Day 14: How my love for volunteering started

When I was a junior in high school, I had started to this prestigious educational program called International Baccalaureate. I have spoken about this program previously so to some of you it should be familiar but basically this program has taught me to be a well-rounded person. In high school I was shy to join organizations and even less to be an officer to any organizations. But as a requirement to stay in the program I had to do a community service project for a year and half. So basically for a year and a half straight I had to do community service on top of the jam packed assignments and homework that had to be done. I was concerned that I was not going to be able to complete the community service aspect of the program and thus lead me to be expelled from the program. Funny how I look back it now, the one thing that worried the most was the thing that I enjoyed the most from the program. Both of my English teachers always had an eye on us and would give us resources and tools to succeed. One in particular was that they invited Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) to come speak and recruit members to help out their non-profit organization promote awareness of the dangers of drunk driving and taking drugs then driving. Always curious to learn more I decided to give MADD a chance to be my community service project. Throughout that whole year and a half of serving the community, I have gone to multiple locations to give presentations, listen to presentations, go to workshops to learn more about the current issues and dangers that are happening in the community with drugs and alcohol, participated in the annual walk that MADD hosts in September, went to an Easter festival to spread the word for MADD, and go to fundraising events.

There was this one presentation in particular that I went to and my supervisor had to give her talk in Spanish. Which she was not bad at speaking Spanish but you can tell it was not her first language. Parts of the conversations I had to translate but that was not the point. The stories that you hear from the community is what gets to you. This lady had lost her loved one to a drunk driver and she was left to take care of the kids. A lot of people when you tell them not drink and drive they will just give that typical nod and yeah yeah, I know. Sometimes I just want to tell them no you do not know. You do not know until you actually sit down and listen to the actual causes and the victims that have been caught in the mess of drunk driving. Until you hear the stories coming from other people then I feel like a lot of people's attitudes are not going to change until they experience the emotions caused by one. Which is something MADD is trying to prevent from happening and which is why MADD holds a place for their victims to be able to cope with their loss and for some to come share their stories. I also remember there was this speaker who came to speak at one of our meetings and he had damaged a part of his brain from the impact of the crash he had while not wearing a seat belt. So how many stories do you need to hear to be aware of the dangers of drunk driving? Just because you do not hear about them as often, does not mean they do not happen.

I ended up becoming one of the presidents to the lead the MADD group at my school and I grew close to my supervisor who has been an absolute joy to work with. My experience with MADD has been so phenomenal to be part of that when I finished my year and half I just knew I could not just leave. I had liked the person I have become and I was not ready to just dismiss her. After high school I continued to serve my community through MADD and to this day I still find it important that drinking while intoxicated should be educated.

When I got to college I had already known that I had to do community service. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. To go to school and do community service on my free time was how I grew accustomed in high school and the habit kind of just stuck with me. I joined Mentor Tech by filling out an application online, was assigned my mentor who became such a great friend and supporter of mine that I even asked if she can continue being my mentor in which she said "of course", and I met my Protege Advisory Committee (PAC) leader who has been so kind and helpful with me this first year of college. Later that year I joined Mentor Tech Student Organization (MTSO) and found my community service family. This program was exactly what was missing from my college experience. I met many people who felt just as passionate as I did to give their time to help their community become a better place for the future. And I did not just stop there but I ran for Historian my first semester of college, did not get it but I did run which is nothing I have done before. So I pat myself on the back for that moment. After a few months has passed and I put together an event to bring high school students onto campus, that motivated me to run for officer again this time for secretary. So as of now I am the current secretary of MTSO. My PAC leader also had recommended me to apply to become a PAC leader myself because she saw qualities that just would fit nicely so I applied and I got my interview. Towards the end of the year at the Mentor Tech banquet they announced the names of the future PAC leader of 2016 - 2017 and I had made the cut.

