Day 2: The night with Mary Jane

In my second semester of college I was invited by my floor mate to go clubbing which for some it is not a big deal but for me who does not normally go out, it was a spur of the moment night. I did not think about it too much because I knew if I thought thoroughly of going to this club I would convince myself not to go and end spending yet another night in watching some overly dramatic Spanish movie while contemplating what were the producers thinking while recording the film. You need to watch one in order for you to understand... I am still thinking about the plot on Brujas... Anyway, I dressed out of my shorts and went with black leggings and layered with a denim shirt and sweater. I allowed my floor mate to do my makeup and just like that my floor mate along wih my other floor mate headed to the car. It was already passed midnight when we had left but the night had just begun. Roaming around the empty streets, the clubs were relatively close to one another. Just going up and down the street you would find each club blasting their own type of music with individuals all dressed distinctively. For someone who is quiet on most days, I was blurting out lyrics to the new Panic! At The Disco album with the windows rolled down. I was feeling alive that night.

During the night though there was a change, none of the clubs had caught our attention and with that my floor mate calls one of her friends, I am assuming he parties often since he did have the hook up to this party where supposedly a band was playing, and we decided to swing by his place. The moment he got in the back of the car with me, he was bringing this sketchy vibe and his over confidence kind of just wanted to make me gag. Did not help that he was already smelling like he was rolling in smoking cocaine leaves. I reminded myself that tonight was supposed to be fun and I was putting my trust in my floor mates that they would not let anything wrong happen to any of us. After collecting a few drinks from the local convenience store we headed to the party. At least it was safe to say that it was better to have purchased the drinks beforehand instead of arriving the party where you may have no clue what they put in their alcohol. Not that I am promoting drinking alcohol in any way but if you are going to do it, then be safe and smart about it.

1. I would advise to not drink with people you do not know. Same goes for drinking in small groups, stay close to the people you came to the party with and keep watch of each other in case something were to happen.
2. Have a designated driver in case you do decide to drink
3. Drink responsibly, know your limits

You can always say no to drinking. You can always say no to anything that you do not want to do and if you are being threatened or forced to do something after saying no try to seek help. Even if you have to draw attention to yourself or have to fight your way through. Sexual violence happens and it could happen to any of us at any given moment. Please do not think because you go to a party that you have to pick up a drink and join. I went to this party and I had told my friends that I was not going to drink. I came in the party without the intention of drinking and I came out with the same intention of not drinking. They understood my decision and did not force me to drink. Yeah I was awkward at the party to be the few sober people there but I cannot put myself at risk especially when I do not know my limits and that night was not the time to find out. So if you come across friends who judge you for not drinking or even friends who judge you for drinking then I think that should be enough to say about who your friends are.

We arrive at the party and it was like if I was slapped by a blunt. The place reeked of alcohol and weed, I thought I was going to get high myself just by inhaling the second hand fumes. As I stood there with my friends while they spoke to few of the people from the party, I scoped my surroundings and my exits. In the living room there was a group of guys playing video games, a tipsy small man making his way through the kitchen, and a man knocked out cold in the backyard. There was petite girls like me who were drinking like champs and all I can think about is how... I suppose anything is possible in gatherings like these. I am not trying to be prejudice at all but I felt like I had stepped into one of those cliche teen party movies and the only thing was missing is having the police come through the door and break the party up or even join in because who knows what the twenty-first century brings. By this time it was about 2 in the morning and the party was still going hard. This was a moment where I thanked myself for being an introvert and preferring a small pizza and a movie in the comfort of my own bed. I think there was even a moment of the night that this tipsy guy was hitting on me so that just about tops the party experience.

At about two thirty in the morning we leave the party and head back to the dorm. Me just being me, I apologize for my awkwardness but that I still thought the night was interesting even though it will probably be something I would not try again. To keep the night going we decided to go for breakfast at IHOP and that is how our night ended, with a night filled with Mary Jane and a stomach full of pancakes. I believe I did not get home until 4 in the morning but I can say now that I have experienced my first college party.

Please be safe in parties or gatherings where there is alcohol or drugs involved. In moments of danger, do not be hesitant to call the authorities.

xx Chaveltia

College Update

Alright so maybe I fell off of the face of the Earth for the entire month of August, but no one told me how emotional this college transition was going to turn out. So here I will take the time to catch you up all as to what I have been up to this past month until now.

