Nothing but clever thoughts

I have constantly been asking myself for the reasons behind the behaviors of others, most importantly my peers (alright, my acquaintances) and is like the pile of disappointments are outweighing the positives.

It is sad that some students do no understand that our teachers are as human as we are, or in fact more human than we are for actually being able to make a living through their own teachings. People forget that teachers go through regular stress and drama of their own and because they are not asked it does not mean that it is not occurring. Not many give their teachers a chance and instead they come up with assumptions for one independent event. Such as when I work in my school's office, it is about a regular that a student will complain that their counselor is never there when they come to see them. Excuse me, but a counselor has emergencies too, a counselor needs to nourish themselves during lunch time, a counselor gets sick too because THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO! Amazing, right? They have blood and flesh just like us, it's remarkable. Honestly, if something is going to be said it should have evidence to actually back up what is going to be said. Some people complain about their counselor not being there and they only went twice. Besides instead of complaining (which could of been time used to do something productive) come during another time or email them. Whatever it is but people have to stop expecting that the world does not revolve around them.

Something happened today in my short day of class today, and it was that my classmates was laughing at their teacher who were stating her opinions and the fact the plagiarism is indeed something that should be avoided especially in IB where if a sentence is copied, that document will be immediately be voided ruining the chance of receiving the IB diploma. I do not understand what is so hilarious about a teacher looking out for her students, in fact she has every right to be scolding the students for previous copying that has been occurring. It is understandable that she is speaking to her whole IB class of this situation occurring and that to some students it should not be a problem but it is as if people are taking IB seriously. I cannot say that last year IB class were more structured and motivated to reach the highest potential they could possibly reach but from the look of my class it is the opposite. Students believe that they can get away with anything such as copying and not have the teachers notice, but when something stinks it is quite hard to not notice the smell. I am truly appreciated through the amount of time, work, and patience these teachers has given us because it is for them that I feel confident to continue this program knowing that if I do what they tell me to do, it is for my future benefit. Teachers are people too, with emotions and sometimes they do feel insecure but the magic of actually socializing with them and getting to know them you will soon realize how hilarious they are and what similar interests that are shared.

It is quite annoying that I come up with the cleverest things to say after my opportunity to actually say it. This is something I want to work on, I am tired of being the bystander who hears everything and does not do anything about it. I have a voice, I should use it even if it means getting judgments from certain people or group of people.

(Just because you casually speak to your teachers/counselors, it does not make you their pet. It means you're mature enough to see that the differences are actually similarities.)

Has there been a time when you just want to slap some sense into people?

xx Chavelita

You're so short

The first week of school I may have mentioned before that I was bullied for my height (something I have absolutely no control over) and instead of just keeping it to themselves they decide to compare heights with me like if I did not notice what they were doing. I want to address that my small size is only the outer part that I cannot hide about myself, and what people do is automatically create assumptions that because I am short they have every right to treat me like a child. Excuse me while I go grab a stool to slap sense into those people. I did not choose to be short as I told my best friend, neither did I choose to be a target. I already have to live with the fact that my doctor said that I am done with growing, that going shoe shopping becomes a chore because I have the smallest feet you can imagine and the tiniest wrists that every bracelet I wear slips right off which is why I do not wear or buy any.

Just because I have to look up most of the time to see people in the eye, it does not mean that I am looking up to you while in fact I only look up because I prefer to see a face than a crotch (and it is more respectable to give someone eye contact when you are speaking with them). Let just say that I am considerate to see faces or if not I would just look at the floor or the person's stomach. Something that agitates me the most is that people who I have no history with begin to speak in this idiotic ignorant tone of voice. I should just speak the same way back and instead throw sarcastic comebacks until they realize that I am not "10" because I am tired of those who correlates age with height. I do not correlate attitude with age, so do not correlate my age with my height. Many underestimate the power of what a short person can handle, not all of us who are short need help. If I cannot reach something in my house I will find a way to climb to my destination before I ask someone for help. I have climbed multiple countertops, pantries and closets you can say that I am pretty certified to handle the unreachable. 