Whenever I think about how far I have gotten I like to thank MADD for preparing me to open my heart and reach out to others. It's a bit terrifying at first to go into the unknown and not know what the next step would be but there just times that we should take chances in ourselves and see where that leads us. Now I cannot see myself not doing community service, it became a part of me and I hope that when I am older I continue to serve the community. Maybe not the same way as doing non-profit but through my profession as a psychologist.

When was the last time you have done community service?

xx Chavelita

Day 13: The Promise Ring

In the Hispanic/Latino culture, whenever a girl turns fifteen it is known to be a big deal. The quinceanero marks the transition of a girl becoming a woman. Yeah I know fifteen is quite young for a big step but it makes sense because naturally girls are becoming women so it is like sealing the deal and your loved ones are there on your fifteenth birthday to celebrate your big transition. Well in cases like mine where I did turn fifteen I was not given a big celebration until October where I went to Puerto Rico during my fall break to have my quinceanera, I was instead given the biggest most treasuring gift in my life. It was not a car or anything materialistic that could be cashed in, but it was my parents promise ring. As of today I have yet to take off my parents promise ring from my finger. I was told by them that when they have a daughter when she turned fifteen the ring will be hers. I asked, what if they did not have a daughter or what if they had two daughters? And they simply told me that they just knew they were going to have one. My parents in my opinion were very old school. Living in Puerto Rico, my dad would ride his bicycle over to my mom's house so often that my mom's parents at first did not like having his presence. My mom's house was up on a hill so my dad would have to walk his bicycle or pedal hard to make it up but that did not stop him from coming over. Yeah my grandparents did not approve of him which I have always thought to be pretty hilarious because my dad is the type of man to spread his love around even to those who did not want it. "Ya viene ese otra vez" (There he comes again...) is something I imagine my abuela saying. My dad's persistence was probably how my grandparents finally allowed him in the family or at least make him feel welcomed to be in it. Well one day my dad gave my mom the promise ring and with that being said that he promised that they will get married one day.

It has been difficult these past few days but I always like to remember this story because it reminds me that not everything is lost. This story is being told the way I remember it being told to me by my parents so there may be a few flaws but I am really fond of the idea of going through the process of promising someone to marry them with the promise ring, the engagement ring leading into marriage, and lastly the wedding ring that seals the whole sacrament. I know I am being vague but I promise that someday I will explain myself. For now I am just going to hold onto this precious ring and remember that love is powerful, love can fix the wounded, love is contagious, and that love comes natural. I hope that one day I get to go through the whole process with someone.

What has been the biggest promise you have made?

xx Chavelita

Day 12: A tea for my friends

Sunday morning. The sun peaks a little hello through the curtains and the smell of coffee brings the room to a gentle wake. Clock blinks eight thirty two and with one last stretch she gets out of bed. Blotches of mascara residue is left under her eyes making potent of her dark circles but her light hazel eyes tells another story. Loose locks of leftover curls framed her face and with that being said she wanders around her two roomed apartment. Colors of white, green, and gray flourished the apartment from head to toe with a little stain of red found on the washed out wooden floors. Only to remember that the friends she had were just something from her past. Painted white, she takes a seat and ponders. Tea. A cup of pipping hot tea is what she needed. Making tea was a specialty used in circumstances that were inexplicable even to the human mind. Such warm liquid to cure the cold of a broken heart. Accidentally making tea for two, she pours the remainder of the tea into a mug and stores the mug in the back of the cupboard. What cannot be seen should not be spoken about and what cannot be spoken about should not be seen. She keeps her friends to herself and she did not need someone or something to define her qualities. A sip of tea is the only satisfaction she needed and she had all the power within her small fingertips, at least right at that moment she does. Mint, honey, and a splash of happy juice, any tea could be her friend, anyone's friend really. How much more wonderful could life possibly get? To the last drop. Life should be appreciated to the last drop.

