Spatial time is pretty interesting standard unit of measurement that continues endlessly like this vortex. The seconds are leaving us one by one and by the time we realize that the seconds turn into years. I remember my first day of fourth grade wearing my favorite white polo shirt with the collar having ruffles on the edges and my navy blue skirt which I approved only for the fact that they had shorts underneath or else I would of thought twice before wearing something that made me feel like I was walking without pants. I was downstairs having my breakfast as usual and when I went upstairs I complained to my mom, "Why did I have to go to school? Why do you get to stay at home?" and of course my mindset was not yet developed so almost anything I say was unfiltered. Then my mom tells me that when you graduate like me, you will no longer have to go to school. I was so desperate for that day to come quicker and now fast forwarding into what is now 2015, the year in which I will graduate, this sensation seems unreal. The years turned into memories that have this great way of popping up spontaneously. Nothing I have imagined this year is happening to me right now. I think I can say is that change is unavoidable but can be managed.
Friendships will flourish and some will soon wither away, and I am here to say that both are okay. These experiences that are created with others allows you to see how much of person you have become whether you gain the confidence you were missing or grew depressed that life is not how you imagined it to be through the influence of your peers. We are only human and changes like these will be faced and your choice is valid to stay or leave for something else. Look at what you are taught as a database, in a database you do not use all the information that is in there (and also because that would be torture to your brain) but the information is there in case you do need to refer back. Just know that there will be people who will constantly come unexpected in your life and you will learn something out of them. Many of us are used to being close-minded when we sense that a friendship is leading into a similar path that only lead us into being hurt but because of that one experience ended terribly with a friend we cannot assume the rest will be the same... Who knows how the next person will effect you.
A step out of your comfort zone is something that was extremely difficult for me and perhaps to many of you too. Where you feel like you are in a blanket when you are among those you are comfortable with or in locations you have grown used to. I believe stepping out of the comfort zone is healthy though terrifying yes as if someone were to yank off your blankets on a early school morning but healthy. From the start of my final semester of high school, my lunch schedule remained the same while everyone else switched because of the new semester. In other words I did not have anyone to spend lunch with. The first few days I would walk to the lunch room early to reserve my usual place by placing my belongings and went to the lunch line before the river of people started to fill in the room. Soon as I got my lunch I would eat alone. I do not want pity but goodness was that experience awkward because a lot of people would pass by and just look at me eating... I am not a new species wanting to be discovered. I knew I had to find someone to have lunch with before I begin to count the all the adjectives I use to describe the tasteless music that blasted on the school's speakers. Since I volunteer my time at the office so many times in the last months, that is where I found my blanket of comfort. I knew most of the staff, all the counselors, and the counselor clerk (which I should start calling her my godmother because she is ha) and I would sit there until fifth period started to watch the office as everyone else leaves for lunch. Until I was formally introduced to a girl who has also been spending her lunches alone in the office and I was encouraged to have lunch with her. Now I have someone to spend lunch with and have small talk. To take chances is the moral of this story. You will pat yourself in the back later.
Lately I have been challenging myself to do things I would normally say no to. Such as being the first one to start the conversation with a stranger, to speak up not only for myself but for the ones I care about, to wear makeup more often, and to actually talk to my classmates. Baby steps, but I feel they are necessary steps that will build my character and to be more well rounded. Academics will always be my primary goal but I do not think it will hurt to practice my social skills and have somewhat of a social life to learn more about others through their stories. Adapting to this person I have become is such an evolution for me, for once I feel detached enough from people allowing me to breathe and take my own route but close to those I trust that I can go to if needed. If this is not independence, I am not sure how else that term will be defined.
Do you believe you have the power to transform into the person you want to be?