As to this day I still have people ask me bluntly without even knowing my first name, "Why are you so short?" and sometimes I want to say "have you learned anything in Biology or were you too busy having your head up somewhere that doesn't shine?" Of course I am the implosive type of person so I would not say something like that out loud, but why do people ask such obvious questions is beyond ridiculous. I will teach you if you want. Everyone has genes in definition are molecular unit of hereditary of a living organism. Think of them as the instructions in the creation of a human. When a male and a female reproduce to have their children genes from both parents are mixed together to produce the new traits of the child. (Punnet squares are very lovely to paint the picture of the possibilities of their child and what traits they are likely to gain). I like to see myself as Gregor Mendel's pea plant experiment as the shortest pea plant that grew out of the other three plants. Family history plays a huge role of how I inherited my short height because my Dad's mother did not even reach 5 feet just like me though his father was a tall man. My Mom on the other hand her mother was about average height as so her father but being short did run in her family too. It just so happens that I was short because all of these factors affecting my genes. Now you know that before you ask obvious questions, maybe you should open up a Biology book and educate yourself on the human body. 

Height is nothing that should define you of the person you are. There will be ignorant people I have learned that will just want to upset you and just remember that they are not worth your time. Give them a sarcastic comment that either leaves them confuse or staring back at you with disgust. Either way they will stop to bother you. Do not let people take advantage of those sensitive emotions you have. One of the funny comebacks I like to say is, "I am glad you have a good pair of eyes to notice the obvious, congratulations!" 

Hopefully I have taught some of you something. Do not to be that person who states the obvious please I might as well walk around with a piece of paper in front of me with "STOP. THINK. SPEAK." 

How do you tolerate ignorant people?

xx Chavelita 

The Love Language

In my views of showing my affection, I do not really flaunt it instead it is quite silent. I am not the type that will profoundly shout from the top of my lungs who I love instead I write them handmade notes, letters, messages explaining how much I love them and how they impacted my life for the better. I just never thought a relationship with someone should be put on blast as long as you are able to tell them or demonstrate the affection you have for them it should be enough. In that case, when I do find myself loving someone they probably would not even notice since I sense that silent love is not that common at least where I live. Perhaps it is a timid trait that I have in which I have not grown out of or may never will.

My Dad was reading The 5 Love Language (which for those who are about to tell me I know I am not married but in the future I would want to read it) and he told me that there was five different languages to profess love to one another. You can show love using your words, serving others, receiving gifts, spending quality time, or through a physical touch. It makes sense now, love is more than just an emotion to describe affection for something, some place or someone but more of how one may define it. I would have to say my love language would be physical touch and I know that I feel weird being given hugs but it is just that warmth and security that comforts me. Each person has their own love language which is pretty intriguing because I never saw love that way before.

Love is pretty tricky though, it takes patience, compatibility, communication, and time. Knock on wood, but I have only been affected through one divorce in my life time (and no it wasn't my parents, they're still happily married). It saddens to see that a marriage could end so sudden and it worries me how sudden things can change between a relationship. Though for certain I know, they probably did not know each other well enough if they are already starting to have doubts as to where they stand in their relationship. Doubt and jealousy is a mixture that you do not want to see together. Doubt has a way of manipulating the mind causing it to jump into possible nonexistent conclusions ruining a good relationship. To avoid doubt, I guess it is to be faithful and honest with one another. Tell the truth even if it will hurt but please do not make your partner overthink especially when there is nothing to think of. That is one thing that destroys someone from the inside out and affects the people around them.

Revenge should not be a choice or an answer for closure. Be the smarter person and leave them. If they do not know how to treat a person well, what makes you think they will change? Never, no matter how many times they tell you sorry or tell you take me back, go back to the person that once abused you physically or and mentally. They are the ones who are mentally ill and needs help with whatever it is that they are currently going through. Sadly, people change even the ones you may have thought you had known backwards and forwards. Find the courage you need to overcome them and close that chapter as soon as you can. It still gives me shivers that some people will still go back after being mistreated, I am most certain that someone better will treat you righteously the way you deserve.

What is the love language you prefer?

xx Chavelita

Cafeteria Duty

This week as I was waiting in the lunch line, a quick memory came up to me and I thought I should share it.