Felt like doing a freewrite today. May do more in the future because they're pretty fun to write!

xx Chavelita 

Day 11: Beautifully Misunderstood

Love was in the air

But it felt stiff in my bones

My body torn limb to limb

Such knowledge only to be used against me

Praying in a solution to fix this mess

Eyes lost their focus

And still holding onto this

Tiny spec of hope

Though it was not enough

At least it did not feel like it was

To keep this flame alive

It takes more of my energy that my desire

Must continue

I repeat myself

The uncontrollable giggles

Holding onto empty messages

Constantly checking on everyone else

Too many trips down memory lane

This has to stop

Must place myself first

I have to polish up

Reset my mind

Put away all this discontent and insecurities

Soon those who want to join will join

Then the world will no longer be a lonely, sad place after all

-April 12th, 2014

xx Chavelita

Day 10: Online Dating

Not that many people know about this but when I was younger I used to go online chat rooms and meet people. Now it was not like Tindr or Skype where you get to see the person you were talking to but it was on this social media where you were able to be any character that you wanted and you would meet people there. One of my friends at the time had suggested to make myself an account so we can play together and also meet new people who shared similar interests as me. I was at that stage where I was experimenting. Not that I am proud of but I would talk to this one guy without ever acknowledging to someone until there was one day that my parents were looking through my i-Pod and found a picture of him. Half jokingly and half serious they were, I was totally embarrassed not only that they had made fun of me for having a potential boyfriend but because I knew they were not going to understand. They were not going to understand that maybe we were dating or maybe we weren't but I had enjoyed talking to him for the fact that he treated me with such respect without even having to see my face. At that moment of my life I had really low self-esteem because of my small figure and having such a young looking face, growing up not that many people took me seriously. I was not given a proper chance that I have longed to receive so I resorted to the internet. At least on the internet I was perceived as someone with confidence and I suppose I was also a catch. There was even a time where I spent so much time on the computer that I got it confiscated from me until the habit was forced out of me.

In a more recent moment, about a year ago, I had received an anonymous message from this person from this social media site that allows you to ask or say anything anonymously. Well I slightly remember him asking about some of my hobbies and what were my opinion on certain topics. I had thought this guy was pretty interesting so I wanted to know who he was. Over the months we were hitting it off really well, we started to use instant messaging and almost every other day we would message each other about our days and whatnot. The few descriptive information that I had gotten from him was that he lived in England, was a teacher assistant to grade school children, a single child with a single mother, and that he was six months younger than I am. Instead of hiding this I had told my mom directly that I was talking to someone I had met from the internet and I already knew she was going to put the red flag up and advise me to never speak to him again. But here I am thinking like I was acting like the bigger person I continued to speak with him. Not that I wanted to seek a relationship with him because that was not my intention at first especially with the distance I was not going to put myself through that. Well then comes in this long message during the night where he professed my feelings to me (I have no idea why guys continue to profess his feelings to me in long messages while I am sleeping...) and I was left awkwardly looking at the screen of my phone. I had told my mom again what he had told me and the simple advice she had given me was to ask if we could video chat so I can confirm that the picture on his profile was him. Like all of you have guessed it, it wasn't. And to be fair I did not like him for the fake picture he had, is not the attractive physical features that lure me in it's the words and the actions. So after that incident of him lying to me, I deleted the app and I have promised myself that I will no longer be making friends over the internet. If I have to continuously go through bad experiences to learn that most online dating/relationships are not for me then now that is a shame on me for not learning from my mistakes.

What I wanted for you all to get from my experience is that you may think you know the person you are speaking to online, backwards and forwards, but I do not think you will ever know a person until the day you actually meet them in person. There is so much you miss when you are busy online fishing. You miss the first impression, that awkward 'should I go for the hug or that handshake', the actual connection or disconnection with the person, basically the little things that make up a true date. I would have to agree with my mom that a relationship made online is not real. You start falling in love with the idea of that person rather than the actual person. Realizing this now I know why it was hard for me to let these guys go because I was afraid that I was not going to find someone or someone who made me feel like the best slice of cake there is. But you are just going to have to trust in yourself that you will and that it will work out. This also explains why when my friends are playing around on Tindr, I decide not to participate. I know I may be one of the pickiest people you have met when it comes to making friendships with others but that is because I have been there. Not just online but in real life too. When you think you have met the perfect person and you are proven wrong in the most unpredictable ways. I have not been great in the dating department but at least I can say that I know what I want and I am not settling down for just anyone because I know I deserve better. If you are going or went through a similar situation, remind yourself that you deserve better too because you do. And always remember to be careful when you are online never share your personal whereabouts or information even if you feel that you can trust them completely...

