Thursday, June 23, 2016

Day 23: What I have learned from having a bisexual best friend

Have you ever had those friendships where you think it is just a simple meet and greet but turns out to be much more than that? Well that is how my friendship started with one of my best friends. I was around the age of 15, maybe I was younger, and I went over to my uncle's house where the family business used to be and I greeted my cousin with a side kiss on the cheek. And just like I have been raised to do with family I also greeted my cousin's girlfriend with a side kiss on the cheek. My first impression of her was that she was kind and quiet, very reserved but of course my older brother knows how to get along with everyone so he is already talking to her. Me, I usually wait for the right moment to come so I can test the waters with new people. My mentality with making friends is that if I see no potential then I will not talk to that person or I will not make the effort to do so. But this friendship was weird. Nothing like the other friendships I have made because we did not talk to each that much the first time we met. Aren't friendships supposed to be based on communication and little bit of trust in the beginning? Yet we ended up exchanging phone numbers at the end of the visit and we would text back and forth to each other. Having a long distance friendship for me is like having the other person at the other end of the friendship send messages in glass bottles hoping to get a reply back from me. I do not just not answer messages on purpose, I just gradually fade away if there is not someone else tugging me back into the picture. Which I am not offended if I do fade away because I do pick up the phone if someone from 2 years ago messages me today asking for advice on something or for a conversation.

Well from the numerous messages we have sent through out the years, I have grown to know my best friend. For what she is, how she became the way she is, and how she identifies herself. When my parents had told me before I arrived at my uncle's house that my cousin's girlfriend's sexuality was different from mine, I accepted it. There was no further explanations needed for me because I saw no purpose in needing any more information. If people treated me nicely and respectfully, I can care less about what sexuality they decide to identify themselves. Well there was one day I had messaged my friend that I have known about her sexuality in case she did not already know but that I totally supported. If you have yet know, I like to lay things on the table. I do not like cutting corners or sugarcoating what could and can be said truthfully to others. Since I have mentioned that I knew her sexuality it was like sealing the deal with our friendship because after that day we got closer. I would go to her for my problems, advice, for a good laugh, every conversation with her leaves me with a smile on my face and I find that rare to find nowadays.

What I have learned about having a long distance bisexual best friend? You learn to appreciate how powerful love can be regardless of sexuality. The other day I remember her telling me that she has been with my cousin for six years and in pure awe I congratulated her. You begin to associate sexuality like age or gender, it's there and you acknowledge it but there is also so much more than that. There was definitely so much to my best friend and it was not because of her sexuality that wanted me to be her friend. I wanted to be her friend because she was genuine, unique, caring, open-minded, strong-minded and intuitive. The distance gets to us sometimes but we have learned to make ends meet whether I message her first or she messages me first we make time for each other even if it's just for a twenty minute conversation. The strength she has developed from her childhood has also partially been passed on to me, and I know that when I feel small and weak I could count on her to push me to get off my butt and continue fighting. I have learned that friendships come in multiple forms and feel I have been blessed to be part of this special friendship. I do not need anyone's blessing or permission to be friends with people who treat me respectfully and correctly. Because they may have a different sexuality as me which has nothing to do with our friendship, I can care less about the assumptions that are made about me. I know who I am. My best friend knows who she and I find that to be enough.

I do not have that many friends that I am able to be completely myself, but I am glad that I can with her. And I cannot thank her enough for taking care of me from a distance as one of her little sisters. That right there is some one of a kind love.

Fun fact: She was the one who gave me the nickname Chavelita.

What have you learned from your friendships?

xx Chavelita

No comments:

Post a Comment