I was in 6th grade and still in elementary school. Since the school systems in Hawaii are a bit different they still consider 6th grade as a lower level. Well each day two students are chosen to do cafeteria day in which those students take the morning off from classes and go help the cafeteria staff serve the food. This was something completely new to me, my first thought was how are they going to allow kids serve food for four hours straight? Just one time I was chosen to do this job. It was 8 o'clock and I headed to the cafeteria like I was supposed to. I'm not certain if I went alone or I had another classmate go with me but when I got there a pile of plastic aprons and rubber gloves was already waiting for me. You can imagine how those gloves fitted me, to paint you a picture I had to roll the end of my gloves and fold my apron in half. It's like one size is a lie to me because sometimes they're also too big on me. The plus side was that I was eating for free today since I'll be working and having lunch for breakfast couldn't make me any more happier. Surprisingly the cooks spoke Spanish. Yes Spanish, a place where you don't hear it as much which I felt pretty exclusive to be able to understand their conversations. Since not many people speak Spanish in Hawaii, it was nice to use it as this special code to communicate with the my parents in front of my friends who didn't know Spanish. The job I was placed to do was passing the plates to the cook which was okay for me, I didn't like to be in charge of large tasks back then because I lacked confidence and wasn't sure if I was able to handle it. The next thing I am about to say is the truth. When I was on break a car was parked in front the school. Since it's a outdoor school, the hallways are basically outside. But at the moment of break Madison Pettis was walking to her car with her body guards. I was only able to see her curly hair. Now to think about it this is probably the closest I have been to a well known person. I almost missed it too, I can be oblivious at times when it comes to crowded activities and random screaming from classrooms. The rest of day was pretty much routine and at the end of the work day I was fed leftovers which was a bonus. 

I think it would be safe to say that I do understand the tedious, repetitive work the cafeteria staff is put through. Organizing the food. Preparing the food. Serving the food. Then cleaning up. I've been in their shoes and just after that day all I wanted to do was sleep. Next time you see a cafeteria staff member tell them thank you, be kind to them for feeding you and actually taking the time to prepare the food you're about to eat. It's the tiniest gestures that could affect a person and it could actually make them feel that their effort was sufficient.

What is a random memory you remember from school?

(Hopefully she doesn't mind... heh) 6th Grade Graduation

xx Chavelita

Side 2

Hmm, I'm not sure I have told you that I am a military kid (probably briefly in a earlier post). Yes, my father has been serving the Army before I was even born and still is serving the country today. Today I thought I would give you a glimpse as what it is to be a military kid.

The detachment. The total amount of times my Dad has been deployed would be 3 times, at least those I remember and has affected me. I remember the first time when I was small maybe 4, and he was leaving to go to South Korea (of course at that time I was not sure where he was going). When we got there he was saying goodbye and I wanted to go with him but since I was still in my car seat I did not know how to take off the seat belt. He closed the car door and left, with my little self trying to open the car door. Next thing I remember I was crying and watching him take closer steps to the building. The other two times where they are the same honestly, when he left to Iraq I cried numerous times before he actually left the same when he left to Kuwait the previous year. I am always telling myself that I have to be strong and that the sooner he leaves the earlier he gets back.

Single parent. Hands down, I would have to say that my Mom is the strongest person I have met. Full of character and not once have I found her crying when my Dad leaves (unless she does and I don't see her). I am not sure how she does it, having to temporarily play two roles of mother and father. She has always put my brothers and I first before herself. I sometimes wonder how my Mom was like as a person before she met my Dad. Was she already independent, and confident? Or was she timid and quiet like I am at the moment? Glad she chose to marry my Dad, they're the perfect partners for each other and are able to communicate without actually communicating. I call it the telepathic minds. I think it comes when you know the person backwards and forwards that you can actually read thoughts or actions before they happen. It is weird, but my parents has known each other roughly around 30 to 35 years. Either way, I try to make the transition easier for the both us by not asking for much and helping out when I can.