How has your experience in dating been lately?

xx Chavelita

Day 9: Friendships over the years

When the word friendships come into mind it is as if I get a flashback to all the friendships that went wrong and all those who are still with me today. Friendships are somewhat weird to explain because none of my friendships are the same thus I cannot really categorize them. When I was younger and I still do this now, I would not tell my parents about the friends I have made unless I knew for sure that they were going to stick with me for a while. I took my friendships really close to heart and I would take the longest time to make sure that my friendships were worth my time. I know this seems a judgmental but it was just how I would make friends. But let me tell you now that when I make a friend they are usually there to stay and it's really amazing to have friendships that you can look back on. In order for someone to understand the world more clearly, I think we all need to have at least one of these friends to show you a different perspective in which you interpret the world.

• A friend from the opposite sex - 
• A friend from a different sexuality - 
• A friend who's first language is not your own - 
• A friend who is not the same age as you - 
• A friend who is from a different race - 
• A friend you have known for over five years - 
• A friend who is special - 

Here are just a few but the more diverse the better. If you have at least one of these friends I can guarantee that your perspective will become more third dimensional. Sometimes we get stuck seeing the world through our lens and from the situations we have had overcome over the years. But once when you start walking in the shoes of your friends you start to understand that not everything is as one sided as we think. Their stories do not become your own, but you can learn from their stories. So I find it to be important to give everyone a chance even the people you would not think of being friends with are the ones who bring in the most perspective in your life. Just give them a chance, if you like to speak and be around with them then continue being their friend. If you find that you feel upset or annoyed to be with that person you always have the right to walk away or stop speaking to them just make sure you let them know why you do not want to be friends with them. I think they deserve the explanation at least.

I have met my very first best friend when I was around nine or ten. We were in fourth grade and she was the new girl who came from Detroit, Michigan and you know how everyone gets excited to see new students come in the middle of the school year. I felt like everyone wanted to be her friend but I was not the one to casually come up and introduce myself. I waited for my cue, if it ever came, to make myself known to her so I was left waiting. Then there was this one day where she invited some of the girls from our class to come over and I was invited. We were barely talking at that time. I remember she would mix up my name with this other short girl from class but fair enough I mispronounced her name for about a year or so, so I guess I cannot complain. Asking my mom to go over to a friend's house for the first time, I can already tell she was concerned. She is the type of mom who likes to meet the parents of the friend to make sure. Throughout my fourth and fifth grade year on Friday afternoons after school I would go over to her house. It first started with a group of girls coming over her house and then it ended up just me coming over which I did not mind. We would call our moms on the landline at school and cross our fingers that we were able to spend time together. And so we fast forward 11 years and I can still say she is my best friend. We went through the awkward teens together even though I had left for a while to go to Hawaii for my dad's work I came back. I feel we have defeated the odds honestly and I want to say this is the friendship I treasure the most because my best friend saw me when I was I just the little girl who wanted someone to laugh with to the woman I had grown and wanted to be. And I could say the same to for her. I am curious to see where the next decade will take us! 

