Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Day 21: Advice to my future children

Although I am only eighteen and have many many more years to learn about myself and the world around me, I feel like I have some leverage from all the learning I had done through the challenges that were tossed in my direction. Not all opportunities or situations come as easy as a slow pitch to hit out of the park even though some of us do wish that we had our questions answered in an instant. And those who do opportunities and situations that are easy to handle, we feel like those aren't worth much of a value but here I am to tell you is that every lesson that was learned through our experiences are worth value. When we sit there, sometimes in the midst of the night alone or we stand there idle in our morning showers, our minds are working up a storm to figure out a solution to a problem that is either there or not. Bubbles and lines crossing, with an infinite number of solutions, when we want one answer we come up with multiple possibilities that just drives us up the wall. I know we have a solution but then we start to wonder if its appropriate enough to fit the current situation and we begin to overthink which does not lead us anywhere. I think people should just trust in what they got and see where that may lead them. Which starts to my first lesson for my future child...

Do not follow the crowd. At first people may think that because they are following the crowd that they are doing something right, which may not always be the case. I have given the crowd a chance and all the times that I did, I was farther and farther away from the person I wanted to be known as. I nearly forgot myself while transforming into someone I wasn't. I would think that there was something wrong with me because I found such difficulty to connect with other individuals among my age group. Yet I continued walking by myself, allowing enough contact to keep myself in check but for the majority of the time I spent my time figuring things out without any outside influences. So kids, when you feel like you do not fit in with rest of the group and you find yourself spending alone time apart from everyone else or observing your surroundings, remember that usually the amazing people among the crowd do not call attention towards to themselves by showing off but because you have a natural glow, those who have their eyes open will definitely see you and change your life. Follow your own path for now, find out more about yourself and with time people will cross paths with you. Just a heads up though, some will walk alongside of you and others will simply cross without acknowledging you.

Be careful who you trust. I have found myself in many predicaments especially when I tell friends personal information that end up not being my friend for long. Then I think, well great there goes all my deep information along with the many insecurities and thoughts that I should of just kept to myself in the first place. Even though at times I forget what personal information I have shared with some people, having that information wondering around on someone else's lips makes me want to curl into a makeshift shell. I don't want to say that I was careless but more so that I outweigh a lot of people's good qualities over their bad qualities, so lets hypothetically say that everyone knows that one person who is known to be worst person to man and I would still find something good about them. I would still give them a chance despite all the commentary I have been told in private. I just want my kids to be able to open their minds to see the rounded values that make up any person that they decide to meet, not be timid, afraid or embarrassed to be themselves and share their stories. To be able to interact with their peers and know the difference between an average friend and the values that make up a better friend. So that they can limit the chances of disappointment they are going to encounter in life. Just know that mommy will always have ears to listen, arms to give out those needed hugs, eyes to give my undivided attention, a voice to comfort when my kids feel overwhelmed, and a sense of humor to make you laugh even if they may end up laughing at me for something silly. I will be here every step of the way.

Sweet words are easier to swallow, if needed to. There was always this saying that my dad would tell me, "diga dulce palabras por se caso si los tienes que tragarlas", which in English it means to "say sweet words in case you have to swallow them". We have all come to a close point in our lives or even crossed that point in ours lives when we're absolutely furious with someone and say rather harsh things in spite of the moment. Yeah for those few minutes we spill emotions out like if someone were to open the faucet at full blast. Until we calm down and realize that the situation could of been handled in a different manner. Regret begins to develop and we feel this embarrassment rising in our faces and soon the tiny sweat droplets form that is why it's better to say sweet words. I agree that people should know what position they are in whether it is in a relationship, friendship, or among family and have the chance to speak about what is on their minds but at times we may forget that words are a powerful tool and should be used carefully. This advice also goes when speaking to or about other people. Spreading rumors and then having the victim find out where the source of that gossip is coming from already does not paint a pretty picture. In a situation like the words become difficult to swallow or take back so that is why is just best to not spread false information about others. When spreading compliments, the sweet words, the person could either thank you or not acknowledge your words the same if you are complimenting yourself you could either accept the sweet words or trash them. At least swallowing sweet words are a bit easier than swallowing the bitter ones. I want my kids to be able to choose their words wisely and watch what they say to others, because even words could have the effect to change a person.

What advice would you tell your children or what advice do you already tell your children?

xx Chavelita

P.S. I am not pregnant. The kids mentioned are hypothetical.

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