Moving. You would think that the few times I have moved throughout my childhood, I would learn to socialize and learn to make friends quickly. That was probably the biggest obstacle I had to go over. Saying goodbyes were the worst and then seeing people who look like the friends you have left was heartbreaking. I do not consider myself to have a hometown since the place I was born in I only stayed them until I was one year old and we moved again. Though I am thankful that I had the opportunity to travel, learn new cultures, meet people I would have not thought of knowing. It has taught me not to be ignorant and create assumptions based on the media instead to actually know them for who they are. Such as when I lived in Hawaii, I was introduced to the ukulele. It's like a tiny guitar with only four strings but it creates such a beautiful relaxing tune that for Christmas I had gotten one and over this summer I have been playing. When I used to go to middle school over there, during transition periods some of my classmates would spontaneously just play the ukulele and walk to class. Since it was an outdoor school, the sound would travel around the campus. Spam musibi was another thing I miss, you could go to almost any gas station and buy one. It is basically a piece of cooked spam on rice wrapped in seaweed. It was also made with teriyaki chicken. Such lovely people I met when I lived there, nice to have felt included.

Friends. So far the nationalities I have met include Polynesian, Samoan, Venezuelan, Spanish, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese and German. I had a best friend who was Korean and she drew so amazingly that it caused me to pick up drawing myself. I had met her in the 6th grade and we were both wallflowers only I was the first to interact. I began to include her more when others would not give her a chance. I do not regret meeting her, she was the first to take me to eat Pho with her family (I believe it is Vietnamese soup and they give you the meat is a bit raw but you're supposed to dip the meat into the broth to finish its cooking, so good...), first to introduce me into Nutella, and expanded my music vocabulary for introducing to Vocaloid which is Japanese computerized singing robots that sound like humans and through that I picked up some Japanese phrases and we would talk to each other in small verses in Japanese. At church in Hawaii is where I felt included since everyone spoke Spanish there and I honestly felt like I was Puerto Rico. In fact I met a Puerto Rican mother that I grew close to that I still talk to, her stories were profound. Give people chances is something important I have learned, you have to open up if you want to actually settle into the location you were stationed in. And who knows, you may see them again.

Being a military kid has their pros and cons, but I have learned to make the best out of each situation. Like go to the top of Moana Loa the tallest mountain in the Big Island where you have to look down to see the clouds or run a 5K for a fundraiser in Texas. I have heard a lot of times that military kids grow up faster than normal kids but I do not think it's necessarily true. Everyone grows up by the amount of experiences and stories they have encountered throughout their childhood that develop them to become the person they are today. But I do believe it makes us grow up differently among the rest. Obviously there is more, but this the glimpse of the military kid life. In person I do not mention that I am a military kid because it either not brought up or I do not bring it up. It's not something I like to talk about but it is a part of who I am and I cannot ignore it.

How has the military impacted your life?

xx Chavelita

What they don't tell you about happiness

There are moments in my life where I tell myself, "I must be so damn lucky to have come across this person in my life". It takes me back to when I first met them and how at that moment I did not think we would be conquering obstacles together. These thoughts just comes out at random waves and today just happened to be one of those days.

Sometimes we forget to take into consideration of the tiny gestures that come to us because we are expecting a big change at one given moment. In reality, we are not realizing that those small gestures is what making that big change in our lives. Extravagant items is something nice to have, but how long will that sustain your happiness? How is that you define happiness to begin with? Before I thought I had known what was the definition of happiness, to be content with your life and make something out of it. Happiness to me now is to be able to take all the crappy aspects that has happened in my life and turn it around as something of an accomplishment. Remind myself that life throws things at you and you're given the choice to make the best out of it or let it ruin your life. It is not easy, it took me a long time to steer myself into the right direction and to be independent and responsible for my own happiness. The added people who decide to join into my journey is not my main source of happiness, and it shouldn't be because they are temporary. That does not mean that I do not appreciate or love them because I do more than anyone can imagine. It just means that you should not rely your happiness on something that you do not have a control of. This is where people begin to decline. As soon as they meet someone that makes you forget about your problems you may think it is alright but those problems are still going to pile up if you do not do anything about them. People are going to come and go as they please, do not let them take away your happiness too. Happiness is something to be shared with, not given to others and allow them to control. Be your own source of happiness and be like the sun that radiates it to others. This comes back to the people that I met, do not take advantage of them and treat them with respect because they will not be there for long and it is just best to be the one leaving on a good foot ahead of you. First impressions are said to be 7 seconds long before someone gets the idea of what type of person you are so blow them away. Give people the chance to demonstrate themselves before you decide to push them away. 