Who do you consider your best friend?

xx Chavelita

Day 8: Growing up with brothers

As told by my parents, I was the last chance in them having a daughter. Before me, my two brothers were born. My oldest brother, Juan Carlos and my the runner up my brother Luis. I can relate to both of my brothers on different levels. With Juan Carlos I can relate to him with my passion to learn, getting a closer relationship with my religion, our quiet but understanding behavior, and always pushing to do the right thing. On the other hand, with Luis I can relate to the way that when he settles on something he has a hard time dropping it. This could be speaking over a certain topic or the future purchases he wants to make for himself, this guy should be on a debate team because he will continue to state his opinion until he is the only one left speaking. Sometimes he can be difficult but he also is really loving and will show you when you have gained enough of his trust. There has not been a day this summer that I have not been given a hug from him. Luis is taller than Juan Carlos, so when he hugs my head is at his chest and I can feel one of these days he is going to break my glasses because of hard he squeezes me! To grow up with brothers has had their good and bad days. Good because they tried to get me involve in most of their activities. There was one time in particular we had new neighbors move in and Juan Carlos was like, we should go say hi! But me being timid I knew I could not do it on my own so he helped me make friends with the girls who have moved in. Then the bad because my brothers would bump heads often. Their personalities are very similar and I want to say that is why they would fight. Verbally fight, but even then I would not want to be in the same room where the steam was being let out. For a certain time I had thought I was a tomboy because up until I was about the age of 7 all I did was play with my brothers. The Beyblades, the Yu-Gi-Oh cards, Pokemon, video games, watching Dragon Ball, Yu-Gi-Oh, Pokemon, Digimon... The list can continue my friends. I did have my fair share of Barbies that are still sitting somewhere in my room because my mom did not have the heart to let my Barbies go to charity, so perhaps when I have my own daughter we will play Barbies, but sometimes I had to convince my brother to play Barbies with me. I thought it was only just since I would play with his toys.

Whenever my mom was away and I was left with the boys of the house, those were the days where I also felt like one of the boys. Not that I was forced to not be the girl that I was, but it just felt nice to not think that my gender had an influence of how my brothers would treat me. I was still bullied with their love which is something that has not changed when I am found in a room with my brothers together. It was nice to be the youngest and the only sister, I did not have to grow up as fast as my brothers did and I did not have to share as much when it came to materialistic things. Whenever my brothers and I were left alone in the house, I would always let my brothers open the door if we had a visitor. I did not have to start taking the trash out until my senior year of high school because my brother would do it. Since Luis was a grade level below me when I went to grade school, he would always have an eye out for me. He did not let anyone hurt me and if he saw that someone was bothering me he would sort it out. He was like my big shadow always ready to come out when needed. I know now that growing up and not living in the same location all the time, over the phone I still tell him things that are bothering me and he still responds with "who do I need the beat up this time?". Although he is joking (at least I hope he is only joking now), he still knows how to make me feel safe. While Juan Carlos always kept me on my toes. He would recommend me books to read and help explain the homework I did not understand. Talking to him, I felt I would leave a little bit smarter at the end of our conversations. I never had the opportunity to go to grade school with Juan Carlos because we were four grade levels apart. Lets put it this way, when my brother graduated from high school, I had just graduated from middle school. When I graduated from high school, my brother had graduated from college. Which is why I believe that my relationship with my brothers are not the same but I still appreciate all the moments we shared.

Our childhood was pretty amazing. We have our insiders, we traveled to different parts of the world together and learned different cultures, we have our fights but later we forget that we were upset at each other, and that is something that I feel to lucky to be part of. Even though I struggled to make friends because I was so timid and most of the kids my age were boys, I learned to grow a tough layer from the beginning. I know that nothing is going to change how sensitive of a person I am but I learned to appreciate what I did have which were my brothers. I will never know what it feels to grow up with a sister but at the same time I am glad I did not grow up with sisters. To have sisters I would have to probably to share all my belongings and I am not sure how I would feel about that. To be the only girl, I get to have my mom all to myself to do all the feminine things and I would always be Daddy's girl. So maybe I am not missing out as much as I thought I did when I was younger.

How many siblings do you have?

From left to right: Liz, my sister-in-law, Juan Carlos, me and Luis

xx Chavelita