Friday, June 24, 2016

Day 24: Petite & Proud

Ever since I was in school, from my first day of pre-kindergarten to my last day of my senior year of high school I have been known as the short girl. I bet people who I went to school with mainly associated me as the short girl which at the time was quite annoying and I perceived as disrespectful. Out of all of what my personality and my qualities offer and the one thing that people would leave with is is the fact that I was short. Great, even I could of looked in the mirror and realize that about myself. I have lost count to the many times I came complaining to my parents about my size and how because of my size people did not take me seriously. I even thought that because I was short that the guys I was interested in would overlook me. You see, when you are short for the most part people will think that you are weak or that you may need extra help when you are out in public. People automatically assume that being short, that taller people may have the upper hand. Which is how I thought about my size and I kind of just accepted my defeat there. My genes have made me this way and there was no way I was able to change my body.

To be fair, I think I was the biggest bully to myself because before anyone had the opportunity to mention anything about my size I was already putting myself down for it. I had this mentality that if I could beat someone to the teasing then I would not have fallen so hard if someone were to come and actually make comments. I had grown such a thick layer which sometimes growing a thick layer is good but mine was so thick to the point that I started to dislike myself. The what if's came in frequent waves. "What if I was taller..." "What if people saw me for who I am, like actually saw me, rather than seeing my size and automatically judging my talents..." "What if..." I had begun to fall in love with an idea of myself and was drifting away from my actual self.

Until I had reached college, things have changed. I started to look at myself from a different angle. I had come to meet with my flaw as being short because I had come to realize that being short is part of my personality. I started to view my shortness as a unique quality of mine because even though most of the people that go to my university are pretty tall, you find yourself standing out without even trying. People usually care less about how you look like, they may still stare, but for the most part at least I did not care at that point. I began to love myself again and for the healthy body that I have been too busy overlooking. In fact that is how I met one of my good friends from college. We used to live on the same floor and she was that type of person to greet everyone in the hall until one day she came over to my room. We got acquainted and we both spoke freely about where we came from. Sometimes my friend had some pretty unfiltered thoughts and she would occasionally mention how my short figure was what made her want to be my friend and first but then when she got to know me she was grateful to have gotten to know me. So I have come to realize that being short has their privileges. You are able to sit in the middle of the suspended chairs with your friends, you are able to sit at the outer seat of rides, since I am short I needed to ride with a companion most times so I did not have to ride on my own, you are able to get child discounts if you play your cards right, you get to still shop in the girls section at department stores for a cheaper price than the actual woman's wear, and so much more which before I had thought was embarrassing.

What I needed was a change of mindset and maturity to settle with the fact that I am going to be short for the rest of my life and that if I am ever going to be happy then I must accept myself for who I am. I cannot change my body but I can change the way I perceive my body. I totally believe that our Creator has made each and everyone of us into the perfect image that they had imagined us to be. At the time I did not understand why I was made this way but now looking at myself in the mirror I see my petite figure and what comes to my mind is strength. I can totally do what tall people can do and there is nothing wrong to ask for help if I cannot reach. To not be able to reach should be the least of my worries, if I am able to climb my way up then I will. Being a short girl is not that easy but as a short girl you learn to work yourself around the unreachable and you find yourself proving not just others wrong with your capabilities but you start to prove yourself wrong too. Being short is no longer my crutch but it is my step. I am petite and I am proud.

How do you perceive your body?

xx Chavelita

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