Day 11: Beautifully Misunderstood

Love was in the air

But it felt stiff in my bones

My body torn limb to limb

Such knowledge only to be used against me

Praying in a solution to fix this mess

Eyes lost their focus

And still holding onto this

Tiny spec of hope

Though it was not enough

At least it did not feel like it was

To keep this flame alive

It takes more of my energy that my desire

Must continue

I repeat myself

The uncontrollable giggles

Holding onto empty messages

Constantly checking on everyone else

Too many trips down memory lane

This has to stop

Must place myself first

I have to polish up

Reset my mind

Put away all this discontent and insecurities

Soon those who want to join will join

Then the world will no longer be a lonely, sad place after all

-April 12th, 2014

xx Chavelita

Generation

First of all I want to apologize for my disappearance, I understand as a blogger I should remain consistent among my work and to be able to provide support for everyone of my reader even if most of you read my blog silently. What ever the cause may be though, please know that my contact information is still there in case any of you need a friend to speak to or advice because of you guys is why I write. Alright aha enough with the mushy talk.

Well the other day I was messaging a really close teacher of mine and somehow the topic of the human race came into discussion from me mentioning that I was going to have my wisdom teeth extracted. Going back through the messages I had told my teacher that there was times that I did not enjoy being part of the American teens statistics. Lately I have been obtaining this sensation that instead of progressing with time that the youth is declining with everything moving at such a rapid pace. To be honest with all of you, I do not have the slightest clue of fixing this situation I and the rest of the teenagers been placed in. Then I thought maybe we are just in a phase. We are in the phase that I would like to use exercising as an analogy. When you exercise you have crossed emotions of feeling sore, you have a sense of pride in the progress you are making, a bit of frustration that the results are not coming fast enough and simply lethargic from all the work you put into your body. Though there will come a time where the exercises that you were once performing are no longer giving you the results and instead they are being counterproductive. The body has basically adjusted to these exercises that the muscles neglect the work which is why your physical education teacher tells us to switch up our exercises in order to produce strength within our bodies.

We are in that transition phase of deciding whether to add more weight or to completely change the exercise so coming back to the human race we are stuck trying to decide what path to take. The reason why we are stuck is that we rather stick to the familiarity than to attempt something out of the ordinary. It is a frightening step to take, believe me because we all crossed this path at least once in our lives. As soon as someone does decide to walk along the "unorthodox" path they are soon put on this spotlight. We try so hard to find new improved methods to move this country forward but we are soon discriminating or creating prejudice thoughts that ruin the image we create for ourselves resulting us in abandoning that route and detouring into our comfort zone. I really wish I had to solution to this situation you have no idea how many times I question the thought process of others and the outcomes of some of the friendships throughout the years.

I just want all of you to know that if you do not like something you are not obligated to follow that trend. In fact remain true to your beliefs and liking because oddly when you think you are alone, there are a vast amount of others who are waiting to find someone they could be compatible with. Whenever we will be ready, a significant breakthrough will shape our generation and soon prove the potential we have. We all share something in common, we all have a brain and with the power of knowledge I believe it is our ticket to success we just need to find a way to connect all these thoughts and intentions together.

What are your thoughts on your generation?

xx Chavelita

The secret of knowledge

Right now I'm currently researching for my two papers one of them is on the Soviet Union's economy during the Second World War and my other one is on psychology on the physiological behavior of people diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. And let me tell you, I have this weird love for old books. The smell of the books, little notes left by previous readers, the texture of the pages, it's as if they tell their own story beside the ones of their content. If they are hardcover with a simple background color the better because it doesn't distract the reader from judging the cover when there's no pictures in front or back. I could stay in a library the whole day if I was left alone, escaping within the vastness of literature, building up my knowledge, and finding out the secrets left within the pages of each book. Call me weird, but I'm quite excited to be starting college next fall of 2015 and hopefully with the preparations of IB will help lead into this transition. (I seriously need to find someone who is just as enthusiastic to learn and tell me random facts about what they found out..)

What do you want to do with your life when the time comes or what are you planning to major in? 

xx Chavelita