• Cultural shock. Just the atmosphere itself is different. Now I am lucky, no, EXCITED that I get to hear someone speak Spanish. When people would say that my hometown was like this safety bubble different from the rest of Texas, I did not obtain that full understanding until I actually left that bubble. That is the first of many things that I miss about home. I really hope to get over this cultural shock and learn to be able to connect with people here. 
• Food is a responsibility not a privilege. If I want to eat I have to either be able to make it in the comfort of my dorm room (which I don't mind much because that is what I would do at home) or put my shoes on to head out to go grab something to eat. No more laying in bed and get the occasional texts from my mom of whether I want a fried egg or pancakes while I was still in bed. Also remembering to eat is important because as busy as that college life could get time managing is important to schedule when you are going to eat because you do not want to be that kid in the middle of a quiet room with a monster roaring for attention. 
• Grocery shopping is also something that I haven't yet done but I will soon. Now I am going to be that lady who inspects all of her groceries to see if she is getting her money's worth of food. Adulthood is just one curious thing after the other. 
• HOMESICKNESS. Not that I get homesick that often because I force myself to stay busy but when I have those times to reflect over my day, you can't help but miss your parents and your friends. On my first time going to church alone, I couldn't stop thinking about my mom and all the lovely people who I would see every Sunday. That was probably my biggest bump in the road but at least I went to church and continued moving forward. It's still a part of who I am even though I am starting a new chapter in my life and I think it's fine to be homesick so long as it doesn't get in the way of the actual studying and learning part which is the reason why I left in the first place. 
• So many acquaintances, but still no friends. I have met so many people and seen so many people in these two weeks of school and it's so refreshing to be seeing people from all parts of the world speaking in their native tongue. So far I have not made any friends that I spend time on a regular basis outside of classroom hours (excluding my dorm roommate) but I am still trying to remain optimistic that I will soon find my people and be more comfortable at my campus.
• I am now a Research Assistant in the Psychology department. Before I had left for college I received an email from my psychology major adviser stating that there was research assistant opportunities open since those who were research assistant are or already have graduated and needed new people to come fill in the spaces. At first I thought it was a long shot to apply for one of the positions because I honestly had no clue what I was getting myself into but my mentality of college being the time of experimentation I submitted my application. A few days after I had started my classes, I received an email from the person in charge of the study asking when was a good time that I could meet for an interview. Here I am thinking that, alright everyone gets interviewed it's reasonable because they don't want to blindly accept someone without knowing a few things about them. On that Friday (which was last week if we want to be more specific) of my interview I actually tried on my appearance, straightened my hair, applied makeup, ironed out my shirt, I wanted to make a good impression. Arriving there 15 minutes before my interview I was mustering the courage I had to actually knock on the door because I was already waiting outside the door. Turns out that the interview went a lot smoother than I expected, all the nervous feelings I had kind of just remained outside of the door and the interview felt more like a casual conversation between the graduate student who was interviewing me and myself. What stood out from the whole interview that he normally does not get undergraduate freshmen applying for research assistants this soon into their college career but that my application stood out. I STOOD OUT. And well he also told me that normally he does not pick freshmen for the position but he chose me. ME. I couldn't have felt any more prouder in myself that day. I am starting this Tuesday and I am pretty excited as to what I get to do.
• Am I scared? A constant question I ask myself, but I can't quite decide if I am really scared to just be in a new environment handling different situations or I feel more independent but just wishing to have someone that tags along with me so I don't feel as lonely. For the most part, I don't think much about the thought of being alone and doing things for myself. Perhaps this is the major turning point to teenager into the starting of adulthood. I know that if my mom was still around I would stay near here but it's kind of hard when we're 335 miles apart from one another. You come to that point that you just stop thinking about the things that are not important and actual pinpoint want needs to get done and you do it. No one is going to be telling me,  "Isabel, did you do your laundry?" "Did you eat?" "Have you showered?" "How about that homework?" It's all on me (not that my parents had to constantly ask me these questions) but it feels great, I feel like I am more in control of my life. 
• Limits are well tested. Now that I don't really have a comfort zone anymore because even in my dorm room I am not completely by myself with my roommate, your limits are tested constantly. As frustrating as there is no comfort zone to run to and take cover, I am now obligated to speak and share my ideas. I have spoken up when I need to and I have been speaking with people that I barely know which is a big step for me since I like to keep to myself. So I have this logic that if I keep talking, I will soon find that one friend. 
• Speaking about roommates... We actually get along pretty well! I only have one roommate, and I am really blessed that she is my roommate because even though she may not know it, she is the only person who listens to me here at school in person. To have that opportunity to speak to someone personally about one's problems or just something on my mind, I think that is how I am keeping myself emotionally stable here to be honest. 
• Dorm room is a bit snug but it's comfortable and for that I can't complain. I have mixed feelings about having a dorm room that is almost at the end of the hall away from the elevators but at least I am closer to the stairs so in case of any emergency that results in evacuating the building I have that leverage. I am still getting used to having to walk around everywhere with my keys, I am surprised that I haven't locked myself out of my dorm room yet. *knock on wood*
• Communal showers are not bad at all! Even though I shower in my cheap flip flops everyday, I can't complain about the communal showers. There is nothing embarrassing about them either because just as a bathroom is made for everyone (in this case the ladies bathroom) has their business and does their business and then they leave. All the girls who I have been in the bathroom with have been respectful which is a plus side. There is enough space to not feel so cramped in one shower stall and there is also enough space to change clothes. THE SHOWER STALLS CAN CLOSE WHICH MAKES ME FEEL A WHOLE LOT SECURE. So yeah and the toilets are clean, thankful for the cleaning ladies they do such an amazing job keeping those bathrooms clean.
• Football games? Even though I may go by myself, I am planning to go to my first football game next Saturday (we had our first football game today) but I want to go the one next week because I play against my brother's college and I want to be there when I kick his butt! aha

For those of you who are college freshmen just as myself we are in this together! I wouldn't be surprised if you can entirely relate to what I have been feeling in just these last few weeks. For those who are planning on going to college soon, just know that college isn't as bad as you think it will be. I still have those fears but I am sure you will be fine. Things just take time to settle in so take your time and take advantage of all those opportunities that you see and hear about! You will soon find your people!

How was your first weeks as a college freshman?

xx Chavelita