way you are. 

What goes through your mind when someone comments on you? 

xx Chavelita 

If you can visit, YOU SHOULD!

Before I start I just want to hands down thank my mom for driving five to six hours to take me to Texas Tech University. Texas Tech University is my first choice after all and before I wanted to settle down it was a must to know what I was getting myself into. By invitation, Texas Tech invited me to Connect Tech, a new program they have started a couple of years back for the admitted students to get the gist of how the campus life is. I did not regret going in fact I actually reserved my room and have my own meal plan! I feel excited, scared, and curious all at the same time because steps like these means that it will soon become a reality. I am getting goosebumps just thinking of my future college life. Alright enough of that I want to show you a few of the many pictures I took while I visited Texas Tech during the weekend.

The Student Union Building, which personally I felt like I was at a mini mall there was so many stores, restaurants, and hang out places. I doubt there will be a moment where I run out of things to do in there!

The side view of the Student Union Building, I thought it was nice how the hang out place had a wall of windows for natural light to come out and to be able to still be connected with the outside.

If you do not know me by now, I am a book enthusiast. I am open to read any book that is recommended to me so this statue I came across when I was on the way to the library can we say that he is like the spirit animal of bookworms? I think we can!

This is the library where I can already feel like most of my time will be invested in here. The structure of this building appears to be a cross between looking like a beehive and like a musical theater.

Outside of the campus, I keep comparing this campus like a small town within the city. For me I was mesmerized with the view. Yes the trees do not have leaves at the moment but just picture it with leaves and the grass being a little bit greener. Any piece of nature is good enough for me.

*GASP* It's the tall building that appeared on the front cover of my folder that my acceptance letter came in!! How lovely to have come across you!

I really adore the architectural work behind these building, I was dragging my jaw on the floor while I was on the campus tour. 

*sigh* I cannot wait to come back. 

An Autistic research center? Texas Tech just keeps surprising me... 

The Psychology building in which I will probably be spending most of my time in the future as I retrieve my Bachelor's in Science in Psychology.

Do not be upset that I did not show you more pictures but I will be going back to campus for orientation in June and in August to move into my dorm so this is just the sneak peek to what to expect! By the title of this blogpost, I highly recommend that if you are interested in a university or college, that you should go visit. Nothing is more securing than feeling for yourself of the atmosphere of the campus such as the type of people there, the community among students and faculty, looking at the potential dorms that you may be living in during the semester, their education structure and of course the food.

As a new fellow Red Raider, Wreck 'Em!

xx Chavelita

The elephant in the room

Stormy nights rushed in like an unwanted guest

Swallowing whomever comes into sight

A flash of light from the post, but not even that could be blessed

To see that what was once there, is no where from right

The warm gentle squeeze of life

Mustered with a mixture of uncertainty and might

Maybe today is the day this quarrel is sliced with a knife

Fairy lights and scents of power produced with a smite

How come right now, a pled

Is when this source of majestic competency fills the room?

When yesterday even the clouds did not want to lift themselves out of bed?

Are the answers even ready to bloom?

My my my the days were spent caressing the moments when everything has gone blank

Silent nights, dark shadows, they were bound to tell the truth

Forever that this place is just a plank

To ones plunge into their hidden ruth

Everyone thinks we have it all together

But honey we all know that's a lie

Even the elephant is afraid of the ants altogether

Structure doesn't matter, we will all come to an end as we lie

We don't know when, or how or even where

So this is the reason we need to learn how to deal with the storm

Learn how to dance in the rain and from there

Stay away from those anchors that drowns the lives in one set uniform

Writing poems or stories around midnight seems to be the peak where my imagination is not disturbed by any limits or people it is just the paper or in this case my phone and my hands. The inspiration when writing this is that letting go of something important or was once important is the struggle that most of us has gone through but once when you let go you soon feel liberated. You feel like the powerful giant looking down at your problems and although this feeling may last for a little bit we should enjoy and celebrate the accomplishments. Life is short and we should stop worrying and start living it. Who cares if we don't know the answers, some of the best things are inexplicable anyways! 

xx Chavelita