The C word...

College seems to be a topic where some individuals get shy to speak about or something that should be left alone and not spoken about. Some of the reasons that may come to mind is the difficulty of visualizing where the future may take us. Since the future is merely an idea and is not something quite set in stone yet, pretty much anything can go. In circumstances like these we are forced to make decisions and not doing anything about the future is a decision a lot make because we have no clue what to do with the remainder of life. In the beginning of my freshman year in high school I had no plan as to what I wanted to achieve in my life, every time I were to be asked I simply lifted up my shoulders and recited the "I don't know". Some people had a scattered idea but it was better to have something to start with than nothing. Until my junior year in high school is when I had enough. To not be able to give an immediate or a solid answer for me was embarrassing. Here I am a bright kid with a passion for learning and then not to be able to name one college of interest or career to a family member, counselor or friend? I had to change that and by taking little steps into the wild is probably a good way to start.

1. Attend college presentations. 
I understand that there will be times that a college presentation may not be of little to no interest of yours maybe because the college does not sound right or of the location but you should at least take an advantage of what is being offered at your convenience. The college adviser set up and planned this presentation not for themselves but for the students to open up their minds to college. Now I do not know how much time and effort the college advisers place for their students but starting at their title as College Adviser should allow the idea that their main focus is to assist and guide students to a college. To help find a college that the student could be compatible to. These presentations can be broad since they are limited to time but attend a few of these and slowly jut down which ones were eye catching to you then go research or call for more information. A dedicated student are like brownie points for colleges and to see that you have set an effort to gather more information is by far marvelous.

2. Talk to your college adviser or counselor.
Like I touched upon, college advisers or counselors are educators too except they specialize more based on the student. Grades, the counselor know. Test scores, the counselors know. What you had for breakfast, alright so not everything about you but they do know a good chunk of your academic life. You are pretty much out in the nude so what is there to hide? I have a little secret to tell you... they also went to college. THEY ALSO WENT TO COLLEGE! Of course they have been in your shoes, some point in their life they had to apply for college in order to get their job. Bonding with your counselor will make this transition so much easier and less stressful trust me they will keep you in check. Trust your counselor or trust in an educator that will help you strive and break you from your fears of attending college.

3. Be consistent and open minded. 
At some point my oldest brother looked straight into my eyes and told me to apply for colleges. Apply to as many as you want that interest you and the rest will follow through. Do not repeat the mistakes that were committed by my brother where he only applied to one college and crossing his fingers that he will get in. When D-day came, he was declined and was stressing out as to where he would be going to college. The blessing was that a close family friend recommended him to a college that they had graduated from. Now in 2015 he will be graduating with his bachelors in Aerospace Engineering. Besides the point, be open minded but do not get discouraged if you are not accepted to one of your choices. This is why I want all of you to apply to at least five colleges. Just five. Easy, right? If you want to apply to more, be my guest.

4. Financial aid to the rescue!
Depending on the college you have applied to there will be numerous amounts of opportunities to get financial support to assist you in college expenses. By far one of my main reason of college is being able to afford it. Any scholarship that you are eligible for, you should really consider filling it out. There is money everywhere even in places you would doubt. See if they are any chances of being a student worker in your upcoming college that will provide any necessities or money to pay for college. There is also grants available which is basically free money so I would take full advantage of those too.

College at the moment for me is a surreal idea to think about but to be accepted is like confirming that surreal idea. Just know college is worth it so instead of being intimidated by them embrace them with full force. There are people out there to help you out, you just have to find them.

Which colleges have you applied to and what major did you have in mind?

xx Chavelita

Discouragement is the devil

Raise your hand if you ever encountered the sensation of losing faith in what you believe in? Or to have this feeling that no matter how hard or how much you work to strive for success you still feel stuck? Well I'm going to be straightforward with you all, it's the worst. We try to pick up our loose pieces but we drop them as soon as we see someone else finding the success you were grasping for. Well the only way to get through discouragement is to actually tackle down the problem. I have my waves but the way I manage to get through them is to remind myself of the accomplishments that were completed. If I were to get through those, what makes the the next problem any different? At the moment it may seem like you're climbing up a snowy mountain, never ending and tiresome, clueless as to where you will end up to be. The atmosphere so thick that you cannot see in front or in back of you but you keep pushing forward because we have this mentality that we've made it this far that to give up seems like a waste of effort. 

