Thursday, July 23, 2015

Day 23: Weird thoughts...

For the most part if you have had the chance to get to know me personally, you may all have realized that I do not talk much. Sometimes people have to ask me my opinion on a certain matter or ask me questions to get me to share my thoughts which does not annoy me at all. Then for the most part I have no idea how to put my thoughts into words that I either forget to talk about it or I purposefully don't say them. Here I'll try to give you some insider as to what my thoughts consist of. Hopefully you all don't think I have lost my marbles or anything, I just find these thoughts to make absolute sense to me.

I have this logic that I have always been in this deep slumber apart from where I am now. While I am sleeping, that is when I am living this life right now. I am in the woods, in this red cabin, lying on a stiff bed while people are waiting for me to wake up to hear what I have experienced in my sleep. So I guess you can say that I do not believe in death? Just story teller after story teller.  (No I do not believe in reincarnation) 

I've been mesmerized a lot when I was younger that I had my own control. How I can move my hands, my fingers, my legs, toes, think without having no one tell me what I should think about, and just be sincerely happy that I was able to live this life. 

I swear like a sailor in my head and I am not sorry. 

When doomsday was supposed to have a couple of years ago I actually calculated how old I would be and wonder if I would have lived a fulfilled life by then. I also thought that Jesus was actually going to come down from the heavens during this horrible storm I had imagined while I was on the school bus, grab me by the arm, and run to safety with me. 

I was never curious where babies come from when I was younger, I had a lot more things to think about apparently. Eventually I was told casually where they came from and I do not remember being mentally scarred because I found the information to make sense. 

I have always been a shy, quiet girl that growing up I just began to talk to myself. Connecting with myself on a whole different level. Not out loud, of course not! (Only when I scold myself...) For the most part I have been the perfect friend for myself who understands me for who I am without having to explain myself why I behave and react the way I do now. 

Sitting down at the commissary (the supermarket on base) I was probably around the age of eight or nine and I thought, man God has made into this human where I get to accomplish whatever it is that I set my mind to... Then I thought of how I had this power, going back again with being given this life to help people because if they are struggling, then I should at least give it a shot just like Jesus did. (Promise me, I am not trying to convert anybody. You be you, and I will appreciate for the person you sincerely are.)

What weird thoughts do you have?

xx Chavelita

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