Treat yourself right, and next thing you'll know everything will begin to fall into place. Nothing should be forced, if it does not fit then maybe it fits somewhere else. Do not limit yourself to the many possibilities you can accomplish in life. This world is awfully big, a little exploring could help you find what it is you are looking for. A new beginning could be a challenge but you will not have anything to compare it to if you stay in the same location that makes you unhappy. 

What is your definition of happiness?

xx Chavelita

Social Norms or Stereotypes?

This is quite an unavoidable topic to simply skip and this has been on my mind most of this week to be in fact. As little as we begin to gain a memory capacity in our brains in which we can actually record events and have an ability to recall it for future use, social norms are already impacting us. It is crucial as babies of what we learn that parents may not realize that what they are teaching or the choices they decide to take not only affect them but their child. It could even be the tiniest of things such as the type of toys being bought, to the colors of their clothing.

Social norms is surrounding us and I do not think it is something we can put aside compared to the massive influence it has on certain countries. Speaking apart to my own country which is the United States there are numerous times at school where people will throw out the term, "that's gay" to something feminine. There are two wrongs there, one is that gay is being used as an offensive adjective in this context and two that gay is immediately associated with feminine. (Women are not weak trust me) In addition it is putting down femininity by stating that having feminine qualities automatically makes you the weaker individual. Simple ignorance of terms and phrases is something that I personally cannot tolerate because people are putting down others for things that they may not even be able to change. They probably do not understand the situation or the person to be throwing around words that may not have much meaning to say given individual but have a whole different meaning to the person that is being told. (If you're gay, I apologize for the people who put you down without even giving you a chance to shine. Continue fighting, do not let them win.)

"You scream like a girl." "Man up." "Boys cannot play with dolls, those are for girls." "Oh he's homeless, I wonder what he did to get there..." "Blue for boys, pink for girls." "The man goes to work, while the woman stay at home to take care of the kids."

Soon we learn that social norms can turn into stereotypes or vice versa that manipulate the perspective of the world. Stereotypes are not instincts so it is definitely taught from one human to another, that soon spreads like wildfire. The following examples above on our social norms (the United States) is not all but a few that I have grown up listening to from different people that I have met. At first I did not understand what these phrases and their meaning behind it because I was naive, but now realizing it is quite rude and offensive. Sometimes people do not allow others that chance to prove themselves because of many reasons for example their ethnicity and history behind the way they impacted our country. Such as the Twin Towers incident happening in September of 2001 now everyone who wears a turban are soon questioned or given judgmental looks. I do understand that at the time this event was occurring I was turned away from the media and did not know what was happening but I do know that because of something that happened in the past it should not make us paranoid of what could happen in the future. Yes be careful but do not let an event control your life. In fact, security should of been enforced before something like this had to happen to open our eyes. May those who died rest in peace.

A girl like me are constantly being tested, it is not until now that I am allowed to do more things independently. The reason why I could not was because I was not able to protect myself or take care of myself to be able to walk a few blocks from my house to the school or the library without my parents having a heart attack. I understand that they're concern but ideas like these are lowering my self-confidence. I want to be a girl with good self-confidence and self-esteem and it's like with the media of perverts attacking on girls and defacing them, models defining what is "beauty", and with job opportunities and their tensions it is like an endless test to prove myself that I can do it. Same with guys because they are just affected but the country that I live in it's a male dominant country. Please do not tell me that girls have gotten their right to vote and privileges because of the 19th Amendment and everything is all dandy. I would be content if the pay was equal to men, that I am not expected to always be at home taking care of my child, and for once see a single mom taking care of her child without having to be asked questions of the father and how she's going to support herself and her child. 

I live in a world where no one can win so we decide the path to where we can lose the least amount and still barely make happy. This blogpost is something out of the usual to what I write but I would like to see what your opinion it is to either social norms or stereotypes of your country. By means this was not written to cause arguments or to attack anyone mentioned. I respect your opinions and it is fine to think differently of the things mentioned today. I apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings. 

xx Chavelita