To friends I've been telling them to believe in themselves. Yes it is easier said than done, but it is a crucial step to take. A friendly reminder from yourself to yourself. Practice it. Preach it. Sing it. Scream it. Do whatever it takes to get that message engraved into your head. Do not throw in the towel just yet if you feel like something is not working out change it up a bit. Pick your battles carefully and plan them out. Do not just plan one out but a good set of three just in case you change your mind or something does not work out that you have a back up plan to soften your fall. 

Be optimistic. Apply your talents whenever you can, try not to take your failures too personally. I cannot promise you that everything will work out because that would be a lie but I can promise you that the sooner you get up the better. Keep the ball rolling and do not compare yourself to others successes because your successes are incomparable to others. Only you know what those successes are worth. Do not let other things or people dull you or of your achievements. If people congratulate you for them bless their hearts but don't let that distract you either. Just like the book Me Before You, “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.” (You should read this novel when you have the chance). So yes, live your life and avoid getting stuck. If you do, find a way to get back on your feet. Time is not stopping for anybody so use it to your full advantage. 

PS The new year is coming up perhaps take this time to clean up your plan and tweak it if needed. Change can be refreshing but be careful as well. Maintain a balance within yourself and others. Do not completely isolate yourself from distractions or people but do not get attached to anyone either. 

What are your plans to live life to the fullest? 

xx Chavelita

Generation

First of all I want to apologize for my disappearance, I understand as a blogger I should remain consistent among my work and to be able to provide support for everyone of my reader even if most of you read my blog silently. What ever the cause may be though, please know that my contact information is still there in case any of you need a friend to speak to or advice because of you guys is why I write. Alright aha enough with the mushy talk.

Well the other day I was messaging a really close teacher of mine and somehow the topic of the human race came into discussion from me mentioning that I was going to have my wisdom teeth extracted. Going back through the messages I had told my teacher that there was times that I did not enjoy being part of the American teens statistics. Lately I have been obtaining this sensation that instead of progressing with time that the youth is declining with everything moving at such a rapid pace. To be honest with all of you, I do not have the slightest clue of fixing this situation I and the rest of the teenagers been placed in. Then I thought maybe we are just in a phase. We are in the phase that I would like to use exercising as an analogy. When you exercise you have crossed emotions of feeling sore, you have a sense of pride in the progress you are making, a bit of frustration that the results are not coming fast enough and simply lethargic from all the work you put into your body. Though there will come a time where the exercises that you were once performing are no longer giving you the results and instead they are being counterproductive. The body has basically adjusted to these exercises that the muscles neglect the work which is why your physical education teacher tells us to switch up our exercises in order to produce strength within our bodies.

We are in that transition phase of deciding whether to add more weight or to completely change the exercise so coming back to the human race we are stuck trying to decide what path to take. The reason why we are stuck is that we rather stick to the familiarity than to attempt something out of the ordinary. It is a frightening step to take, believe me because we all crossed this path at least once in our lives. As soon as someone does decide to walk along the "unorthodox" path they are soon put on this spotlight. We try so hard to find new improved methods to move this country forward but we are soon discriminating or creating prejudice thoughts that ruin the image we create for ourselves resulting us in abandoning that route and detouring into our comfort zone. I really wish I had to solution to this situation you have no idea how many times I question the thought process of others and the outcomes of some of the friendships throughout the years.

I just want all of you to know that if you do not like something you are not obligated to follow that trend. In fact remain true to your beliefs and liking because oddly when you think you are alone, there are a vast amount of others who are waiting to find someone they could be compatible with. Whenever we will be ready, a significant breakthrough will shape our generation and soon prove the potential we have. We all share something in common, we all have a brain and with the power of knowledge I believe it is our ticket to success we just need to find a way to connect all these thoughts and intentions together.

What are your thoughts on your generation?

xx Chavelita

The storage tree

Lately I have felt this heavy, not necessarily physically but like this weight of emotions on top of me that has kind of been suffocating for a while. It was not until yesterday when I spoke with my Dad did I realize that there was something that I had to change about myself. For that reason I want to share a story that he told me during our talk.

