Friday, August 1, 2014

Speaking without words

Please tell me that I am not the only one who does this, but do you get this urge that you want to talk to someone but it is like you have no words or do not know what to tell them? No matter how much you stare at the conversation dead in the eye to your device's screen or stare blankly with this weird smirk on your face like you are keeping a secret, when in reality you are mentally telling yourself to say something? Well let me tell you, does that happen to me a lot on a daily basis and forces me to question my level of sociability... As I had mentioned that speaking is not one of my forte and when I do speak it is like a spill you see of pencil shavings, it is messy and sometimes not cleanable. The sad part is that you simply want to talk to them but your mind goes blank so they may get the idea that you do not want to speak. *sigh* Well this is what I learned to overcome those stumps.

Anything you say is okay, do not overthink it. Alright so maybe all you did over the summer was watch Netflix (yeah... no shame on that one) or stay at home but that means you have had a lot of time to think about things. Come up with ideas that you wonder how other people opinionated the given topic. I have a confession to tell you, I ask questions that I already know the answer to. Though it is only because I want to see how other people would think or react. Perhaps that is a little tip of being open-minded, to include others answers with yours. It can be confusing at times but if you are as curious as I am, that would not matter.

State your question anyway! I am proud to say that I was able to carry a conversation for about a whole class period (roughly around 45 minutes)! You want to know how? I asked questions! I been the person to begin a conversation with "how are you"and that is how I fail to keep the conversation running (though saying how are you is not bad!). When you ask a open ended question though you are allowed to hear the input of your peer and then include your own as well. The beauty of that is that once when the conversation starts rolling on its own the questions become easier to create and it formulates an interesting topic to speak upon. I know mind-blowing, but I think people like it when you ask questions. Perhaps I find it as a efficient way to engage someone and not have to whip out any of your stories from the deep past. At least have your question ready that way when you find the right time to ask the right person you will not be typing and erasing your messages the whole night or not be fiddling with your pencil at your desktop.

Keep it simple. Do not force a conversation that is not going anywhere if it is dead, I think it is best to leave it alone... No one enjoys having to be poke at a dead topic with a stick so keep searching. Simplicity goes a long way, you do not have to learn anything you do not want to in order to keep a conversation with your peer. That is the wonders of people, we all have different interests and because of those is where we gain our own individual spotlight. Maybe take turns speaking about what you love or your dislikes but be considerate of your peers interests, do not forget to let them speak. I know a handful of people that has left doing all the speaking or be the one listening to everything with barely a word escaping my lips.

Just know that it is okay that you may not know what to say. If you are great friends with the person you are having a trouble communicating with, they would know that it is nothing personal. There are a range of friendships that do not speak everyday but they do care about you. Occasionally they may ask you how you are or just leave them a unadvised questions they will come back to you. Do not start jumping into conclusions, any word that is said by you is something pleasant to hear even it is the tiniest of hellos. When words do not speak, pictures can. A recording of you singing. Sending your favorite song or sharing music with your peers. Communication come in different shapes and forms.  Keep it at it and hopefully that sensation will soon blow over!

Do you know why that stubborn sensation happens?

xx Chavelita

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