There was once a gardener and a carpenter. The gardener came to work and first he wanted to cut down some trees to make room for his garden but the machine just wouldn't turn on for him. Moments later he attempted to do another task in the garden but it started to rain that interrupted him again from completing his task. It was bad thing after bad thing, and when it was time to go home his car would not turn on so he asked the carpenter if he could take him home. The carpenter said yes because he had noticed the gardener going through his hardships. As they arrived home to the gardener's house, before the gardener went inside the house he encounters this tree on the side of his house. He touched the tree and once when he was done he invited the carpenter into his house for a cup of coffee. Drinking his coffee he begins to see the gardener playing and laughing with his children as if nothing were to happen. Which the carpenter found strange because didn't he experience a troubling day at work? When the carpenter was about to leave, the gardener escorted him out but before the carpenter could leave he had to ask him what did he do to the tree that made him lose all this anger. The gardener then said, that is the tree where I leave all my problems that has happened to me during the day. The next day I go back to the tree to pick up my problems as I go to work but usually its less problems then what I had left the night before. And with that the carpenter left in his truck.

I have always had this issue of wanting to help people and I also have this bad habit of carrying other people's burdens with me. And I told myself, I need my own tree. I need a place where I can put all these troubling thoughts and frustrations in one place, in that way it does not affect my performance in other things. It is not fair that I was affecting the people around me who did not have anything to do with my situation and it was time that I changed that. I have decided to just stay in this neutral state, I cannot force help on those who ask for it and it should not be my problem because honestly it is not my problem. I am not the one having to live through other people's situations, which is why as of now I should focus on what I have to get through and to get done. If people need help, then I'll help but that is if they only ask me for it. I also struggled to find people who would understand what it is that I was going through and all this time I have been overlooking my family for many years. It was not until my aunt told me that why I was telling outsiders my problems when I have a family who knows exactly what is going on. So guys please, do not take your family for granted because when they say they are there for you I kid you not they are there for you. And if that is not the case, usually those who are there for you, are there for you. Be careful who you tell your problems to.

How have you guys been? I hope you guys are all doing well.

xx Chavelita

I don't know what to say

A laughter a day they say 

Could keep the sickness away 

To smile and wonder 

Can create such a blunder 

Avoid the mad, the sad, and the bad

And to just be glad 

My tears lose their meaning 

As more and more are seamlessly leaving 

Choked up in my own words

How wondrous a mind can be without cords 

I close my eyes and I count to three 

Soon I escape to a vast land of trees 

If only there was a possibility 

That one day I could expand this probability 

To be open and accept those 

Who are waiting to be close 

But instead they are placed aside 

Hoping that they would soon glide 

So I wouldn't have to manage 

The fact that one day they don't have to deal with my baggage 

Endless fights that keep me awake 

Of what could of been if I stopped being fake 

Pieces of me scream I can do it 

Though other times I'm left with a pit

How can someone be so happy 

But also feel so crappy 

If life were to give us answers instead of lemons 

Would we be content with the lessons 

So many questions 

Yet I cannot seem to get any explanations

So as of now I remain as myself 

And that someday my life will be found on a shelf 

This poem I wrote last night around 9 PM and at first it all started with the intention of writing a poem. The idea didn't come to me until I started writing, and everything just happened to spill. I called this poem, "I don't know what to say" because lately that is what I have been replying to. I have these moments where you have the words at the tip of your tongue and it's not that you're being inconsiderate but the words aren't there. Well these are the thoughts I have when that happens. I have stories, I just don't know where to begin.

What ways do you use to express yourself?

xx Chavelita 

Anxiety

Anxiety is a weird feeling to experience and mostly comes in the most inconvenient moments. For an example, I went downtown with my parents for the second time. Walking down the sidewalk though I kept seeing people that looked similar to the person I had to confront. Something like this has never happened to me before. Perhaps the only thing that has happened when I reached in this level of anxiety is that I avoid the public so I would not have to confront that person. It was different this time because everyone around me reminded me of that person. Then the lightheaded feeling was returning and the rush of butterflies in my stomach could not stop. My thoughts were scattered, is it possible that as someone gets older anxiety takes a different toll? I am not sure if I should see a doctor for this since I would not be able to explain in exact terms of what is going on with my body.

From these episodes of anxiety I have learned though that the sooner you deal with them, the easier it is to get over them. The damage would not be severe because for one thing I would not want to have foggy thoughts because then I am disoriented with the world outside of me. My tips in lowering anxiety is taking a calm steam-less shower or bath whichever you prefer. Steam actually triggers this sensation of suffocation that makes me more anxious so I am not sure if it gives other people the same reaction. Take a walk. Even  if it is just for a block, it will help clear out your mind and your lungs will be grateful for the fresh air. If you want, take your music along and imagine yourself in your happy place. Control your breathing, normally when anxiety decides to kick in you begin to breathe quicker and you may not be realizing it. Steady your breath intake, don't worry there is enough oxygen for you to take in. The same concept of being sick and losing your appetite happens in anxiety and what I recommend is that to at least eat half of the portion you would normally eat. Your body is your temple, and you need to nourish it in order for it flourish it (no rhyme intended aha). Drink lots of water or maybe drink a cup of warm tea to relax yourself. Lastly take a nap or rest your body, clear your mind for a while or give your thoughts the time to catch up.

I understand that anxiety comes in many forms and severity but it is important to take care of yourself. Take a day off once in a while and avoid having all your stress pile up. Exercise all that anxiety away if you need, have a mini party session for yourself and dance until you can't anymore. Whatever it takes to reduce that anxiety do it just make sure it is legal please. Talk to someone if that may be the case. Anxiety can be a pain in the butt, but you have the power to kick its butt.

What are some ways you do to get rid of anxiety?

xx Chavelita

"I don't know what to do"

Every time I hear someone tell me, "I don't know what to do", I break a little inside. If you do not know what you want, then how exactly am I supposed to know what you want? The only thing I could simply do is be your supporting friend and listen to anything that you have on your mind. This seems like a test and frankly I am not sure I am passing it. When I do not say anything the majority of the time is because I do not know what to say. It's like my mind goes on overdrive running infinite amount of circles as a hamster on a wheel. Though I have been thinking, if you do not know what to do I suggest you step back from the big picture. Perhaps you are over analyzing the choices you have that you are not quite seeing them clearly. Sometimes for a question it would only need a simple answer. Stress could indeed be a major factor and there are times you would want to breakdown. There is nothing wrong with breaking down it relieves some of the stress and it allows you to start over.

Some questions I ask myself when I feel this way is, "Why am I feeling like this?" which helps guide my focal point to the issue. Writing down these feelings in private could also shape the cluttered thoughts like for myself I have a journal where I write anything and everything when I could no longer handle it. It is your journal thus you can write anything in it, exactly the way you want it. What I advise you though is that you go and tell someone too. Talking about it with someone gives you leverage and to further organize those thoughts. Usually when someone does not know what to do, they have an idea what they want. They are not completely in the dark or how else would they know how they are feeling this way? This expression is rather tricky and from experience you just have to give it time. Do not ask me how much time you should give yourself or the person experiencing this because it all depends on the individual. I know it may sound a bit rude, but it's the best that I got. I cannot simply go into someone's mind and make decisions for them. I mean I could barely even make own decisions... Though what you can do is let them know that they are not alone in this. Do not force them into making a decision, this is the time where you have to be understanding and have patience for that person. Trust me, I know it is hard to see someone go through this though you still have your life is still continuing. You cannot just push pause on your own life. Do not drop everything for that person, when they are ready they will come for you. Faith is a key factor of dealing with circumstances like this. It is all about playing your cards right on your faith and facing whatever may come up.

What I also think is that perhaps yourself or that person needs to change something in their life in order to find their place. A routine could be great until there is one piece of it missing that throws you off. Think of what will make you content with your life and play with it. If something does not work, exchange it for something else until you find that happy medium. That is the wonderful thing about being your own person, that you are able to change what you do not like for something that you do. Just be careful for what you are changing because sometimes there is no way of going back to the life you previously had.

When was the last time you took a risk?

xx Chavelita

PS I apologize for not writing, I was indeed sorting out my own thoughts ahahaha but they will be more I actually have a list of topics on my phone so keep your eyes peeled for them! :)